10 Pink Candle Wishes

Sis and me in the water--young and not knowing what lies beneath, or what lies ahead.

Today I turn 51. I usually wish for health and happiness in broad strokes when I blow out the candles. Or I'll wish that I can be with these same people gathered around me again next year. But this time I'd like to wish for more. I'd like to be like my little girl self in the water, not knowing what's ahead but believing all good things are possible. To recapture that feeling of trust, freedom, security, steady footing, fun, lightness and merriment. If you have a lot, you wouldn't have to fill hollows by overeating, right? 

We were small, but our future was big as the pond and beyond. Random list:

1. Take better care of face and teeth. Tired of neglecting myself. Today my skin looked old in the salon mirror.
2. Send out more resumes, continue to pursue a job at a magazine in NYC. I miss that world. I'm sure of that. Have gotten some interest already, a positive sign. Will do my best to believe in myself and not lose confidence even if it takes a long time. It's a choppy economy out there.
3. Keep up with boot camp. It's been three years, and I really like the feeling of working out with Patsy and my great group of friends. If I do get a job, will have to switch to 5:15 A.M. class. That will be  hard, but I'm not willing to give up boot camp.
4. Respect myself and my body. Eat better. Don't surf through the riptide of sweets without a wetsuit and a sense of when to ride a wave, taking a chance on every cupcake and piece of chocolate that looks good. Don't snack so much after dinner. Balance healthy foods that I like with treats. I do appreciate good chocolate. I don't want to waste my time on ordinary junk. Eat more veggies and fruits. Just bought a bag of frozen blueberries.
5. Keep in better touch with my old friends. I've been slipping away. Send message in a bottle.
6. Make yoga a part of my life again. Have started already. Like the balance and perspective it gives me.
7. Keep blogging daily. I enjoy it [and thank you for reading it].
8. Write, write, write. Find a way to write a meaningful story or book--meaningful to me and to readers.
9. Listen. Am getting better at this. Keep pausing to hear what others say, and what they mean, rather than race on to my next sentence or thought.
10. Be an instrument of peace, as a mother, wife, sister and friend.

Good night.

TCOY

1. Boot camp in the soccer dome.
2. Walked Sug around block after boot camp, and then under the stars.
3. Salon blowout; Vamp Salon gives 20 percent off services for your birthday.
4. Stared down peanut butter pretzel sandwiches and Pepperidge Farm Milanos @ Kings. Had them in my hand, put them back on shelves.
5. H. and I worked out a new payment plan for looming bill, and I also faced another looming bill.
6. I kept my head when someone else lost his.