|Holly Golightly is generally upbeat--even her name, Go Lightly, says something.|
"We know that never getting over old hurts, never moving beyond them, is a sign of depression," Joanna said. From my perch on the beige couch, hugging a velvet throw pillow to my chest, I saw myself holding the old jagged rocks, turning them round and round in my hand to get a better view, to see a sharp edge. Aha, look at that, how terrible. I do that a lot. What if I didn't? I found myself also thinking of Dad and of my brothers, who did/do seem to hold onto old hurts, too.
I am like a baby with a pacifier, needing it, drawing comfort from it, clinging to it for dear life. You know how hard it is to break your baby's pacifier habit?
And this insight, this thought bubble, stayed with me all day. Look forward, look ahead, I told myself. The part you can change is the part still to come.
This propelled me through my day with good hope and goodwill. I also liked wearing my black tights, new pencil skirt and Tory Burch sweater to carry me through the mire. Never underestimate the power of fashion.
- Private Benjamin appointment [pls. see above].
- Walked Sug around the block once. Patsy always reminds us that losing weight is 80 percent what you eat and 20 percent exercise. So if I only exercise a little some days, it's ok. Not good to force myself to always exercise a lot and then overeat out of exhaustion.
- Big news...I chose a medium latte vs. a mocha with whip at my favorite coffee place in town [the Red Eye on Walnut Street]. Yay for me.