Not going too well so far today. Struggling with identifying enemy. Cannot conquer urges. Caught between trying to forgive myself and forgiving myself so much that it's a lifetime free pass to overeat/overindulge. Battle feels ugly. Fork raised, water bottle ready.
Rachael Ray's Chocolate Layer Cake also good frozen. But I knew that already. Who are we kidding?
Promising here that if I open that pack in the freezer again, am throwing the whole thing out. Even if it did take grocery-list making, money spent [on 14.5 ounces of chocolate, plus cocoa, heavy cream, sugar, butter and more] and a block of time [buttering pans, lining with parchment, buttering again, carefully measuring and sifting ingredients, cooking frosting, cleaning pans].
Maybe the memory of that old-fashioned scent wafting through the condo the night before Easter is rich and sweet enough. That and the pleasure I took in laying a single yellow tulip on top, across the peaks and valleys of creamy frosting. And what about the reactions of two teen girls, my sister and H.'s cousin [females all] when they saw the cake and had a [single] slice? One more calorie-free goody: The knowledge that those teens stole a nighttime nibble from one dark round as it cooled--another time-honored tradition.
But I have to remember that my heart has a cost too, and so does my lifespan.
CAKE TALK
Please: If you have any advice, tips, insights, secrets to success--whether food has never been an issue for you, or whether you've wrestled fridge demons to the ground, please let me know. Whether you've been slim your whole life or not. How do you deal with food cravings? How do you control them? Post a comment! I need help! Thank you.
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Hi Alice. I stress eat. If a tree fell through my roof, that cake would be ancient history by now. Don't be so hard on yourself. This last year I gained 20 pounds. But, since January I have been able to lose 15. (Still working on losing all 20.) I woke up one day and could no longer fit into most of the clothes in my closet. Only the fat clothes. Getting started (and exercising) is the hard part. Weight Watchers has a program that works for me (I lost 55 pounds a few years ago after a gain of 30 pounds of, you guessed it, stress eating.) Under the WW plan, you CAN have a small piece of that cake, you just have to count it into your daily total. (Well, maybe not that particular cake–it sounds uncountable.) It is a curse to love food and have the Garbarini gene. When I am serious about losing weight, I try not to have trigger foods in the house. The weird thing is that after a few days, the intense craving for sweets actually becomes less. Hard to believe, but true. Don't know if any of this helps, but good luck. When you're ready, you'll do it.
ReplyDeleteLinda, thank you so much for that comment. I really appreciate it. Sometimes losing weight feels like a lonely battle. That is great that you lost 15 pounds since January. That is awesome; you must feel so proud.
ReplyDeleteI have been on WW before but not for a while. The first time I did it, before our wedding, I was very successful. The next time, after, I was also moderately successful. But then after that, I tried and failed at WW several times. I've been contemplating trying it again. I do go to boot camp [cardio and weights class with a group of women and a couple of men three mornings a week]. I really thank you for the supportive feedback. Love, your cousin Alice
Alice, I blog just on my weight loss attempt. It's primarily to motivate myself that I write about it, but I do describe techniques and link to some useful sites. Here's the link:
ReplyDeletehttp://diydietbuddy.blogspot.com/
BTW, I got here from "This Blog's Got No Title" - I'm a friend of KCF. I really enjoy sometimes checking in.
Hi Nan. Thanks for your comment. I love Kim's blog and now I am going to check yours out. It sounds like a great idea. Love it. Best, Alice
ReplyDeleteI run.
ReplyDeleteI definitely have food issues, but exercise kind of frees me up from having to think about them. I run, I need fuel, so I eat, and the healthier I eat, the better I run. And it really did get easier over time.
Hang in there ... you are beautiful! Eileen
Wow. I really like that, Eileen. That is wise. I'm going to give that some serious thought. Not that I will run, but for the other exercise I do. Healthy fuel.........Thanks. Love alice
ReplyDeleteAlice,
ReplyDeleteI have always had a love/hate relationship with my weight. I know I am a yoga teacher and all -- but I still have things that come up.
Something I read in an Anne Lamont book has always stuck with me. She talked about being able to really feed yourself. You can take it literally or figuratively, but we all need to learn what it is that feeds us and what it is that we might be feeding with all that chocolate cake.
I also have a great nutritionist who taught me that craving those things just says that I wasn't eating enough good foods. It was eye opening - from that, I ate more and weighed less.
Recently on my meds, I have gained some weight and can't do that with a wedding dress that it quite fitted -- I started tracking my calories and exercise on my phone with an app. I don't do it religiously, but it's good to get familiar with how many calories are enough for you and how many calories the things you like to eat are. Hope this helps.
xoxox
Hi Nicole...i know your wedding is any day now...you will be such a beautiful bride. I wish you and Jared all the best. Thank you so much for your comment. I've been thinking about it a lot. I really like Anne Lamont's writing, and also what you said about if you're craving junky foods, then you aren't eating enough good foods. So obvious, yet somehow so unattainable in the moment. I must say, though, that even before I read it, I had topped off a very stressful day by getting a healthy, delicious salad to go at Tinga. It was 8:30 PM, I was tired, yada yada. But I got the romaine salad with shrimp, avocado, tomato, shredded Monterey Jack and a little dressing on the side. It was so delicious. I really enjoyed every bite. And without any feelings of guilt, you know? I did feel like I was feeding my body the good stuff. Thanks again. Love alice
ReplyDelete