Sunday, April 6, 2014
World's Biggest Loser--at Being a Placid Person
I'm ashamed of my behavior. I cursed and yelled at my family in front of my house last night. It's a long story but what I'm left with--despite their wrongs--is a heavy heart and a big satchel of regret. It's true--we can only control our own behavior. And now, I can only take charge of the moments and hours to come.
Yet the shopping addict in me got an instant lift when I saw the email from Barneys this morning featuring an interview with Elisabeth Moss [Peggy from "Mad Men"] and her style and beauty choices. If I were a rich woman, a couple clicks would momentarily salve my pain, I know it.
I'm not a rich woman but I do plan to scan the collection next time I'm in New York.
Right now I'm still trying to untangle the twisted thorns that cage my heart. I pray for peace, in me and around me.
And sometimes, forgive me, God, I wish for a different family. Maybe even a solitary life, in a beautiful home with white-washed furniture, aqua pillows, fuchsia flowering plants--and things that stay exactly where I put them.
Thank you for listening to my sad tale. I think it helps to share it. Though it does strike me as odd sometimes, almost like this blank page and you good readers are the priest--and I'm asking to be absolved.
Heavy stuff for a Sunday morning. Better days ahead.