"Standing By Peaceful Waters"

This pretty little book was published in 1973. I picked it up and put it back a few times over the years in the Cape Cod gift shop--I can't remember if it was at the National Seashore Visitor Center or the Wellfleet Bay Wildlife Sanctuary. I've known their book inventories pretty well, with all that compounded vacation time to browse by peaceful waters. The colorful illustrated cover and the title called out to me, even if I never in my life make Beach Plum Jelly. I finally bought the soft cover one year and just rediscovered it on the bookshelves in my home office. 

With quiet time alone this week, I've been reading it. Wonderful work by Elizabeth Post Mirel (who had three young children at the time, including a baby) with graceful illustrations by Betty Fraser. I do want the kind of calm where I make a pocket of time to read Plum Crazy, because it evokes a place and a passion. Our long-time Cape Cod friends Rite and Bob picked beach plums. I don't know if I ever learned to recognize the fruit until now, but there may be some nearby here in Connecticut.

Sis flew to the Southwest (New Mexico) to travel with her Peace Corps friend and family and called on me to dog-sit her enchanting pup, Galena, for more than a week. I walk that girly at least three times a day, and never sleep past 8, because she doesn't.

I'm loving it. Sis still gets The New York Times paper edition delivered daily. I sat on the sofa drinking in the Sunday Styles section. I met my friend/magazine colleague Mary Kate, who lives nearby, for a lovely catch-up breakfast in Cos Cob (part of Greenwich). I went to Mass in Stamford, and then asked Google to find the nearest Whole Foods, so ended up in high-end Darien midday Sunday, where I felt like a fish out of moneyed water. Two striking blonde women (not together) wore little immaculate white pleated tennis skirts, in perfect contrast to their golden tans. They were coming from or going to the courts. Eyewear was on trend, as were baby carriers and the handsome young dads wearing them for weekend duty. Some branded local products (cacao pudding and whipped bath scrub) were tempting but both went the way of beautiful Ice Cream Tulip bulbs, named for their double ice-cream-cone like blooms, but over my budget. The children, for the most part, seemed well-mannered. The place was packed. Though the store was mostly stocked with the same products our Montclair Whole Foods carries, I felt an imbalance, shall we say, which I never feel in my diverse hometown.

Behold luscious Ice Cream Tulips. I want to add some to our spring garden. 

You can also find Strawberry Ice Cream Tulips (red) 

and Banana Ice Cream Tulips (yellow). 

If I revisit Darien Whole Foods, I will buy a bag of bulbs.

Galena and I have been marina-gazing here in Shippan Point, turning our faces to the birds flying over the harbor and crossing paths with baby deer and other dogs (Pluto, Milo, Bo, etc.). We went to a small beach and walked out on the fishing pier, which has evenly spaced holes in the railings to rest poles while prepping bait or waiting for a bite.

When we go out back on the short boardwalk path by tall feathery grass and a snow egret, Galena and I stop by the plaque that commemorates the trade between two chiefs of Onax Tribe No. 41, International Order of Red Men, and a white British captain in 1640 and memorialized for the city of Stamford in 1916. The original owners swapped this beauty for some coats, glasses, knives, kettles, wampum and a few other things. Read more about that here (excellent report by Chase Wright).

Harbors are calm, harbors are good, whether our paths are charted or uncharted. Which brings me to these beautiful lyrics from "Lake Marie," by John Prine, released in 1995:

We were standing

Standing by peaceful waters

Standing by peaceful waters.....

SPOKEN: Many years ago along the Illinois-Wisconsin Border

There was this Indian tribe

They found two babies in the woods

White babies

One of them was named Elizabeth

She was the fairer of the two

While the smaller and more fragile one was named Marie

Having never seen white girls before

And living on the two lakes known as the Twin Lakes

They named the larger and more beautiful Lake, Lake Elizabeth

And thus the smaller lake that was hidden from the highway

Became known forever as Lake Marie...

Onward now...

Correction: When I wrote this post on the fourth floor of the Shops at Hudson Yards in NYC yesterday, I put the wrong date for the tribal trade. It was 1640, not 1612. The plaque commemorates the original July 1, 1640 sale by American Indian Chiefs Ponus and Wascussue to British Capt. Nathaniel Turner, an agent for the New Haven Colony.

Article Archive: 19 Tips to Save Money on Pet Care

Photo from SoFi.com.

SEO (search engine optimization) writing, with live links, offers a writer very little opportunity to be colorful. My latest example: 19 Tips to Save Money on Pet Care. Every word counts when the goal is that readers Googling for info land on your client’s site. 

However, in honor of our sweet Sugar, who crossed over the rainbow bridge at age 16.75 years on December 30, I did tuck in pink satin bows here. :) Miss you, Sugar Maureen. May there be Thanksgiving turkey over the rainbow. Always in our hearts, Baby Poodel (we spell it el) Hurley. 

Fluffer forever.

13. Grooming Your Pet at Home

Shampoos, blowouts, and pink satin bows at the groomer are pricey, and keeping a curly dog coat from matting and knotting requires frequent visits. 

How Old Fluffer Is Doing with a Baby Cat

In answer to my cousin Lin who wondered (thanks, Lin) how Sug is doing with a kitten afoot, Sugar is doing fine.

She does sense that Skipper is spending A LOT of time in her room with tiny Nina. Sometimes I catch her looking wistfully up the stairs. I mean, Skip is spending every waking minute she can with her baby.

Louise at the Montclair Animal Shelter, who was very helpful, told us to keep Nina in Skip’s room for a few weeks, that it should be home base, esp with a 17 y.o. dog in the house.

Louise said Skippy should put the kitten crate down by Sug when she first walked in. Sug, who is mostly blind, immediately rose from her plaid dog bed to all fours to sniff the crate. She didn’t bark or even whimper. Diplomatic.

Nina, however, backed away from the grate Sug was peering into.

Everything seems okay, and I am grateful for that. 

To the Ocean to Reset

Beautiful Asbury Park image from tripsavvy.com.

Sis drove from Connecticut with her sweet little dog, Buttercup, and then Sug and I drove down to the Shore with them in Sis's Chevy Malibu.

The ocean is bigger than us, bigger than our worries. We went to Asbury Park, loved seeing old Convention Hall, the boardwalk, etc. Then past Ocean Grove, through Avon-by-the-Sea, Bradley Beach, Belmar, Spring Lake.

When we left Montclair, it was sunny and warm. By the time we pulled away from Spring Lake, it was gray and cold. The Spring Lake dream houses looked pretty, as always--perfect sky-blue and white, sea-blue and white, the landscaping manicured, with perfectly rounded shrubs, carefully edged lawns. No shaggy trims allowed.

Good night.

TCOY

1. Walked by ocean with Sis, Buttercup, Sug.
2. Talkied to Sis. "Look forward," she said.
3. Helpful phone call.
4. Women's group tonight. Grace. Gratitude. Goodness.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Booskerdoo Coffee + Baking Co. in Asbury Park--my new friend Linda's daughter and son--in-law roast their own beans and Amelia bakes and they now have 6 locations! Got large cold brew and bag of Black & Tan coffee beans, plus tip, about $16
• Italian food shop, Sis and I shared a chicken cutlet sandwich and I bought a box of whole ravioli with vegetable filling to bring home....it said non-dairy so I figured great, vegan for Figgy, but after I was gone, I saw whole egg on ingredient list, about $21.
• Spring Lake, bag of nice roasted cashews from chocolate shop, $3.

Total daily spend: $40.

Ongoing monthly spend as of Feb. 24: $1,996.30.

Avg daily spend: $83.18.

Monday, Monday

RANDOM PHOTOS OF SUGAR AND FIGGY FROM DAN'S COMPUTER. SUG IS 15 NOW!

Fig and Sug in 2017.

Neighbor Kiana (left) and Figgy up on Cape Cod in the snow with
 their matching snowy white dogs years ago.

Punch and I have been saying Hey Google, play John Lennon to our kitchen speaker yesterday and today in honor of John's December 8 death. Love his songs. Such a tragic ending.

A lot left to do on this busy Monday at home, so just a short post. Still want to Woolite [new verb] my tights for work.

TCOY

1. Caught up with Rach for coffee and steamed milk.
2. Private Benjamin appt. 
3. Doctor checkup, including routine bloodwork and urine sample.
4. Finally mailed Patsy's bday gift [early November]...on its way via slow mule  to Colorado now.....seems that way....
5. Started Christmas list, will retool it now.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET [and this doesn't count cost for therapy/"Private Benjamin" and specialist co-pay at doctor]

• Whole Foods, two fresh green holiday plant gifts to deliver, 1 lb. smoked salmon, bag of organic lemons, bag of Haas avocados, wedge of expensive cheese, 4 yogurts in little jars, large container mixed marinated olives from olive bar, $75.95.
• U.S. Post Office, padded mailing envelope and postage to mail bday gift to Pats, $15.69.
• CVS, 2 holiday gifts [buy one, get second half off, something Punch loves], large bag shelled pistachios on sale, $17.02.
• Bank fees, $6.10.
• Montclair parking meter, 35 cents.
• Grove Deli, lunch, 50-cent bag chips and 3 special gifts for my sibs [imported from Italy], plus $1 tip, $31.66. It's a treat our grandma Rosie brought us when we were children.
• 2 small dark chocolates, $1.26.

Money spent out of pocket: $148.03.

Ongoing monthly spend as of Dec. 9: $1,789.18.

Avg daily spend: $198.80. I am off to fine-tune my Christmas list.

_____________________________________________________

COMPARE TO 4 PRIOR MONTHS:

Total spend for November (30 days): $2,979.03. ⬆️

Average daily spend: $99.30. ⬆️

__________________________________________________________________

TOTAL SPEND FOR OCTOBER (31 DAYS): $2,495.36.🍎 ⬆️

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $80.49.🍎 ⬆️

_____________________________________________________________________

TOTAL SPEND FOR SEPTEMBER (30 DAYS): $2,214.43.🍎⬇️

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $73.81.🍎⬇️

___________________________________________________________________________

TOTAL SPEND FOR AUGUST (31 DAYS): $2,895.06. ⬆️

AUGUST AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $93.39.  ⬆️

Day 11, Drove Over Tapp* to See Sis

But I didn't drive alone...Sug came for the day to see her Auntie, too--who spoiled her with deli turkey and praise when she jumped up big curbs. We returned home 7:30 p.m.

By then, I was overhungry--the ride had taken over 1.5 hours--and I overate in kind of a frenzy. Triscuits, hummus, Cheddar quesadilla and entire 2.1 oz. Hu dark chocolate bar. Even if it is Paleo and free of refined sugar, that's a big portion of chocolate. Don't know if I can keep it around for a while; it's just that the pricey bars have been on sale at Kings.

*Although I like what I knew about former New York State Governor Mario Cuomo, I can't bring myself to call the newly built Tappan Zee Bridge the Governor Mario M. Cuomo Bridge. I will stick with the Tapp. 

TCOY

1. Seeing Sis, and walking Butter + Sugar by marina. We spotted a big, regal swan.
2. I didn't start with those crispy, dry fried noodles? you dip in duck sauce at the Chinese restaurant where I took Sis for lunch. "Earth people," like Sis, can eat just a few, but I cannot.
3. Healthy foods: vegs, brown rice, banana, whipped cottage cheese, multigrain tortillas. Not in that order.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• GASOLINE: $52 [includes $20 I forgot to add to Saturday].
• LUNCH, treated Sis at Chinese restaurant, includes $6 tip, $33.39.
• GROCERIES with Sis, whole-grain tortillas, light sour cream, shredded cheese, pound of salted butter, Shower to Shower powder, hummus, large container mascarpone [channeling my friend Nan], big box Triscuits, bouquet of flowers for Sis, pistachio creme ground coffee, $48.25. Stared down Mallomars, on sale--an old friend of mine. Or enemy?
• DAN going out to meet his pal for a beer just now. Gave him last $20 I had on hand.

TOTAL DAILY SPEND: $153.64.

RUNNING TOTAL FOR MONTH AS OF SEPTEMBER 10: $722.92.

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $72.29.

Big-ticket 🎟🎟 September spends:

🎟 Citarella at Hudson Yards, dinner; plus fresh fruit, etc. to bring home, $35.

🎟 Whole Foods, groceries, including present for Fig and big yellow mum plant, $84.

🎟 Whole Foods, groceries, including salmon for dinner and an iced coffee from the barista, $63.

🎟 ShopRite, groceries, laundry detergent etc., $50.

🎟 Sky Zone [worth it, Punchy went with her nice friends], $25.

🎟 Joyist, $29.

🎟 Kings, groceries, $46.

🎟 Piazza della Sole, comfy, high-end shoes, half-price, $90.
🎟 Gasoline, twice, $52.
🎟 Chinese lunch with Sis, $33.
🎟 Grocery shopping in Connecticut w Sis, $48.

Fretting about My Furball

I hope Sugar is ok. She is not herself. I took her for blood work today and will get the results tomorrow. She is 13 years old, 85 in dog years.

God bless my little angel. She has added so much fun and beauty and friendship to my life.

TCOY

1. Eating those fruits and vegs. Let's see, today it was salad with grilled shrimp; a plate of raw pepper; roasted eggplant; frozen dark cherries. 
2. Walked Sug twice.
3. Texted some friends. 

My Petite Fur BFF

Sugar standing by Punchy's artwork.

Sugar is French, so she's temperamental....inherently chic....has a bit of a self-satisfied air...our friend Michael calls her sucre, which I love!!! Anyway, I'm grateful for her. She's 10. And she's ours, for better or worse. We're not watching someone else's baby without the knowledge of how the story will end.

Life has been running away and I can't catch it...workwise, houseworkwise, friendwise, familywise, healthwise. That scares me and makes me feel anxious [or motionless], mournful, less than. I've barely spoken to Sis for days.

It helps to live in the moment. Today after school, I drove over and picked Punchy up at 3:35 instead of her taking the bus and getting home 40 minutes later......we went right to the playground, and she swung and climbed trees with a classmate......we stayed till 4:45, then picked up family dinner from Watchung Deli.....she loved her first Angry Dwarf sandwich, which we split.....I tried to talk to Figgy but got stonewalled....again....I smoothed out health insurance confusion....again....just another day in paradise, as the song goes.

Good night to you.

TCOY

1. I don't like to skip boot camp, but I did. I've had tubers for candy-striped and hot orange dahlias on my kitchen counter for weeks and couldn't get around to planting them. The weekends are a balance of doing things with Punch and being exhausted from doing them. So I stayed home from boot camp and weeded and gardened for an hour.
2. Fresh air and sunshine, while Punchy played after school. As she sat on a branch high up in an old tree, I asked her, Does the world look different from up there? It must be quite peaceful.

White Sugar

I love my dog. Right now Sugar is next to me in what I like to call "exhausted position," flopped on her side. She's so frisky and playful and smart--all 8.5 pounds of her. She liked going to the beach campfire, walking in the sand with Sis, and scampering by Great Pond at the end of the day. I don't know how she can stand this heat with that chic fur coat, but she does. Good night.

TCOY

1. Lots of ice water.
2. Veggies, via Chinese food [snowpeas and cabbage]. Sug wanted some, so I gave her some brown sauce on a little brown rice.
3. Nap.
4. Gardening.

Sugary Antidote to Stress

My fluff ball in my home office just now.

Sug.

She likes to rest on my neoprene Lilly Pulitzer laptop bag on my little wicker couch here in my sunroom office. I just took her around the block [which includes an uphill] when I got back from boot camp. I try to take her around the block whenever I come in from somewhere--before I take my coat off, I put hers on and out we go.

On that walk, she met Duke, a male Bichon Frise one year her senior. Being the runt of her litter--so much smaller than Duke--she gave him a run for his money with good barking. He just looked at her, matter-of-fact and dignified. She stood there in her red fleece plaid coat acting 10 times her size. She weighs under 10 pounds and fits nicely in the crook of your arm or on your lap.

I think there's a lesson to be learned. Sugar can act fearless, even though she's really scared inside. And though this brave bark has gotten her bitten once, it hasn't stopped her from thinking big, and acting as though the world exists for her to explore and prance proudly through--and that the bones buried in every yard, the apples on every tree in life, are hers for the taking.

My Fluffy Little Friend

I love Sug so much. This is an ode to her. She makes me smile a million times a day. Long may you fluff, little shaggy Sug. Thank you for following my every move. And right now, I'm about to park the car, so I know you'll be on full alert till I get back in.

Good night.

TCOY

1. Boot camp in the park. So hot, sweat was dripping in my eyes. 
2. Walked Sug around block once.
3. Worked well.
4. Took reading and nap break.
5. Faced music by keeping scheduled dr.'s appt. tomorrow. Was tempted to cancel. Still am.
6. Spinach salad and turkey burger for dinner.

Honeysuckle and Young Love

When I walked Sug at about 10 P.M., the air over near Jody's house was sweet and heavy with the intoxicating scent of honeysuckle spreading wild on the hill. And Sug and I came across two teens talking and walking quietly in the dark--of course, loudmouth Sug interrupted their privacy with loud barks.

It takes me back to the summer of 1977, when I had a summer boyfriend who walked me home at night. But that's another story.

Still, some things about youth, and summer, never really change. I hope they are the same 50 years from now, too,and 50 years after that.

Good night.

TCOY

1. Got some grilled artichokes at Italian market.
2. Stared down Nabisco Double Stuf Oreos and Nutter Butters @ CVS, on sale for 99 cents each.
3. Walked Sug around block once.
4. Made schedule of all we have to do before camp departure Sunday, from filling RXs to applying for child passport. [Sis and Don are toying with taking Figgy to Greece for a week in August!] The list making helped me feel in control and can-do.

Cupboard Bare

One little container lasts Sug for two nights, and costs 99 cents [80 cents on sale].

H. and I both write for some big publications. [He, Discover Magazine, for instance.] But we still haven't quite figured out how to manage our budget so we don't often run out of money between paychecks.

It hasn't always been this way. For the first eight and a half years of our marriage and for a few years more recently, I worked full-time on a payroll, with benefits. H. has always freelanced at home, except for a brief stint as a medical reporter in NYC when we first married--so we could both consistently save to buy a house, and get a mortgage.

I'm confident we can find a way to figure this out.

But tonight, we were down to eggs, milk, bread, veggie burgers, protein shakes and assorted odds and ends. We had organic greens, and frozen shrimp, and a tomato, so I made a salad and had cottage cheese on the side, with some pecans on top. It was only okay--more like a rummage sale. H. actually passed up my delightful repast in favor of a PB & J, a bowl of cereal and a yogurt, eaten later on.

I fished through a baggie of change to buy Sug a container of dog food and two Dannon plain cups. Total bill: $2.56.

Better fed days ahead, I just know it. Good night.

TCOY

1. Short bike ride with H. on beautiful day--along Norwood, around little Sunset Park and back again.
2. Walked Sug around block twice.
3. Shampooed, accessorized. 
4. Hung wash out to dry in sunshine [on wood drying rack].
5. Brought ice water on car ride.
6. Stared down Devil Dogs @ supermarket! And brownies, and refrigerated Toll House cookie dough.

Twin Furballs

Greg's and Meg's dog, Bailey, left, and our Sugar Maureen in Vermont.

I'm too tired to write much. I was busy supervising day 2 of our belongings moving back from storage. [H. supervised day 1.] The second truckload arrived at 14 Nassau today. Then I spent hours sorting through files here at the condo and throwing stuff out.

I have to say, it feels good to do all this. I was dreading it, but it feels positive and right.

My pal Sug was with me all day, patiently watching me clean out the basement, mow through piles of paper. She is in exhausted position now, too. But in Vermont on Saturday, she happily followed Bailey on a two-hour jaunt over the mountains and through the woods. She was also proudly modeling her monogrammed Lands' End winter coat from the Mernin family. Link: http://www.landsend.com/pp/DogSquallJacket~213057_-1.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::ADB&CM_MERCH=search-_-dog&origin=search. Long live the Bichon. Good night.


Photo by Figgy.

Off We Go

My BFF and I are about to drive off--we bear no resemblance to the woman and dog above.

The wind will be blowing through Sug's hair and mine as we head to the Cape, windows open on the Mernin minivan. Our curly hair will take a whipping. We're meeting H. and Figgy there. Those two lucky dogs just called me from the Goldenrod in York Beach--they're working their way from Maine to the Cape. The Goldenrod is known for its restaurant, ice cream and candy [thegoldenrod.com] and it's not far from a lighthouse I love.

All the Essentials
I've packed new Neutrogena sunscreen, Special K protein shakes [chocolate and vanilla], Oribe hair masque, apple crisp topping ingredients, clean sheets and towels. And books, magazines, sandals.

I've transplanted the marigolds, watered the petunias and dahlia, gotten the headlight fixed. Asked Brian here at the condo office to please water our plants. Driven to see Dad at the hospital and thank goodness, it was a good day. He was looking better, due to the I.V. fluids.

I've packed my work files too, because I have another deadline approaching, but that's okay, it's for a magazine I like about a topic I like [holiday already!] and I will just do or schedule some interviews.

Cold Feet
I will put my feet in the pond, stare out at the ocean, look for seals and drink iced coffee at the Hot Chocolate Sparrow. I will ride a bike. What I will not do for about six days is drive on crowded Route 4 East, park in a hospital garage, or motor back and forth to our house in Montclair via Route 3. But I am sure I will have some regrets while away that I can't be at the hospital. It is okay; others who love my Dad are going to see him.

Full trip of 300 miles ahead. Better throw the rest of my stuff in the car and go. ETA: 11:30 P.M.. If we're lucky.

Winds of Ill Will

Life can't be all 100 percent happy-happy. But it's the undercurrents of ill will that trouble me most--the ones that won't go away, even though they're not central to my life or happiness. They're like jellyfish tentacles that persist in reaching out and stinging me whenever I expose my skin.

Dogs Will Be Dogs
Here's what happened [and these neighbors don't read my blog, so I'm not worried]. Two years ago on a warm spring night, I was pushing little Punch in a stroller and holding Sug on her leash. It was something I did whenever I could--before or after work, or on days off--so they'd both get fresh air.

As we rounded the block, a neighborhood dog broke the stake she was chained to and came tearing at Sug, attacking her. [Sug and she had always barked viciously at each other when they passed on the street--so they had a history.] I had to release the stroller to bend down and separate the two, and lift Sug up...poor Punch was crying. I was crying. The next-door neighbor kindly came to the rescue, welcoming us into her home. The other dog owners were out. H. was in Chicago on business. Figgy and her best pal came racing around the block, like junior police officers on doggy patrol, to be sure Sug was okay.

She wasn't. She had a puncture wound. My friend Jean drove me to the animal hospital 30 minutes away while Figgy and her pal and pal's older sister watched Punch. Sug got surgery and came home, shaven, stiched up, bandaged around the middle. ["She looks like a Beanie Baby someone taped together," my nephew Will later observed.]

Money Changes Everything
The owner called and left us a message that night. He and I commuted together for years. And understand, our block is tight. We all go to the annual block party in early fall and the Halloween parade just for our kids. Many of us attend the same lavish Christmas party, New Year's Eve fête and Kentucky Derby party. This couple had held and rocked Punch for more than an hour at one of those parties.

He said how sorry he and his wife were and that they would of course pay for any vet bills. He said now they knew that a chain on a stake wasn't secure enough.

I called back the next day and said I appreciated that, because H. and I were trying hard to keep up with our bills, and we had just enough in our account to pay the mortgage that week.

"H. wants to report it to the police, but I told him I don't want him to," I said when the man dropped off the check that day. "I know how much your kids love your dog." I was afraid that reporting it meant the dog would be taken away.

"Well, I hope he doesn't," he said.

More Attacks
In the meanwhile, we heard that the dog had attacked two other dogs on the block before Sug, but the owners hadn't reported it. "They're very good about paying the vet bills," one dog owner told me. And around the same time, a rottweiler up the street jumped a fence and sunk its teeth into someone else and their dog. There were bloody tales circulating, and the neighbors were up in arms. The owners of the rottweiler ended up moving upstate pretty soon after. H. felt strongly that we had an obligation to file a report with the town. How would we feel, he reasoned, if the dog then attacked and hurt someone's baby or child, and we hadn't reported it?

Soon after, I had to take Sug to our regular vet to see how the wound was healing. A smart young intern noticed that it was infected. A sponge or gauze or something had been left inside, and the wound was healing over it. Left as it was, Sug would die. So they had to open up the wound and do surgery again. Out of the goodness of his heart, the generous, graying vet--a quiet legend in our town--didn't charge for that, if I remember correctly. It would have cost a lot.

Dog Catcher
I gather that what the town does when getting a report like this is send a letter to the family and then go visit them and the dog. If no human was attacked, the dog can stay.

And that's exactly what happened.

When I stop and think about it, I know H. is right. If it was our Sug who had been left unattended, broke her chain and attacked a dog while the dog owner was pushing a baby in a stroller, I would have been mortified and felt extremely guilty. I would have certainly understood if the other family had reported it to the town--especially once I found out that it was a warning, not a license to take the dog away.

Icy Stares
Yet I can't go to any neighborhood parties without the mom of that house giving me icy stares and the cold shoulder. She will completely ignore me when I say hello. Her husband told H. at Starbucks once that he did not want to fight and be enemies. But I guess his wife most certainly does. The other day, at the same barbecue for hours, they both ignored us.

It is so awkward. Isn't it hard to be hated, or is that just me?

What is the answer? Do I just have more growing up to do, a harder shell to develop? Armor that even Man o' War tentacles can't penetrate?

True Happiness: I Love My Fluffy Dust Mop

Sugar Maureen brings us so much happiness. She's six years old now [36 in doggy years], and we got her when Figgy was in third grade. She was so small that she fit in Figgy's sneaker. Now she has topped out at 10 pounds. She is a Bichon Frise; Miss Personality. That dog above is not Sug--that's Waiskai from dailypuppy.com--but looks exactly like her.

Top 10 Reasons I Adore Her

10. She hates for us to leave and loves when we come back.

9. She is afraid of things--a luggage cart or a garbage can lid can make her tremble--yet she plods forth and faces a challenge head on, which I personally find inspiring.

8. She leaps off the bed or couch in a single bound and into the kitchen at morning, noon or midnight if we are eating a piece of turkey or cheese.

7. She is kind to little Punch, even though little Punch has done naughty things like pull her tail or throw things at her. And when Punch was a newborn, Sug would race after me when the baby cried and I ran up to find out why. When Punch finally feel asleep, Sug would collapse in a furry heap of relief. I called her baby nurse.

6. She has adorable black licorice eyes.

5. She walks with pep in her step and pride in her stride.

4. She thinks she is 50 times bigger than she is, though no one is afraid of her.

3. She licks you if you cry.

2. She loves my Dad [runs right to his apartment door in the senior center], Sis [she now knows the word "Auntie,"] and Figgy's friends. If they come to the condo and don't say hi to her, she keeps yapping insistently until they do.

1. She loves to sleep at any and all hours of the day, so is therefore our perfect excuse to take yet another nap.

I love you, Sug, or [as Daddy calls you], Rough Tough Cream Puff. Long may you prance.