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Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Rough Day in the Fields

Just reaching out into cyberspace to check in with you.

Can you see my right hand, reaching? It's a hard-working, keyboard-punching, dishwashing hand...with two rings.....vintage gold w amethyst on my ring finger, silver heart band on the pinky...

Having a hard time with Punchy again.....yesterday I was writing here about dance leotards and tights, and now about ups and deep downs.....good heart, tough stuff...disrespect, defiance......though she is making some nice girlhood friendships, and that is golden....but when I step back and look at her behavior toward us, my heart is heavy.

It must be very complicated to be part of another family when your birth mom is raising a baby sister, who kind of looks like a mini-me version of your Brunetti self. [I spell Brunetti like that on purpose; it's another nickname I call Punch, with her shiny brown hair.]

I am not happy with the way I let my anger go, saying mean things. When it's after 10, and she's still roaming around, and left her clothes in the bathroom when getting into the shower at 9 after gymnastics and decides she needs a drink from the kitchen, something hot in a cup.....I just lose it sometimes....I have some ideas about what I can do differently, and one involves putting on my jacket and stepping outside to look up at the stars, even if it's bitter cold outside. Another involves getting back to yoga, and daily spiritual reading.

I am planning to get better at that. I am a work in progress.

I hope and pray. Pray and hope. And I also take steps to turn my wishes into actions.

Hope your day is going well. Peace & grace.

  • Two Montclair Literary Festival tickets to Joyce Carol Oates event with Sis, $40 each but ticket includes copy of the book. Check this link. The festival is another thing Montclair does right. $80.
  • Rushed dinner before meeting. Picked up sushi for Punch, turkey burger for me, vegan patties, clementines, broccoli salad and more at Kings, $28.85.

DAILY TOTAL: $108.85.


  1. Ok, got that hand, giving you a squeeze. Good news, protecting yourself is a duty here, because she needs to know people can’t take it out on the world when they are mad. Don’t put yourself in the same category, she’s baiting you. You can apologize for anything mean you said, and you should, but that doesn’t let her off the hook.

    Has her therapist recommended an outlet? Can she punch a pillow when she’s mad? Go outside and scream? Break sticks? A mad journal with a lock where she can write down how she feels? Once you give her an acceptable outlet for her feelings, give her a consequence for a bad one like yelling at you - no play dates for a week or wash windows every day (as I have said before, for these energetic types, I like active rather than passive consequences). And you can remind her that helping her control her temper is part of you loving her, because you don’t want the world to do it by ways like kicking her off the gymnastics team.

    Anyway, feel free to ignore all of this, but this post reminds me of how exhausting adolescence is, and how horrible our wonderful children can be. Hang in there, Alice.

  2. Liz, I really appreciate your insights. Taking your words to heart. Xxoo