Can She Make a Cherry Pie, Charming Billy?*

Can you smell the cherry filling and the golden-brown butter dough?

It's 3:23 p.m. on Friday, a blue-sky summer day. Yesterday, Dan and I came over to this house, owned by his brother John in Belfast, Maine. Right on the coast. The bay is at the foot of the hill. 

We picked cherries (pie cherries, sour cherries) from his 40-year-old cherry tree and pitted them. It was an old-time chore, and it was nourishing. It felt like time stood still. 

Felt like we three were quilting together around a table, though not out on the prairie. We talked as we pitted dozens of pretty red globes. We talked about the milk delivered in glass bottles that the Hurleys got in Teaneck before their parents divorced, when money got tight. As the youngest of five brothers, Dan did not remember the milkbox. But as the oldest, John did.

Then today, when all of the Hurley brothers went for a walk at 1 p.m., I came back over to bake a cherry pie--actually two, since we picked enough for double.

John has turned to the recipe for Fresh Cherry Pie from The Joy of Cooking, a golden source for everything. But I used Melissa Clark's New York Times version from 2023, adding a little capful of almond extract.

This morning, I met my sister-in-law Sheila at the outdoor Belfast Farmers' Market (since 1980). I got a sweet-smelling sweet pea bouquet plus red and rainbow beets from New Beat Farm and a cucumber and cream cheese bagel sandwich from Spark Bagel (that had a very long line). Also: Hibiscus Rose Iced Tea, very good. I'm still nursing it.

I love these simple pleasures. For an extra $2, I purchased a small mason jar to ferry the sweet peas back to New Jersey tomorrow.

The jury is still out on how the pie will taste. The crust looks a bit too browned and hard but oh well. Melissa Clark suggests serving with whipped cream or ice cream.

I hope you can breathe in some simple joys. And I hope I can continue to do so once I return home.

*From an old English nursery song. Song lyrics here.

Drinking in Maine Peace

Dan, Figgy and I are up in Maine. Punch didn't want to join us, and things didn't exactly go well when we forced her to come last summer. We can't leave our teen at home alone, so Florida Orange (our goddaughter) and her husband have Punch visiting down in Florida. Very nice. They have a sweet new baby girl and Punch loves tropical climates and babies, so it's a good fit. She flew down from Newark Airport and is away the same week we are. We are house- and cat-sitting for dear family here, so that's lucky, and nice, too.

Some notes of peace and joy:

• Beautiful breeze in the trees.
• Fun ride up with Figgy. But by the end, 10 p.m. ish, she said Mom, you talk constantly. Which I do. I'm driving back with Dan Tuesday. Fig has to leave Monday for work.
• Taking care of Pat and Martha's garden. It is so lovely and fertile, bursting with orange, yellow, rose-red, geranium-pink. I wish our gardens were like this. The Maine coast just seems perfect for bright, colorful blooms.
• Lovable fat cat.
• Boats in the harbor.
• Book in my hand.
• Vermont yogurt for breakfast.
• Good coffee from Downshift in Belfast (espresso blend).
• We plan a day to walk and sightsee at Acadia National Park.
• Dan went to the strawberry farm this morning but the red gems were all picked by 11 a.m. We hope to go back Monday or Tuesday, 8 a.m.
• My mother-in-law came to the BBQ. Her daughter rented a van and her sons helped her in, and drove her back. She is 95 and even though she is forgetting a lot, she is remembering some things, too. Like my name, Alice. She also liked looking at the pond and the trees and feeling the breeze.
• Hotdogs and burgers on the grill, cooked by Mike. Grey Poupon mustard.
• Quiet time to process my brother's death. It was June 11, so quick and so recent. I have many thoughts about this, especially that John was estranged from us for decades and at the end of his life, we were involved in the most intimate details, even in cleaning out his apartment in the East Village. He told me last year that he had started to bake desserts weekly and was enjoying it. Going through his cabinets--vanilla extract, cake mix, boxes of brown sugar, cans of frosting. It all felt intimate, all of it. Not just his clothing and photos and letters but also his groceries, the chicken in the freezer, the can of San Marzano tomatoes I brought him January 1. The balsamic vinegar, the boxes of pasta.
• The walking bridge here in Belfast, so lovely. Taking strides by people on the side who hold fishing poles over the bay.

I'm trying to stay in the moment. We have been in touch with Florida Orange and Punch.....they seem good, too. Plus F.O. and husband have a big dog! Punch loves dogs. Good night.

Note from the Farmhouse: Thanksgiving In Maine

Saturday sunset, 4:11 p.m., Curtis Light in Camden, on the far right. I went lighthouse-chasing while Dan and his brothers took a walk. Fig saw a friend, and Spice was with her cousin and aunt.

View from the 100+-year-old farmhouse in Belfast, where we are staying. Pat and Martha bought it and made it into an amazing Airbnb.

At the Lost Kitchen in Freedom, Maine, on Friday.

                                          Cheese board, hot cider. See The Lost Kitchen.

Well, my fingertips have not touched this keyboard for days, despite my best intentions. Dan and I arrived by about 8 p.m. Wednesday to a Hannaford supermarket in Belfast stripped clean of every can of spray whipped cream, every drop of heavy cream, and even Cool Whip, even frozen vegan whip, everything. (The one thing I didn't hunt down was Dream Whip, sold in boxes.) We searched in desperation for the required pumpkin pie adornment. No one wants naked pie. But apparently, Thanksgiving brings on a dairy stampede. Belfast Variety, open 365 days a year, with gas pumps, had two tall cans of Oakhurst sweetened whipped cream and we went there first, so I got one. Luckily, as in other years, my sister-in-law Martha snapped up a quart of pure whipping cream before the shelves were bare.

I knew we should have gotten it in Montclair but Dan is always in too big a rush to start the long drive. Fortunately, I got a tub of dairy-free CocoWhip at Whole Foods West Orange on Tuesday to cobble together a vegan no-bake pie for Figgy.

It is late, already 10:45 p.m. I've been off-kilter. I ate too many sweets and probably should not have made Fig that pie, but rather bought a vegan dessert. The cobbled-together dessert had a graham cracker crust, vegan mini marshmallows, chocolate chips, peanut butter and that fluffy CocoWhip.

But would an alcoholic make spiked sangria? I was tempted and succumbed. Sugar addict layering sugary things. Nope, not good. 

Today is a new day.

We were all planning to drive back today, Sunday, but Dan really wanted to do this family hike at Camden Hills State Park, where they walked to a cabin and, incidentally, made s'mores and hotdogs. It was a big group, and sounds refreshing, but I can't hike a mountain. I get too tired. So I walked over the Belfast bridge in the bay, and that was pretty. Figgy drove Spice home to Montclair so they can go to work and school tomorrow. 

We have tasks and packing in the morning, so I better resort to a list here. I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.

• Sitting with Figgy as she crocheted on a couch in the farmhouse. Hearing everyone compliment her on the sky-blue top and knee-length sweater coat she had made, and wore Thursday. I really don't want to write here about Spice. Things are still very rough around the edges. How much is enough? How much is too much? Questions from a battle-weary mother.
• Seeing our big family this long weekend. Nieces, nephews, nephew's adorable little boy, 100 percent Hurley, with that brown hair and mischievous spirit. Girlfriends, husbands. Dan's four brothers (John, Mike, Dave, Pat), their wives (Therese, Sheila, Martha). My mother-in-law! Four of her sons carried her into our car and she stayed in her wheelchair  for the holiday meal. Her daughter stuck close by her side.
• The turkey James carved perfectly, rich gravy, Martha's great salad with beets and apples, Ian's homemade rosemary dinner rolls! 
• The Lost Kitchen in Freedom, Maine. My niece Mariah told me about it on Thanksgiving. The holiday shops were open Friday and Saturday. Mariah thought I would like it. She was right. So did Spice. I got my first Erin French cookbook, with beautiful photos, stories and recipes; Maine taper candles; the restaurant's coffee bean blend from Deer Isle, etc. How could I not have known about this, and about Erin? She and her husband were outside, stoking fire pits and helping us find a seat. It was an experience to remember.
• Drove by the first house in Camden where poet Edna St. Vincent Millay lived as a girl. Did not want to be a stalker, and house number (100) was not visible. 
• Curtis Point Lighthouse, so lovely with its green beacon. Good view from the overlook.
• The winter star was lit atop Mount Battie. I saw it on my 6 p.m. drive back to Belfast.
• The lavender store, which I always love, and the Swans Island shop, with blankets and scarves, both in Camden. Beautiful. 
• The Christmas tree by the Belfast Post Office is shining bright. The tree lighting was yesterday.
• Walk over the Belfast bridge. Chilly but pretty.
• Cup of cinnamon-orange tea with my niece Leah today in her Dad's comfy High Street kitchen. Long talk. We've grown closer.

 

"Toyota Universe" and #Onceinabluemoon

Image from and info at https://starwalk.space/fr/news/full-blue-moon*.

Hi from the Toyota service center on Route 46 East in Little Falls, New Jersey.

I'm happy to be here for a noon appointment on a summer Wednesday because

A. It's our first free maintenance check and oil change (under warranty) on the preowned (formerly leased only) RAV4 we bought this spring. It feels good to take care of yourself and of your car. This is fun, especially when the service, with 21-point check, is already paid for, though of course you get ripped off with inflated interest rates and bloated warranty protection charges, etc. when you sign the contract. Next time, if and when there is a next time, I will be far more present and careful. Dan and I did our best. I am grateful for our car.

B. I'm in a workspace away from home, hooray, sitting at a cubicle with a big desktop computer. Not seeing dustballs on carpet, dishes to wash, faded orange echinacea to deadhead in the garden, never mind my laptop and notepads of interview notes, stories I want to pitch. It's just the service area holding room, but it takes me back to all the offices I worked in--at clean desks with other people committed to a common, branded purpose. In this case, it's Toyota technicians and service advisors (shoutout to my man Luis) and of course, the cashier, but I might as well be back at the Twin-Boro News, The Daily Targum at Rutgers, The Nation summer internship. Woman's Day, Seventeen, Good Housekeeping, Cigar Aficionado or Strategic Communications, my last NYC staff job. Or the Hot Chocolate Sparrow on Cape Cod or Joyist, the fabulous smoothie place that thrived in Montclair before the pandemic shuttered it. I loved working on my Rose Gold laptop there, while the Joyist pros buzzed up healthy "Natalie" pink drinks and peanut-butter fueled "Lukes," salads and bowls in that sleek, modern space. All of us--we were industrious and working for a greater cause, witnesses to one another's efficiency and effort. That's what you lose when you work alone at home.

Nissan has free Danishes, a fellow Toyota owner said to several of us near the free coffee machine. (No pastries or bagels there at noon, just vending machines.) We all like to convene and kibitz with other people.

I've been organizing my sunroom office for over a month now. I've filled seven grocery totes or more with books I needed, wanted, loved and in many cases never even cracked open. Pricey cookbooks, including one all about making jam, a double I bought of a Giada fresh Italian bible, an extra Michael Pollan copy. I removed a small bookcase from my sunroom office to make space. That's how many books I have released. I've been unearthing beautiful wood shelves and polishing them with my little bottle of luxury Diptyque leather and wood lotion, featured in my assignment for Good Housekeeping, 10 Best Furniture Polishes of 2024, Tested by Cleaning Experts. Anything French and chic is a win in my book.

SURPRISE NEW ENGLAND LOBSTER ROLL AND SUMMER BLUE MOON!!!!!

Sis told me Sunday about the blue moon coming Monday. It doesn't look blue, just perfectly full, bright, textured and seen. Memorable. Craters, storybook dimensions. So clear and close, you wish to pluck it from the sky.

So Monday at 5 p.m., I drove to Connecticut (usually one-hour drive but took 1 hr. 20 minutes due to rush hour and downpours) to see the #onceinabluemoon Supermoon with her. It was stupendous. 

I can see little blue men up there, Sis joked, pausing to look through her binoculars while we walked her dog, Galena. 

Add to that a lobster roll that rivals the best I ever had, maybe 30 years ago in Kennebunkport, Maine with Dan pre-kids or the one we loved at McLoon's Lobster Shack with Spice/Spike more recently. This roll was a special at Tomato Tomato, a pizza/Italian restaurant right down the street from Sis in Stamford. Big, succulent "local" lobster pieces. Melted butter for dipping. Toasted, charred, buttered bun with perfect grill marks. It was an appetizer, and cost $25, but it was ample. Sis treated. I only paid a little. 

And the dazzling Democratic National Convention in Chicago!!!!!!! Michelle and Barack Obama. JFK's grandson, Jack Schlossberg (newly minted contributer to Vogue). Oprah. Nancy Pelosi. President Bill Clinton. Young poet Amanda Gorman. So much. So much hope.

Good night.

*

*In French from that site: 

Qu'est-ce qu'une Lune bleue ?

L'origine du nom est encore incertaine. Il est utilisé depuis longtemps ; certains le font remonter à 400 ans, lorsque cela signifiait quelque chose qui ne pouvait jamais se produire (d'où l'expression anglaise "once in a Blue Moon").

Une Lune bleue peut être saisonnière et calendaire. Examinons de plus près chaque définition.

translated from French: 

What is a Blue Moon?

The origin of the name is still uncertain. It has been used for a long time; some date it back 400 years, when it meant something that could never happen (hence the English expression "once in a Blue Moon").

A Blue Moon can be seasonal and calendar. Let's take a closer look at each definition.

As the Sand Passed Through the Hourglass

Note the little bulbs on the brown algae. Fig and I squeezed them to release a beauty treatment to work through our hair. After all, they sell seaweed shampoo at the store.

The surf was rough in Maine--I mean crashing and scary with Punch. Like, get back on the beach, this shark-infested water could kill you. I won't go into details. And it continued to be terrorizing last night, upon return at 11 p.m., and today.

If future me wants to remember the pain and fear (oh, yeah, that's what happened that trip), my code words are Fireside Inn, soap in can and bus ticket.

But there were still some nice moments amidst the fear and danger:

1. The wedding party at Mere Point for Leah and Greg.
2. Drive to Rockport with Figgy to my niece Anna's tiny house in the woods, built by her Dad. Fig had never been there. Anna served us coffee and fruit and Grape-Nuts with a high-protein yogurt I plan to buy. Icelandic, I think, and lemon-flavored without a lot of sugar. It was lovely to see her, and see the girls together.
3. A leisurely stop by the rocky coast to explore with my firstborn and a visit to Dot's Market in Lincolnville Beach, a pricey gourmet shop with a great edit. No, no, I did not notice any chocolate peanut butter cupcakes with fat caps of swirled icing. Nope.
4. Seeing my sisters-in-law (all four). That counts Therese, with a flower in her hair; Sheila, natural beauty and gifted cook (she filled the grill with hotdogs, burgers, chicken and street corn and managed it all); Martha, intellectual, funny, fit, blonde, insightful; and Eileen, Dan's capable, professional, stylish little sister, who moved up to Maine with my mother-in-law as a young girl.
5. Biking over the historic Belfast bridge, and then walking it another day when Fig roller-skated over the span.
6. Small talk with strangers on the bridge about dogs and fishing.
7. July Fourth cookout. Nice hotdog on grilled bun, homemade potato salad.
8. Seeing our nephews' little children--and the Dads we knew as boys.
9. Belfast Co-op.
10. Chamomile flowers. I bought a plant for Anna and one to plant here at home.
11. Baking a Blueberry Galette from a Down East-published book found in Southern Maine with Nancy. The crust was raggedy, hard and off-kilter, I piled the berries too high and the juice ran all over the cookie sheet instead of staying in the galette but it still tasted good. I tried. My life was/is raggedy, hard and off-kilter, so why shouldn't the galette be? Still, I liked gathering ingredients and baking in my sister-in-law Martha's yellow kitchen.
12. Visiting dear Leah at her house on my way home to NJ. Seeing her beautiful pocket gardens and paint colors and home office and pet bunny for the kids.
13. Seaweed hair treatment. Fig and I squeezed the clear juice from the bulbs on seaweed/kelp found in Belfast. Snap, squeeze, finger-comb through hair. We like doing things like that.
14. Cocktails (I had sun tea) at Pat and Martha's neighbors' lovely old farmhouse. Smoked Gouda, sliced baby cucumber from the garden and juicy little strawberries, the fruitful gems of summer in Maine.

I was going to say sorry for another sad sap post but it's not my fault, so can't say sorry.

That's it. The pain is real but there was some beauty. And while I see that 14 might seem like a high tally, in my mind, it did not/could not cancel out even that one first night in a Maine hotel.

Hope on Two Wheels

Please excuse any typos. I again misplaced my reading glasses, this time perhaps at the Dockside Restaurant in Belfast at dinner last night. I can't go back to check yet because it is closed today (Monday).

Our hotel has bicycles all ready and waiting, tires pumped full and hard. Bells on the handlebars, a basket, helmet and lock for each bike. Guests can use them for free. I plan to bike Route 1A over to the old foot bridge into Belfast. I think it will lift my spirit, which has been lagging and dragging since Saturday night due to sister squabbles, mean words, tight quarters, four of us in the hotel room. Toxic times and scary stuff. Today is a good window to go because the weather is sunny and sweet, Figgy went shopping in town, Dan drove in to see his Mom and his bros, and Punchy's cousin, Izzy, took her to the beach.

Meanwhile, some photos:

My nuclear family with our nephew's son, Wilder, at Leah and Greg's wedding party Saturday at Mere Point, Maine. The wedding couple, so much to love in each other, and the world loves them back. The abundant mason jars of farm-grown pink peonies and sweet peas, yellow snapdragons--so perfect. Excellent coffee (it was chilly and overcast), tapas and an ice cream truck from Stone Fox Farm Creamery.

Our niece Anna, who was a flower girl in our wedding 33 years ago, and Figgy.

River Bridge view with fairy lights, pocket-size ice cream shop in Camden.

View from our hotel.

I pray/aspire to stop simmering in fear and resentment. To put them down. To trust God to watch over and guide me and the ones I hold close.

"We don't struggle," my longtime friend reminded me.

Okay. The view is pretty here.

I've been sitting here in the lobby, went on a 10 a.m. Zoom support group on my phone. Figgy said she gathered shells for me yesterday and left them on the hotel dresser. Will go and see them now.

Hand to Heart, Fingers to Keyboard in a Maine Kitchen

It's a wonderful life in Belfast. The tree lighting and visit from Santa Saturday at 5 p.m. 

at Post Office Square. Photo by Eric Sanders, a friend of Santa's.

"Santa is very popular," Eric wrote when he posted this epic photo on Facebook. 

Thank you, Eric, for this remarkable visual memory.

My friend Shirley and I try to text each other three gratitudes every morning. As life takes the wheel, and we allow that, we forget to stop and text. Today I will do it again.

But now, sitting at the kitchen island in the Mill House, a wonderful place built by my talented brother-in-law, I want to dash off a list before we clean up and scoot home, after seeing Dan's mother first.

Graces

1. Figgy. I hugged Fig, encircling her closely in my arms, at the Belfast tree lighting yesterday. This is a rarity lately, that hug. Her belted wool coat against my worn Tory Burch camel sweater. She is so petite compared to my 5'9". Funny how it happens that way. (Punchy stayed with Romeo and his family back in NJ and had a big Thanksgiving there.)
2. Abraham's Creamery. Wow, the jug of small-batch pumpkin kefir from the Belfast Co-op. That's why I love shopping there, the farm finds. Ingredients: Fresh goat milk, Maine organic maple syrup, pumpkin, pumpkin pie spice and cultures. It is so good. I see they make one with wild Maine blueberries when in season. Triple yum.
3. (I have to speed up now.) Bar Harbor. The long and rolling road to get there. Want to go back to Window Panes, where I bought a favorite tablecloth decades ago.
4. Belfast. Old-time charm, lampposts on the lane, strings of Christmas lights. Imagine all the important, loving, heart-warming and -wrenching letters and packages sent and received from that historic P.O. during wartime, peace time, Christmastime.
5. Mrs. Claus. Mingling at the tree lighting in her white knit poncho, long dress, red cap (Diane). Mrs. C. is always a delightful standby, kind and sweet.
6. Santa and Buddy the Elf. Two Hurley brothers arriving on fire engine, possibly M (it's a secret) and my Dan.
7. Thanksgiving. At Martha and Pat's, 24 people for dinner, though all could not fit at the table. (Overflow at kitchen island and in living room.) Ian's tender dinner rolls made from his mother's recipe, Sheila's turkey and gravy, Martha's and Erin's pumpkin pies, whipped cream by Leah, Pat's coffee.
8. This beautiful view. A pond, trees, birds, farmland. Hard to leave, as usual.

But we must.

In Maine, Melancholy, Family, Blueberries & the Mountaintop

                    The movie "Peyton Place" was filmed in and around Belfast and Camden. Image from here.

Dan and I arrived Wednesday at 5:30 p.m., in time for an event to celebrate his brother David Hurley's 34-foot "Sturgeon" mural, newly mounted near Penobscot Bay in Belfast. 

The Hurley family is large, and earned gold-star attendance, from Mary, the matriarch, almost 94, to her sons (missing Patrick only), daughter, two granddaughters. Of course, Dave's wife, Sheila, their three smart, handsome grown sons and one lovely daughter-in-law. (Mary has six other grandchildren who were not there.)

Dave is a gifted artist. This is important public art. The sturgeon is steeped in history and the long Native American name for the river here relates to the fish. Dave met with the historian from the Penobscot Nation, and brought in a father and son from the Burnurwurbskek Singers, an indigenous drumming and singing group. Mary and I, sitting arm to arm in the crowd, loved the drumbeat.

The refreshments were clever: Homemade peanut butter, mini chocolate chip and other flavor cookies rolled and cut into large fish shapes, almost 6 inches long. Bowls of red Swedish Fish and Goldfish crackers. (The snacks reminded me of the Smarties candy I brought for Dan's Smarter book signing in Montclair. )

But soon after, the melancholy set in. The blues.

Tired, mopey, feeling sorry for myself. More coffee. Why bother? Look how I'm aging. Look how we are all aging. I don't like my hair color; it's too brown. My hair is not as full. My mother-in-law is in her nineties. Look, look how life gets in the end. So many days, she doesn't feel good. See how a woman ages. I never saw my own mother old like this. It's scary.

We won't be here forever. It's sad. I'm low-energy. I used to hike and walk much farther and faster.  Now, I'm just too tired. I might as well take a morning nap and let Dan go alone to watch that cardboard boat race. Why should I go? I don't want to laugh.

I was 26 on my first visit to Maine. Reverse the numbers for my age now.

And this is my first trip up in 28 years that did not include one or both girls. Figgy is working at her new job at the university and Skippy chose to be with her boyfriend and his Dad in Pennsylvania. I missed them both. I was glad for the liberty to focus on just Dan's and my plans but sad for the way it feels to be an empty nester on vacation. Seeing young Figgy in my mind's eye on a mountaintop, scrambling for blueberries like the bear cub in Blueberries for Sal and Skippy, age 7, walking in and around the Camden shops with me. I am also sad about growing older, having some health problems and worries.

Tomorrow morning, after coffee with family, we are heading to Mary's to say goodbye and then drive back home. 

I did hit some trusty Maine high notes here though, with and without Dan:

• Tiny wild Blue Barrens Farm blueberries at the Belfast Co-op, about $5.50 for a pint. So many, and so mini. 
• Quick pop into the Glendarragh Farm Lavender Store on Main Street in Camden. Beautiful hair clips, lavender honey, wool throws and more. I bought a glass bottle of lavender hand soap for my sister-in-law and a tube of hand cream to soothe myself at bedtime.
• Two brothers (Dan and John) and I drove up the auto road to Mount Battie in Camden Hills State Park. I will never, ever tire of that view of the Camden cove, or of Edna St. Vincent Millay's lyric words on the plaque up there. She lived in Camden and I want to explore some of her papers one day in the Camden Public Library*.
• Walk on the rail trail this evening. Pretty.
• View of the bay from our first two nights at Fireside Inn & Suites in Belfast. Rolling hill, atmospheric weather.
• Family dinners with Pat and Martha, who hosted us for three more nights. :)
• Mike took Dan and me out for a boat ride in an old motorboat Pat bought over 30 years ago. It was nice.
• Young's Lobster Pound.

*Per Wikipedia: Camden Public Library also shares Mt. Battie's view. It has the first couplets of "Renascence" inscribed along the perimeter of a large skylight: "All I could see from where I stood / Was three long mountains and a wood; / I turned and looked another way, / And saw three islands in a bay."^[71] The library's Walsh History Center collection contains the scrapbooks created by Millay's high-school friend, Corinne Sawyer, as well as photos, letters, newspaper clippings, and other ephemera.

Sit Still & Write: Maine Memories

I wrote this after Maine trip (we returned July 31). Clicking “publish" now. A busy summer.

Skipper and me at Sand Beach in Acadia National Park, Saturday, 7.30.22. We zipped in and out for a couple hours. It was a 1.5 hour ride each way and a $30 entrance fee but worth every penny to show her the marvels of Thunder Hole and Sand Beach. Next time, we will explore more. (Figgy had already flown back to Florida after two weeks in Montclair and Maine.)

Mima (nickname), age 61, with Figgy, 26, and Skippy, 15, at the wedding of their cousin Chris to Marie-Camille in Belfast, Maine, Saturday, 7.23.22.

Beautiful ladies in blue. My sister-in-law Martha, Figgy, Skipper and Angel.

With Dan at McLoon’s Lobster Shack in Spruce Head, Maine. Excellent lobster roll with a heap of tender ocean riches, and the setting was a tonic.  

Still sliding today in anxiety and worry....which of course does nothing to move life’s compass in the right direction (toward calm and acceptance)...though Skipper and I are doing a DBT (hands-on therapy skills) program for mothers and daughters...all adolescent teen girls....the girls are in one room with a therapist covering the same material we cover with a therapist in our room. I have heard about DBT’s value for years and grateful we are doing it. It is a course of about six months, in person, two nights a week for 1.5 hours each time.

I think it is helping and will help.

Filling My Lungs at Mount Battie

We drove up the auto road in Camden Hills State Park. I will never, ever, ever, EVER tire of that jewel-box view, from the mountaintop, of Camden’s cove and outer islands. White sailboats tipping on blue water, tall church steeples--and the words of poet Edna St. Vincent Millay, the redhead raised in town.

Skipper scrambled down the side of the mountain in her cuffed blue denim shorts, black midriff, black sneakers. She was out of sight for maybe 15 minutes, but I trusted she would be okay, and there she came, climbing back up over the boulders. She is a strong young woman.

While she was gone, I sat and breathed, deep breaths. Serenity Prayer. And birthday wishes flung to a friend.

But I am tired now, and it’s not even eight o’clock--I hope not too tired to wash my face and take off my mascara.

Good night to you. Tomorrow we head to Acadia, where our dear NYC friends Celia and Greg just happen to be visiting.

Maine Bound

I haven’t seen my mother-in-law, Mary, and the rest of Dan’s big family since Thanksgiving 2019--almost two years. The pandemic, and other challenges, presented road blocks. I have seen my brother-in-law Mike Hurley and nephew Chris Hurley (with fiancee, MC) when they were passing through on their travels....

Dan, Skippy and I looking forward....

I Sent My Family to Maine without Me

Greetings from Montclair. Vintage postcard from HERE.

I think it's taken me a while to show up here because first, I made that decision in the post title and second, I had to get used to it. 

Things were in too much crisis with Punch last week for me to go in our small Camry--packed to the roof with the four of us and all of our things--for 9 hours minimum drive each way. Our personalities [mine and Punchy's] were clashing a lot. Bookending an 8-day/7-night stay with two loooong days of car travel seemed too much at this point in time. 

It was painful for me to choose to miss the trip. I weighed it carefully. I love Maine, and my family up there, but it felt like the right/safe/smart decision for me to stay back. And in this time of COVID-19, when we have all been together for most of the time since March--well, it wasn't like when Dan and I were both working full-time, me in NYC, and this was my cherished vacation time to be with my nuclear family.

We had asked Mimi [kind of at the last minute] to take Punch, but she had a timing conflict. Figgy had been planning to go for weeks; she works so hard and rarely takes time off from her two jobs. She loves it up in Maine, loves her uncles, grandmother, cousins, etc.  She packed, I think, a whole large bag of footwear, another one of clothing and books--and a third, a rolling suitcase, of art pads and drawing implements. Somewhere in there: bird guides and binoculars.

So I sent the three of them off last Thursday and they return this Thursday. It's just me and my Sugar baby at home.

In the beginning, I felt sad but then I settled into it....and I like it very much. Anyway, I will be back in fall or winter, Thanksgiving or Christmas. I am happy to hear they are having fun--involving tubing on a lake [Punch and her cousin]; canoeing with her aunt and uncle [Fig]; seeing his mother and five beloved siblings [Dan]; and staying by themselves in an old farmhouse Dan's brother Pat and his soon-to-be-wife Martha bought and are fixing up.

I have:

• Weeded, pruned and fertilized, the better to see a few bright orange and hot pink blooms [hibiscus, gladiola].
• Listened to great music [The Divine Comedy singing "Don't Mention the War" and beautiful "A Lady of a Certain Age" plus Arlo Guthrie's golden version of "Hard Times Come Around No More."] 
• Taken a long soak in the tub without worrying about someone walking in, since this old house has just one bathroom and four people. 
• Read and kept the light on late. 
• Made important phone calls--to set up [more] support for Punch, starting Friday; to do my own therapy appointment; schedule my dental checkup [no openings til November]]; discuss and read something helpful with my friend. To chat with Sarah and Sharon.
• Had coffee with my friend Anne today in the backyard, sitting at a safe distance. Moey probably driving over for dinner out tomorrow evening.
• Gone to Oldwick, beautiful Jersey farm country, to go to a barn sale and see a Victorian house I'm writing about. Bespoke kitchen to love!!!!! Plus four pet goats, a turkey, chickens, a pantry with jars of homemade preserves lined up neatly on a shelf., wire baskets on the counter brimming with garden tomatoes and eggs from the hens.......wow. Sis came to visit me Saturday and stayed over one night, so we drove in her car. She liked it, too.
• Enjoyed the peace and quiet.
• Applied eye makeup.
• Started walking sweet Sug daily again.
• Read a new jam book that has some other great recipes, too.
• Started thinking, with Dan, too, about the school year for Punchy.
• Made a big pot of vegetable soup with fresh kale, yellow squash and cherry tomatoes from a farm we went to Saturday, shallots and more--Sis's friend Diane calls it "Ugly Soup" and gave us the recipe. Very good with shaved Parmigiano-Reggiano on top. I'm eating healthfully.
• Been sipping good French press coffee with a generous pour of whole milk and half and half. My French press pot is not big enough for the coffee hounds I live with [Dan and Fig]--so we generally use the drip coffeemaker.
• Savored my old TV favorites--Andy Griffith, Gomer Pyle, The Waltons and now, The Dick Van Dyke Show! I found that old treasure free on Tubi. My mother used to plop me in front of that as a little girl---I was the last of four children and she was likely getting the other three off to school or doing something while they were there. Sally, Buddy, Rob and Laura seem like old friends. The house and the office are so familiar. But now I find great humor in Mel's mean behavior! Not watching these on a constant loop but we have one TV and a small living room so it's a luxury to have it to myself.

Anyway, it's been bothering me that I haven't updated 

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET 

It all begins with our Cape Cod trip, so here we go, and I will crunch the numbers. This might be very tedious for you to read--apologies. But thank you for keeping me honest, as our friend Michael says.

You can just cut to the chase at the bottom.

Friday 7/31 

Errands before leaving Montclair, parking metr, 50 cents.

Vesta, jar of exquisite (and vegan) hazelnut spread in signature gift bag to leave w Fig, who is holding down the fort, $23.46.

Little Daisy Bake Shop, brownie for Punch plus $1 tip, $4.74.  

drive up to Cape, Subway large sandwich and drink for Punch + $2 tip, $10.46.

Same day, iced coffee, McDonald’s, $3.

Saturday, 8/1

Mac’s Seafood 🦞 Market, Eastham, $93.53 + $2 tip, $95.53. That’s because P got a fried whole belly clam plate to share w Dan and I got a warm lobster roll w 6 oz lobster meat, both tourist-pricey. Mine was yummy. We also got ingredients for our family dinner last nite: 1/2 lb large fresh shrimp; 1/4 lb scallops; 2 zucchini; 1 summer squash; 2 lemons; 2 lb delicious kale salad, lightly dressed; and long loaf French bread. Had I had more money on me, I would have gotten more--pricey olive oil and cheese, etc. Also, it was hard to resist dark chocolate craft bar w cranberries at the register, but I did.

Sunday, 8/2

Hot Chocolate Sparrow ☕️, toasted sandwiches for 2, large iced coffee for me, coffee milkshake for Punch, plus tip, $25.

Monday 8/3

• General store, Eastham, The New York Times, The Boston Globe, bag of Kraft marshmallows, Nutella, small NesQuik (previous 3 items for Punch), box of cereal, Cabot cheese, quart half and half, one red pepper, 5 Cape Cod postcards, $35.15.
• Lost a bet to P about how far she and friend would swim in pond, $1.

8/4

• Hot Chocolate Sparrow, toasted turkey sandwich, large iced coffee + jar tip, $13.
• Same place, my one dessert/ice cream cone planned on this long vacay, + jar tip, about $7. Vanilla soft serve w homemade chocolate dip.
• Seafood shack in Brewster, dinner for 3.  Dan put tab on card; I put $5 cash in tip jar.
• In that shack’s store, bag of Tate’s cookies (not for me) and jar of Cape Cod Saltworks Classic Sea Salt w pretty label,+ counter tip, $17. https://1830seasalt.com

8/5

• Pure Vita CBD and essential oils store in Eastham: a great book about natural cleaning, small jar of rose clay mask, small blue glass spray bottle of the store’s hand sanitizer blend, my plastic spray bottle from home filled w Katie’s (mighty and minty) all-purpose cleaner; organic cotton reusable large bowl lid with whales on it--and a beautiful white throw pillow case embossed with golden pineapples, $83.54 + $1 for Cape Cod kids. https://purevitacapecod.com/
• Mac’s Seafood 🦞 Market, Eastham, 1/2 lb lobster meat, 3:4 lb local cod and one Chequessett dark chocolate Chatham Cranberry bar, 2.25 oz. to divide by 4 for elegant dessert, ,$43.99. https://www.chequessettchocolate.com/
• Hot Chocolate Spartow, large iced coffee, $3.47.
• Sam’s Deli, brunetti biker went on bike path to pick up our order--Stonewall Kitchen black raspberry jam, a family vacation treat; 2 toasted sandwiches; large focaccia loaf for dinner; good marinara sauce; pasta. $48.03, including 10 percent tip built in.  Plus $3 tip for delivery girl.
• Ordering quilt by Lily, who was one or two years ahead of us in high school  and among the first girls to run cross-country in Bergen Countyt--about $43. She lives in an Airstream in PA and was selling her pretty quilts on Insta: @LilyNaney.

8/6 and 8/7

2 ATM bank fees, $6.

Thai takeout for 4 plus tip, $61 (Sis paid another $20)

Entry in poetry contest, $5.

Souvenir shop on route 6, tie-dye shirt for P, Cape Cod mug, large tube Ocean Potion sunscreen, flip flops because mine broke up here, Cape Cod car magnet, $42.01. (It was $20 more than that, but Sis insisted on giving me $20 to pay for the flip flops. Big sisters.)

Bob’s roadside lunch, Sis treated, but pricey, so I chipped in $15.

Cumberland Farms convenience store [shoppers in masks, social distance], dozen eggs, 2 gal water, Vanity Fair magazine, $15.

Money for Punch to do bumper boats etc w friend, $20 (Dan had originally given friend’s mom $40.)

Saturday Aug 8

• Pure Vita Cape Cod, glass spray bottle of Katie’s signature all-purpose cleaner* and her organic facial cleanser, w orange 🍊 oil, coconut oil, poppy seeds etc. $37.98.
• Ice cream truck at pond for Punch and pal, $5.
• Chocolate & Coffee place on corner, iced coffee, 2 bottled waters for Sis’s drive home, pink flamingo lights phone charger cord, $22.
• Pure cacao bars from California, ordered, $54.35 w shipping protection.

*The all -purpose cleaner is great. P dropped an Italian sub on the white rug and I sprayed it down and rubbed with wet white paper towel. I think the stain is all gone. Also like it for microwave and counters.

Sunday Aug 9

• Shell Gas station, Eastham. Fill tank, $36. Fill red gas jug to use in lawn mower up here, $4.33.

Monday, 8/10 and other days?

Chatham

• Beautiful book, $19.12.
  

Wellfleet

• The Blue Willow food shop, medium-size ham + cheese croissant, large iced coffee and signature breakfast sandwich on freshly baked cinnamon bun to bring to Punch, bag of Blue Willow coffee beans to grind and brew at home in NJ, plus tip, $26.95, https://www.bluewillowcapecod.com/ (Small shop, only one person or party allowed in at a time. BTW, wherever we enter, masks are required.))

Eastham

• Sam’s Deli, 2 jars good Paesana marinara sauce, large tube Alba aloe gel ( Punch is sunburned on nose), bag of  Beanstock Wellfleet blend coffee beans, local Four Sisters granola,jar of Stonewall Kitchen fig jam + tip, $54.90.
• U.S.Post Office, gift card for Figgy, sheet of Forever stamps, 2 red heart padded envelopes for future, $40.73.

Tuesday, 8/11, drive home

• Hot Chocolate Sparrow, large iced coffee for car, 2 bottled waters, $6.47.
• Rest stop in CT, a couple small chocolate milks to have on hand for P (they didn’t have plain, and our power was out 2+ days at home), small bag cashews, bag of Ritz Bits PB cracker sandwiches to share. About $12.50.

Since returning from Cape Cod, oy:

• Amazon, big Sqirl Jam Book + Lilly Pulitzer grocery tote, $42.05.
• Instacart, groceries, $125.
• Instacart, groceries, $77.26.
• Instacart, groceries, $91.24.
• Instacart, groceries, $110.21.
• Moss & More, $120, including nice gift for someone.
• Barn sale with Sis, $25?
• Farm stand with Sis, $30?
• Help pay dinner tip when friend paid bill, $10.
• CVS, including Oribe Gold Lust Repair & Restore Shampoo, $100?
• Groceries, Kings, $31.50.
• MALIN+GOETZ, peppermint scrub + lip gloss, free ship, $52.25.
• Vesta Chocolate, hot coffee, $4.53.
• T.S. Ma, Chinese takeout entree, lasted for dinner and lunch, $15.40.
• Kings, groceries, $54.56.
• ATM bank fee, $3.
• CVS, morning family left for Maine, w Punch for Rx, snacks for their 

road trip, ear buds and charger for her iPad, bday gift for Maine niece, etc. about $100?

Ongoing monthly spend for August as of 8/25: $1,943.21.

Average daily spend: $77.73.

__________________________

LAST MONTH

total out-of-pocket SPEND AS OF 7/30 before leaving for Cape 7/31

$2,637.07.

AVG DAILY SPEND: $87.90.

November Goes out Like a Lion in Maine

Cold outside, cold inside. Saw this movie with Punchy today. 

It was 21 degrees here in Belfast when Dan's brother John last checked. It is frigid and the wind is whipping.

I'm so glad to be warm inside this old farmhouse.

We plan to hit the road tomorrow at 9:30 am. Punch, Fig and I are stopping at Sis's in Stamford, Connecticut on the way home, to have supper and get our fluffball, Sugar. Sis has been so good to watch Sug with her Buttercup. Then we four females head home to Montclair. We have to rise Monday 6 am for work and school.

It's just after 11 pm and I'm about to work for an hour or a bit more. It's the only time I could carve out up here, between seeing Dan's four brothers, his mom, our niece, etc.

I would love to just curl up in the corner bedroom with the flannel sheets and the space heater and read David Sedaris stories [Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls]. But even though my manager didn't pressure me at all, there was an editing/revising task I had hoped to do the one day I was at work this week [Monday] or Tuesday, when I was home, and didn't. So I want to do it now, so he has it by Monday morning.

Maine memories:

• Bundling up to walk on the Belfast Rail Trail yesterday afternoon with Martha and Punch. It was sunny and very brisk. We saw some ducks on the water.
• Thanksgiving dinner for 23; it would have been 24, but my sister-in-law, Sheila, who always does the toast, was feeling ill. We missed her, but still, the homemade dinner was ample and delicious--from John Hurley's bright cranberry sauce, spooned into round white bowls, to the mashed potatoes Punch proudly made, with a little help from me and Aunt Martha. Ingredients: One big sack yellow-flesh potatoes; butter; salt; pepper; milk; and a little of the water from the potato boiling pot.
• My mother-in-law. I marvel at how Mary can still do so much at age 90--like travel to see her family, live on her own, focus on her sons and daughter and grandchildren, look put together. She didn't have it in her to bake this year, but she brought an excellent, oversized pumpkin pie from the well-known truck stop, Dysart's. I loved that they gave her a take-out soup container of freshly whipped cream to go with it. Because you definitely need a nice dollop on your wedge of pumpkin pie.
• Figgy. She is so happy to be back up here. She had planned to get a tattoo of the Maine state flower [the pinecone, believe it or not] with a Maine friend, and they did. It's nice. I said maybe I will get a mini version of it one day. Not sure. She said this one hurt a lot.
• Belfast Co-op, of course. But our funds are tight, so I did not overshop. Still, I loved being there. So. Much.
• Stephen King's house. In the 32 years I've been coming to Maine, I had only heard my mother-in-law talk about seeing the author once in the supermarket. But then my cousin Lin and her husband, Joe, came to Maine in the summer, and they went to see the house. It was only 8 minutes out of my way, since I was driving Figgy to Bangor anyway to see two friends she has known for years.
• Colonial Theatre!!!! Movie theatre owned by Dan's brother Mike and his wife, Therese. Punch and I caught their 25th annual Free Family Matinee series that runs weekends between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Such a generous idea for the community, and so popular. My brother-in-law's John Hurley Painting, Inc. is a triple sponsor, on the list with Left Bank Books and the Belfast Co-op. So many shops pitch in on the double and single sponsor list, too. I love how they all come together for this gift to the town. We saw "Dora & the Lost City of Gold," then stayed for the regular 2:55 pm show of "Frozen II," which was really good....the empowered, beautiful sisters, Elsa and Anna; their family heritage; Olaf and Sven; the breathtaking forest and sea; the style--boots, leggings, dresses, capes, braids, bangs, their mother's scarf; and of course, the songs by Kristen Bell and Idina Menzel. I will add a couple to my Spotify playlist. 

TCOY

1. I slept really late, til 10:45 am. Both Wednesday and Thursday nights, I was up til nearly 1:30 a.m. due to different circumstances. Sleeping late felt great.
2. Water.
3. Martha's homemade French toast, Pat's coffee.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Belfast Co-op, natural PB to make sandwiches for trip home, dinner rolls and Maine bread to have with Martha's turkey noodle soup for supper tonight, $13.87.
• Wednesday, Subway at rest stop, 3 sandwiches [me, Punch, Fig], bag of Sun Chips, bottle of soda, $22 plus tip, $23.
• Wednesday, Dunkin' Donuts at same rest stop, highway robbery, medium coffee, $3.70.
• Wednesday, blowout plus tips, $45.
• Wednesday, turkey, lettuce, tomato and mayo on bagel, $8.10.
• Wednesday, CVS, nuts and small Pringles cans for car drive, baby powder, etc., $20.28.
• Wednesday, Thanksgiving bowl to bring Martha, $21.27.
• Wednesday, donation to Glenfield PTA fund drive, $20.
• Friday, Co-op, burger plate for Punch, drinks for me and Martha, round up to nearest dollar for good cause, $13.41 and some groceries for our hosts' house and us--dry cat food, dozen eggs, sesame stick snacks, half-gallon organic milk, pint heavy cream, cookies, etc., $24.
• Friday morning, Co-op again, peppermint liquid hand soap, 2 dark chocolate bars, tofu, corn tortillas, 4 Clif bars, small bag Parmesan crisps, reusable grocery bag [$2], half-gallon raw whole milk from a farm, melatonin for Punch [1 mg. tablets--we ran out, about $9], Dandies vegan vanilla marshmallows, Waleda rose body wash/rose oil set [$3.99], I forget what else, $47.
• Friday, Yo Mamma's shop, Christmas ornament for Sis/thank-you for watching Sug, with tax, about $13.

Total spend Wednesday through Saturday: $252.63.

Total spend for month as of November 30: $2,979.03. ⬆️

Average daily spend: $99.30. ⬆️

The numbers are up but I say again--back to commuting to an office in NYC [since Oct. 21] and all that entails. 

COMPARE TO 3 PRIOR MONTHS:

TOTAL SPEND FOR OCTOBER (31 DAYS): $2,495.36.🍎 ⬆️

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $80.49.🍎 ⬆️

_____________________________________________________________________

TOTAL SPEND FOR SEPTEMBER (30 DAYS): $2,214.43.🍎⬇️

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $73.81.🍎⬇️

___________________________________________________________________________

TOTAL SPEND FOR AUGUST (31 DAYS): $2,895.06. ⬆️

AUGUST AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $93.39.  ⬆️

450 Miles to Maine with a Summer Peach Pie 🍑 🥧

Dan left for Maine in our old blue Toyota today. He has about an hour to go en route [as of 10 pm real time now]. He was booked to write 60-Second Novels at an event midday this Saturday and we felt we couldn't turn down the income. We are digging out of household debt.

So he has to drive back Friday.

Punchy, Figgy and I are leaving tomorrow in a rental car, after P. gets off the schoolbus after her Thanksgiving feast with classmates. I'm sending in 2 loaves of pumpkin bread, one of her favorites. She should be back home by about 1ish. Figgy got off work, is excited, and we are returning Sunday.

The rental car companies were such a rip-off. I didn't call til today, but our local Upper Montclair Avis had no more cars; they've got 40 booked to leave the lot tomorrow. I called another Avis location and Enterprise; I could not believe they were quoting me rates of $680 to $740 just to have a compact car from tomorrow until Monday morning. Fortunately, Dan knows an Enterprise location in Paterson, and that rate was $458.85, including $64.84 in taxes and fees, and that is from tomorrow til Tuesday evening. I have a coupon that should bring the $$ down a bit more.

We’re traveling with a peach pie I made from the fruit of Dan's tree this summer--LOL, that sounds biblical--and a vegan chocolate pecan pie made with fine quality Guittard bars  [my friend Rach gave me the recipe]

I have to go to bed now. Good night.

TCOY

1. Baked apple.
2. Water.
3. Private Benjamin appt! 

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Yesterday, cab fare at lunch time to and from important funeral service, $40.80 round trip [it was MUCH cheaper than Uber]. And I had to go uptown almost 40 blocks and across the park to Amsterdam Avenue, so would have involved subway and bus, from what I could see. Money well spent.
• Yesterday, Macaron, a darling place I discovered more than 10 years ago, for a gift of 12 macarons [gluten-free and kosher, for shiva] and, for our home, a bag of coffee beans tied with pink satin ribbon, plus tip, $46.73. So pretty, the colors. So delicious, too. I remember.
• Yesterday, lunch, Japanese place, with tip, $19.
• Yesterday, Duane Reade, organic half and half, $3.49.
• Yesterday, ATM bank fees, $4.25.
• Yesterday, 2 stamps, $1.10.
• Today, Kings, groceries, including Guittard chocolate and pure maple syrup for vegan pie, plus a few ingredients for 2 pumpkin breads to send to Punchy's school feast, $102.37.

TOTAL SPEND FOR TWO DAYS: $217.74.

[not counting rental car tomorrow or therapy cost]

ongoing spend for month as of November 26: $2,726.40.

average daily spend: $104.86.