Day 12, CPAP Doctor Visit

And...there's a Smashburger right next to his office. I usually get lunch after the appointment, before scooting on Route 80 West to the Parkway South to return to Montclair. Today I got a delicious mushroom Swiss truffle grilled chicken sandwich on small multigrain bun. No sides. In the past, I was greatly tempted and sometimes succumbed to the very good fries and milkshakes.

What's different by day 12 is that the cravings have decreased. I was not even tempted. That's a very big change.

I think my weight was a couple pounds down since my last visit to that doctor 6 months ago. [I subtracted for my Tory Burch silver sandals today.] Nearly two years in, my CPAP is working. It was a learning curve. But now my oxygen is good. I'm not tired all day. I no longer get up to pee during the night. Dan says I don't gasp for air and stop breathing anymore.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Smashburger chicken sandwich and free cup of ice water, $8.95.
• Whole Foods Montclair again. I went for the lox, $19.99 per lb. I left with 18 items and a bill of $166.08. I also wanted to get Punch the Hydro Flask insulated water bottle she has wanted for school since August. When she and I were in this store the other day, there were only a few left, and today there were two. Fortunately, one was bright yellow, the color she wanted. Bottle, $29.95; good sourdough bread, $5.93; Boca vegan burgers, $5; half-gallon organic milk, $3.50; frozen toaster waffles, $3.50; chicken sausages, $7; pound of fresh figs!, $6; quart small local strawberries; 4-oz bag Hu Kitchen chocolate vanilla cashews, $7 [the 6 oz. bag online is $10 plus $10 shipping, so I figured this was good]; fancy cheese on sale, $6; lb. marinated salmon, $14; quart half and half, $3; big bag shelled walnuts, $7; and a splurge, but 3-pack of beautiful fall scented soy candles in jar, each burns 20+ hours, $32 [going for $35 + shipping at pfcandleco.com,]; feta cheese, $6; and 2 gallons water to use in my CPAP machine. But I think I better now stay out of Whole Foods for a while. PLANNED FAMILY DINNER FOR ALL OF US TONIGHT, MAKING BIG PLATTER WITH LOX, SOURDOUGH, GARDEN BASIL OLIVE OIL, CHEESES, NUTS, FRESH FIGS, THOSE SMALL STRAWBERRIES. I EVEN HAVE VEGAN "feta" CHEESE BUT IT'S NOT THAT GREAT.
• CPAP doctor/pulmonologist, specialist co-pay, $50.
• ATM bank fees, $7.
• Charity donation, Covenant House, $30.
• Java Love, Punch Love Child drink and a cookie plus tip, $7.47.

TOTAL DAILY SPEND: $269.50.

RUNNING TOTAL FOR MONTH AS OF SEPTEMBER 11: $992.42.

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $90.22.

Big-ticket 🎟🎟 September spends:

🎟 Citarella at Hudson Yards, dinner; plus fresh fruit, etc. to bring home, $35.

🎟 Whole Foods, groceries, including present for Fig and big yellow mum plant, $84.

🎟 Whole Foods, groceries, including salmon for dinner and an iced coffee from the barista, $63.

🎟 ShopRite, groceries, laundry detergent etc., $50.

🎟 Sky Zone [worth it, Punchy went with her nice friends], $25.

🎟 Joyist, $29.

🎟 Kings, groceries, $46.

🎟 Piazza della Sole, comfy, high-end shoes, half-price, $90.
🎟 Gasoline, twice, $52.
🎟 Chinese lunch with Sis, $33.
🎟 Grocery shopping in Connecticut w Sis, $48.
🎟 CPAP dr. co-pay, specialist, $50.
🎟 Whole Foods again, including 3-pack soy candle, pound smoked salmon and Hydro Flask, $166.

Reminder to Self: What I Wrote August 30

And I add white breads to this list--Italian, French, Wonder [yes, Dan sometimes buys that soft, airy junk for Punch], etc.

I’ve been on shaky ground w carb consumption this week. Being on a low budget doesn’t help. I cooked pasta for Punch and two friends at lunch today. Nice and cheap, $1.49 per pound.
I’d like to sketch out a plan of triggers to avoid:

1. Bagels. Too big.
2. Donuts, cakes, cookies.
3. Fried foods, including potato chips.
4. Ice cream. I had my ultimate chocolate-dipped vanilla custard cone of the summer on the Cape earlier this month.
5. Sweetened cereals.
6. Candy and chocolate.
7. Pizza. If possible. Sometimes it’s whats for dinner.
8. Sweetened coffee drinks.
9. Pasta. Also a tough one.
10. Crackers, pretzels.

And ADD more salads, brown rice, Ezekiel bread, steamed vegs, fresh fruit, unsweetened cereal, turkey on good rye bread.

Newport News: #MealAsMedicine, Teen Rehab

Newport Academy believes in the superpower of healthy food.

The press lunch drew writers and psychologists and psychologist/writers,
such as the bearded fellow on the left. Please notice the party favors--lovely little burlap pouches
that held sandalwood mala beads handmade in Nepal for Newport Academy.

I've been to many press events and media launches, from seeing sultry Catherine Deneuve in the 1980s at the French Embassy [to celebrate her new fragrance] to nibbling on button-size cupcakes with Lilly Pulitzer execs at the LeSportsac store in SoHo the year the bag company rolled out floral Lilly patterns. I bought a crossbody that night, and still love it. [It's machine washable.]

Whether working on staff or as a freelancer, my Inner Marketer has always loved these parties. So clever, the way the PR firms pull off events and deliver the message. Jane Cosmetics once took a busload of magazine beauty editors to Gurney's in Montauk in the Hamptons for spa treatments and a lobster dinner [I, the Lifestyle Writer, went by default]. I tasted my first fabulous Better Nutter [big exquisite PB sandwich cookie by Thomas Keller] from Bouchon Bakery at a press event for Samsung when it had a big space in The Shops at Columbus Circle, where the bakery still is.

So there I was Wednesday in NYC at a press lunch for Newport Academy, a place that treats teens with substance abuse problems, anxiety, depression, eating disorders and more. It's a rehab facility with locations in beautiful areas such as Newport Beach, California and Litchfield County, Connecticut. 

I had/have looming work deadlines, should have sat at my desk to write but something about this invitation intrigued me. My own beloved daughter, Figgy, dealt with an eating disorder starting in high school that could have taken her tender young life. Dan and I, but mostly Fig, I think, had to do hard work to fight that--with a team of experts. Fig is thriving now at 22 as a biology major at Montclair State. We are very proud of her and she is very proud of herself. So when Newport Academy press releases pop up in my in box, I find it hard to click "delete" before reading them.

I took notes. I met many Newport A. staffers, who wear preppy navy blazers with the academy emblem. If you check the website and "meet the team," you will see the blazers, sweaters and shirts. I like them. Jamison Monroe, Founder and CEO, told us from the head of the farm table that he had abused his Adderall and Ritalin through high school and college and that it was a "dark time for my family and me." His family sent him to several residential places. So he understands.

Check this:

• Jamison called the philosophy "unconditionally-loved driven treatment." Yes. That is important. Your beloved child may be trapped in a maze of dark walls in her mind, unable to escape. You love her anyway, and always, even if that darkness makes her behave in troubling and scary ways. It is hard. It can be terrifying, truly, for the parents. and of course for the teen. I remember once, our dear Figgy lying on a hospital gurney at a rather rough E.R. near the excellent residential program where she was for around 10 days. "Mommy, promise me you will never leave me," she said. I promised.
• Newport A. offers equine-assisted psychotherapy, yoga, art, music. I won't lie. It does sound pricey. "Ninety-five percent of the fees are paid by insurance," said Jamison, a blue-eyed native Texan--good-looking in a clean-cut, astronaut kind of way. He has a 1-year-old baby.
• The food served at Newport A. is pure and healthful. The point is that when triggers like sugar, caffeine and processed junk foods are removed, it "quiets the front part of the brain," so that teens have a better chance at calm and mindful recovery.
• We also heard from Jeffrey Zurofsky, who co-founded 'wichcraft and masterminded the fabulous lunch. He directs the food programming across all nine Newport A. campuses. He talked about the holistic approach to well-being, the farm-to-table movement [chickens roam, eggs are used for meals] and--the way things are done at dinner. "Serve your neighbor first, you don't serve yourself. You serve the person next to you. And listen when the person says 'I would like less' or 'I would like more.'" [Remember, dealing with eating disorders and healthy balance.]
• Regarding the mala beads, which I absolutely love and am wearing now with my black, bell-sleeved dress as I work at home, the advice was to take a 108-bead rest before you make your coffee, send a text, etc. The strand is fashioned from 108 beads and the idea is to touch each and breathe in and out, being mindful.
• Oh, the meal? So good. No alcohol, but iced green tea or refreshing grapefruit spritzer and sparkling or still water. Excellent salads, one with nice shavings of Parmigiano-Reggiano. Bowls of lentils and legumes. So beautifully spiced. Lots of fresh, fragrant herbs. And for the meat eaters, large, shallow bowls of chicken [pictured above]. And by that time, I remembered to pass it to the person next to me rather than dig right in. 
• Dessert? Nope. Also felt cleansing and good. Just a coupla plates of fine dark chocolate bars with nibs, broken into squares. "It's from Seattle. Theo's," said Jamison. Yes, I know my chocolate. Only problem is, now craving the cookbook sold on Theo's site! I also scored a cup of contraband coffee, which was very, very good.
• I saw a couple of extra pouches of mala beads and the Newport staffer next to me, a kind and pretty blonde named Cara [sp], gave me the nod to take them for my two girls. Punchy and Figgy both loved them. Punch wore hers to school yesterday. And I took them to her therapy appointment on Wednesday afternoon, so Dr. G. could address mindful meditation. Believe you me, all of us in this family can use some mindful meditation.
• TBH, this whole lunch sparked a healthy dinner-table conversation in my home. While Fig had her pan-browned tofu and her friend, Punch and I had my delicious, healthy version of Silver Palate Chicken Marbella, spinach salad and baked yams, we talked about the philosophy. Figgy said that in her programs, dessert was served--after all, most of the girls were anorexic. So she found the no sugar rule no good. But I get it. As someone often unable to stop with sugar intake, I see that it is related to substance abuse, and I like the idea of clearing the front of the brain for mindful thinking. Below, our beautiful Figgy pictured on Christmas Day in Belfast, Maine and my Dad, a chemist in the lab in the late 1940s. Turns out Fig loves studying science just as her Grandpa [and Grandma, my mom] did.

Food for thought. All food for thought. I spent quite a while writing this, but I think the time investment was important. The topic is real.

Good day to us all.

Follow-up to Big Belly Post

BTW, I love the little girl who made the big belly comment [previous post].  Don't get me wrong. I do. I do not think her mom, a friend I treasure, reads my blog regularly. But if she does: I LOVE YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER.

But kids say what the rest of us are thinking sometimes.

So now I have been thinking, do all of these fashion and beauty flowers in my life do nothing to detract from a big Santa belly? Do these sleight-of-hand tricks do nothing to fool anyone?

1. The feminine bell sleeves on the black Julie Brown dress [sixe XL] I recently bought on sale at STITCH. I love that dress. I just do.
2. The beautiful blue earrings Dan got me for Christmas.
3. My wonderful, swingy, long Mary Marino necklaces, with pearls and tassel.
4. Chanel black mascara.
5. The soft black wrap sweater [OS, one size, amazingly] from STITCH. Wow, I see there's a lot of black here.
6. The cute Julie Brown sweater Dan bought me in Cape May for my January birthday.
7. My jar of DollyMoo Lunar Love Body Butter Blessing.

Food for thought.

Sunday Good/Bad/Ugly

GOOD
Finally got back to Joe’s restorative yoga class today. It was a gift, from the massage oil I rubbed into my inner wrists and temples to the wonderful resting poses with bolster, blocks and blankets—as the afternoon rain pelted the roof. We were safe inside. I haven’t purchased a block of classes in a while; I bought a set of five today. Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged.
BAD
Our garbage disposal in the sink is broken, yet again. This often causes our dishwasher to overflow. Good times.
UGLY
A lovely child, in innocence, asked me ‘“Why is your belly so big?”  I’m struggling mightily. Here I am trying to replace sweets with fruit, white bread with Ezekiel. I walked into the Little Daisy Bake Shop today and didn’t get a sample or a sweet, just a coffee to bring Figgy at work and a cute pack of Valentine hot cocoa mix for Punchy, to go with the Little Daisy little cup and red spoon I got her the other day. Sigh. Help?

Rock Candy Mountain

I had a hard day but a blowout smoothed things a bit and I also:

1. Started the morning w Cabot plain Greek yogurt, chopped apple, homemade muesli and a drizzle of honey.
2. Interviewed an expert for sugar essay who gave me great insights and ideas. Will share soon.
3. Did a load of delicate wash in Woolite—including my Wolford tights and Punchy’s slim little pale pink jeans.
4. Washed my face. 
5. Brushed my teeth.
6. Made a healthy dinner, ideas from my friend Rachael: pistachio-crusted salmon fillets; mashed potatoes w roasted garlic; and steamed carrots, green beans and broccoli.
7. Bought a special, sparkly Valentine gift for Punchy’s Mimi, have one on hold for Sis.
8. Started reading The Perfect Nanny. Sad that it’s based on a true story about a nanny in NYC who murdered two of the sweet little children in her care—her trial is impending—but it is a well-written page turner.
9. Napped briefly on couch.