Too tired to write much. This is all very exhausting. Tomorrow we have to be at the funeral home by 8:30 A.M. The Mass is at 9:30, in the parish Dad went to for 50 years.
And what I realized when I left the wake tonight and whispered Good night, Papa, by the coffin is that after tomorrow, I will not be seeing him.
For all my brave talk that I know he's not there, that what's in the casket is his shell but not his spirit, I realized tonight that I saw him Sunday, Monday and Tuesday of this week. He died early Wednesday morning, and I saw him after that, too. And then of course we saw him yesterday and today at the wake.
But after tomorrow, no more. I will miss him so much. I truly do not know how I will mince forward in a world without him. I feel immensely and intensely sad. Even though his life has been limited for a long time, I was just talking to him Tuesday night. He was asking if I handed in my article. This feels so sudden. How can this be?
Good night.
And what I realized when I left the wake tonight and whispered Good night, Papa, by the coffin is that after tomorrow, I will not be seeing him.
For all my brave talk that I know he's not there, that what's in the casket is his shell but not his spirit, I realized tonight that I saw him Sunday, Monday and Tuesday of this week. He died early Wednesday morning, and I saw him after that, too. And then of course we saw him yesterday and today at the wake.
But after tomorrow, no more. I will miss him so much. I truly do not know how I will mince forward in a world without him. I feel immensely and intensely sad. Even though his life has been limited for a long time, I was just talking to him Tuesday night. He was asking if I handed in my article. This feels so sudden. How can this be?
Good night.
Posts
Hang in there, Alice. Love you lots.
ReplyDeleteKim.....thank you for your thoughtfulness......will call love alice
ReplyDelete