I Sent My Family to Maine without Me

Greetings from Montclair. Vintage postcard from HERE.

I think it's taken me a while to show up here because first, I made that decision in the post title and second, I had to get used to it. 

Things were in too much crisis with Punch last week for me to go in our small Camry--packed to the roof with the four of us and all of our things--for 9 hours minimum drive each way. Our personalities [mine and Punchy's] were clashing a lot. Bookending an 8-day/7-night stay with two loooong days of car travel seemed too much at this point in time. 

It was painful for me to choose to miss the trip. I weighed it carefully. I love Maine, and my family up there, but it felt like the right/safe/smart decision for me to stay back. And in this time of COVID-19, when we have all been together for most of the time since March--well, it wasn't like when Dan and I were both working full-time, me in NYC, and this was my cherished vacation time to be with my nuclear family.

We had asked Mimi [kind of at the last minute] to take Punch, but she had a timing conflict. Figgy had been planning to go for weeks; she works so hard and rarely takes time off from her two jobs. She loves it up in Maine, loves her uncles, grandmother, cousins, etc.  She packed, I think, a whole large bag of footwear, another one of clothing and books--and a third, a rolling suitcase, of art pads and drawing implements. Somewhere in there: bird guides and binoculars.

So I sent the three of them off last Thursday and they return this Thursday. It's just me and my Sugar baby at home.

In the beginning, I felt sad but then I settled into it....and I like it very much. Anyway, I will be back in fall or winter, Thanksgiving or Christmas. I am happy to hear they are having fun--involving tubing on a lake [Punch and her cousin]; canoeing with her aunt and uncle [Fig]; seeing his mother and five beloved siblings [Dan]; and staying by themselves in an old farmhouse Dan's brother Pat and his soon-to-be-wife Martha bought and are fixing up.

I have:

• Weeded, pruned and fertilized, the better to see a few bright orange and hot pink blooms [hibiscus, gladiola].
• Listened to great music [The Divine Comedy singing "Don't Mention the War" and beautiful "A Lady of a Certain Age" plus Arlo Guthrie's golden version of "Hard Times Come Around No More."] 
• Taken a long soak in the tub without worrying about someone walking in, since this old house has just one bathroom and four people. 
• Read and kept the light on late. 
• Made important phone calls--to set up [more] support for Punch, starting Friday; to do my own therapy appointment; schedule my dental checkup [no openings til November]]; discuss and read something helpful with my friend. To chat with Sarah and Sharon.
• Had coffee with my friend Anne today in the backyard, sitting at a safe distance. Moey probably driving over for dinner out tomorrow evening.
• Gone to Oldwick, beautiful Jersey farm country, to go to a barn sale and see a Victorian house I'm writing about. Bespoke kitchen to love!!!!! Plus four pet goats, a turkey, chickens, a pantry with jars of homemade preserves lined up neatly on a shelf., wire baskets on the counter brimming with garden tomatoes and eggs from the hens.......wow. Sis came to visit me Saturday and stayed over one night, so we drove in her car. She liked it, too.
• Enjoyed the peace and quiet.
• Applied eye makeup.
• Started walking sweet Sug daily again.
• Read a new jam book that has some other great recipes, too.
• Started thinking, with Dan, too, about the school year for Punchy.
• Made a big pot of vegetable soup with fresh kale, yellow squash and cherry tomatoes from a farm we went to Saturday, shallots and more--Sis's friend Diane calls it "Ugly Soup" and gave us the recipe. Very good with shaved Parmigiano-Reggiano on top. I'm eating healthfully.
• Been sipping good French press coffee with a generous pour of whole milk and half and half. My French press pot is not big enough for the coffee hounds I live with [Dan and Fig]--so we generally use the drip coffeemaker.
• Savored my old TV favorites--Andy Griffith, Gomer Pyle, The Waltons and now, The Dick Van Dyke Show! I found that old treasure free on Tubi. My mother used to plop me in front of that as a little girl---I was the last of four children and she was likely getting the other three off to school or doing something while they were there. Sally, Buddy, Rob and Laura seem like old friends. The house and the office are so familiar. But now I find great humor in Mel's mean behavior! Not watching these on a constant loop but we have one TV and a small living room so it's a luxury to have it to myself.

Anyway, it's been bothering me that I haven't updated 

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET 

It all begins with our Cape Cod trip, so here we go, and I will crunch the numbers. This might be very tedious for you to read--apologies. But thank you for keeping me honest, as our friend Michael says.

You can just cut to the chase at the bottom.

Friday 7/31 

Errands before leaving Montclair, parking metr, 50 cents.

Vesta, jar of exquisite (and vegan) hazelnut spread in signature gift bag to leave w Fig, who is holding down the fort, $23.46.

Little Daisy Bake Shop, brownie for Punch plus $1 tip, $4.74.  

drive up to Cape, Subway large sandwich and drink for Punch + $2 tip, $10.46.

Same day, iced coffee, McDonald’s, $3.

Saturday, 8/1

Mac’s Seafood 🦞 Market, Eastham, $93.53 + $2 tip, $95.53. That’s because P got a fried whole belly clam plate to share w Dan and I got a warm lobster roll w 6 oz lobster meat, both tourist-pricey. Mine was yummy. We also got ingredients for our family dinner last nite: 1/2 lb large fresh shrimp; 1/4 lb scallops; 2 zucchini; 1 summer squash; 2 lemons; 2 lb delicious kale salad, lightly dressed; and long loaf French bread. Had I had more money on me, I would have gotten more--pricey olive oil and cheese, etc. Also, it was hard to resist dark chocolate craft bar w cranberries at the register, but I did.

Sunday, 8/2

Hot Chocolate Sparrow ☕️, toasted sandwiches for 2, large iced coffee for me, coffee milkshake for Punch, plus tip, $25.

Monday 8/3

• General store, Eastham, The New York Times, The Boston Globe, bag of Kraft marshmallows, Nutella, small NesQuik (previous 3 items for Punch), box of cereal, Cabot cheese, quart half and half, one red pepper, 5 Cape Cod postcards, $35.15.
• Lost a bet to P about how far she and friend would swim in pond, $1.

8/4

• Hot Chocolate Sparrow, toasted turkey sandwich, large iced coffee + jar tip, $13.
• Same place, my one dessert/ice cream cone planned on this long vacay, + jar tip, about $7. Vanilla soft serve w homemade chocolate dip.
• Seafood shack in Brewster, dinner for 3.  Dan put tab on card; I put $5 cash in tip jar.
• In that shack’s store, bag of Tate’s cookies (not for me) and jar of Cape Cod Saltworks Classic Sea Salt w pretty label,+ counter tip, $17. https://1830seasalt.com

8/5

• Pure Vita CBD and essential oils store in Eastham: a great book about natural cleaning, small jar of rose clay mask, small blue glass spray bottle of the store’s hand sanitizer blend, my plastic spray bottle from home filled w Katie’s (mighty and minty) all-purpose cleaner; organic cotton reusable large bowl lid with whales on it--and a beautiful white throw pillow case embossed with golden pineapples, $83.54 + $1 for Cape Cod kids. https://purevitacapecod.com/
• Mac’s Seafood 🦞 Market, Eastham, 1/2 lb lobster meat, 3:4 lb local cod and one Chequessett dark chocolate Chatham Cranberry bar, 2.25 oz. to divide by 4 for elegant dessert, ,$43.99. https://www.chequessettchocolate.com/
• Hot Chocolate Spartow, large iced coffee, $3.47.
• Sam’s Deli, brunetti biker went on bike path to pick up our order--Stonewall Kitchen black raspberry jam, a family vacation treat; 2 toasted sandwiches; large focaccia loaf for dinner; good marinara sauce; pasta. $48.03, including 10 percent tip built in.  Plus $3 tip for delivery girl.
• Ordering quilt by Lily, who was one or two years ahead of us in high school  and among the first girls to run cross-country in Bergen Countyt--about $43. She lives in an Airstream in PA and was selling her pretty quilts on Insta: @LilyNaney.

8/6 and 8/7

2 ATM bank fees, $6.

Thai takeout for 4 plus tip, $61 (Sis paid another $20)

Entry in poetry contest, $5.

Souvenir shop on route 6, tie-dye shirt for P, Cape Cod mug, large tube Ocean Potion sunscreen, flip flops because mine broke up here, Cape Cod car magnet, $42.01. (It was $20 more than that, but Sis insisted on giving me $20 to pay for the flip flops. Big sisters.)

Bob’s roadside lunch, Sis treated, but pricey, so I chipped in $15.

Cumberland Farms convenience store [shoppers in masks, social distance], dozen eggs, 2 gal water, Vanity Fair magazine, $15.

Money for Punch to do bumper boats etc w friend, $20 (Dan had originally given friend’s mom $40.)

Saturday Aug 8

• Pure Vita Cape Cod, glass spray bottle of Katie’s signature all-purpose cleaner* and her organic facial cleanser, w orange 🍊 oil, coconut oil, poppy seeds etc. $37.98.
• Ice cream truck at pond for Punch and pal, $5.
• Chocolate & Coffee place on corner, iced coffee, 2 bottled waters for Sis’s drive home, pink flamingo lights phone charger cord, $22.
• Pure cacao bars from California, ordered, $54.35 w shipping protection.

*The all -purpose cleaner is great. P dropped an Italian sub on the white rug and I sprayed it down and rubbed with wet white paper towel. I think the stain is all gone. Also like it for microwave and counters.

Sunday Aug 9

• Shell Gas station, Eastham. Fill tank, $36. Fill red gas jug to use in lawn mower up here, $4.33.

Monday, 8/10 and other days?

Chatham

• Beautiful book, $19.12.
  

Wellfleet

• The Blue Willow food shop, medium-size ham + cheese croissant, large iced coffee and signature breakfast sandwich on freshly baked cinnamon bun to bring to Punch, bag of Blue Willow coffee beans to grind and brew at home in NJ, plus tip, $26.95, https://www.bluewillowcapecod.com/ (Small shop, only one person or party allowed in at a time. BTW, wherever we enter, masks are required.))

Eastham

• Sam’s Deli, 2 jars good Paesana marinara sauce, large tube Alba aloe gel ( Punch is sunburned on nose), bag of  Beanstock Wellfleet blend coffee beans, local Four Sisters granola,jar of Stonewall Kitchen fig jam + tip, $54.90.
• U.S.Post Office, gift card for Figgy, sheet of Forever stamps, 2 red heart padded envelopes for future, $40.73.

Tuesday, 8/11, drive home

• Hot Chocolate Sparrow, large iced coffee for car, 2 bottled waters, $6.47.
• Rest stop in CT, a couple small chocolate milks to have on hand for P (they didn’t have plain, and our power was out 2+ days at home), small bag cashews, bag of Ritz Bits PB cracker sandwiches to share. About $12.50.

Since returning from Cape Cod, oy:

• Amazon, big Sqirl Jam Book + Lilly Pulitzer grocery tote, $42.05.
• Instacart, groceries, $125.
• Instacart, groceries, $77.26.
• Instacart, groceries, $91.24.
• Instacart, groceries, $110.21.
• Moss & More, $120, including nice gift for someone.
• Barn sale with Sis, $25?
• Farm stand with Sis, $30?
• Help pay dinner tip when friend paid bill, $10.
• CVS, including Oribe Gold Lust Repair & Restore Shampoo, $100?
• Groceries, Kings, $31.50.
• MALIN+GOETZ, peppermint scrub + lip gloss, free ship, $52.25.
• Vesta Chocolate, hot coffee, $4.53.
• T.S. Ma, Chinese takeout entree, lasted for dinner and lunch, $15.40.
• Kings, groceries, $54.56.
• ATM bank fee, $3.
• CVS, morning family left for Maine, w Punch for Rx, snacks for their 

road trip, ear buds and charger for her iPad, bday gift for Maine niece, etc. about $100?

Ongoing monthly spend for August as of 8/25: $1,943.21.

Average daily spend: $77.73.

__________________________

LAST MONTH

total out-of-pocket SPEND AS OF 7/30 before leaving for Cape 7/31

$2,637.07.

AVG DAILY SPEND: $87.90.