In Maine, Melancholy, Family, Blueberries & the Mountaintop

                    The movie "Peyton Place" was filmed in and around Belfast and Camden. Image from here.

Dan and I arrived Wednesday at 5:30 p.m., in time for an event to celebrate his brother David Hurley's 34-foot "Sturgeon" mural, newly mounted near Penobscot Bay in Belfast. 

The Hurley family is large, and earned gold-star attendance, from Mary, the matriarch, almost 94, to her sons (missing Patrick only), daughter, two granddaughters. Of course, Dave's wife, Sheila, their three smart, handsome grown sons and one lovely daughter-in-law. (Mary has six other grandchildren who were not there.)

Dave is a gifted artist. This is important public art. The sturgeon is steeped in history and the long Native American name for the river here relates to the fish. Dave met with the historian from the Penobscot Nation, and brought in a father and son from the Burnurwurbskek Singers, an indigenous drumming and singing group. Mary and I, sitting arm to arm in the crowd, loved the drumbeat.

The refreshments were clever: Homemade peanut butter, mini chocolate chip and other flavor cookies rolled and cut into large fish shapes, almost 6 inches long. Bowls of red Swedish Fish and Goldfish crackers. (The snacks reminded me of the Smarties candy I brought for Dan's Smarter book signing in Montclair. )

But soon after, the melancholy set in. The blues.

Tired, mopey, feeling sorry for myself. More coffee. Why bother? Look how I'm aging. Look how we are all aging. I don't like my hair color; it's too brown. My hair is not as full. My mother-in-law is in her nineties. Look, look how life gets in the end. So many days, she doesn't feel good. See how a woman ages. I never saw my own mother old like this. It's scary.

We won't be here forever. It's sad. I'm low-energy. I used to hike and walk much farther and faster.  Now, I'm just too tired. I might as well take a morning nap and let Dan go alone to watch that cardboard boat race. Why should I go? I don't want to laugh.

I was 26 on my first visit to Maine. Reverse the numbers for my age now.

And this is my first trip up in 28 years that did not include one or both girls. Figgy is working at her new job at the university and Skippy chose to be with her boyfriend and his Dad in Pennsylvania. I missed them both. I was glad for the liberty to focus on just Dan's and my plans but sad for the way it feels to be an empty nester on vacation. Seeing young Figgy in my mind's eye on a mountaintop, scrambling for blueberries like the bear cub in Blueberries for Sal and Skippy, age 7, walking in and around the Camden shops with me. I am also sad about growing older, having some health problems and worries.

Tomorrow morning, after coffee with family, we are heading to Mary's to say goodbye and then drive back home. 

I did hit some trusty Maine high notes here though, with and without Dan:

• Tiny wild Blue Barrens Farm blueberries at the Belfast Co-op, about $5.50 for a pint. So many, and so mini. 
• Quick pop into the Glendarragh Farm Lavender Store on Main Street in Camden. Beautiful hair clips, lavender honey, wool throws and more. I bought a glass bottle of lavender hand soap for my sister-in-law and a tube of hand cream to soothe myself at bedtime.
• Two brothers (Dan and John) and I drove up the auto road to Mount Battie in Camden Hills State Park. I will never, ever tire of that view of the Camden cove, or of Edna St. Vincent Millay's lyric words on the plaque up there. She lived in Camden and I want to explore some of her papers one day in the Camden Public Library*.
• Walk on the rail trail this evening. Pretty.
• View of the bay from our first two nights at Fireside Inn & Suites in Belfast. Rolling hill, atmospheric weather.
• Family dinners with Pat and Martha, who hosted us for three more nights. :)
• Mike took Dan and me out for a boat ride in an old motorboat Pat bought over 30 years ago. It was nice.
• Young's Lobster Pound.

*Per Wikipedia: Camden Public Library also shares Mt. Battie's view. It has the first couplets of "Renascence" inscribed along the perimeter of a large skylight: "All I could see from where I stood / Was three long mountains and a wood; / I turned and looked another way, / And saw three islands in a bay."^[71] The library's Walsh History Center collection contains the scrapbooks created by Millay's high-school friend, Corinne Sawyer, as well as photos, letters, newspaper clippings, and other ephemera.