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Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The Long and Winding Road

So much I don't understand, and find painful to process or witness as a parent. Rites of passage, growing pains. Uncharted territory. Letting go. I guess it's no different when your toddler starts to walk. At first she needs to hold your hand, her tiny fingers nestled in your steady grip. Soon, she is off and running, a gleam in her eye. That's as it should be. She learned to stand on her own two feet. Your strong balance helped her.

Yet I search for answers, concrete facts, a map to the future, a perfect world where no one gets hurt. Childish, I guess. 

I'm grateful for what I know, understand and love. The beauty of a young friend confiding in me about a pregnancy, and the quiet parenting wisdom of another young woman [half my age?], mom to Punchy's pal. The loyalty of sisters--my own, plus Figgy and Punchy. The huge love of true friends.

The fIrst day in the garden. Teasing out damp and crunchy leaves that are choking plant roots, blocking beauty. Coaxing pansies into the dirt, patting it up around them. Eager to see their pretty faces in the sun. Scooping out a spot in the white metal planter for a ruffly new purple pansy--the blooms remind me of frilly little dresses.

Yet fretting that something seems to be eating the tulips, even as daffs and hyacinths are popping up all over.

So that's it. Beauty, beauty everywhere if we choose to look. Even in the face of some uncertainty. 

Good night.

TCOY
1. Boot camp in park. Beautiful day.
2. Gardening for about an hour.
3. Punchy and I walked back from town, about 25 minutes.


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