What if I told you I planned to work a lot today but ended up going to boot camp, talking to my friend, weeding the garden, taking a shower, overeating [crackers with lox, crackers with salted butter, part of a brownie], reading a juicy chapter of Revenge Wears Prada and then sleeping for 2 hours, in a food stupor?
The irony, as those of us with struggles know, is that hitting the wall can be good--if you're able to step back and see that you don't want to be there, pressed in that space, and you don't have to be. You want to be in a place where you love and nurture yourself and those around you, where you work productively, believe in yourself and appreciate beauty. Where you have the power; the substance does not. You don't want to be like a desperate caged animal, grabbing and clawing and baring your teeth at those around you. You want to be free.
So here I sit, eating a peach. I reclaimed my day. H. and I shared a Chinese entree and brown rice for dinner. I paid the power bill and the Comcast bill. I put money into Figgy's college fund. I paid an overdue therapy bill. I emailed two of my editors. All of this felt good. And now, I'm working a little, too.
Tomorrow will be a better day. I know it will.
Good night.
TCOY
The irony, as those of us with struggles know, is that hitting the wall can be good--if you're able to step back and see that you don't want to be there, pressed in that space, and you don't have to be. You want to be in a place where you love and nurture yourself and those around you, where you work productively, believe in yourself and appreciate beauty. Where you have the power; the substance does not. You don't want to be like a desperate caged animal, grabbing and clawing and baring your teeth at those around you. You want to be free.
So here I sit, eating a peach. I reclaimed my day. H. and I shared a Chinese entree and brown rice for dinner. I paid the power bill and the Comcast bill. I put money into Figgy's college fund. I paid an overdue therapy bill. I emailed two of my editors. All of this felt good. And now, I'm working a little, too.
Tomorrow will be a better day. I know it will.
Good night.
TCOY
- Boot camp in the park. Sprints, dips, steps. Good to be back with my friends after vacation. I love that group.
- Weeded around dahlias and sunflowers.
- Walked Sug around block twice.
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