Dark Night

Right now, I feel like Lady Macbeth, a study in turmoil and tortured feelings. But I do like her gown in this depiction. Proves even tortured souls can dress chicly.

Sometimes I don't have anything printable to blog about. Tonight is one of those times. What I feel sad and angry about is too personal to write here. My mood matches the weather, rainy and dark.

My mood has two faces: Lady Sad and Lady Angry. They are really quite different. How can I be feeling both of those things at once? Wouldn't it be healthier--clearer, more direct--to just be one? Oh, and I also feel like a failure on some levels. So please add Lady F to the mix, too. She's pretty potent when she puts her mind to something.

If I did blog about it, I would be releasing into cyberspace some very intimate feelings. Feelings that are probably better kept to myself, sorted out by myself. Feelings I could never really get back, once I unleashed them, like stealthy dark panthers that would pad quietly into the night, covering a lot of ground with their graceful lunges.

I trust things will be better tomorrow.  But I do not look forward one bit to the way the day will start--by rising at 4 A.M. to drive H. to Newark Airport for an early flight to Canada.

Let me prep a couple of answers my editor needs, send some emails to arrange interviews, then go wash my face, brush and floss my teeth, smooth on some eye cream [in the hopes it can work miracles], get my boot camp clothes ready for tomorrow, and curl up in bed.

May your nighttime be better than mine. And may I wake up as Alice again, not one of the ladies in waiting.

Illustration from austinshakespeare.org.