The Big Magic of a Small Kettle Pond

At 6 P.M., I took a swim in Great Pond with Nikki, age 10. Nikki adores Great Pond, and wants to go there every single day we are on the Cape. Her mom, my friend Anne, does not like to swim in the kettle pond, but prefers to sit in a beach chair bundled in sweat pants and a sweat shirt, which amuses me and Nikki no end.

The water was warm. I floated on my back and thought of Dad. I felt his love as I kicked my feet up and put my head back. He taught me to float in the ocean. Happy memories. Nikki and I pretended we were mermaids [her idea], planning our imaginary dinner on clam-shell plates. Nikki showed me how to swim like a mermaid. And she asked me if I open my eyes under water. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no.

I love the feeling of the pond. It feels so far removed from life in a busy New Jersey suburb. The small beach, the docked boats, the dog fetching a ball in the water. The same lifeguard stand that was there when I was a teen, now in need of a clean coat of paint.

I love how the pond is surrounded by trees. I love the open sky, and the grassy reeds over on the side, where I found a baby turtle to show Figgy when she was maybe 8. When I stand in that pond in my swimsuit, I take stock of how my life is going, how it's been, what I hope for, how the ground feels underneath. Is it steady? Is it shifting? Can it change? What are my dreams? What means the most in life?

I love the peace of the simple kettle pond. It is still, so you can hear your thoughts. Good night.

TCOY

1. Walked from the Three Sisters Lighthouses to Nauset Light Beach [short, gentle path] with Nikki and Sug this morning.
2. We three walked the trails at the Wellfleet Bay Wildlife Sanctuary and saw turtles and tadpoles and birds.
3. Hot bubble bath with Neutrogena Rainbath.
4. About to read and go to sleep early!!!!