Leaving the Cape Behind Again

The view from the path behind Coast Guard Beach at sunset Friday.

Old Coast Guard Station.

Dan on the bridge we love, which spans the marsh and meadow.

    

Don't look too close at these almost oldies.

Three nights/four days with Dan—in a motel near our (former) family house. We filled our hearts and souls with all the Cape we could fit. We rode the bike trail two days. Lapped up soft-serve vanilla with the best chocolate dip once (Hot Chocolate Sparrow). Early Bird Walk at Wellfleet Audubon. Sweet, tender lobster. Great Pond. Reading books. Naps.

Breathing deep. Feeling our age but also feeling the breeze. I see those two new parents biking over this bridge (pictured above) near sunset with a little red-haired girl on the tandem behind her Dad. Our knees weren’t stiff, and I was much slimmer, wearing a Gap khaki skort. Gray hair? No way. Later, I glimpse those same parents, tired but determined, with a younger, brunette girl who refuses to pose on the bridge for a photo except when making a face and wearing a red devil hairband. But her hair is streaked gold, proof of playful moments in the sun.

Oldness was not yet creeping in, or forgetfulness. And now we leave, but we shall return.

I’m posting this from the Amtrak waiting area in South Station, Boston. Beautiful train station. 

Beach Notes

Grateful for a short getaway with Dan, which he planned. Timeless messages in a bottle I was able to discern through the sometimes cloudy, sometimes clear, weathered lens of my life view:

• Hurricanes cut a fearless, take-no-prisoners path. Erin closed the beaches yesterday (no sandy part to sit on, and the tides were menacing) and flooded the main roads pretty bad. Dan's cap was about to blow off. And today at Island Beach State Park, we were told we could only wade up to our ankles. But the weather was beautiful.
• Lifeguards are golden. Saviors in red trunks or one-pieces ran along the surf, toting weights. Then two went in and rode the giant swells, one on a yellow board that said RESCUE and one in a little boat. The waves were so big, it looked like the vessels would capsize. But they did not, with skillful guards in charge.
• Beach sleep is the best sleep. I fell into a deep one in a chair down by the water but then Erin waves washed up over my bag, my books etc. Dan appeared at that instant and I woke up with a jolt. 
• New Jersey's barrier island is (kind of) like Cape Cod. Some of the same flora, from beach roses to marsh grass. Dunes, though not as towering. But little flies bit big here in the swaying grass. The old visitor center has Cape-like treasures, including finds from shipwrecks, such as heavy canvas diver's shoes and haunting deadeyes, stuffed gulls and a spry fox. I will return.
• Surfside menus are predictable and unhealthy. You'll find sushi (good), subs, seafood, some nice iced coffee if you search, ice cream, sweet cocktails with colorful sunset names, chicken fingers, burgers, deep-fried appetizers. I had a fresh Garden State house salad with crisp cucumbers and peppers by the sea. But fries abound. I didn't finish the salad but did swipe some of Dan's French fries.
• Ocean air smells good.
• Saltwater taffy is still a seaside thing.
• Sunset over the bay is a painting. Pinks, purples, oranges. You feel fortunate to see it.
• Some beach house signs have great messages. IF YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE AT THE BEACH, YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH, one said. Another had a silhouette of a mermaid and said MERMAID X-ING, which made me think of our daughters.

Good night.

Off-Broadway: "Joy" Tells a Mop-Top Mom's Story of Success

 

Betsy Wolfe ("& Juliet" and "Waitress") 

plays Long Island inventor Joy Mangano. 

By Alice Garbarini Hurley

At "Joy," you feel hope and laugh loud at the mettle of Joy Mangano, the Long Island inventor of the Miracle Mop in the 1990s. Facing the camera on QVC, she sold 18,000 mops in under 30 minutes. She elevated the unsexy tool to something more fun, if domesticity can be fun. It had a a big cotton string head that stayed fresh and pretty (remove and spin it in the washer) and a handle mechanism for easy wringing and to save back strain. 

Her story inspired the 2015 movie "Joy," starring Jennifer Lawrence. Ms. Mangano had lost her job as an airline travel agent, and her parents lived with her. The bills were piling up. The real Joy, played with sparkle here by Betsy Wolfe ("Waitress," "& Juliet"), was a divorced mom of three but off-Broadway, she has one child, a teen daughter, who can't afford things teens need and want, like money for a school trip to Disney. 

Wolfe wins as a striking blonde in mom jeans, determined to make that mop. She won't take no for an answer, especially not from the men in the QVC boardroom. She begs and borrows money from her father's glam young girlfriend, trusts her dad to manage the books (oops) and gets swindled for a patent by a cowboy who doesn't show his hand (Paul Whitty in a star turn). 

When Wolfe steps off the stage to present mops to some audience members, you can tell everyone wants one. It's a rough world outside the theater, and laughter and lightness is a buffer. A staffer quickly whisks the mops away for safekeeping until after the show. 

This feel-good production features a fine-tuned ensemble that makes quick changes and a roster of songs and dances about believing in yourself and following your dreams. Ms. Mangano went on to mop up annual sales of more than $150 million on Home Shopping Network. She developed other clever, even cute, products including slim, velvety, no-slip Huggable Hangers that caught Oprah Winfrey's eye. The people leaving the theater had pep in their steps (and maybe JOY friendship bracelets in their pockets, since they're sold out now in the official online merchandise shop). But you can still get the gray flowy tee, with a scoop neck and lettering that says SPARK CREATE INVENT SPREAD JOY. There's magic in those words.

Jennifer Lawrence starred in the movie version (2015).

The suits at QVC are captivating and funny. Charl Brown, front and center, is crush-worthy.

Joy: A True New Musical

Through Sunday, August 17 at the Laura Pels Theater, Manhattan; joythemusical.com. Running time: 2 hours.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joy Mangano, cover girl, 

February 2016 issue of Good Housekeeping Magazine.

Drinking in Maine Peace

Dan, Figgy and I are up in Maine. Punch didn't want to join us, and things didn't exactly go well when we forced her to come last summer. We can't leave our teen at home alone, so Florida Orange (our goddaughter) and her husband have Punch visiting down in Florida. Very nice. They have a sweet new baby girl and Punch loves tropical climates and babies, so it's a good fit. She flew down from Newark Airport and is away the same week we are. We are house- and cat-sitting for dear family here, so that's lucky, and nice, too.

Some notes of peace and joy:

• Beautiful breeze in the trees.
• Fun ride up with Figgy. But by the end, 10 p.m. ish, she said Mom, you talk constantly. Which I do. I'm driving back with Dan Tuesday. Fig has to leave Monday for work.
• Taking care of Pat and Martha's garden. It is so lovely and fertile, bursting with orange, yellow, rose-red, geranium-pink. I wish our gardens were like this. The Maine coast just seems perfect for bright, colorful blooms.
• Lovable fat cat.
• Boats in the harbor.
• Book in my hand.
• Vermont yogurt for breakfast.
• Good coffee from Downshift in Belfast (espresso blend).
• We plan a day to walk and sightsee at Acadia National Park.
• Dan went to the strawberry farm this morning but the red gems were all picked by 11 a.m. We hope to go back Monday or Tuesday, 8 a.m.
• My mother-in-law came to the BBQ. Her daughter rented a van and her sons helped her in, and drove her back. She is 95 and even though she is forgetting a lot, she is remembering some things, too. Like my name, Alice. She also liked looking at the pond and the trees and feeling the breeze.
• Hotdogs and burgers on the grill, cooked by Mike. Grey Poupon mustard.
• Quiet time to process my brother's death. It was June 11, so quick and so recent. I have many thoughts about this, especially that John was estranged from us for decades and at the end of his life, we were involved in the most intimate details, even in cleaning out his apartment in the East Village. He told me last year that he had started to bake desserts weekly and was enjoying it. Going through his cabinets--vanilla extract, cake mix, boxes of brown sugar, cans of frosting. It all felt intimate, all of it. Not just his clothing and photos and letters but also his groceries, the chicken in the freezer, the can of San Marzano tomatoes I brought him January 1. The balsamic vinegar, the boxes of pasta.
• The walking bridge here in Belfast, so lovely. Taking strides by people on the side who hold fishing poles over the bay.

I'm trying to stay in the moment. We have been in touch with Florida Orange and Punch.....they seem good, too. Plus F.O. and husband have a big dog! Punch loves dogs. Good night.

My Eldest Brother Has Left the Building

My brother John. Photo from @internationalbarnyc.

Please check this charming story from The International Bar in the East Village, via the owner, my brother John’s younger friend Tyler. ("I love that guy," Tyler said when he heard John was in the ICU earlier this month.)

STORY FROM EV GRIEVE: https://evgrieve.com/2025/06/rip-john-garbarini.html?m=1. That post links to the obituary I was honored to write about my brother. He would have turned 73 today.

Another of his close friends, stylish artist Bobby Dean of Sophie’s Bar in the EV, held the first memorial service referenced in the obituary. Dan, Figgy, Punch, Sis, Celia, Nancy, Nicole and I all attended that one, along with many admirers. We brought subs (prosciutto, mozzarella, eggplant etc.) and Torrone nougat candy from old-school Russo’s and mini pastries from venerable Veniero’s, 2 doors away. (Our Italian grandma, Rosie, often brought us Torrone when she visited Dumont.) A table in the corner held a framed photo of John; a martini with olives (his favorite drink, Bobby Dean said); a copy of The New York Times crossword puzzle; and a pitcher of blue and pink hydrangea blooms I clipped from our Montclair shrub. We toasted our brother and friend.

I’m out of town on a planned trip now so will miss tomorrow's farewell at The International. Sis and friends Edie, Walter and Margaret, I think, will represent.

I regret to say that our family's relationship with my brother was strained and estranged for many years after our mother's death in 1981. He was smart, talented, well-read, funny--and an enigma, a man of mystery. I blogged about it here. But Sis and I were back in touch as of 2023 at least, so that is good. 

With Dan, we met John for lunch at a Mexican restaurant one spring day. On Good Friday 2024, I had lunch with my friend Celia in the city and she told me my brother's apartment was right around the corner. We found the hidden apartment building, behind a building with a locked gate and a special code, and said hi face-to-face. And on New Year's Day 2025, Dan and I drove in, met Celia, entered the code and dropped off some homemade Marcella Hazan Tomato Sauce; a black & white photo of blonde toddler John with our young mother, near the waves on Cape Cod; a small bowl from my parents' wedding china for remembrance. John came to the door, sat on the seat of his walker, talked with us.

Dad told me once: "Mommy and I used to swing John Joseph in the waves and he laughed so much."

May there be laughter, peace and healing after we leave this land for the heavens. And a feeling of unconditional love, acceptance and respect.

The John Garbarini coasters Tyler made, so cool.

Hellish Hair Day in Hospital

I know it’s superficial to focus on this in a medical crisis, but I just caught a glimpse in the mirror in el baño, as the room is labeled. Omigosh, I need a shampoo and makeup. My Prada lipstick 💄 in Room 57 North should help. 

I’m here for my brother John, who is seriously ill with heart failure, a raging infection after hernia surgery complications, downturn in liver and kidney functions. I got here to Bellevue Hospital on First Avenue and 26th Street in New York City by 5 a.m today. I left last night by 9 p.m., when night fell over the nearby East River and FDR Drive. 

Sis will be here by noon (train from Connecticut). It’s an honor to hold a place by my brother’s bed. And when angels come, I would like to be present.

Blessings Today: Spiritual and Store-Bought

A quick list.

1. My new Peanuts notebook from the Moleskine store in Moynihan Train Hall, up the escalator on the second floor. I love it. I made a list this morning of tasks for Life and for Work and found it helpful. I was productive. Dan usually doesn't read my blog, so I will say that I got him one, too (he loves Peanuts!!!!) for Father's Day. His set (shown above) includes 4 iconic Blackwing for Moleskine pencils. The following legends loved their Blackwings: John Steinbeck, Truman Capote, E.B. White, Aaron Copeland, Leonard Bernstein, Stephen Sondheim, Eugene O'Neill. You had me at Capote and White.
2. Restore & Release Yoga class tonight with Krystal at Yoga Mechanics in Montclair. "People say 'take up space,'" she said near the end. "You don't take up space, you fill the space you're given." I hope I got her wise words right. Also, lovely music and a drop of moon oil at the end, so beautiful.
3. Jones Road The Nail Polish Kit from Montclair resident Bobbi Brown. I brushed on Poppy tonight, her signature red. It feels modern and clean, went on smoothly, dried quickly. The kit includes a bottle that doubles as base and top coat. Yay. 
   
   
   
4. The New York Times cookbook, No-Recipe Recipes by Sam Sifton. I bought the crimson, cloth-covered book at Friends NYC shop in Bushwick, Brooklyn on Saturday on a fun weekend with Kim, Liz and Nan. Already made the savory French toast with torn basil and tomatoes and the pasta with puttanesca sauce. Empowering and stylish book. I take it with me to the supermarket.
5. Wednesday interactions with Figgy. My niece Leah, up in Maine. My sister. My garden.

Good night.