My Maine

The movie theater in Belfast that Mike and Therese own.

Since I was about 26, I've gone to Maine every single summer for a week or more with H. and later, with H. and Figgy, and then even H., Figgy and Punch. We also drive up for alternate Thanksgivings and Christmases.

H.'s big family lives there--his four smart, witty, talented older brothers, John, Michael, Dave and Pat, his mom, Mary, and his little sister, Eileen, with her husband, Mike, and three cute kids, who are Figgy's age and younger. When I started going 23 years ago, my oldest niece, Leah, was 7--she just turned 30. She and my nieces Mariah and Anna will always remain enchanting young girls in one corner of my heart. I wasn't a mother yet when I met them, and I loved polishing their nails, admiring their dresses, admiring them. They were the flower girls in our wedding. Dave and Sheila's sons, Chris, Matt and Will, also had a boyhood very much worth remembering....climbing and running all over tree-covered islands in the sea, young Will hiking up Blueberry Hill with us.

Change
I'm not going this summer, and I know I'm going to miss Maine's rugged coast, small-town charm and white church steeples, not to mention my big family. H. and Figgy are leaving tomorrow morning for a week, but I have a lot of work deadlines converging, and mainly, do not want to leave my Dad, who is still in the hospital and not doing well. They're driving straight from Maine to Cape Cod for what is our designated week in August this year, between the renters and Will and Kelly--and that would mean we'd be away for two solid weeks.

Nope, can't leave Dad that long. Already felt bad today when I couldn't see him. But am hopeful that I can do the Cape Cod leg of the trip :)

Gift List
In an effort to brace myself, here's my loss list, What I Love about Maine:

• Iced coffee at the Belfast Co-op; yum. Also, the BLT. And the beeswax candles, which I like to bring home and then burn in NJ, to soften the blow of leaving such a beautiful state behind.
• The freshly mowed field behind the Comfort Inn in Belfast, where Sug loves to run wild, the joy of freedom--finally freedom--on her small happy face. And the rocky beach below the field, where I've sat and pondered life many a time.
• Going to the movies in Belfast--brother-in-law Mike and wife Therese own the old Colonial Movie Theatre, which they restored and revamped to perfection. Link: www.colonialtheatre.com. They even serve coffee--how smart is that?
• Staying at John and Leah's big house, right up the hill from the bay, sharing home-cooked meals at their farmhouse table, walking Sug in the neighborhood, reading and relaxing.
• Walking to church from John's house, past vivid gardens. John also has a cherry tree [he's made pie with the fruit], a white picket fence and rhubarb growing.
• Hiking with John, H., Figgy and Sug, as the ragged white one scrambles up over the rocks like she was born to scale mountains, not sit on laps with hot-pink bows in her hair.
• Going to Mt. Battie, with its sweeping view of the beautiful seaside village of Camden. H. and I once hiked with Figgy at Mt. Battie [we also camped nearby] and since she was littler and closer to the ground, she found some wild blueberries that we sampled. :)
• Lighthouses. All of them.
• Chase's in Belfast, a great place for breakfast--and to buy local farm produce, flowering plants and dark chocolate cookies studded with melty chocolate chunks and dried cherries. I've hunted far and wide for a recipe to make those, and did find a cookbook that has a good version.
• The way Dave makes me crack up with his jokes and observations. All four brothers are quite amazing. John is a gifted house painter, yogi and reader; Michael is an entrepeneur who also runs Zippy's hotdog stand in the summer in Houlton, ME [and for years, he was mayor of Belfast!]; Dave is a talented artist and teacher; Pat, the carpenter, has built beautiful houses and likes his motorcyle trips. They're all smart, they're all witty [some drier than others] and they all love nature. I love that about them.
• My mother-in-law, some of the laughs we share, seeing her pretty freckles, and enjoying her delicious cooking and world-class homemade salad dressing.
• My sisters-in-law Eileen, Therese and Sheila [though Sheila, a chef, has been gone most summers lately, being in charge of food at a camp in Maine].
• Going to Young's Lobster Pound for dinner with everyone. Mary usually brings a salad for everyone to share, and that signature dressing.
• Hanging around with Eileen and Mike and their kids and their great big black Lab, Sasha, at their camp on Pushaw Lake. Going out on the boat, pulling the kids on tubes behind us. Hearing the loud bullfrogs in the tidy little cabin when we go to sleep at night.
• Bar Harbor!!!!!! One of the most gorgeous spots on earth......hiking in Acadia National Park, taking that simple walk along the water's edge in town, going to Ben & Bill's Chocolate Emporium for maybe a little piece of rocky road fudge to share with my nephew, Taylor, and to marvel for the umpteenth time over the fact that they have lobster ice cream there.

These summer gifts will still be there, I trust, when I can get back next year this time. And maybe I can even tuck in a visit in the fall? Autumn there is a gift from God.

What I realize when I review this list after a night's sleep is that visiting H.'s family in their beautiful state has been a constant in my life--I've been there as H.'s girlfriend, as his fiancee, a newlywed, expecting, as a mom......even with Punch a couple of times.....our Figgy has grown up loving Maine. And H. adores his family....he says he feels nourished after seeing them all.

Northern Star
Still, someone else has been a constant in my life for even longer, and he's lying by himself in a hospital bed. We will be figuring out where he goes this week when he's discharged. Looks like the very pretty Sunrise assisted living apartment Sis and Will moved his belongings into three weeks ago will not be an option now, because he's so much weaker and needs more care. But when he isn't sleeping, is he scared, worried, lonely, uncomfortable, in pain? I want to be there. Just be there. I hope my presence for a couple/few hours a day can somehow soothe.

It makes me happy that H. and Figgy are stopping at the hospital on their way to Maine today, too. My Dad still has crystal-clear memories of the few days he spent with my Mom in Bar Harbor on their honeymoon road trip. He's told me all about that.