Clockwork Orange

I decided today to give up sugar [the substance, not the fluffy white pet].

I went to the store and bought oranges. My friend told me she has a pink grapefruit before bed every night and loves it. And she is beautiful and wise, inside and out.

If you know me, you know this will take a Herculean effort. I have spent a lifetime glorifying sweets. And writing about them for top women's magazines [I was really good at describing Christmas cookies and Oreo cake], reading about them, making them, drooling over them in bakeries and sweet shops in every mecca from Madison Avenue to Vienna, splurging on them in upscale boutiques, giving them as rich homemade presents at Christmas, devouring them in public at parties and in private [standing up, in a frenzy], even selling my key lime and Parisian chocolate tarts for a few months. I own dozens of decadent chocolate cookbooks, have many cookie cutters, and jars of pretty colored sprinkles are lined up on the windowsill over my kitchen sink, like fashion accessories.

But in the end, these sweets aren't sweet. They are killing me softly...via mood, outlook, weight, heart, overall health risk. Plus energy level and inner and outer beauty.

I plan to give my poor body and mind a break. 

I remember my brother-in-law Pat's former girlfriend Paula, who ate no sugar and drank no alcohol. She said both could have the same effects. That was mystifying to me all those summers ago in Maine. Now I understand.

I will report back. So far, I had an orange for a bedtime snack here at Sis's in Connecticut. That said, I also behaved like a vicious addict, cursing at two people in my family earlier today. With that comes shame. This road won't be easy for me or those who travel closely by my side, but I hope it will lead to a peaceful, healthier place for all of us.

And I trust I can still be a sweet person without eating my drug of choice.

TCOY

1. Support group. Talked to some kindred spirits and my friend S. inspired me.

2. Yoga class. Though cursing is so not yoga-peaceful.

3. That bedtime orange.