When I was a college freshman, I befriended Fifi, a Lebanese woman who came to clean the bathroom and vacuum the hallways in the New Gibbons dorm at Douglass College.
She wore a maroon uniform and gold earrings, and we smiled at each other. My mother wasn't sick with cancer yet, dying or gone, yet for some reason I seemed to be seeking out motherly traits in others. Maybe I just missed my Mom.
Today I allowed myself to read and rest in the afternoon. Things have been trying. [The cleaning lady connection is coming.]. Figgy is taking a leave of absence from Parsons [given until September 2014] and coming back home Sunday. She has had a hard time settling in; we don't fully understand why ourselves. Seems to me a big pull from forces in town here. We tried to convince her to stay the semester, even drop a course or two. But no. Appears it has been difficult to separate from home, which is why it's worrisome that she's coming back. She'll have to get a job.
Anyway, today when I napped, I dreamt I was in Figgy's dorm room and a petite cleaning lady was there. Figgy had set up a tabletop Christmas tree early; it was on her dresser. I pointed to Figgy at her desk in the adjoining room and said in a low voice "She's leaving school," then dissolved into tears in the arms of the cleaning lady. She cried with me. I felt supported. Finally, I had to pull away. The lady let me know that.
Rereading that makes me think that cleaning lady in Fig's room was my mother. Does that means she's watching out for her, or me or both of us? Am I hoping Figgy has connected with other kind "mothers" in her life?
TCOY
She wore a maroon uniform and gold earrings, and we smiled at each other. My mother wasn't sick with cancer yet, dying or gone, yet for some reason I seemed to be seeking out motherly traits in others. Maybe I just missed my Mom.
Today I allowed myself to read and rest in the afternoon. Things have been trying. [The cleaning lady connection is coming.]. Figgy is taking a leave of absence from Parsons [given until September 2014] and coming back home Sunday. She has had a hard time settling in; we don't fully understand why ourselves. Seems to me a big pull from forces in town here. We tried to convince her to stay the semester, even drop a course or two. But no. Appears it has been difficult to separate from home, which is why it's worrisome that she's coming back. She'll have to get a job.
Anyway, today when I napped, I dreamt I was in Figgy's dorm room and a petite cleaning lady was there. Figgy had set up a tabletop Christmas tree early; it was on her dresser. I pointed to Figgy at her desk in the adjoining room and said in a low voice "She's leaving school," then dissolved into tears in the arms of the cleaning lady. She cried with me. I felt supported. Finally, I had to pull away. The lady let me know that.
Rereading that makes me think that cleaning lady in Fig's room was my mother. Does that means she's watching out for her, or me or both of us? Am I hoping Figgy has connected with other kind "mothers" in her life?
Good night.
TCOY
- Read, rested.
- Walked Sug around block.
- Went to horse stables with Punch after school, to sign her up for a lesson. Liked seeing the barn and the horses and the women in riding pants.
- Made salmon, brown rice and broccoli for dinner.
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Aww, that is the sweetest dream. (But sad, too.) Good luck in your next wave of transitions.
ReplyDeleteEileen, I'm thanking you. love alice
ReplyDelete