No fair. I should be happy--Dan's pay finally came through to our bank account. That is a relief. Looming bills for mortgage, health insurance, heating oil--and our monthly IRS payment, automatically withdrawn every month.
But I was a nasty witch instead. As we know, money does not equate with happiness. But it does equate with a sigh of relief.
The day started late again. We have one bathroom. I was soaking my CPAP machine equipment in the sink, in hot water and shampoo, as the pulmonologist said.
Figgy needed the bathroom. I told her she had to wait. She said she needed the bathroom. I told her I had to let the tubing and mask soak for another minute. And so on.
Punch had some ants in her straw and freaked out. I freaked out at her. She spat on the floor and I screamed at her to clean it with Chlorox spray. She knocked the bottle down to the floor.
Then, for good measure, I screamed at Dan, too. First, he got mean to Punch because she was [again] looking at/touching the big bruise I got when I fell the other day. She meant well. But I asked her not to lift my nightie and look.
Then Sugar growled at Dan. Then Dan comforted Punch, listened to every word of the ant tragedy, and talked kindly to Figgy.
Meanwhile, I muttered, cursed and yelled loud enough so they all could hear me from the living room.
Now Dan is going to ShopRite again, because it is near the bank. We should only go once a week to the store because of the virus. Right? Some of my neighbors don't go at all, just shop online. Some go too often--for milk, etc. etc.
Sometimes, this new life feels like a s--- show. Really. I can't allow myself to think about the big picture It is just crazy. I am doing an online therapy appt this afternoon.
I am usually an optimist but this is a tough one.
I am going to shop online. I just got an $80 refund on my debit card for P's Learn to Skate lessons. How sad is that.
Sending love.
But I was a nasty witch instead. As we know, money does not equate with happiness. But it does equate with a sigh of relief.
The day started late again. We have one bathroom. I was soaking my CPAP machine equipment in the sink, in hot water and shampoo, as the pulmonologist said.
Figgy needed the bathroom. I told her she had to wait. She said she needed the bathroom. I told her I had to let the tubing and mask soak for another minute. And so on.
Punch had some ants in her straw and freaked out. I freaked out at her. She spat on the floor and I screamed at her to clean it with Chlorox spray. She knocked the bottle down to the floor.
Then, for good measure, I screamed at Dan, too. First, he got mean to Punch because she was [again] looking at/touching the big bruise I got when I fell the other day. She meant well. But I asked her not to lift my nightie and look.
Then Sugar growled at Dan. Then Dan comforted Punch, listened to every word of the ant tragedy, and talked kindly to Figgy.
Meanwhile, I muttered, cursed and yelled loud enough so they all could hear me from the living room.
Now Dan is going to ShopRite again, because it is near the bank. We should only go once a week to the store because of the virus. Right? Some of my neighbors don't go at all, just shop online. Some go too often--for milk, etc. etc.
Sometimes, this new life feels like a s--- show. Really. I can't allow myself to think about the big picture It is just crazy. I am doing an online therapy appt this afternoon.
I am usually an optimist but this is a tough one.
I am going to shop online. I just got an $80 refund on my debit card for P's Learn to Skate lessons. How sad is that.
Sending love.
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