Evening Falls in Wellfleet

We went to fireworks over the water to celebrate Wellfleet's 250th birthday. Before that, I walked along Commercial Street and it was very, very pretty.

Still--swirling feelings of sadness, bitterness, anger, loss, abandonment as Figgy about to leave for college. In some ways, she seems so different from me. Rebellious. Black T-shirt to my Lilly Pulitzer hot pink top. Combat boots to my rhinestone sandals. Outspoken and cynical on religion vs. my unquestioning faith. And I guess that hurts, maddens and disappoints me. When I overhear her being kind or supportive to someone, I feel better. When I see her reading Tolstoy at the pond, I see her good Dad.

But that's my vanity. Parenthood doesn't really work like that, does it? It's not really as though everything good or bad about us can be traced back to our parents. It's not as though I get an X for my child's human failings or a halo for her best parts. Yet it feels that way.

No, Figgy is a whole, complicated person just like I am....with passions and doubts, dreams and talents. Decisions to make one step at a time, one day at a time, as she moves through her life. She is she and I am me. May both of us see the beauty around us.

The sky rockets were stunning.

I took this picture of Figgy [in striped shirt] watching from the beach.

Good night.

TCOY

1. Good tooth care.

2. Biked to Great Pond and took nap there.

3. Made us BLTs heavy on the L and T for lunch.

4. That evening walk in Wellfleet.