Glimmers of hope and goodness, yes, but hard times, too.
Not convinced I am properly equipped to be the mother of my teenage girl. To hug these bends with her, to keep my hands on the wheel, my eye on the road, on the horizon. To help her keep her eye there, too. To not lose sight of the forest for the trees. Not spin totally out of control at the roadblocks. And by that I mean, as her mother, to not fall apart but rather think clearly, calmly and constructively.
Can't say too much in this public space, so that's the beginning, middle and end of this post.
Lower the shades, pull up the covers.
Struggling, I say to you, good night.
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Dear Alice. I used to be so jealous of those parents with the perfect cookie-cutter teen-aged girls. The kids that got along with their parents, got involved in community service and got good grades to boot. (My daughter got good grades but she never really broke a sweat and I don’t think she would have fared so well academically if it took her half an effort. So there was another non-perfect trait.) But I have learned that under the surface of even those picture perfect families, the challenges of parenting are there for all of us, one way or another. I don’t think that anyone is born properly equipped to be a parent to a teenager but I think we find the necessary equipment along the road. You will find what you need to get her (and you) through this. You are doing it already (I know). Figgy is unique, gifted and the combination of two extraordinary and creative individuals who are wonderful, caring parents. It’s a rough road and you can easily get blindsided by what is around each bend. Tomorrow (in the open sense, of course) will be better.
ReplyDeleteI have the benefit of ten years distance from when my daughter was Figgy’s age. Call any time and I will share harrowing teen-age tales as well as encouraging outcomes. Love you. Linda
No-one is equipped to be a parent, especially of a teen. It is impossible; yet we manage to get through it, mostly. Many years ago a boss of mine used his experience as a parent of adolescents as an example of a work relationship: "You run after them, throwing love at them, harder and harder, but it always just bounces off." He went on to say, the teens at least generally grow out of it.
ReplyDeleteSounds like the time in Maine was terrific. Now we're all dealing with back to ordinary life.
Dear Linda, thank you so much for your note. Reading the notes from you and Nan made me cry. It is so nice to get your support. I will call soon, dial-a-cousin for love and perspective. Nan, I love your note, also, and what your boss said. I am going to remember that. I try telling Figgy all the time how much I love her. Have been listening to the Crosby, Stills, Nash song about parents and kids and just look at them and sigh, and know they love you......that song has been helpful. Thank you both so much for your notes and for caring. Love, alice
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