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Monday, March 18, 2024

Is 8:30 p.m. Too Early for Bed?

No. It is not too early. 

I've rose at 7:45 a.m., made a big pot of Copper Cow Vietnamese vanilla coffee, cooked tortellini and sauce to put in Punchy's lunch tote, handled a visit from the plumber and his assistant about our broken garbage disposal, weathered high-octane stress and drama before Punch went to school, did my weekly DBT therapy on telehealth and worked on assignments and/or invoices for three clients. I didn't even take a nap. 


See Eloise at the top of the ladder? I love this illustration by Hilary Knight from the story of a little girl that I used to read to Figgy sometimes at bedtime. I will pretend I'm reading it to myself now. Image from here. 

Bonus points because I ate three healthy meals that included fruits and/or vegs instead of skittering into junk food.

B: Whipped cottage cheese with fresh strawberries.

L: Tuna on whole-grain with roasted red peppers on the side.

D: Leftover One-Pot Pasta with Ricotta and Lemon from the NY Times that I made last night with elbow macaroni and handfuls of watercress and fresh spinach as Melissa Clark suggests in the intro. Pronounced notes of fresh lemon juice and peel, red pepper flakes, fine Parmigiano Reggiano sourced from Van Hook Cheese & Grocery, a fancy purveyor in Montclair. (I bought a small wedge at Dry Goods Refillery on this end of town. It's fun to shop there, farm milk and eggs, solid shampoo bars, local products, tablets and glass spray bottles to make your own cleaning products instead of heaping more plastic in landfills.) 

Sometimes, on Cape Cod, especially when Figgy was little and we had put her on the tandem bike behind Dan's bike and pedaled for miles on the bike path, we would be exhausted and all three hit the hay by 8:30, once we got back home.  

We are not on the Cape with a young girl but we are Monday-night tired. Time to lower the blinds and rest. And now it's closing in on 9:30.

Good night.


Sunday, March 17, 2024

Tough Day

Image from here.

And the forecast calls for another tough one tomorrow. But winds and weather can change. And also, umbrellas and rain boots do exist.

And I am taking care of myself, so I don't slip and slide in the storm.

Good night.

Saturday, March 16, 2024

7 Dating & Sex Trends I Don't Understand

Ryan O'Neal and Ali MacGraw in "Love Story," the blockbuster 1970 film. Image from Lolo Loves Films blog. Thanks, Lolo. (The movie review site is run by two married critics who write about new Hollywood releases and classic cinema.)

I know, times change, and the young among us help the older face new realities and codes. 

When I was a teenager in 1975, and Title IX opened the door for girls like me to run on previously boys-only high school athletic teams, such as cross-country and spring track, my mother, born in New York City in 1924, expressed discomfort and disapproval.  

"You're running around in your underwear," she said. And we did run around the school track, and around town for practice, in our 1970s shorts.

My mother also protested when I got my ears pierced ("I'm not helping you turn the posts," she said, and she didn't) and when I walked to a beauty salon in Bergenfield to get my thick eyebrows tweezed and my long hair shaped into a more modern angled cut. I guess she did not want me to grow up, or was uncomfortable with a perceived sexual awakening (but trust me, I was pretty repressed, though had a few boyfriends).

Without acknowledging that any of the things I'm about to list have anything to do with the young people in my immediate circle, or in my sight line, I don't fully comprehend these seven social mores of 2024:

  1. Having sex with people with whom you are not in a committed relationship.
  2. Having sex with someone the first time you meet them.
  3. Having phone sex with someone you never met, except on the internet.
  4. Having unprotected sex.
  5. Having an open relationship in which both partners "can" have sex with other people. 
  6. Trying to get pregnant, or being open to the possibility, with the goal of trapping a man. Or vice versa, with the man wanting a pregnancy to trap a woman.
  7. Not realizing that when you are under the influence of a substance, you might make dumb or dangerous mistakes and not think clearly--such as having sex with someone you didn't intend to have sex with.
As I said, I was and regrettably still am repressed. If you've been my friend a while, you know that. And this list does not even address gender and sexual fluidity, which also confuses me sometimes. I support the rights of people to be that way and yet when it comes right down to it, if it is or were in my family, I am still confused. Please forgive me, I do not mean to be offensive.

And #1--I know people do that. And I guess if I were not in a marriage/committed relationship, and one didn't seem to be waiting around the corner, then I might want to do that, too. With protection. Not sure. And #2--I happen to know at least two mostly happy couples (one long-married, one younger) who did that. It does mystify me. I think having sex is a big deal and too big a deal for the first time you meet. I think it leaves you vulnerable and that you gave away too much too soon. But maybe just for high school or college people? I don't know.

And: I know it's sexist, but IDK if I would have the same worries about 1, 2 and 3 for a young man as I would for a young woman.....so is it about protecting a woman's virtue, or heart? Thinking she will lose too much and not recover? That she will pine after someone? Or is it a glaring double standard? 

Please LMK what you think. I know I can be judgy. Thank you.


Friday, March 15, 2024

Writing of Washing Machines

Today I wrote long and hard about the nuts and bolts of the best front-loading washing machines. By that I mean the superior models as judged by professional colleagues in thorough hands-on testing. The smartest front loaders, with intuitive sensors and features, apps to control cycles from the living room, etc. And just like wanting a new winter coat, wool sweater or dark chocolate brand when writing about those, I want one of these, too. Hell, all the ones the editors picked are excellent, but the four below stand out for me. I also love the color choices like Candy Apple Red, Champagne and Forest Green to elevate a drudge chore to glory. 

Our old white Whirlpool top-loader keeps powering on, so I will not be getting one of these any time soon. But when I see my sister's neatly stacked washer and dryer off the kitchen; my sister-in-law Eileen's handy setup of two big, nice-looking front loaders right off the bathroom; and my sister-in-law Martha's side by side machines, also near the bathroom, I want that. We have to walk from the top floor to the basement--4 flights of stairs--to get to our very basic laundry setup. We have lived in our home since 1994, a full 30 years this coming November. We inherited/purchased the previous owners' washer and dryer and had to replace both at least once in these three decades.

Noting sexism: Why do I say "Martha's" machines when she lives with her husband/my brother-in-law Pat? Laundry is not only a woman's domain anymore, not even in my house. And I think it's the technological advances, the bells and whistles, that are drawing more and more men into the laundry room. That and the fact that they need clean clothing and towels and their partners are busy living life, whether they work hard (chore and family wise and/or professionally) at home or away. 

LG WashTower in Candy Apple Red, about $2,500 or more. The washer and dryer are connected, with one control panel in the middle.

 Beko RecycledTub front-load washer. The eco tub is made from 60 recycled plastic bottles. In white, it costs about $1,400 online.

Miele washer in Lotus White with QuickIntenseWash cycle, over $2,000. I also want a pretty Miele canister vacuum in Curry Yellow. I've gone into the vacuum store on Valley Road to fawn over one. But it costs over $800. Maybe one day, bc I believe it will work and work and last and last. It will add fashion and beauty to our home, and our home will be cleaner.


GE Profile 2-in-1 Washer/Dryer Combo on sale on Amazon 
for under $2,000 but about $2,500 on GE.com. Take a look at this great video, featuring a model who is definitely not June Cleaver but very modern. Love it.

Speaking of wringers, wringing and wringing one's hands, I'm trying to keep my distance from teen drama. No amount of hand wringing and stress can stop it.

That's it, that's all. Good night, let's float off on bubbles to dreamland.

Thursday, March 14, 2024

New Yorker Film Screening in Tribeca

I drove our Toyota Camry through the Tunnel, past the Meatpacking District and over old cobblestone streets into hip Tribeca to see a movie called "Little Wing," released yesterday by the streaming service Paramount+. It is based on a New Yorker piece about a girl and her pigeons, a true story by the writer Susan Orlean (author of The Orchid Thief). I got to talk briefly to Ms. Orlean after. I plan to blog about this tomorrow. (Punch has no school for teacher conference. I aim to rise early and tackle my article, again, and then later, after other paid work, I can blog.)

I received the jolt of energy and intellectual and cultural sophistication I sought when I left New Jersey for New York City at 5 p.m. And I saw that glamorous skyline, the lights glittering in the dark like pocketfuls of jewels scattered across a kingdom.

Good night.

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Time to Eat Dinner, 9:41 p.m.

Tonight I'm making old-fashioned oats for Dan and me. We will have our bowlfuls with walnuts and fresh raspberries and baked apples and a little light (or table) cream. I have been working hard on an assignment. Dan wasn't feeling so great but feels better now so will have oat dinner, too.

I did walk around the block today and it felt good.

Good night.

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

Self-Care

I've been working for a long time to reclaim self-care. I somehow lost it when I became a mother, first gradually and then swiftly. Actually, it started sneakily when Dan and I were first "locked in" (a term used now to signify being in a committed relationship). But that is a story for another post.

Nice self-care today:

  • Walked around the block once.
  • Took a long bath with coconut oil and lavender. My body told me she needed a long soak, and I paid attention.
  • Listened to a novel on Kindle on our Alexa speaker. Letters from Eleanor Roosevelt  is set in the 1960s. I love it. "Alexa" read to me while I took a bath.
  • Ate turkey chili I made with peppers, tomatoes, onions, garlic, EVOO and of course beans. That was healthy but unfortunately, my other eating today was not. It was scattered and rangy. And the more out of gear, fearful, anxious or hurt I feel, the rangier it gets. Also, having party leftovers in our house is a trigger for me (cheese, crackers etc.) Tomorrow is another day.
  • Related to my rangy eating, got tired and took a nap.
  • Went to support group in town at 7 p.m. Helpful and inspiring. It was a long haul during the pandemic without in-person meetings.
  • Threw in some laundry.
Yes, even with all that, I did fit in some work.

Good night, sweethearts.