Very rough-tough day. When they hand you a baby at the hospital, you have no idea what's in store. You only know that the sweet little being needs you, like a baby robin needs to take refuge under a parent's warm wings. The mother has flown far and wide. She knows the way, and is eager to introduce her robin's egg blue treasure to the friendly skies, the leafy perches, the sunny birdbaths. To protect her from storms that shake the tree.
Birds fashion a nest from leaves and twine and even plastic but you, you feather yours with tiny pink clothes, newborn diapers, stuffed animals and storybooks. You only know that you've loved that wingling since the moment you could, and you can't imagine ever not loving her.
Then life intervenes, and many buttons are pressed, beliefs tested, hopes challenged, worries piled up. It's not all pink balloons and train birthday cakes, like the one you baked for her first birthday. It's not a blur of drooling grins and moptop hair. It's a struggle to grow, to land, to fly, to find. And her struggle is different than the one you remember from flight school, though you keep trying to think of ways it might be the same. She takes flight where there are sharp, prickly thorns--she's not always winging through friendly skies, as you naively hoped she could.
Sometimes it is more than my little heart can take. I don't know if a mother robin feels that way.
Must retreat to sleep. Good night.
TCOY
Birds fashion a nest from leaves and twine and even plastic but you, you feather yours with tiny pink clothes, newborn diapers, stuffed animals and storybooks. You only know that you've loved that wingling since the moment you could, and you can't imagine ever not loving her.
Then life intervenes, and many buttons are pressed, beliefs tested, hopes challenged, worries piled up. It's not all pink balloons and train birthday cakes, like the one you baked for her first birthday. It's not a blur of drooling grins and moptop hair. It's a struggle to grow, to land, to fly, to find. And her struggle is different than the one you remember from flight school, though you keep trying to think of ways it might be the same. She takes flight where there are sharp, prickly thorns--she's not always winging through friendly skies, as you naively hoped she could.
Sometimes it is more than my little heart can take. I don't know if a mother robin feels that way.
Must retreat to sleep. Good night.
TCOY
- Made whole-wheat pasta with broccoli and chicken for dinner.
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Your big heart, honey. Your big heart.
ReplyDeleteKim....thanks....love alice
ReplyDeleteAlice. It is really difficult…things are so different than from when we were teenagers, and our parents used to say that about our generation, too. And then there are the individual challenges. You are doing everything possible. I am thinking of you and family and sending positive energy to your nest. Hang in. Love, Lin
ReplyDeleteHi Lin. thanks for the note. I was thinking of Judi too, yesterday, and hope it all went ok. I know our parents struggled with the way teenhood emerged in the 1970s....in their face, completely, completely different from their teen world, yet I do think that Dad and Aldo were less sheltered in the Bronx than my Mom was with her Catholic school girlhood, so maybe they had more insight? or should have?...I closely witnessed my parents' worries/anger/tears, since I was their youngest and I guess I was paying attention to their reactions...I wish that I could talk to Aldo and Dad about their thoughts....well, I did talk to Dad about his...and my mother.....does your mom have some interesting perspective? it is good she is still around to talk to, even though i know that things can be trying. thanks for sending good energy to nest. love, alice
ReplyDeleteMy dad was surprisingly rational and understanding of our teenage antics. My mom was always the one who flew off the handle, as they say. So you are right about the G. brothers and their less-sheltered youths reflecting in their parenting. If we were ever in trouble, my dad was definitely to one to go to.
ReplyDeleteJudi went to same day surgery yesterday with all intentions of being “surgerized” (my daughter made up that word, I like it), but it was postponed until next Thursday due to an underlying but non-serious infection.
Take care, Al. Love, Lin
Hi Lin....thanks for note and pls. send my best to Judi. love alice
ReplyDelete