Things are scrambled, not sunny side up, and even this typeface looks giant as I write because I'm using the Blogspot app on H.'s phone.
I'm sitting at the old red and white flea-market kitchen table, the same one where we fed Fig and Punch baby food, had dinner with our friends, sang happy birthday many Augusts to young Fig. [We did that yesterday, too.]
I'm sitting at the old red and white flea-market kitchen table, the same one where we fed Fig and Punch baby food, had dinner with our friends, sang happy birthday many Augusts to young Fig. [We did that yesterday, too.]
I knew there would be a bump when Figgy came back to her family after a full summer living and working on her own in Maine. But I didn't know it would all be thrown at us at once.
Figgy pushes the envelope. Gifted artist? Yes, working on a watercolor at round table right now at the Cape. Also into style. But add a shaved head, a new tattoo from Provincetown, where she met her friend last evening instead of having dinner with us, and a liking of substances I'm against. On top of that, there's an impressionable young girl in our house. I'm angry. Hard to live and let live as a parent.
It's my way to notice some graces. So I'm grateful for the sweeping sunset I saw from the wharf at Ptown last night, the huge bouillabaisse from Napi's that H. couldn't finish but I lunched on today and the Green Science kit Punch bought with her money yesterday. She and H did fun experiments today. I took a lavender bubble bath.
God, please give me grace, strength, calm and wisdom. Give me insights. The water is rough, the eggs scrambled. This doesn't bode well as Fig is about to move back home for a fall semester. I can't live with this discord under our roof. Prayers, please.
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I'll send you prayers, but also this advice. REALLY pick your battles, Alice. Shaved head and tattoo: you may not like it, but it ain't your body and if you're not paying for it, I'd lay my arms down on that one. Substances you don't like. If you don't want it in your home, there's a battle I can get behind. It's SO HARD with young adults, and I'm learning, too, but if it's not illegal and I'm not funding it and it's not encroaching on my home and personhood, I try to shut up. If, however, it's an action that I don't want in my house, I make that clear and stick to it. If she doesn't like it, she can fund her own life elsewhere. Again, prayers. All easier said than done. xoxo
ReplyDeleteHi my friend. Thanks for caring and for the note. I hear you. And it's me, Alice, on dan's fone again. Yes I have come to terms w hair and even like it a little. And the whole thing about pot getting legalized really clouds the issue for me. But certainly can't use under our roof. It's funny, I have friends who smoke and I don't judge them. But if it's my family, I do, and I fret a lot, too. I have my worries. It may sound corny, but I will do my best and also trust in God.thanks again. Xo
DeleteOh I hear you on worries. I'm hiding behind the fact that pot is not legal yet (in NY). "While it's illegal, not in my house). BTW, it wll always not be allowed--I hate smoke of any kind. But on an objective note, I think it SHOULD be legalized. It's confusing! LOL!
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