Dream Roll: Two Alices in Manhattan

Per Wikipedia, a flapper image.

I was very close to my maternal grandmother, Alice. More than once as we sat in her sparsely furnished, second-floor Dumont apartment, she said mischievously from her old wood rocking chair, I was a flapper. Her dark eyes twinkled, and she smiled. She also married my grandfather, an Irish immigrant, when she was 17 and he was 34.

Last night, I had a nightmare. I was so glad it wasn't real. It went on and on. When I woke from it, at about 6:30 a.m., I wanted to shake H. and tell him about it, but he had been sleeping fitfully in the heat, so I didn't.

The dream took place in New York City---uptown and then midtown, near Times Square. This will sound supercreepy, but my grandmother was chasing me around, and I was running for my life. I think she wanted to kill me. I was granted a few wishes, one after another, that gave me another chance to live. But I was in constant fear, no matter what I was doing and who I was with, that she was watching me and would find me. In the final scene, she was in flapper attire, with a black, jeweled and feathered hat. She looked young, maybe 30 or 40. Her onyx eyes glittered. Her smile was healthy and flawless but she was baring her teeth. [I told you this was creepy.] It was so unsettling. We were over near Penn Station then.

I woke up in bed, my heart pounding.

I had my therapy appointment today [my code word for that is Private Benjamin]. My therapist is wise. He pointed out that there were two Alices in the dream, and that maybe I was ready to leave the fear-filled one behind, and move more toward the powerful one. He also said that teeth are a sign of, I think, animal power. So maybe powerless Alice vs. powerful one.

Any thoughts welcome. I still can't shake the memory of this bizarre and disturbing dream.

Meanwhile, I hate this heat. Sitting in front of A.C. to work a little. New goal on horizon. Will keep you posted.

Good night, sweet dreams. No nightmares!!!!

TCOY

1. Walked Sug around block with Punchy and her small pal.
2. Ate Brussels sprouts again, and a little watermelon and one fresh cherry--even two steamed asparagus spears with breakfast [Weight Watchers recipe].
3. Probably drank a gallon of ice water.
4. Nap.
5. Private Benjamin.
6. Work prep.