Skipper, Teen Shopping Consultant

I’m on deadline, working on article assignments about the best holiday gifts and the best stocking stuffers for teenagers.

So you can hear me hollering up the staircase:

"Hey, Skip. Skip? Do you like Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate?” (I found a family-run--since 1949--Scottish shop in Michigan that ships freshly baked scones, rolls, shortbread and--candy from the U.K. Actually, I can’t say I found it. I get a lot of press emails and the press rep, Kylie, happened to email me today! I sure hope the brand survives the final edit, because I love a small business like that, not just giant Amazon.)

You mean the eggs? (Skip meant filled chocolate Easter eggs.)

"No, the Dairy Milk bars. Just milk chocolate.” I know she likes them, because The Pie Shop in town carries them, too and because her friend next-door visits England, where his grandparents live, and I think may have shared some of the candy once.

Yes.

"Why? Why would teens like that?"

Because it’s good.

"Would you want the makeup one of the 'Outer Banks' stars wears?” 

Yes.

"What was that MAC lipstick Figgy got you for Christmas, the shade from 'American Horror Story?’

(No answer.)

"What do you think about a Taco Bell gift card?” It’s a blur. I was considering Subway, Cheesecake Factory, Dunkin and more....

“That’s lame."

How about Chipotle?

Hell yes.

My shoulder blades hurt, good night.