Hooray! We can both work tomorrow.
H. and I have been going crazy, kind of, with 6-year-old Punch suddenly under our roof. Tonight is the 11th night in a row, but who's counting?
We thought we had to go to a custody hearing in Newark tomorrow, but learned from Division of Youth and Family Services [DYFS] worker today that we don't.....so that means the four hours we have our sitter can really be spent working.
Can I watch you do interviews? Punch asked tonight. No, thank you, little imp. Not tomorrow, but maybe another time soon.
Today was very stressful, with a 2.5-hour review of our home and signing a million forms for licensing as foster parents [all over again, since we let our license expire years ago]. Add pouring rain, restless Punch and a trip to the DYFS office, which involved a medical exam for her and a tall order for us: reviews, evaluations, dentist, doctor, etc. etc. etc. and all hopes that a 6 1/2-year-old who has never been to school will be enrolled in Montclair under our care. H. and I felt overwhelmed, especially when we learned that we both have to take the multi-hour/multi-day foster parent training classes again.
Seeing the Starkness in the Dark
But then I realized tonight the importance of this job/role/stepping up to the plate, no matter how inconvenient and exhausting. Punch was crying herself to sleep. It had been a long day, H. had been grouchy at bathtime and I had been gruff after that. She'd been like a whirling dervish for hours. At the library [after all those appointments], she made a sweet friend, and we plan to get together with her and her mom for a tea party next week. But the girls hated parting, were both sobbing. Heavy emotional load.
Seeing her crying, burying her head in her pillow, hit home for me. She is so small. She's not grown up enough to cry herself to sleep at 9 o'clock all alone in a new bedroom. Even if she is holding her stuffed puppy. How scary it must be on some level to move around, even though she says she loves it here, loves us, loves Sug and especially loves Figgy. What inner reserves does she have? How can she find them? We must help her not feel lonely. That is our task. Loved, and not lonely. We're the adults. We can do our very best at that.
She finally calmed down in bed, after I showed her a photo of Kevin and Laura as little kids and told her some funny dog stories.
Dan will make you an egg in the morning, I said.
No way, she whispered, her back to me.
Yes he will. Why not? He always makes you an egg.
Because of what happened, she whispered back. Because she had kept turning on the tub water and splashing and God knows what else and he was tired and cranky and hollered, which scared her.
I called him in. He told her of course he'll make her an egg. He told her we will always love her, no matter what. And that today was a rough day, and there can't be too many days as rough as this one.
Will you make me oatmeal, too, Alice? she asked later. That oatmeal with apples is delicious. Score one for McCann's Instant Irish Oatmeal with Apples & Cinnamon.
Good night to you. God, please bless Figgy and Punch and keep them safe. And while you're at it, please give Punch's Mom a helping hand, too.
TCOY
H. and I have been going crazy, kind of, with 6-year-old Punch suddenly under our roof. Tonight is the 11th night in a row, but who's counting?
We thought we had to go to a custody hearing in Newark tomorrow, but learned from Division of Youth and Family Services [DYFS] worker today that we don't.....so that means the four hours we have our sitter can really be spent working.
Can I watch you do interviews? Punch asked tonight. No, thank you, little imp. Not tomorrow, but maybe another time soon.
Today was very stressful, with a 2.5-hour review of our home and signing a million forms for licensing as foster parents [all over again, since we let our license expire years ago]. Add pouring rain, restless Punch and a trip to the DYFS office, which involved a medical exam for her and a tall order for us: reviews, evaluations, dentist, doctor, etc. etc. etc. and all hopes that a 6 1/2-year-old who has never been to school will be enrolled in Montclair under our care. H. and I felt overwhelmed, especially when we learned that we both have to take the multi-hour/multi-day foster parent training classes again.
Seeing the Starkness in the Dark
But then I realized tonight the importance of this job/role/stepping up to the plate, no matter how inconvenient and exhausting. Punch was crying herself to sleep. It had been a long day, H. had been grouchy at bathtime and I had been gruff after that. She'd been like a whirling dervish for hours. At the library [after all those appointments], she made a sweet friend, and we plan to get together with her and her mom for a tea party next week. But the girls hated parting, were both sobbing. Heavy emotional load.
Seeing her crying, burying her head in her pillow, hit home for me. She is so small. She's not grown up enough to cry herself to sleep at 9 o'clock all alone in a new bedroom. Even if she is holding her stuffed puppy. How scary it must be on some level to move around, even though she says she loves it here, loves us, loves Sug and especially loves Figgy. What inner reserves does she have? How can she find them? We must help her not feel lonely. That is our task. Loved, and not lonely. We're the adults. We can do our very best at that.
She finally calmed down in bed, after I showed her a photo of Kevin and Laura as little kids and told her some funny dog stories.
Dan will make you an egg in the morning, I said.
No way, she whispered, her back to me.
Yes he will. Why not? He always makes you an egg.
Because of what happened, she whispered back. Because she had kept turning on the tub water and splashing and God knows what else and he was tired and cranky and hollered, which scared her.
I called him in. He told her of course he'll make her an egg. He told her we will always love her, no matter what. And that today was a rough day, and there can't be too many days as rough as this one.
Will you make me oatmeal, too, Alice? she asked later. That oatmeal with apples is delicious. Score one for McCann's Instant Irish Oatmeal with Apples & Cinnamon.
Good night to you. God, please bless Figgy and Punch and keep them safe. And while you're at it, please give Punch's Mom a helping hand, too.
TCOY
- At 8 A.M., signed on to 3-day flash sale at mahigold.com. Nice dresses, deep discount. It was a planned perk of getting up with Punch @ 7:30 A.M.
- Boot camp in the park.
- We had flounder, mashed potatoes and steamed carrots/zucchini for supper.
- Had a nice talk with Sis, plan to visit with Punch late Friday afternoon for a swim and dinner.
- Going to bed as soon as I write a BBQ product tagline. Can't wait to sleep. And it's the egg maker's turn to rise early, so I can rest a little more.
Posts
Wow. Sounds like major things are going on. I hope everything goes the way it's meant to go. I can imagine how hard this is for such a little girl. It's so good that you and H. are there for her. Talk soon, Alice. Love, Lin
ReplyDeletethanks, Lin. I too hope everything goes the way it is meant to go. how is Joey and L.? love xoxox al
ReplyDeleteThis was the hardest for me, realizing I was the grown-up and had to just step up. Hooray for you and H. You are heroes, but its also ok to mourn a bit for the empty nest life you are apparently deferring ... That little girl knows she is loved, just as your big one does.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Nan
Oh my God, Alice, that egg story just made me cry so hard. She is SO SO lucky to have you. Best of luck, and lots of prayers for you all!
ReplyDeleteugh... my whole comment got erased..... ! let me try again:
ReplyDeleteI teared up when I read "No way." The world clearly wants to start telling little Punch, "Yes way," and that is where you come in. Such a set of mixed emotions you must be having! I'm glad you're renewing your license. As much as it is a total DRAG (and you know I feel your pain), the resources and support should be invaluable.
In September once the dust settles, I'd love to invite myself out to NJ for lunch, meet Punch and compare FC notes....
Hi Nan. Hi Eileen. Hi Kim! Thank you so much for reading, for your supportive thoughts, for your wonderful notes, your prayers. Kim, I'd love to have you over to Montclair! love alice
ReplyDeleteClothes! Does she need clothes? I have an almost-8-year-old fashionista, and we have given bundles away to the thrift store. Want me to start saving cute things for her? It would be NO trouble. Just meet me halfway one day and we could have lunch. :)
ReplyDeleteEileen that would be wonderful! Yes, thank you. And the fact that Nora wore them first would feel lucky,. Thanks. Xox
ReplyDelete