To Punch, on Your First Holy Communion

Sorry, formatting is off and I will try to fix tomorrow. Well, it's tomorrow and I can't fix the glitch that happened when inputting photos from my iPhone. Sorry, Punchy! Do iPhones still exist in the future, when I hope you've come across this? Because you can read it perfectly on a smartphone but text is choppy and cut off on my laptop. So grab your smartphone or whatever the futuristic equivalent is!!!! Love, Alice 

Here you are standing in our dining room before we left for church.
Your veil isn't on yet. The nosegay of fresh white tea roses
is from Bartlett's, the place you have loved to visit
since you moved here at age 6 1/2.

Story of my life, tired again, but I really want to write this note to you 
to remember your First Holy Communion on 
Saturday, May 7, 2016 at 10 a.m. Mass, Saint Cassian Church.

Dear Punchy,

Now you are nine. Competent, smart, insightful, busy-busy nine. You and I had such fun choosing this dress, and the accompanying veil,
at Over the Moon on Valley Road. Do you remember? Even after I paid for it, I would not take it home, asked the 
sweet storeowner to hold it for us, because I was afraid you would play dress-up and get it dirty. When we went back
to choose the veil, you tried the dress on again. Enchanting.

See that bun? Your pal, young teen Nikki Mernin, arrived at 8:15 a.m. because I enlisted her help to do that bun
with a special bun maker she has. It's a soft ring that snaps closed in a coil and stays in under your hair. Nikki did your bun up on
Cape Cod one day so I asked her to do it for this!

Dan and I were very busy preparing all week for the occasion. Picking up your dress, veil and bouquet, buying white shoes at 
Payless [size 13.5], even hiring two cleaning ladies to scrub and shine for five hours on Friday. We ran around cleaning
and decluttering with them, from 8:30 a.m. to 1:30. Well, I got tired and took a little nap on the couch. 
They arrived before you left for school, and you wanted to stay home and help clean, but we said no.

I asked you what your favorite part about the cleanup was and you said, The bathroom. Everything is so shiny. And it is: the white tub, the chrome fixtures.

Patsy, in Colorado for almost a year now, coached us on the menu and prep. We all miss her so much! But thanks to her help on pacing ourselves, it was less stressful. Dan mowed the front lawn on Monday and the back and side later in the week. I made the Neiman Marcus Chocolate Chip Cookies Monday night and stashed them in the basement in a tin. I dipped marzipan in fine melted bittersweet chocolate [for vegans Figgy and her friend Boaty] another night. Thursday night, I made two savory tart crusts. Friday night, I made the arugula, bacon, fresh corn and thyme filling using this recipe. I can't say it was easy, but everyone loved it. The crust was crimped and tender; the filling rich. You took a piece though and didn't like the arugula. We also had shrimp shooters [huge cocktail shrimp in little clear cups with cocktail sauce and tiny lemon wedges]. You thought the sauce was too spicy. But you happily passed them around to guests, saying Shrimp shooter?

We borrowed a big cooler from the Braleys, two houses up, on Friday night, to hold the ice and drinks. This was also Patsy's idea, and very smart, because we normally would have tried to jam all the bottles into the fridge. Elaine, your beloved baby sitter, came to our house at 10:45 a.m., while we were still at Mass, to heat up the savory tarts and make roast beef and ham sandwiches with the cold cuts Danny bought.

You were very excited! Many who love you were here. Mimi, Christine, Auntie, Don, Figgy, Boaty, Aunt Moey, Uncle Ted, Nikki, Anne Mernin, Mrs. P. from across the street, Dan F., Cara, Mary Jane, Tony [and their cute dog, Lucille, who flew up from Florida with them], Marissa [aka Florida Orange], Brian, Obie, Dewane, Marcelo, Baby Amalia, Julie, Sophie, Rowan. And don't forget me and Dan! We love you so much.

Mr. and Mrs. Rose were at the church. She was a Eucharistic minister, with the wine cup.

We had a sheet cake with a yellow icing cross and the words God Bless Alexa. I made four-inch Lemon Icebox and Vanilla Pudding tarts with thick, buttery graham cracker crusts. The latter didn't come out too good, because the pudding didn't set right. Oh well, you can't win 'em all. People loved the lemon tarts. And Auntie and Don brought a huge platter of Cannoli Nachos from DiMare Bakery in Riverside, CT. Everyone loved those! Showstopper!

Enough of all this. I just wanted to record the details. I could go on and on about beautiful Communion cards and special gifts, like the Harry Potter wand Figgy and Florida Orange got for you, the Communion remembrance book from Dan and Cara, but....as far as receiving the Sacrament, which is what the day was really about, it was lovely. Our church looked so pretty. You looked so proud. Because you started school at age 6 1/2, you were older than the other kids. I will try to paste here a photo of Figgy and my Dad from her First Holy Communion. I believe she was 7.

Punchy, may God and the church be a soothing source in your life. You will not be alone. As I told you, on the morning that my Mom died, I walked straight to my childhood church, Saint Mary's in Dumont, and sunk down in the polished wood pew and cried. I was 20. I went there as if by auto pilot. It was a place of refuge, of familiarity. I had been there all my life with my parents and siblings. I started crying when telling you this the other day,
and you did something to make me laugh. I forget what.

The church has its comforts. The candles you and I light in memory of our parents. The statue of the Blessed Mother. The blue stained glass. The incense. The songs. Shaking hands for peace. The Holy Water. And, at Christmas, the banks of poinsettias and the manger scene.

When you are older, you will learn that Catholicism has its conflicts. Yes, it does. Some people have been badly hurt at the hands of men in power in our church. That is hard to face and hard to bear. Some of the doctrines are narrow-minded. Some people--like Dan--have become disillusioned. But still, I hope you will find some solace there. I pray you won't turn your back on it. Remember people like Jean and Terry Rose and their lovely six children; they are kind and helpful and fun, and their Catholic faith is a big part of their lives. And I am imperfect, but I thank God for grace and blessings.

And oh, BTW, Punch? See the pearls around your bun? That's my bracelet. The ponytail holders were showing, so I asked Nikki if we could put the bracelet there to cover them. It worked out perfectly!

Well, I'm signing off now. Good night.

Love, Alice [aka Angela; you don't want to call me Mom, because you still see your Mom. We arrived at Angela, because I pointed out that you and are angels to each other.]

You and Nikki.

With Mimi and Christine, her friend since high school. Christine's son and your Dad were friends.

With me and Danny.

TCOY

1. Ate some broccoli and brown rice. Too many treats left over from party. Feeling fat.
2. About to take a bath.
3. Yesterday, on Mother's Day, I joined Miss Aliya Warren and her grandmom, Lestella [named for "the stars"] for a few hours as Miss Warren's guest at a Sip & Spill paint party in East Orange. All women, and we painted and had mimosas and lunch and talked. It was really lovely. You know Miss Warren, your aide for two years at school! You and she love each other.