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Wednesday, February 7, 2018

The Word RAGE Is Buried in ANGER

I'm updating this with pink sentences at 11:55 a.m. the morning after, to incorporate a comment from my doctor. I thought about it as I was drifting to sleep.

I’m so cranky and bitter and mean tonight. It’s a long story and I feel too cranky, bitter and mean to tell it. I am furious at 2/3 of the people under my roof. Not even a hot bath could help; I tried.

"People are going to let you down," my doctor said recently. "That is life." He has a Spanish accent, what appears to be a good heart, the ability to prescribe antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds--and a sign outside his office door that says TODO ES POSIBLE [EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE]. I think about his comment a lot, but I still get angry when people let me down.

4 comments:

  1. I get like that, too...at my own family. You’re not alone.

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    1. Sheriann, we have never met, but I thank you for your compassion. Sincerely, Alice

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  2. hope something good comes your way, Alice, and if it doesn’t, hope you find someone worth being nice to today, because it is clear that your default is to be kind and cheerful, and the hell with those who don’t help!
    Liz

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    1. Liz, thank you, but while it was legit that I was let down, I really blew my top in an unacceptable way, saying very mean things. I will work to forgive myself and move on and be my best person, but I am currently mired in shame and guilt. Such is the cycle and it is painful—the anger for my family and the aftermath for us all. I thank you for caring and being kind. Love Alice

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