Sadness Rears Its Ugly Head--Again

Warning: Depressing Content

This blog is called Truth and Beauty, and I promised from the start to blog honestly about life,  even when it's scary.

This is scary. It's hard to put it out there. But I feel very sad and very heavy about the way the discord between me and H. affects Figgy. And it truly does. It always has. It scares the wits out of me, but my partner can't seem to stop his destructive outbursts. I am by no means an angel, but I did grow up in a home that was more stable.

It takes a lot for me to breathe in, step back and not get entangled in the web, to make matters worse.

But my doing that still does not spare Figgy the pain.

And that causes me great pain. H., too, yet he seems to relapse into the behavior again and again.

My options are few, for various reasons.

Thank you for being there, blank blog page and kind people who read this blog. I trust that writing about this will be healthier in the long run for everyone involved, rather than me just racing onto the rest of my day and night without stopping to feel these ugly feelings.

To be honest, I not only feel sorry for Figgy, but for myself, too. I do not feel sorry for H. Not anymore.