Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me

Beautiful sea-blue sofa in the pool house--near the massage rooms,
hot tub, infinity pool and cushioned lounge chairs.

Where land meets sea; at Lincolnville Beach
this evening about 7 p.m.

Planning to smooth my hair and add volume with
sunny yellow DryBar rollers tonight.
Also want to polish my nails. But rising pretty early.

Oh, what a day. I think I will remember it always. It's funny, in the midst of chaos at home--popping up and down from my desk chair, making dinner, doing dishes, filling our dying fridge/freezer with ice bags, walking and feeding Sug, getting Punchy up for school, moving piles of clean laundry and somehow never putting them away--I crave solitude and peace. Yet here on my own for one overnight at this storybook inn by the sea, I did feel a twinge of loneliness. I missed my H. and thought about him and the girls a lot.
 

Staircase to the sea--sapphire in the rough.

How beautiful is it here at the Inn at Ocean's Edge? Let me count the ways.

1. A steep, humble wood staircase leads down to the rugged coastline. First, I breathed in that fishy smell, then I stood for a while on a rock and just watched the water slap the stones, slap, slap, slap, and I thought. And thought and thought. I studied some stray logs and branches drifting on the water, looked to the left to a picturesque cove, listened to the fog horn. Stared at that rock-choked shore. I couldn't see the sand for the stones. How did people settle here? So hard to walk on the edge, let alone bring in a boat. Tears came to my eyes. Exactly who is my daughter Figgy at age 20? I tried to see her as she is, not as the granddaughter of my mother and father or the daughter of me and H. It occurred to me that my parents were born almost 100 years ago [well, in 1923 and '24] and their lives were so different from Fig's. When they were young, my mother wore saddle shoes and my dad snuck cigarettes. I tried to see Fig not by our expectations but by hers. I tried to see her as the world sees her, and as she sees herself. This is all on the cusp of her moving here [to Belfast] for the summer. I tried to contemplate Punchy, too, but it was different, and harder to grasp. She is 9. And then I came to, who am I? What is my path?
2. The hot tub felt good. Nice and warm and soothing. I sat in it while evening mist rolled in.
3. The coffee in the lobby is excellent; it's from Carrabassett Coffee Company in Kingfield, Maine. And, small detail, but I like that you can pour it right into a to-go cup or a real cup and saucer.
4. The gas fireplace in my deluxe room is pampering. I feel rich. Just flick a switch.
5. I booked a Swedish massage for tomorrow morning, before I check out.
6. The young lady at the desk told me the beds are super comfortable. I can't wait!
7. I can see the sea from two sides of my room, as I'm in a corner. And I can hear the breeze. And be cooled by it.

And yet, yet....as we are both freelance writers, you know that H. and I are often waiting for paychecks. Two we were expecting arrived after I left for the drive up on Saturday; H. deposited them and $300 cleared but the balance of the checks doesn't clear until tomorrow [Tuesday!] morning. That has been hard, because I had to pay for gas to get up here, plus food, help Fig pay for some groceries, etc. My shopping has been seriously curtailed, but I guess that's not such a bad thing. Still, tonight for dinner, I had a total of $18.79. I went to the Lobster Pound and got a pulled pork sandwich. The lobster roll was a bit over my budget, with tip and tax. The scallops, too, though the lady at the table behind me was ordering them broiled, and that sounded pretty good!

I hope to have a good meal tomorrow night. But then I head for the hills--with Figgy's dear friend, Elizabeth--by 8 a.m. Wednesday morning.

I better go shampoo and condition and get those rollers in. Sweet dreams.