Solitude for the Soul

Every now and then, when he was irritated--I'm not sure about what, but maybe the house being messy--Dad would say I should have been a monk! He was very orderly, kept his papers just so. And I guess he loved peace and quiet. It must have been hard to find sometimes, sharing a bed in the Bronx with his two older brothers and then raising four kids in the suburbs.

I've cherished my solitude today in this tidy little cabin. It's been pouring for hours, but it was nice this morning. At about 12:40 [who's counting?], H. drove Fig and Punch up to Pushaw Lake to his sister's family's summer camp. [You know, Mainers call their vacation homes camps.] It's more than an hour from here to there and we're all going there again tomorrow for a big family party, so I opted to stay home. 

I fell asleep for a long time, took a pampering shower and made a simple dinner in the petite kitchen. Fresh torn spinach, ripe tomato, shallow bowl of pasta with local pesto, a little crumbled goat feta from Sunset Acres Farm & Dairy in Brooksville, ME.  [Wow, just checked website and there's one called Sea Smoke and one called Penobscot Fog. Will hunt for them in Co-op tomorrow.]

I ate at this small wood table on this baby screened porch, looking at the bay and listening to the rain. Rain isn't so bad when you're inside, warm and dry. I want to take home a lesson for living from that. Life, at least mine, will have its downpours and whipping winds, lightning bolts and bracing chills. But if we can stay warm and dry--meaning balanced, calm and steady--that can be a comfort. We can build a roof with wisdom, insight and inner strength. We can weave a warm blanket from hard-won experience. And we can take care of ourselves to stay on even ground--planning the nourishing spinach and tomato, instead of standing at the counter tearing open a box of cookies and eating them with abandon.

I'm still at this table. It's been seven hours since my family left and they will return soon, minus Punchy, who was dying to spend a night with her cousins. I just hope she goes to sleep on time, doesn't keep everyone up.

Going to read. Good night.