Day 1 After Sunday Breakdown, Feeling Jittery but Working

When I read Susan Cheever's memoir Note Found in a Bottle: My Life as a Drinker years back, I wished for reports from the gutter, the hard times, the lows. The moments when she struggled mightily, when she wallowed in the pain.

Maybe I just missed them.

Our home internet still off, so I dashed to Marcel on Valley and have a small cup of local wild mushroom and barley soup at my side at this community table. Plus: the free water, bread and butter on the side.

Must work and then meet Punchy's bus at 4 p.m.

I want to remember this feeling.....the aftermath of guilt and shame...the worries about damage I have done...hopes I have dashed, hurts I have inflicted. I don't want to revisit that painful, powerless anger.

My goal and my want is to model good behavior, to be a good person.

Signing off at 3:06 p.m.

Thanks for listening.

PLEASE NOTE: I decided to call my dark, vicious mood Sunday BREAKDOWN--though it wasn't officially a breakdown, I was definitely at a breaking point--so that I could use it as a starting point to study recovery from it.