Don't Step on My New Suede Shoes

$ OUT OF POCKET

• I was an emotional wreck yesterday. Let's chalk it up to attending a deeply spiritual 2-day women's retreat and returning to an imperfect life that calls for me to tap deep into my soul for patience, calm and kindness under some trying circumstances. Today, before I walked to town for work, I received a bday card w generous gift--$25 cash. So on my way to town, I popped into Williams-Sonoma. I'm trying not to buy books, but like many fans, I have almost every one of Ina Garten's. Her new book was there, and the store was offering 20 percent off all purchases. I could have gotten it cheaper on Amazon but it looked so good, I wanted it now. And the card was from a special couple, Mr. & Mrs. C. So..it was $28 instead of $35. A meaningful gift from two people I love. I flipped through and found some healthy [NON DESSERT] recipes already. Add tax, $29.86. 
• Easy come, easy go? I also received a $150 kill fee check in the mail basket. [If you're not a freelance writer, FYI, a kill fee is paid when a publication/website doesn't use your assigned work, for reasons that usually have nothing to do with the merit of your writing. In this case, I was supposed to earn $500 for a website piece--a good rate for a short web piece--but there was some confusion with the assignment, I guess. I've written for them before.] So I decided that I really had been needing a new pair of shoes--both that and a quick fix for a broken spirit. Black suede Brenda Zaro shoes....pumps for my everyday dresses & skirts life....bought at shoe store right across the street from Joyist. Made in Spain, elegant. Ladylike, low-cut. Definitely part of my work uniform/work polish & confidence. Let's call this turning a kill fee into a soul-saving gift. As if. The shoes are not rosary beads or a Bible. But as materialistic as it is, I revisit something I already said another day: Fashion softens my steps in life. $160.
• Joyist for work. Had a free reward on my punch card--got large mushroom/zucchini soup with small pc of flourless zucchini bread. $12 value. Purchased large organic latte and 1 slice avocado toast, $6 and $6. $12.
• Walked to Starbucks once Joyist closed at 5 p.m. Had reward on app, got $6.50 smoked turkey and Swiss protein box w apple and carrots free. 2-pack dark chocolate graham crackers plus $1 tip. $3.40.
• Oooops, almost forgot to report this, coming in under the wire at 9:30 p.m. as I toil at Starbucks, which closes 10 p.m. Many of my years-old tights are getting holy. I ordered a pair of Commando ultimate black opaque tights....they should last for a while and feel good to the touch. I just wish they didn't have such a high shipping rate from Vermont for a single pair of tights. [South Burlington, can't believe it. Next time I visit Meg & Greg, want to check it out. Had no idea.] $36 + $7 shipping. $43.

TOTAL $ OUT OF POCKET: $248.26.

TCOY

1. Prayer. I am finding it very hard to be endlessly patient w Punch, who often says mean and/or hurtful things to me, due to the situation she is in with us as her legal guardians. As in, "I'm not your daughter!", "You're not my mother!" and even "You're not Sugar's mother!" She says that last one when I say something like, "Sug, let Mama take you out." I'm feeling worn down.
2. Washed my face.
3. Good dental care.
4. Hot bubble bath.
5. Healthy grain bread.
6. Healthy food at Joyist.
7. Walk in and out of town, will be 50 minutes round trip.
8. Writing this post, taking a little time to examine my feelings and actions, even though I should be writing, producing the articles my editor needs. Getting back to that stat and lined up Dan to be with Punch so I can work into the night.
9. There's a new co-working space in town. It is $35/day or $139/five-pack for month, etc.. I am in the process of scheduling a complimentary day there. Full coffee menu but also Balthazar pastries, which I know will be hard to resist......