Above: A labyrinth walk, a way to pray. I had never seen one until Saturday, at a venerable old church in Montclair. This take on a medieval labyrinth with a pine needle path is in Portland, Maine. I want to go on my next trip up.
I’m not talking about the kind of prayers I turned to over the years, when I phoned a friend in the sky to make a plea. As in, God, please:
- Let me go to sleep without being afraid of what might happen in the dark, like Mary might appear at my bedside in a moonbeam and ask me to be a nun, and I don’t want that, and how would I say no to the Blessed Mother? People are chosen for vocations. Please don’t let her ask. Thanks, God.
- Help me and my friends arrive safely on this big plane to California (that flight in our 20s).
- Let Dan and me have a baby.
- Help me ask for a raise effectively, without panic and fear. (That day at Good Housekeeping Magazine, I also prayed to the Blessed Mother and thought of my Italian immigrant grandmother, Rosie, and how she would be proud of me. Not sure if they intervened? I knocked over the wastebasket on way into my boss’s office.)
- Bless Sis.
- Guide and watch over Figgy.
- Guide and watch over Punch (and also, J.)
- Bless Dad and keep him safe.
No, this week my prayers have been different. I’ve landed on a deeper, more spiritual path.
On Saturday, I did an indoor labyrinth walk for the first time ever with my friend Sunny (blog name). Powerful, v. powerful. A man sat near for the two-hour window (11 to 1, but you set your time) playing the Celtic harp. So very beautiful: “Amazing Grace,” “How Great Thou Art,” “Be Not Afraid."
Today, I caught a ride to 8 a.m. Mass at the historic Catholic Church on North Fullerton Avenue and then centering prayer for Lent with a small group of women, led by my fun-loving yet deeply spiritual friend Susie (blog name).
Open to prayer, open to grace. Back at my desk now.
How about you? Do you pray?
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this is lovely, Alice. I guffawed at the "don't ask me to be a nun" bit, but other than that, it's so delicate and lovely. Do I pray? Not as much as I used to and the nature of my prayers have morphed quite a bit more to intense wishing. But I do think all beseeching has immense power.
ReplyDeleteoof, that's Kim. sheesh
ReplyDeleteKim, thank you for the feedback. I realized that one of my favorite things about blogging is not just formulating/crystallizing my thoughts to help process them as words but also to stay connected to friends like you, on the other side of the screen, in their own homes and lives. I hear you re fervent wishing. Love Alice
DeleteAnne Lamont, one of the few religious writers I read regularly, says all prayers are really one of three: “Help”; “Thanks”; or “Wow!”. I don’t know to whom I am praying, but to be honest, I have been known to pray a version of each of these three from time to time. Inarticulately, silently, more a deep feeling than any words.
ReplyDelete—Nan
Nan, thanks for writing here. I love Anne L’s writing so much. So much. I even went with Moey once to a Barnes and Noble in Paramus, I think, to an Anne L. book signing to meet her in person. Thank you for reminding me of her “help, thanks, wow” prayer theory. Yes, yes. I would say help, thanks or wow pretty well sums up praying. Yet I would say that I tend to pray help more than thanks or wow and would like to better remember the latter two. It’s interesting that you were raised in a faith but are not sure to whom you are praying. I know our visions and beliefs morph over time. Love Alice
ReplyDeleteAlice, what good questions and deep thoughts on this important topic. As you know I do try to meditate daily, but something we have never discussed, is I try to pray daily as well. My father an important theologian in my life, knew I was always questioning. I was never sure about religion, a member of a family with a complicated religious dynamic, (Catholic, AME Zion, Pentecostal, Jewish & Unitarian Universalist) kept my thoughts and my actions in relationship to GOD a dynamic one. My father said we should not think of God as a genie granting wishes. Because unlike the genie God’s answer might be NO. So do not bother to ask in pray for anything but strength of character. But the one thing my father said and I still try to honor is that no matter where my belief or feelings about religion and God might be I should take a moment and simply thank God for all that they have done for me and mine on a daily basis. When I was going through an atheist or agnostic phase and felt there was no God, it was a way of showing appreciation for all that I had and a way of honoring my father, with whom I had a difficult relationship. When I was feeling connected to the miracle of life, spirit, nature, it was an opportunity to express genuine gratitude to the universe and when I was feeling sad and down, it was a way of holding on to whatever might be good in my life. All in all meditation- especially labyrinth, pranayama, yoga practice and my daily prayer have been ways of practicing self compassion that renew my spirit. Be well, Sunny
ReplyDeleteSunny, hi! I love that thoughtful note and especially this part: My father said we should not think of God as a genie granting wishes. Because unlike the genie God’s answer might be NO. So do not bother to ask in pray for anything but strength of character. But the one thing my father said and I still try to honor is that no matter where my belief or feelings about religion and God might be I should take a moment and simply thank God for all that they have done for me and mine on a daily basis.” Your father sounds wise and perceptive. I talked to my Dad about prayer, but in a much more limited way, and when I was a young girl. I often wish I had spoken to both of my parents, and to my grandmothers, about prayer. Both grandmothers (Irish Alice and Italian Rosie) had rosary beads. My mother went with her mother to Novenas at St. Mary’s Church. Love Alice
DeleteYup. I do, mostly for protection of loved ones, for strength, and thanks.
ReplyDeleteLiz
Yes, Liz. I think I have heard you use the phrase “keep [NAME] in your prayers.” I like that, protection, strength and thanks. xoAlice
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