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Thursday, September 6, 2018

The Good, the Bad + the Ugly

I can elaborate a little now. I've taken a deep breath. Punch is off to fifth grade, though with the heat advisory, the Montclair schools have early dismissal. So instead of stepping off her schoolbus at about 4 p.m., it will be 2:30 p.m.

Trish McEvoy eye shadow stick. LINK here.
  1. I got up early enough to iron [! I never iron] Punchy's blue and white striped cotton shirt, take a shower and apply makeup. Her shirt looked nice and crisp.
  2. I felt modern and chic rolling my new Trish McEvoy 24-Hour Eye Shadow and Liner [a creamy stick] over my eyelids. I bought it at the little Trish boutique on Jobs Lane in Southampton on my day trip. Tina [sp] at Trish suggested Crystal Heather, a smoky, grayish green. Using it takes me back to my day in the Hamptons, to foamy waves and swaying sea grass.
  3. I am sitting at Joyist [formerly Juice Culture], doing my work in streamlined, air-conditioned comfort. At 2 p.m., I will switch out of my slingback heels and back into fitness flip-flops to walk to the corner where Punchy's bus drops off.
  4. Important personal writing.
  5. I had the Greg, my favorite Joyist blend, made with Java Love coffee, unsweetened PB, raw cacao, etc. And I got it free [vs. $11], because it was my 10th punch on my rewards card!
  6. Sis is going to Cuba in October, leaving from Miami, and invited me as her guest for Oct. 27 to Oct. 30! Flight booked, car rented. I have a generous sister. We should have fun in and around Miami. I would like to visit my friend since kindergarten, Fritch, who retired to Florida, but it is a 3++ hour drive to her area. Maybe we can meet partway, not sure.
  7. Drinking cucumber water here.
  8. Wearing a black Diane Von Furstenberg peplum skirt and black sleeveless top, which I bought several years ago at Bergdorf's. The designer appeared that weeknight to sign books, but I arrived late, coming from NJ. So I missed meeting her, but this outfit is one of my best fashion investments.
  9. Put earrings on. It has been so beastly hot that even earrings felt like too much to wear. Love these ice-blue Ippolita sterling silver stud earrings Dan gave me on that snowy Christmas morning in Maine last year. [I flagged them on a wish list at the local jewelry store, me being me.]
  10. I rescheduled blood work, physical appointment [so I can get mammogram Rx], made a date for pedicure and brow tint. Getting hair cut Tuesday for first time in months.
  11. Hauled out some extra trash last night.
  12. Doing this writing, to process life and keep things in perspective.
  1. Going to appointment at pulmunologist tomorrow for CPAP machine checkup. I still hate that scary contraption. Ugh. Not a glamorous date.
  2. Dan is assembling a dresser he ordered from Stork for Punchy's bedroom. The other pink one fell apart and I put it out for bulky waste pickup. But he was doing this after 9 p.m., balancing it on her bed, when it was her bedtime on the night before first day of school. I was not a happy camper. At all. His last-minute habits are wearing on me. I know it's great that he ordered and is assembling the dresser, but....
  1. Dan and I had a fight front of Punch and my sitter/friend, Elaine. It was about Punch refusing to sit down and work on her summer packet for just 20 that ungodly heat. She ran out the front or back door, got on her bike, etc. It was a mess. At my Private Benjamin appointment, my therapist gave me very good advice. Have her do just 10 minutes, tell her when that will be ahead of time, etc. etc. I did that yesterday and it was successful. He helped me see that kids with ADHD and childhood trauma are not being defiant--they can't do it, rather than won't do it. For the won't do part--she would lose the play date with friend. But the can't do part--that part I understood better and was happy when she mastered 3 division problems. 
  2. Anger is ugly. Resentment is ugly. Pain is mostly ugly. 
  3. I haven't planned my foods well and have been haphazardly grabbing sweets, not good. Punch had a therapy appt. and then gymnastics team practice from 6 to 8 p.m. yesterday. I did get us both a healthy Joyist snack before gymnastics, and also dropped one off to Figgy, who was working across the street at Montclair Stationery. [I got them each a half-size PB + Joy bowl, with granola, fruit and bee pollen.] But then on the way home from practice, Punch wanted Taco Bell. Mistakes were made. I did make us sit and eat inside rather than in the car. The soft taco seemed fine, with meat, cheese, tomatoes, lettuce etc....but the Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Tacos were probably not a good idea. And then the killer was the four Cinnabon Delights Punch wanted to take in her lunchbox today. She ate one of the warm, doughy balls, filled with that white Cinnabon frosting. "It's too sweet," she said. "I don't want them." So guess who ate the other 3 instead of throwing them out?
  4. I noticed the words "senior discount" on the Taco Bell receipt--and a 50 cents saving for that. Great, just what I needed. I was happy to save the money but not to feel old.
I have to get back to work now. I hope you have a good day.


  1. My 2 cents

    There is more good than bad or ugly. Good for you!

    So glad you’re taking care of yourself physically even when it’s hard and not glamorous.

    I get your upset over your rage and the unseemly fight, but I think you had good reason to be upset about the poor timing of Dan’s DIY project. Sleep and scheduling are all-important to that little girl’s routine. Just want to validate that for you.

    Love the therapist’s input on Punch. Very helpful. Not sure where Dan landed on this, but I want to validate your setting limits.

    Ah, the food and the senior discount…all I can say is I hear your pain, sister!

    1. Oh, Kim, thanks for weighing in on my list and for your encouragement! Yes, dresser building crazy at that time, Dan put it aside last night and got back to it today, with Punchy helping, which she likes. It is a tall dresser and it’s almost finished. While I can also be last-minute, I think I tend to plan a bit better and this wackiness is wearing. Great, another NY Times Magazine assignment for Dan but he neglects a lot of other things. That said, he is pretty good about doing things w Punch. Xo to you.

  2. Wow, you’ve been busy! Getting AD kid thru school not easy. 10 min increments means you’re going to have to start early and it will take forever! Poor you, hope you can come up with a schoolwork plan that works for the three of you. Glad you had an outfit and jewelry and new makeup to make you feel good!

  3. Hang in there, girl.

    Even though it's upsetting to fight, there are also "OK" lessons to be learned from it. That people can fight, then continue loving each other. That people can fight because they're not communicating clearly. That people can fight because some things are just really hard.

    Remember, I come from a long line of people who jam everything inside, so I'm no expert. :/

    1. Hi Eileen! Thank you. That is true. Yes, my Irish mom seemed to bottle up her emotions. I seek the grace to not engage when baited by young or old. Xoxo