When life’s road gets rough, it seems like everything is stacked up against you.
- Underpants on inside-out.
- CPAP breathing tube detaching from face mask once or twice per night; it wakes you, and you re-adjust.
- Eyeglass frames breaking.
- Hair freshly shampooed with salty potion harvested from California coast (and ordered online months ago) but you didn’t allow enough time to blow-dry or apply makeup before morning drive.
- Big hole in sole of right Tory Burch shoe. Too far-gone after several years of near daily wear (except in summer sandal weather) to be salvaged. But this well-worn pair is a loyal old friend, for sure, offering steady footing in all kinds of weather.
- Tiny piece of white pill stuck to bottom of bare foot. Some family member dropped it and your ample size 11 picked it up. Fortunately, you noticed before shower.
- Brunetti or Dan did not allow Sugar enough time in the green grass yesterday morning and she lowered her white fur skirt and deposited two poos near your closed glass office door during 7 a.m. Zoom support group. Mother’s Day gift, a day late?
- You hate everyone, you told your therapist on your planned call yesterday. You listed some names. “Yeah, and you can add me to your list,” he said. Exactly. At that moment.
Here’s what I wrote in a blog post on Sunday, June 12, 2011, almost 10 years ago:
You know for sure that you're on a dark road when you feel bitter, angry and jealous, when you measure yourself against perfect strangers--and worse yet, friends, the friends you love--and come up short. You even created an acronym for that years ago. BAJ, for bitter angry jealous. BAJ [pronounced BAG] lady.
Better days ahead, starting now, I trust.
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Ouch, eyeglass frames are a serious expense, sorry to see this. Also the shoes, hard to combine comfort and good looks esp in larger sizes (sez my size 10 self). But the CPAP thing, there's a fix there that should not be bad at all. Bring it in to a hardware store, and ask for a rubber gasket that will fit around the base. That should give you a little more flex as your head moves at night without dislodging it. You need your rest! 🛌🛌🛌
ReplyDeleteLiz
Liz thank you for caring. I should have explained that so far I only wear readers for my eyes, so they were about $39. But still, I like this pair. Sending love.
DeleteOh, once these things start piling up, they become more noticeable and each one seems like it’ll tip you over the edge. A good pair of shoes are irreplaceable- I could go on about comfy shoes in my past.
ReplyDeleteIt’s so good of you to be able to articulate your feelings and recognize feeling that way before, even when they are ugly feelings. I’m glad you have someone to talk to.
Xoxo, thinking of you.
Nan
Hi Nan. I read this yesterday but didn’t get a chance to comment. Your support means a lot, and I thank you. And, I am still wearing the shoe with the hole just because I cannot yet part with that pair. But I will soon. LOVE Alice
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