Let me tell you how it works. It's a misnomer. It isn't emotional. It is unemotional, because you don't feel your feelings, but avoid them.
When you grab the pillowy, pretty, pale pink peppermint marshmallow and plunge it into dark chocolate melted in the microwave and dig a plastic spoon into the pumpkin cheesecake pie, it isn't emotional.
It is the avoidance of emotion. You won't feel the pain and sorrow and regret of eating those things till later. You have a buffer, or so you think.
If you hadn't succumbed, you would have had to face the emptiness, sorrow, disappointment, anger and dagger of mistrust. Sometimes, that is too much to bear.
Good night.
TCOY
When you grab the pillowy, pretty, pale pink peppermint marshmallow and plunge it into dark chocolate melted in the microwave and dig a plastic spoon into the pumpkin cheesecake pie, it isn't emotional.
It is the avoidance of emotion. You won't feel the pain and sorrow and regret of eating those things till later. You have a buffer, or so you think.
If you hadn't succumbed, you would have had to face the emptiness, sorrow, disappointment, anger and dagger of mistrust. Sometimes, that is too much to bear.
Good night.
TCOY
- Boot camp in the park.
- Walked Puff around block once.
- Afternoon nap.
- Saw "Hitchcock" with H. Good!!!!
- Ordered caesar salad with shrimp @ restaurant.
Posts
It sounds like you are in a place of truly understanding your emotional reasons for eating and express them so vividly. I am sorry that you are feeling the pain that you are feeling, but how wonderful that you are so acutely aware of the why! That has to be a good thing. And your previous post about moving past the jagged pain... good, too. Not easy, but good. This relationship with food, how we use it, is so universal to many of us. Thank you for being so publicly honest. Love, Your Cousin/Friend.
ReplyDeleteOh man, you just TOTALLY nailed it for me! I am so right there with you. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteNever thought of it like that, but you are exactly right, Alice. Sometimes I eat badly because I need the buffer from my emotions. Great post!
ReplyDeleteLiz
Hi Lin and Nan and Liz...thank you for being there, and reading, and writing me a note. I am glad you could relate....I hope all is well and that we all have a good week :) alice
ReplyDelete