"Toyota Universe" and #Onceinabluemoon

Image from and info at https://starwalk.space/fr/news/full-blue-moon*.

Hi from the Toyota service center on Route 46 East in Little Falls, New Jersey.

I'm happy to be here for a noon appointment on a summer Wednesday because

A. It's our first free maintenance check and oil change (under warranty) on the preowned (formerly leased only) RAV4 we bought this spring. It feels good to take care of yourself and of your car. This is fun, especially when the service, with 21-point check, is already paid for, though of course you get ripped off with inflated interest rates and bloated warranty protection charges, etc. when you sign the contract. Next time, if and when there is a next time, I will be far more present and careful. Dan and I did our best. I am grateful for our car.

B. I'm in a workspace away from home, hooray, sitting at a cubicle with a big desktop computer. Not seeing dustballs on carpet, dishes to wash, faded orange echinacea to deadhead in the garden, never mind my laptop and notepads of interview notes, stories I want to pitch. It's just the service area holding room, but it takes me back to all the offices I worked in--at clean desks with other people committed to a common, branded purpose. In this case, it's Toyota technicians and service advisors (shoutout to my man Luis) and of course, the cashier, but I might as well be back at the Twin-Boro News, The Daily Targum at Rutgers, The Nation summer internship. Woman's Day, Seventeen, Good Housekeeping, Cigar Aficionado or Strategic Communications, my last NYC staff job. Or the Hot Chocolate Sparrow on Cape Cod or Joyist, the fabulous smoothie place that thrived in Montclair before the pandemic shuttered it. I loved working on my Rose Gold laptop there, while the Joyist pros buzzed up healthy "Natalie" pink drinks and peanut-butter fueled "Lukes," salads and bowls in that sleek, modern space. All of us--we were industrious and working for a greater cause, witnesses to one another's efficiency and effort. That's what you lose when you work alone at home.

Nissan has free Danishes, a fellow Toyota owner said to several of us near the free coffee machine. (No pastries or bagels there at noon, just vending machines.) We all like to convene and kibitz with other people.

I've been organizing my sunroom office for over a month now. I've filled seven grocery totes or more with books I needed, wanted, loved and in many cases never even cracked open. Pricey cookbooks, including one all about making jam, a double I bought of a Giada fresh Italian bible, an extra Michael Pollan copy. I removed a small bookcase from my sunroom office to make space. That's how many books I have released. I've been unearthing beautiful wood shelves and polishing them with my little bottle of luxury Diptyque leather and wood lotion, featured in my assignment for Good Housekeeping, 10 Best Furniture Polishes of 2024, Tested by Cleaning Experts. Anything French and chic is a win in my book.

SURPRISE NEW ENGLAND LOBSTER ROLL AND SUMMER BLUE MOON!!!!!

Sis told me Sunday about the blue moon coming Monday. It doesn't look blue, just perfectly full, bright, textured and seen. Memorable. Craters, storybook dimensions. So clear and close, you wish to pluck it from the sky.

So Monday at 5 p.m., I drove to Connecticut (usually one-hour drive but took 1 hr. 20 minutes due to rush hour and downpours) to see the #onceinabluemoon Supermoon with her. It was stupendous. 

I can see little blue men up there, Sis joked, pausing to look through her binoculars while we walked her dog, Galena. 

Add to that a lobster roll that rivals the best I ever had, maybe 30 years ago in Kennebunkport, Maine with Dan pre-kids or the one we loved at McLoon's Lobster Shack with Spice/Spike more recently. This roll was a special at Tomato Tomato, a pizza/Italian restaurant right down the street from Sis in Stamford. Big, succulent "local" lobster pieces. Melted butter for dipping. Toasted, charred, buttered bun with perfect grill marks. It was an appetizer, and cost $25, but it was ample. Sis treated. I only paid a little. 

And the dazzling Democratic National Convention in Chicago!!!!!!! Michelle and Barack Obama. JFK's grandson, Jack Schlossberg (newly minted contributer to Vogue). Oprah. Nancy Pelosi. President Bill Clinton. Young poet Amanda Gorman. So much. So much hope.

Good night.

*

*In French from that site: 

Qu'est-ce qu'une Lune bleue ?

L'origine du nom est encore incertaine. Il est utilisé depuis longtemps ; certains le font remonter à 400 ans, lorsque cela signifiait quelque chose qui ne pouvait jamais se produire (d'où l'expression anglaise "once in a Blue Moon").

Une Lune bleue peut être saisonnière et calendaire. Examinons de plus près chaque définition.

translated from French: 

What is a Blue Moon?

The origin of the name is still uncertain. It has been used for a long time; some date it back 400 years, when it meant something that could never happen (hence the English expression "once in a Blue Moon").

A Blue Moon can be seasonal and calendar. Let's take a closer look at each definition.

Wheels

We bought a 2021 certified, preowned Toyota Rav4 SUV at a dealership today. It has under 16,000 miles but just give us a chance. We drive a lot, especially on Maine or Cape Cod trips, plus Dan does many 60-Second Novel gigs out of the area.

We spent more than we wanted to, even with studying prices online, Dan reading Consumer Reports safety ratings and putting down what we considered a lot of savings and negotiating a bit on the MSRP. Then they add all of those ballooning fees at the end, the sales tax (almost $2k), registration, etc. etc. We have not had a monthly car payment in a long time. I hope we take good care of this car and have many safe drives, and can manage the money smoothly. Another reason to work hard and not squander.

It's been a long month of Sundays without wheels. Relief. (I can't tell you how many Uber drivers I have had the pleasure of meeting. But tomorrow night, I can drive myself to restorative yoga class!) Even if we are fretting about the interest we will pay over 75 months, eek. They say we can pay the loan off sooner without a penalty.

Good night.

Blogging Daily Is Addictive But Hard

I went to sleep after midnight. I usually go much earlier on weeknights. I did too much, which is better than doing too little, but my self-care then suffers. I didn't brush my teeth or floss. I was too tired. I had meant to change our sheets all day but hadn't.

My Brain & Life revise was due back to my eager and punctual editor. That involved reconnecting with two of my sources in California to flesh out anecdotes. The three-hour difference, in my favor this time, gave me a cushion. The workday in CA would go on longer than mine.

Since our car got a flat and the temperature gauge climbed dramatically high again, I had to Uber with Punch to her weekly therapy appointment in Paramus. We were 9 minutes late for the 5:30 appointment, with traffic. Thank goodness for Uber. It was a money stressor, but I was determined Punchy would do in-person, generally better for her than telehealth, the backup. And we just did telehealth last Monday due to logistics.

The Uber there was $34.08 plus $5.11 tip. But that was a work bonus, because instead of driving speedy Route 17 North at rush hour, Carlos calmly held the wheel. I brought my interview notepad to review conversations and quotes in the backseat. And I checked emails on my phone. In the waiting room, while Bobby Flay oversaw a bearded chef's cornbread and fried chicken on the TV, I caught a return call from California and got exactly the info I needed, to jot in my pad and weave into the article. I was grateful. The stars aligned.

To carry us home, the car cost $35.62 plus $6 tip, but we got to meet a man (our driver) from the country of Georgia, near Turkey, and laugh over American coffee being like "black water." Davit was used to the short, strong cups of his homeland, several times a day. I like that Punch and I got a mini geography and culture lesson as the wheels turned. It matters, and it bonds us, too.

But the point is, since I hadn't blogged yet for Monday, I wrote and posted last night by 11 p.m. I hadn't made dinner or touched base with Sis. Dan had eaten a veg burger and I had to send the revised article back. Also, under too much on plate, I really wanted to watch "Witness" again after the Amish visit Sunday. I need to manage time better. I loved the movie and Figgy made me the most delicious bowl, with kale, seared tofu, pepitas and homemade dressing. Stroke of luck, being in the right place at the right time. I didn't have to pan-fry the fresh salmon, a daunting task at night. But I have to today, or it will grow older and we will lose money. Same for the big pot of chili. The giant red pepper is aging and I have to use the ground turkey in the non-vegetarian batch.

So I blogged this morning instead. I hope you enjoy your day. And I will brush and floss this morning.

P.S. My personal reader (Dan) sent me this obituary of the poodle skirt creator. What a beautifully crafted story, every word so perfect, and what an enchanting invention. Personally, I want a poodle skirt.

Spring Lake Today, Cape Cod Tomorrow

My mom is not here (not now, of course, when I am 59 and she would be almost 96) packing that one big gray suitcase with the thin zipper that went around and around, enclosing our Cape Cod essentials. Bathing suits, culottes. clam diggers (pants) and shirts. Just like magic, zip, zip, vacation to go. 

I think she packed for our family of six in that one big valise in the 1960s, but I can't be sure. She liked us to leave for our weekly cottage rental before 6 on Saturday morning, before the sun rose, our white Ford Falcon nosing along Bedford Road, leaving #187 farther and farther behind.. We would motor over the Bourne Bridge, crossing the Cape Cod Canal, before the traffic was too thick.

So, Mom, I miss you. You and Daddy definitely gave me this gift of Cape Cod, this legacy of beauty and strength and nature in its purest form. 

Our Figgy is staying behind--she has two jobs, one at the store and one at the biology lab on campus--and doesn't want to take off both this week and our week later in August to see our family in Maine. She will join us for Maine. My mother-in-law, Mary, who is 90-plus, just moved out of the house she lived in for 50+ years and into an apartment in a house in Belfast, where four of her sons live. We haven't seen her since Thanksgiving. Covid has been rough and isolating for her.

Sis and Buttercup will join us on the Cape from Wednesday to Saturday. Yay. I see nature walks in my near future. Also masks, and for rest stops along the highways, sanitizers and wipes.

We have wheels! Just in the nick of time, our mechanic, Jason, found us a nice-looking 2009 Toyota for $5,000--and its Official Kelley Blue Book listing is about $7,000. We are good to go.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Moey and I had a lovely trip to Spring Lake; I was back home today in Montclair by 1 pm, since Moey had work appointments. I brought a little jar of homemade rhubarb berry jam to Dan, who said it was really good. It was made, I believe, by the baker at The Ocean House B&B. I'm off sweets now, but her pretty mermaid layer cake, wow!!!!!! Want to get it for someone some day, maybe Punch.

This morning, I did beach yoga class at 7 am with Grace. Such a privilege, truly. She does the class on Thursday and Saturday mornings and I'm hoping to get back for a another stay that includes her class.

The coffee at the inn was excellent. The building's history is rich; dating back to 1878. After yoga, I walked by the kitchen and heard metal against a bowl, probably a whisk in the eggs.

The dining room is retro and cheery but many of us, including Moey and I, ate out on the wraparound porch, at tables placed at a safe distance from each other.

I better go. Dan and I caught up with laundry and most chores, but plan to leave in the morning, and we have not packed. No washer and dryer at the house; I usually do one trip to laundromat on Old Cape Cod.

Still have a little work-work to do for a magazine article, too, before we leave. But I'm tired now and will get up and do it in the early morning--emailing my questions about a very pretty interior design project to the source--in France. I also heard about more upcoming freelance work. Good night to you.

TCOY

1. Yoga.
2. Looking at sea, gulls and flowers--and children up so early with their grownups on the beach. Remembering those days.....
3. Walking around the town; so many cute shops, 
4. Afternoon therapy appt on phone. Helpful, insightful, as always.
5. Walked Sug around the block.
6. Talking to Moey.
7. Ate a homegrown tomato from my friend Elaine. Also, some fresh fruit, oatmeal, 

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Small jar rhubarb jam, $8.
• Flowers by Colleen, this tiny flower shop, a pretty pink flowering houseplant for Moey and one for me, about $16.
• Whimsicality, a dream home furnishings store, pretty hand soap in clear glass bottle to bring to Cape Cod, $16. 
• Breakfast tip in jar, $5.
• Peanuts, $1.

TOTAL DAILY SPEND: $46.

ONGOING MONTHLY SPEND AS OF JULY 30, ADDING IN ALL DAYS NOW: $2,637.07.

AVG DAILY SPEND: $87.90.

This July is much higher than last July, tho I didn't track July 1 to 4 last year.

Car $54, Where Are You?

Squad car w blinking lights just pulled Punchy and me over on Valley Road. None of us knew our annual registration was late, but police can check remotely on the road. Ticket for $54 and we have to get to DMV post haste. Hoping Dan can go tomorrow.
Ready to close the curtains on this day. Good night.

TCOY

1. 7 a.m. support group.
2. Had homemade mint pea soup w plain grass milk yogurt and Ezekiel toast.
3. Talked to Jenn and Jim.
4. Walked Sug around block.
5. Soothing bath.
6. Updated extensive Monday spending [see previous post].

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Subway, sandwich, chips and drink for P after her 6:30 dental checkup and before we stopped in at school for bullying info forum. $10.40.
• Didn’t go online and pay $54 ticket yet so not logging it here.

TOTAL DAILY SPEND: $10.40.
ONGOING TOTAL FOR MONTH AS OF JUNE 11: $1,705.25.
AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $155.02.

MONEY THOUGHTS: Big June spends include LillyPulitzer.com dress, tech sleeve 
for laptop, market tote, $154; salon cut, color and shampoo product, $271; gift, $80; 
Ubers while our only car was in shop for 4 days; Joyist morning, $37; teachers' 
toasts tickets, $74; teachers' gift, $40; and Aerin sale at Williams-Sonoma, $78. 

KEEPING AN EYE ON PAST MONTHS

MAY TOTAL SPEND: $2,348.24.

MAY AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $75.75. 

APRIL TOTAL SPEND: $3,634.28.

APRIL AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $121.14.

Money, Found & Lost

I remembered a $200 check I had misplaced. Money found & lost, but not wasted. See yellow highlight below. Thanks, John Keats, via PoetryFoundation.org.

from Endymion

BY JOHN KEATS

A Poetic Romance

(excerpt)

BOOK I 

A thing of beauty is a joy for ever: 

Its loveliness increases; it will never 

Pass into nothingness; but still will keep 

A bower quiet for us, and a sleep 

Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing. 

Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing 

A flowery band to bind us to the earth, 

Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth 

Of noble natures, of the gloomy days, 

Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darkened ways 

Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all, 

Some shape of beauty moves away the pall 

From our dark spirits. Such the sun, the moon, 

Trees old and young, sprouting a shady boon 

For simple sheep; and such are daffodils 

With the green world they live in; and clear rills 

That for themselves a cooling covert make 

'Gainst the hot season; the mid forest brake, 

Rich with a sprinkling of fair musk-rose blooms: 

And such too is the grandeur of the dooms 

We have imagined for the mighty dead; 

All lovely tales that we have heard or read: 

An endless fountain of immortal drink, 

Pouring unto us from the heaven's brink. 

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Uber for Sug + me to groomer, since Dan had our car at Science Day at Punchy's school. Thanks, driver Pedro, with $1.50 tip, $9.20. Poor Sug was shaking like a leaf. She knows very well when she is headed to the vet or the groomer, in an Uber or not. She's nobody's fool.
• Uber for me to get from groomer to Joyist to work [and step outside to sit at tables there to do phone interviews]. Thanks, driver Yasmin, with $1.50 tip, $9.27.
• Joyist, latte, free, with my unlimited weekly coffee card. Delicious breakfast bowl w mashed root vegs, roasted tomatoes, mushrooms, crispy kale and 2 eggs. Costs $11 but free, with my 10th punch on rewards card. Chia pudding w raspberries, $6.
• I now ordered the Mini Warren Lamp from Aerin.com to go with my beautiful Liberty of London lamp shade, which does not, in fact, fit with my little $3 Cape Cod thrift-shop lamp, as I hoped it would. I put the shade on a small lopsided white Laura Ashley lamp I bought in the 1990s! It will look so much better on its true partner, on sale 50 percent off [so $125] and comes with a pretty cream linen shade. Then I will surprise Figgy by putting lopsided lamp w perfect new cream shade up in her room. I think she will like it. Lamps are alluring accessories and casting light is a beautiful thing. Free shipping, but $8.28 tax. $133.28. I have the best news! I checked my email around 5 p.m. and found one re. Aerin warehouse sale! My order went through at 11:49 a.m. and at 2:39 p.m., the little lamp was marked down to $79. I called customer service and will be charged the lower price. So glad I caught that email ON SAME DAY. Adjusted price: $84.23.
• Williams-Sonoma, lovely Floral Meadow Easter bunny mug to give Sis [she is coming for Easter dinner; all Easter items were 20 percent off] and jar of organic veg stock marked down from $19.99 to $4.99. $16.04. 

  

  I got this mug to give Sis on Easter. Here is the LINK.
  When we see a bunny in the grass, we say it is our Dad visiting.

• Uber back to groomer to get Sug and then deliver her at home, all fluffy, clean and pampered. Thanks, driver John, with $2.50 tip, $13.69. This was a madcap + stressful Uber day but Sug was overgrown. I didn't know the groomer was closing early and needed us there by 2; Dan couldn't get there by then from Science Day. But I did get our car again by 2:15.
• Parking meter, $1.50.
• Montclair Stationery, two legal pads for article interviews, one pink, one blue; 2 fine-point Sharpies for taking notes, one green [embracing my Irish] and one royal blue; and one large, old-fashioned interoffice envelope that says INTER-DEPARTMENTAL MAIL. I think Punch and I can send notes back and forth to each other under our bedroom doors. You know, retro envelope also says, Cross out previous address. Use repeatedly until all spaces are utilized. $13.84.
• I FORGOT TO PUT THE COST OF GROOMER FOR SUG'S BATH AND HAIR STYLING. ADDING TWO DAYS LATER, $65 + tip, $75. BUMMER. I'M GOING TO ADD A PETS/VET $ BREAKDOWN STARTING AT END OF MONTH.
• Joyist to work again while Dan handled Punch, free cold brew; hazelnut energy bites, $7.

DAILY SPEND: $235.77.
MONTHLY SPEND AS OF APRIL 4: $605.64.
AVERAGE DAILY SPEND SO FAR THIS MONTH: $151.41.

Big Swirl of Anger w Hot Fudge on Top

Anger, yes. Hot fudge, no. Just an image.

I posted the above title and 8 words at 9:13 a.m. That was when I was feeling mean and petty after squabbling with Dan about grocery overspending. I know I was nasty and I regret that. Now it’s 9:38 a.m. and oh, my, what can occur in 25 minutes:

1. Punch and I used to go to Starbucks before school once a week, for the warm bacon, egg and Gouda sandwich she loves. Ordering on the mobile app gets her out of the house, backpack slung over shoulders, like nothing else can. Carless, we haven’t been able to do it for a while. Today, on the last leg of a 24-hour Ford rental car, we had 125 Stars* in our bank for a free item. We got a second sandwich for finicky Punchy’s lunch. After she ran back to the car with our order, like a dutiful little carhop, she realized she didn’t have the sandwiches. We had to go around the block and park again. Strike 1. Our carefully calibrated school arrival time had been lost; now she would go in through the office and get a tardy slip.
2. She knows the rules. Fourth grade is not a work office where people can bring in Starbucks drinks. So when she gets her tall Frappuccino before school, she drinks what she wants and I save the rest in the freezer for her. Strike 2. She smuggled it in in her backpack, straw and all, and denied that she was doing so, said it was on the floor in the back of car.
3. If you do that, I’m going to follow you right into the office and get it from you, I said firmly. She did, so I did. Only problem was, I wasn’t used to this rental car and when I opened the door to race out, the car started rolling backwards in the parking lot. Strike 3. Thank God no one was parked behind me. I dodged into the Ford and put the gear shift in Park.
4. I looked like a crazy ass, white faux fur hat, no makeup, watery blue eyes. Standing in the office insisting she give me the Starbucks drink. I wasn’t mean, just assertive. I finally had to tilt my head to the principal’s office and say, You don’t want to get other people involved. She unearthed the cup. Home run? Doubt it. But the nice man walking out with me—he had just brought his daughter or granddaughter in—was supportive. Was I mean or doing the right thing? I asked him. No, they act like adults and sometimes you have to pull the adult card. You were being a parent and that’s what you’re supposed to do. I thanked him. He had brown skin, I have white, but side by side and together, we can be our best.

Have to go, get some groceries [on budget], wash hair, prep for article interview. Thank you for listening, I have to be very vigilant as a parent. I just hope I can be vigilant enough. Xo.

*When you pay with the mobile app, you earn 2 Stars for every $1 spent; gift card purchases excluded toward Star accumulation. Every 125 Stars cn be redeemed for a free food or drink.

Hello Fresh

This look at 2017 doesn't include farewell [at least for now] to Senator Al Franken; radio hosts Leonard Lopate, Garrison Keillor and John Hockenberry; "Today" show co-anchor Matt Lauer; TV host Charlie Rose; movie mogul Harvey Weinstein; and many other men charged with engaging in inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace. Nor does it fold in a big hello to the eyes-wide-open new hope that women will not have to compromise their personal values, or trade on their sexuality, to succeed in business and life. My chart does not address the unsavory behavior of our tweeting man in the Oval Office, either. But I had to note all of that here in the intro--for my daughters, my friends, my sister, my colleagues, and me.

GOODBYE TO YOU	C’MON IN, THE DOOR IS OPEN
The January I turned 56 and the next 11 months that trailed slowly behind, as I in high heels trail Punch on the walk to the schoolbus stop. My mother died at 56. This felt momentous. I often compared myself to her: She also felt tired in the afternoons. Could she have walked miles? What nice friends she had, what joy they shared. How did she resist eating too many of the chocolate grahams she loved? That was fun, the way she made my friends and me laugh. In my mind, I saw her brown suede jacket, A-line skirts, sandals, Alexander's housedresses, little green leather keychain, mirrored perfume tray, gold link charm bracelet and letter holder [which I gave her one year, at her request]. I revisited the last words we exchanged and the afternoon when I came home from school and she wasn’t there. I was worried. She was out Christmas shopping. I contemplated the fear and doom she must have felt, leaving family and friends at such a young age. How lonely she must have felt, looking death in the eye.	A new CPAP machine for sleep apnea, acquired in December. It should extend my life, but I currently hate it. It makes me very anxious to put the “mask” over my nose—feels suffocating, and the straps are unkind to blowouts because they flatten hair. [I have model that covers nose, not face, thank the Lord.] On New Year’s Eve, I lay awake for 3 hours before I could finally fall asleep. I’m going to take a small dose of calming medicine every night until I get over the hump. I know this darn machine will be helpful in the long run. After two weeks, the dr. read the results and said it was already helping a lot.
My brother-in-law, Don; Sis’s husband of almost 22 years. He died the day after Easter Sunday and though he was almost 90, he left us all too quickly. He was in good health, had just gone into the hospital. He left me with the gift of knowledge about his passions: sailing and jazz. He left Sis sad. Don was a big presence and there is a hole in the family. He adored my sister and always said so. He was there for me in tough times, opening their peaceful home to me. He was a member of the New York Yacht Club, and I got to dine there. Lucky me.	My friend and nutritionist, the positive, petite and pretty Rachael. I’m signing on to eat more healthfully, cut back sugar, drink more water, walk or do other exercise more this year. We had been friendly for 8 years through our older daughters but when we met for avocado toast and lattes at The Corner in November, I found a strong and gracious helper. Another friend is signing up, too.
Jobs I applied for and did not get, very few wholeheartedly and many on LinkedIn. I learned from the quests and also learned, quite painfully, not to put hot coffee too close to my laptop keyboard. I was at Starbucks one Sunday night until closing to complete a writing test and surely needed the caffeine, not the jittery behavior that caused me to spill the brew. My laptop could not be saved. Fortunately, I had Dan's laptop to use, and copies of my files in email.	Jobs in my future that I will apply for but don’t even know about yet—and the pretty, light, glam, fast ROSEGOLD MacBook laptop purchased in November, to replace that old relic mentioned at left. Among other things, the “Pages” function allows me to make fun charts like this one.
Figgy’s darkness and illness, which took hold in high school. Gradually, more and more sun has filtered in and her mood lifted noticeably in 2017. May the road continue to rise with her.	Fig’s passion for and good work studying biology at Montclair State! For her biology final this year, she dug up and wore a locket from my father’s possessions—a good luck talisman for the girl he called “Apple Annie.”
The soft and beautiful aqua cashmere V-neck sweater bought on sale in Florida in winter 2014 on a short trip there with Sis and Don. I dragged her to a Lilly Pulitzer store. It became a war garment. I got really sick in the car once and the dry cleaner couldn’t help much. Then I burned a hole in the sleeve with a Christmas taper last year. It was finally done in with three moth holes. None of this made it any easier to part with it, but I did.	STITCH, a new fashion boutique on Valley Road in Montclair that puts us all at the pulse of style trends. Careful edit by owner Caitlin.
Bent, clogged gutters on our Dutch Colonial. Other pressing bills always came first—heating oil, electric, etc. We skipped a couple/few years of gutter cleaning! Right before Christmas, I called. It was only $85 and the men were miracle workers. They even fixed the bent part, which I think was bent because birds were nesting there.	New housing market for birds, I guess.
Our 2005 gray Honda CR-V, with over 270,000 miles. It finally would not start and cost too much to fix. It delivered us to Maine, Cape Cod, Boston, D.C., Vermont, Connecticut, NYC, New Hampshire, Rhode Island. Figgy was 10 when we bought it new.	A revamped red bike that Dan took to the shop—and a new bike helmet from Target.
The 2005 navy blue GMC Yukon we bought from our mechanic to replace the Honda. It was in great shape, had 150,000 miles, and I loved it. But within a month or two, Dan totaled it on the Garden State Parkway one evening rush hour before Christmas when he looked down and crashed into the car in front of him. Thank God no one was hurt. Accidents will happen, I know.	The set of wheels that will carry us into the future. I don’t know yet what you are or where you will come from, but I hope you are strong and steady and not a money pit. I hope you carry Punch safely to school and sports, our family safely wherever we go.
Farewell, unfortunate court appearances that I cannot get into here. I still cringe when I recall running into the wiry, caged bear of a D.A. at Whole Foods; the kind attorney who turned up in our church choir; and another nice person, repeatedly at CVS and Kings. To quote our smart friend Michael [an attorney], This is a small town.	More empathy.
A long series of weekly family communication classes in which I met a remarkable group of women—tough, true, loving—who taught me a lot about life and myself.	The lessons learned in those classes. I hope to keep them close to my heart.

Too Hot to Handle

Punch and I were zipping into the city, as much as one can zip during Thursday evening rush hour. As a last resort, I was bringing her with me to a couple of Holiday Housewares press events. My sitter unexpectedly extended her family vacation, and H. and Fig were both out working.

Everything was okay until the heat gauge on the dash was in the red danger zone and smoke started coming out of the hood.

We were approaching the Lincoln Tunnel, and I sure didn't want to get stuck in there. No way out.

So I took the last exit in NJ, nosing toward Hoboken. We let the car cool, ate Malaysian food [!] and Punch hopped on her Hoverboard, which was in the car. She rolled up and down the sidewalks like a pro, and we noticed a big crowd taking photos in front of Carlo's Bake Shop [Cake Boss].

The car finally cooled down enough for us to add one gallon plus of wate to the radiator.

Now we are home. I'm sorry we missed the two events--my colleagues from California were at the first one and the second, hosted by Black & Decker, was booked as an "Influencer Event" for tweeters, bloggers and instagrammers. I dangled that description for Punch because she speaks that language. But safety comes first, so we had to turn back.

Good night.

TCOY

1. Yoga class, 8 a.m.
2. Have a work to-do list for tomorrow, plus a beauty appt.
3. Ice water.
4. Bought a cantaloupe.
5. Waited a while for new hot water heater installation. Now we can TCO ourselves with nice hot showers.
6. Baked salmon.

"Thank God!" I Said Aloud

Love my new black suede booties from Piazza Della Sole in Montclair;
sticker price $179, but 50 percent off. Image from comfortshoes.com.

So grateful that I went on an interesting job interview at 8 a.m. As my friend and fellow blogger Kim says, let's see.

So grateful that when I backed up in the Bank of America parking lot at about 10:15 to go get Figgy at Montclair State and get her to the oral surgeon [wisdom teeth], it was a lamp post base I hit, not a car. The noise was pretty loud. My car didn't get damaged, either. Oh, thank you, God, I said aloud. Thank you, thank you.

So grateful that when I went on the neighborhood listserve to inquire about oral surgeon recommendations, my neighbor Lisa told me about the Montclair doctor she used for her daughter and about the DentalSave program. It's incredible. I paid $29.99 for the first month and can renew month by month as needed. It gives me 25 percent off these very high charges. Even today, the consulation and scanning Xray would have been $170 and I paid $127.50. I am delighted about that savings. Check it out.

Thankful for a good hair day, too. And new black suede booties that feel good, have a little 1960s edge and were half price. And the store had one left in my size, 11! I wore them today with a black knit dress and patterned tights and a great necklace by Mary Marino. [It's long, swingy, shiny glass pearls with a jade medallion and brown leather fringe tassel.]

Until later.

I Promise to Follow up

Drove to church in Malibu, along PCH to Zuma Beach, went in waves, drove north some more, struck by beauty, pulled into Paradise Cove, parking attendant told me I had a flat front tire, called AAA, found hidden outlet for dead phone in sandy outdoor dining area, was stressed out and worried waiting for Malibu Towing [since 1942] truck. Now I'm back in hotel, showered and ready for bed. Home tomorrow. For various reasons, this has been a bit of a rocky/pebbly weekend since I left the biz part of the trip Friday at noon. But it has certainly had some memorable moments, too. Travel fills the soul, but a flat tire can deflate it. I also missed my family at the beach, especially when I saw young kids pulling their parents into the waves, or vice versa. Good night.

From One Rocky Edge to Another

Not quite the pretty cliff walk, which I'll write about tomorrow....our dumb plug-in GPS gadget [from 2009] sent me on a meandering route home that involved the Taconic Parkway South in New York, a harrowing two lanes for a long stretch....I saw a mounted white cross in memory of someone and a rocky edge that scared me in the dark, drizzly night. When it widened to three lanes, I hit and killed a raccoon that ran out onto the road. At 70 miles per hour, I couldn't very well stop. Creepy feeling, hearing its body under my wheels. Accidental murderer.

Also: The way home took me 1.5 tanks of gas vs. 1 tank on the trip up. More proof that the old GPS is a goner. Driving solo, I couldn't pay attention to its little screen much, so it rerouted me in odd ways. Guess H. was right to worry when I was still strolling on the waterfront in Portland at 6 p.m.

Looking forward to writing about better things tomorrow.

Good night.

Drive with Caution--Dad on the Road

Night before last, I dreamt I was with Dad at the Bergaminis--old family friends. Mom was Elaine's maid of honor and Elaine was her matron of honor, and they'd been friends since girlhood and all through their lives.

In the dream, Elaine and her husband, Romeo, were still alive.....actually, they've been gone for years. And Dad was alive, too. I liked seeing him. He was driving his white 1990s Chevy Cavalier--the one he gave us before he died. I was driving ahead of him, leading him out to the highway when we left at night.

Now today, I learned from the mechanic that Dad's car is most likely a goner, that it would cost more to fix at this point than it's worth. I don't like that. He drove me and little Figgy to the Cape often in that car, and it sports a 1997 sticker for Eastham taxpayers/Eastham beaches.

I miss you, Dad. For now, your car is back in our garage, and I can see it from my desk.

Last Day @ Auto Boot Camp

The car and DIY writers and bloggers waiting for 3M to unveil and demo the new Paint Protection Spray for cars. It felt like Chanel was about to roll out a new top-secret lipstick formula.

We tried the spray ourselves. Writer Bill Howard and 3M's Rachel.

Michelle from 3M, me and tech expert Todd.

Ok, time to head to bus to airport. More later.

Driving Home a DIY Message in the Twin Cities

We auto boot campers went to Target Field for the baseball game tonight. They sell sunflower seeds, bratwurst and Minnesota brews at the concession stands.

In boot camp class, I used the 3M Scratch & Scuff Removal Kit to erase a small jagged-looking scratch on a car exterior. The No Tools Required kit, designed for light/medium scratches, scuffs and paint transfer, contains a gray abrasive square [shown above]; orange foam pad; and two products you apply to pad. First step, sand the scratch.

Then squirt some Rubbing Compound on the pretty orange-sherbet-colored foam pad and buff away. Next, polish any remaining haze/cloudiness with Scratch Remover, using other side of pad. Finish with microfiber detail cloth [not included]. I can honestly say this was fun and I plan to do it on the white scuff marks on our Honda CR-V. Kit is $14.71 @ stockwiseauto.com. I think I got the marks in the very tight parking garage at the condo we lived in when tree fell on our house.

The 3M pros wore red shirts and black pants. Jenn Cook is an engineer and young mother who taught us how to repair dents with 3M Bondo.

The baseball game @ Target Field was fun, if cold. [Too bad the Minnesota Twins lost to the Texas Rangers, 2 to 1.] But we were prepared for the chill--the PR team handed out special gray 3M-logoed sweatshirt blankets before we got there.

Each of our game tickets was electronically loaded with $30 to buy dinner and drinks. I had a Murray's* steak sandwich with fries, following the lead of Bill Howard, a top editor at PC Magazine--we met in December 2011 in Steamboat Springs, CO on a GMC press trip, but we both live in New Jersey. I sat [or huddled] next to Bill at the game, and he's a great conversationalist. He got salted peanuts and shared with me. A hot chocolate kept me warm.

I better go to bed. Have to be downstairs with my luggage by 7:30 A.M. and it's 12:57 already.

But first, favorite quote from Todd Mathes, the 3M car care expert who gave us the scratch removal demo: "I could talk for hours about headlight restoration and scratch removal. I'm just really passionate about it." And, regarding scratch repair: "It's very addictive." I agree, because it's also very rewarding to see the scratch almost completely disappear. Again, I prefer the No Tools Required Kit vs. the one that calls for a drill. Drills scare me.

Signing off from Minnesota. Good night.

*Just read that Murray's steakhouse has been a staple in Minneapolis since 1946. The sandwich was dripping and delicious, made with melted provolone cheese and onions. With fries, $13.

TCOY 
Ummmmm...nothing? Because it can be tricky on a press trip.

Donuts & Dents: Notes from 3M Auto Boot Camp in St. Paul

About to repair a ding with Bondo and a sander. Please don't judge me. Camo not my color and crewneck tee not flattering. Aren't I vain?

We've all been on the go since 8 A.M. and have a short break until the bus picks us up @ 5:30 to go to the Minnesota Twins baseball game @ new Target Field in Minneapolis. So I'm going to try to blog fast, since I want to put my feet up and rest for 30 minutes. Having a little trouble uploading my photos from my phone. But want to report a few things before I forget:

• Square donuts and squared-off rye bread. We ate breakfast @ the 3M cafeteria. Little Boston creme donuts [or should I say St. Paul creme?] with the regular chocolate icing on top--or pink, yellow or white icing. And some were square. Different. And all my life I've only seen rye bread in well, rye bread, shapes--kind of long and rectangular, the better to support genuine New York-style pastrami on rye. But today I popped a piece shaped like Wonder bread into the toaster.
• Chef-served lunch. Excellent beef tenderloin--with horseradish cream sauce and choose your toppings from a big platter heaped with sauteed onions, sauteed mushrooms, roasted red peppers, Boursin cheese and best of all, smoky blue cheese. Never had that before. So good.
• Workin' the Body Shop. We rotated through four bays in the shop today and did everything from erase scratches to repair dings and dents--using 3M auto products. We also used shop vacs, wore safety glasses and pulled on disposable gloves. [I now have greater empathy for my dentist and dental hygienist.] We sanded and buffed and worked some pretty good magic. Details to come.

Later.

TCOY

1. Was choosy at breakfast buffet re: pastries. Had one small round donut. Didn't take other coffee cakes, etc. 
2. Did not go back for lunch buffet seconds even though food was so good. 
3. About to take short nap.

One Degree of Separation from Garrison Keillor

Hello from Minnesota. Home of Land O'Lakes Butter, "Prairie Home Companion" and 3M. My cabdriver from the airport said he has driven Garrison Keillor--whose radio show I love--several times. He's tall and big, Mike the cabbie said, and usually is pretty busy on his cell phone/device.

Not much else to report yet. A couple dozen of us flew here from all over the country for Auto Boot Camp, which starts tomorrow morning. Our welcome bags hold camouflage T-shirts to wear.

Tonight, a bus took us all to St. Paul for dinner at Dixie's. My glass of Little Black Dress Moscato and my BBQ chicken were yum. But the best things on the table were the biscuits--pull-apart tender, buttery, served warm with baby-sized crocks of honey butter. I hated to leave the last one in the basket, but I wasn't coming home.

Good night.

TCOY

1. Boot camp in the park.
2. A lot of airport walking.
3. About to get a good night's sleep.

Winging It to Car Class

Grace Kelly in driver's seat, "To Catch a Thief."

Flying to Minneapolis [hello, Mary Richards, Murray, Ted and Mr. Grant, my idols in high school] to attend 3M Auto Boot Camp for a group of car writers/editors/bloggers. I'll be back Friday evening, and will blog along the way about what we learn in the auto lab at 3M company headquarters. [Scotch Tape maker 3M now has a line of products for DIY car repairs--on dents, scratches and more.]

All I know is, the dress code note says that we will be in a lab environment; no open-toed shoes allowed and safety glasses will be provided.

I like my open-toe shoes!!! But that's OK. I have a new article assignment and this boot camp will offer some insights.

My good Dad would be tickled. He taught me how to drive a stick shift.

Good night.

TCOY

1. Rested. Was tired.
2. Made quesadillas for dinner with lots of peppers and onions.
3. Ice water.

Steering in the Dark

Figgy doesn't drive yet. She's 17, and some of her friends have their licenses, but we've been stalled for good reasons. We hope to get going soon.

Turns out the nighttime driver is often me...sometimes H. Like last night, when Fig had about 10 kids over after Battle of the Bands and made a giant chocolate-chip pancake @ 11 P.M. [we were on the way back from Saw Doctors concert in NYC]. I drove two of the boys home about 12:45 A.M.

Then tonight, a bunch of her friends were watching "The Shining" at her pal A.'s house and I chauffeured Figgy, two boys and one young lady home at 11:40 P.M. I'm getting to know more and more streets in town.

I usually take Sug with me for company. She's always eager to go. Secretly, I guess I kind of like getting to know the kids, even if it is late and I'd like to be asleep. I like hearing about their college plans, their high school classes [German, philosophy, science], their urges to strike out and move from Montclair. And by the time I nose the car back into the driveway, the block is dark. Everyone, it seems, is asleep. But one day all the little children living here will be teens and my neighbors will likely be doing the midnight vigil, too.

I'm glad I can be a witness to the lives of Fig and her friends. H. and I often say we won't just miss Fig next year--we will miss all of these kids.

Good night.

TCOY

1. Support group.
2. Stared down Reese's peanut butter cups @ the A&P.
3. Nap.
4. Candles on the mantel and H. built a fire in the hearth.

My Traveling Companion

The book was written in 1955; this is the CD case.

I've blogged before about GIFT FROM THE SEA, the short, most wonderful book by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, writer, wife of Charles, groundbreaking aviator herself and mother of six, including the famous baby boy who was kidnapped.

Today Anne's words [read by Claudette Colbert, with an intro written and read by Anne's daughter, Reeve] were with me in the car as I drove 194 miles round trip to South Jersey, to see my Aunt Edith, who fell, had a heart attack and got pneumonia. My Aunt Edith is strong. From her hospital bed, she was charming and smart, and worried about me getting home safely.

I just love this recording...check it out. I can't put into words how beautiful it is, how much it speaks to me about the parallels between the beach and ordinary life and about how women/wives/mothers/writers can find balance in their lives, and alone time. Anne's story made the miles go quickly.

Good night.

TCOY

1. Church. Late, but glad I went. Aim to be on time more. Went in, alone, with smoldering anger toward H. and Fig. [It's a long story.] Anger didn't vaporize, but I did arrive at the line, "If today you hear His voice, harden not your hearts." I thought on that.
2. Pressed for time but bought grilled vegs and artichoke hearts to have with my lunch.
3. Got to see my cousin Lin [Aunt Edith's daughter] and talk. Connect.
4. Walked Sug around block once.