Working It in Red Shoes

Tory Burch Georgia Ballet Flats in Triple Red suede, on sale now for $129. I love the square toe, but admit they will look better on a demure foot than in my size 11. But still....

Pops of crimson footwear rocked two nights in a row this week at NYC events.

At a Work Like a Girl Q & A Tuesday on the Upper West Side (led by Erika Ayers Badan, kick-ass CEO and thinker, with trend forecaster Valerie Jacobs), a woman in the audience wore fresh red flats with dark neutral pants. The pants were the foil and the shoes were the pretty, energizing grounding. Like all flats, they looked good worn barefoot (or with low-cut, no-show Peds). Your pant hem should not drag or pool over the skimmers. Trim cropped or skinny pants work best. The shape of the shoe was feminine, the way it framed the foot, but not unprofessional. Fun. Work Like a (Very Smart) Girl and look good doing it, too.

For the on-stage discussion between Katie Couric and Bobbi Brown at the 92nd Street Y re the new book Still Bobbi, Katie chose strappy red slingbacks with a kitten heel. Bare legs, white button-down shirt, black and white delicately patterned midi-length skirt. The shoes were everything. Smooth-looking, shapely legs help. Made me think about how I need to moisturize more with a nice body butter. (Hello, looking at Homecourt's new body collection.)

And there was an audience question about red lipstick. Can everyone wear it?

"Absolutely not," Bobbi said. The color makes a strong statement and not everyone can or even wants to own that. It depends on your personality, she noted. On who you are.

"Does anyone in the audience have on red lipstick tonight?" she asked, to prove her point. One woman near the front waved her hand and pointed proudly to her mouth. But the auditorium was darkened.

Oh, and Bobbi had a clean, short mani in Poppy, her signature orange-red color. I've seen her wearing it on Instagram. I bought it in town at the Jones Road store and I love it, for pedis and manis. My home mani lasted for 5+ days without chips, and I do a lot of dishes and garden without gloves. The kit includes a two-in-one base and top coat.

I enjoy soaking up events like these not just for style and substance watching but also for being at the heartbeat of it all, New York, New York. 

The magical ruby slippers Judy Garland, age 16, wore in "The Wizard of Oz," 1939. Showing their age here, and drab and depressing compared to today's color-drenched footwear. 

Photo from The Smithsonian.

As the Sand Passed Through the Hourglass

Note the little bulbs on the brown algae. Fig and I squeezed them to release a beauty treatment to work through our hair. After all, they sell seaweed shampoo at the store.

The surf was rough in Maine--I mean crashing and scary with Punch. Like, get back on the beach, this shark-infested water could kill you. I won't go into details. And it continued to be terrorizing last night, upon return at 11 p.m., and today.

If future me wants to remember the pain and fear (oh, yeah, that's what happened that trip), my code words are Fireside Inn, soap in can and bus ticket.

But there were still some nice moments amidst the fear and danger:

1. The wedding party at Mere Point for Leah and Greg.
2. Drive to Rockport with Figgy to my niece Anna's tiny house in the woods, built by her Dad. Fig had never been there. Anna served us coffee and fruit and Grape-Nuts with a high-protein yogurt I plan to buy. Icelandic, I think, and lemon-flavored without a lot of sugar. It was lovely to see her, and see the girls together.
3. A leisurely stop by the rocky coast to explore with my firstborn and a visit to Dot's Market in Lincolnville Beach, a pricey gourmet shop with a great edit. No, no, I did not notice any chocolate peanut butter cupcakes with fat caps of swirled icing. Nope.
4. Seeing my sisters-in-law (all four). That counts Therese, with a flower in her hair; Sheila, natural beauty and gifted cook (she filled the grill with hotdogs, burgers, chicken and street corn and managed it all); Martha, intellectual, funny, fit, blonde, insightful; and Eileen, Dan's capable, professional, stylish little sister, who moved up to Maine with my mother-in-law as a young girl.
5. Biking over the historic Belfast bridge, and then walking it another day when Fig roller-skated over the span.
6. Small talk with strangers on the bridge about dogs and fishing.
7. July Fourth cookout. Nice hotdog on grilled bun, homemade potato salad.
8. Seeing our nephews' little children--and the Dads we knew as boys.
9. Belfast Co-op.
10. Chamomile flowers. I bought a plant for Anna and one to plant here at home.
11. Baking a Blueberry Galette from a Down East-published book found in Southern Maine with Nancy. The crust was raggedy, hard and off-kilter, I piled the berries too high and the juice ran all over the cookie sheet instead of staying in the galette but it still tasted good. I tried. My life was/is raggedy, hard and off-kilter, so why shouldn't the galette be? Still, I liked gathering ingredients and baking in my sister-in-law Martha's yellow kitchen.
12. Visiting dear Leah at her house on my way home to NJ. Seeing her beautiful pocket gardens and paint colors and home office and pet bunny for the kids.
13. Seaweed hair treatment. Fig and I squeezed the clear juice from the bulbs on seaweed/kelp found in Belfast. Snap, squeeze, finger-comb through hair. We like doing things like that.
14. Cocktails (I had sun tea) at Pat and Martha's neighbors' lovely old farmhouse. Smoked Gouda, sliced baby cucumber from the garden and juicy little strawberries, the fruitful gems of summer in Maine.

I was going to say sorry for another sad sap post but it's not my fault, so can't say sorry.

That's it. The pain is real but there was some beauty. And while I see that 14 might seem like a high tally, in my mind, it did not/could not cancel out even that one first night in a Maine hotel.

Prom Countdown

"Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress" episode photo from "I Love Lucy." I doubt that will happen to Punchy but you never know! 

Punchy, 17, is going to Romeo's senior prom in Wayne this evening. I'm not allowed to post a photo of her in the dress yet. She tried it on twice. I guess you don't post the dress ahead of time now, at least in her case.

Mimi (her dad's mom) is driving up after work, for a photo window. Figgy plans to come after work, too.

It feels like a scaled-down wedding--by that I mean a focused and happy event, Dan and I coordinating car time to rush Punch to hair and nail appointments, purse shopping, the young man getting a jacket, etc., and that is good. We have ridden the crashing waves of many scary or sad moments in Punch's life sea but this is a joyous, "normal" one. I hope she and Romeo surf smoothly. Yet of course, I still worry--about after parties, alcohol, driving. I have already and will again address the matter with both teens involved.

The fancy manicure, two-tone with little rhinestones, was carefully crafted by a nail artist in her pretty at-home salon yesterday. (It took over two hours. Mimi funded it.) It's 12:22 and Dan is on a dash with Punch to CVS for silver hoop earrings and fake lashes, plus a purse at the mall. Starting at 1 p.m., pedicure, brow tint, hair trim and styling. She has to shower before all that. After hair, time for Punch to do her makeup.

Everyone is different. And while Punchy has a sharp, astute brain, she doesn't overexercise it for school. She is a capable athlete, but I have to twist her arm mostly to get her to the Y for a class or to the gymnastics place for an open tumbling session. But Punchy is a master at makeup. In a good way. Honestly, she is.

The nails....they are superlong, a trend these days. The family member who really digs them is our cat, Nina, whose green eyes dance and spin like saucers at the sparkly little jewels on teen queen's talons.

We picked up the pretty dress and shoes Tuesday after school. We did layaway at David's Bridal in Paramus, where Romeo's glamorous young mom has had a big position for years. She was very helpful, gracious and knowledgeable. As in, just the right shoes, black satin platform sandals with rhinestone buckles, which I wasn't inititally drawn to but love now. 

I have to go check my work emails. Hope to report back later.

Going to the Groomer

Haha, grooming is what you call it for your doggy....our Sugar would emerge puffed-up and proud, smelling delicious, with a little top bow. But I am going to Boho Hair Salon & Cafe today for a haircut with blowout (and a coffee from the pink cafe part). The salon is famous for painted-on highlights and beautiful blowouts.....

I am looking forward to it.

Life is spinning, and some days I do better than others keeping my balance. We are going to DC tomorrow for a full weekend of wedding fun for a lovely young couple. Lots of activities planned. We have known Ben all his life, and it's an honor to celebrate him and Kaitlin. Thankfully, Sis is coming with her pup from Connecticut to stay here Friday to Sunday and hold down the fort with Punchy (teen) and Nina (pussycat).

Have a good one.

Postcard to Self

Cap't Cass Seafood, Rock Harbor, Orleans. It closed during the pandemic; a new owner is remodeling it. Can't wait to get another clam roll. Photo by Meggy. Check capecodchronicle.com for "New Owner Eyes Spring Reopening For Cap’t Cass Restaurant."

The view from Salt Pond Visitor Center terrace. A tonic.

With Meggy at the Audubon.

Ornithologist James at the 8:30 a.m. bird banding program.

Highland Light, Truro. Photo by Meg.

Dear Present and Future Alice,

You had a great time this week. You drove to the Cape with Sis in her Connecticut car. As the promised land came closer, you looked for cranberry bogs to the right, on Route 6 East. Each mile driven was another measure away from drama and fear over teen struggles. You filled your lungs, unclenched your heart and breathed. Dan was good to hold down the fort for five days; school was in session.

Meg and Greg came from Vermont. You all took so many walks. You had two dinners at home (Meg made jambalaya and Sis, chicken with lemon, shallots and kale) and ate two dinners out. You enjoyed calm companionship and conversation.

You put your feet in the sea, let the water swirl around. You stood tall. Your gaze held steady on the horizon. You picked up a rock tumbled by the waves and a broken clam shell, souvenirs. Broken shells are better because they are real, like imperfect life. Jagged maybe, but still beautiful.

The pink and white salt spray roses smelled sweet. How resilient they are, how plucky. Blooming by the rugged sea, thriving by saltwater, churning and rough. Honeysuckle perfumed the air on the paths. You saw old touchstones from childhood. Coast Guard Beach. Salt Pond Visitor Center, with that hidden, unchanged museum. Scrimshaw and a whaling captain's top hat, recordings of Wampanoag stories, an empty wooden cradle, a primitive bicycle. Memories of Cape Codders gone by.

Now, home. You can't pour from an empty cup, the young DBT therapist, E., said this morning before starting a telehealth appointment with Punch. You had mentioned your time away, and E. had approved.

The bathroom mirror. You looked in the bathroom mirror up there on the Cape, where you have sought the truth and judged your beauty since age 19, when the house was new. Then, no makeup. Now, mandatory concealer and brow pencil. Mascara. Then, longer hair. Now, shorter, and colored. Skin crinkles. It's okay. It's all okay. The secret to beauty is accepting yourself.

You saw yourself there as a young mother and wife, with Dan and Figgy. All the things you did with them. Your short white nightgown with thin straps and scattered flowers, you turning the faucet, adding the bubbles, filling the tub for Fig so she could drift to sleep clean and fresh. Then Punch as a restless baby, never tired. Dad, of course. Friends and their children.

Already, less than 24 hours back home, the stress meter is up. Problems don't vanish. You're not saying that out of self-pity, or for sympathy, only out of self-truth. But you do not have to amp up the stress.

Remember your cup. Remember to fill it. 

Love, Alice, age 62

Selfie.

Ranger-led lecture on lobsters.

Meggy, dear friend and roommate from Douglass College, with her camera.

Sis looks good in that hat!

Lucky 7 List: Tuesday’s Child Is Full of Grace

Showy pink lady’s slipper, or slipper orchid. 

Wow. Do we really exist in a world 

with wild, slipper-shaped flowers? 

That’s lucky. Image and info link here. 

I started writing here in February 2010, when Figgy was 14, a high school freshman, and Punchy was 3 and back living with her birth mom. (My smart, long-time friend Kim’s blog set me on this blogging path.) 

I have seen darkness and light, and charted it here. Click for a few examples of posts about sadness and sunshine of the spirit.

Today I see graces around me. But facing life on life’s terms also brings an awareness that we all meet up with challenges, and trying days. It won’t just be the gentle wind at our backs every day. Sometimes the road will be rocky and slippery. (Yesterday was hard. From 3 to 5 p.m., a certain young someone had great difficulty regulating her emotions and holding a boundary. It was ugly and scary, I won’t lie. But it must have been ugly and scary for the young one, too.)

Graces, midday on Tuesday, March 21, 2023:

1. Child. Punchy started at a new out-of-district high school last week. I am so very very very very very very grateful. So is Dan, and the extended family that supports our Punch. They know who they are.
2. Beauty. I got my hair cut last week--a trim and shape-up by talented Linda at 212 Salon and Day Spa in Montclair. I’m grateful to have moderate funds for pampering: regular pedicures, special-day blowouts and, when I can no longer ignore the gray, single-process hair color. Then, every few months, if the stars are in their courses and the pennies in the purse, the big kahuna, the ultimate glow-up: Highlights by Chrystina at Boho Hair Salon. (I put live links here not because I earn money if you click on them. I don’t. But I want you to know of these places, too.)
3. Notes. Writing notes (mostly thank you notes, or letters to Figgy in Florida) is very important to me. When I’m not in a good mental state, I do not mail notes. I cannot muster up the energy or find the space for the process: pen to paper, good thoughts, Love, Alice or Love, Mima, lick the envelope, address it, press on a Forever postage stamp, put in our mail basket for carrier, David T., to send on its way. “This should get to her in three days,” David says when I put a card there for Figgy. If something is more urgent, I go to the Post Office, and I love that, too.
4. Fat cat. I adore that Nina, who just turned two. She is a storybook kitty, pretty green eyes and a playful spirit. Like Sugar Maureen, our Bichon Frise, Nina is my baby.
5. Skin. Less acne. My darn CPAP machine mask irritates my skin. I need the mask and machine so I keep breathing at night, but I pay for it with breakouts and redness. CeraVe Acne Control Cleanser, bought on impulse at CVS, seems to help. My dermatologist could not. Don’t ask.
6. Young adult. Figgy is doing well as far as I can see, and my heart lifts for that. It’s a fact mothers share: If one of your kids is suffering psychologically, physically, heartwise or in any other way, you are far less lighthearted and hence, less likely to count your graces. But I think counting our graces anyway on any day is a skill worth acquiring. When we do that, we don’t fall apart with our kids in their tough times. I have been prone to falling apart and losing my footing with a daughter or two, as though one sad, scared young person is not enough at any given time in a household.
7. Health care. Coverage is paid up to date. Years back, I had to call many times because our monthly payment was very high and hard to keep up with, and our coverage had been terminated. Thank you, Obamacare*. 

Graces are not just big things but also small ones, like a tiny daffodil raising its head in a ruffled bonnet or two adorable little sisters in the neighborhood walking their cute dog, who just happens to be wearing a sweater. 

May all of our days be sprinkled with graces. 

*Per Wikipedia: HealthCare.gov is a health insurance exchange website operated by the United States federal government under the provisions of the Affordable Care Act or ACA, commonly referred to as “Obamacare”, which currently serves the residents of the U.S. states which have opted not to create their own state exchanges.^{[1][better source needed]} The exchange facilitates the sale of private health insurance plans to residents of the United States^[2] and offers subsidies to those who earn between one and four times the federal poverty line, but not to those earning less than the federal poverty line.^[3] The website also assists those persons who are eligible to sign up for Medicaid, and has a separate marketplace for small businesses.

Growing Older

Above: The Blue Spruce tree is sturdy and strong, yet when I pass her and her sisters in parks, they remind me of ladies in waiting, in ballgowns with full skirts. They have fit legs, sure footing, no flimsy satin evening slippers. They can withstand storms, wind, heavy snow and drought. Dad planted Blue Spruces. They are resilient. Marriage takes resilience, too. Image from here.

Yesterday was our 32nd wedding anniversary.

We are older, and it shows. Our lives do not involve plastic surgery or constant workouts. No miracle serums. Our hair is thinner. I have a deep furrow in my brow when I think hard, or care hard, and I do both a lot. 

We don’t have a Nutribullet juicer or a fancy sports car bought at a peak of our lives. This is not Beverly Hills and we are not on our third marriages. 

I recently became the owner of low-prescription glasses for driving at night; they are tucked in the glove compartment. Dan is having some lower back pain. We both seem to be stooping a bit.

But we do still have strong hearts and a commitment to gardening as best we can, putting bulbs in the ground and hoping for beauty, composting old lettuce and fruit peels, making good coffee every morning. And a commitment to being good parents, again, as best we can. We like music, new and old. Tonight, we stole away to dinner at Le Salbuen on Walnut Street in Montclair.

What is that music playing? we asked as we sipped our coffee in modern white cups. Our server, a handsome young man, checked the Chill Radio stream. It was “Sea of Blue,” with beautiful piano notes. We both wrote down the name in the notes sections of our phones. Then we stopped for rations on the way home: four pizza slices for teens, five cans of Fancy Feast for Nina, two low-sugar treats for me since I did not indulge in the chocolate mousse, warm brownie with peanut butter, flan or Nutella croissant. (Dan loved the flan.)

We still write, as we did when we met in our twenties. Then, we had typewriters and Wite-Out at our desks, and now we have slim laptops (though Dan still uses an old Remington for 60-Second Novels).

I looked around at the small tables in the restaurant. We are older now, Dan no longer the young dad, proud he snagged a table on a Saturday night, and I no longer the chic mom in Burberry scarf and strappy black heels. They are the ones who pay a sitter $15 an hour and swoosh out of the house. We feel a little tired walking back to our car.

I feel confident at 62, confident in my style, my colorful life, my laughter, my writing and my hard-won wisdom. Beautiful, even, as I age, in the right light and right pants and especially with a blowout, pedicure and Nars Velvet Matte Lipstick Pencil in Dragon Girl*, which brings out my blue eyes. I can carry myself with goodness and grace. I am happy tonight for my pink cashmere, V-neck tennis sweater, acquired thanks to a $200 gift card won in a shopping night raffle at Stitch years ago. I do not take for granted the riches in my life; the people.

And yet.

It’s too much to keep writing about. I am grateful for our blessings and sorry for our struggles. I pray for both of us to find the strength, wisdom and grace to see them through, clearly and calmly. 

I hope, and I pray. And I try to accept the things I cannot change.

*My dear Figgy introduced me to this product when she did my makeup on Christmas Day in Maine.

As Seen in Montclair

Pre-owned, vintage white gold and mother-of-pearl Alhambra necklace from Van Cleef & Arpels, sold on Farfetch.com now for $3,290.

This is Montclair. Hence, I’ve seen some well-heeled style in the 31 years since Dan and I first moved into an old Bellevue Avenue apartment here with plaster walls, golden sconces, a butler’s pantry and black-and-white tile bathroom after our honeymoon.

The township is not homogeneous, no whole-milk Madison Avenue. Montclair prides itself on being inclusive. We have Grey Poupon mansions with groundskeepers and crowded apartments, polished parks with ponds and grassy patches worn down by teens with nowhere else to go. We don’t have just white skin, but all rich colors and all gender identities. 

It’s the style watch I’ve kept as we moved along, saving money to drive our possessions across town from apartment to small house, living as writers, putting our girls through the public schools. It’s this home base where I take in fashion, where I first saw a man wearing a pink oxford shirt with jeans and good brown leather shoes without socks. (I saw him often, and came to believe he had a trust fund.) 

Sure, I’ve peeked into the Van Cleef & Arpels shop, a hushed church of jewelry ensconced in Bergdorf Goodman on Fifth Avenue, musing about how it would be to have an income (mine or someone else’s) to cover a piece of that. But here in Montclair, I have seen the jewelry up close, resting just so against the tanned collarbones of beautiful women. 

On Friday, after my doctor’s appointment, I stopped at Van Hook, where the well-cheesed fill their baskets with select wedges, Norwegian crackers, ceramic Brie bakers, and pints of heavy cream from a farm. Then I walked around the corner to Jones Road, Bobbi Brown’s flagship makeup store. (Did I tell you I once saw Bobbi in the Kings produce aisle?) Due to Covid, the shop limits customers to six at a time. 

I waited 15 minutes in the sun and got to know the women in front of and behind me. Both were warm and friendly. We all had kids in school, and were happy to have a small pocket of time to beauty shop. We chatted as only fans can when bonding to get our hands on Bobbi’s cult line.

Ahead of me, the pretty, slim-hipped blonde wore penny loafers (penny loafers!), with her jeans, perfect for back-to-school week. She said the shiny copper pennies are remembrances of her two high school children--a penny in each shoe, with the appropriate birth year. She wore Van Cleef & Arpels necklace and earrings from the venerable Paris jeweler. I had a chance to study the iconic Alhambra charms and start to grow a love for those flowers, between drinking paper cups of lemon water from the mason jar outside Jones Road.

Behind me was a mother of three kids who, like me, said she often ran around with no makeup on and wanted to change that, maybe with Bobbi’s Miracle Balm, which comes in different glowy shades. 

Both shoppers were from nearby towns, not Montclair. But here is where I’ve plumped up my style file. This is where I first saw:

*Hermès jewelry, favored by fashionable Holly, owner of a clothing shop on Valley Road.

*Tory Burch flats, in the former Tory Janes store, which I still miss.

*Luxury linens and Santa Maria Novella shampoo from Florence. The shopowner brought it back in her suitcase. It was expensive even back in the nineties but I swear I had a great hair day whenever I used it. 

*Even elite boutique chocolate, from Mariebelle bars in Susan's dark-chocolate shop with a narrow winding staircase to Basque Cheesecake (made by Julia at Vesta Chocolate) with whipped ganache and caramel.

Style is beauty, comfort, art. Earrings that catch  the light when they swing. Fun coats that make a dark winter day better.  Cakes that stir up conversations. Mothers who share everyday fashion talk on a line outside a shop.

I do love Montclair, whether or not, at the moment, my heels are worn low and I need a new pair.

Change Is Hard, Change Is Beautiful

Above: Beauty in a bath bomb. Faerie Queen Bath Bomb, $8.50, from DollyMoo, a local Montclair business that ships nationwide.

Those papery brown bulbs we tuck in the ground--what force of nature, what power and grace within, enables and allows the stalks and then the blooms to push their way up and out, toward the sun, after a long winter?

My voice has been quiet here on my blog but life has been improving. Day by day, I:

• Fit in beauty care. I love DollyMoo bath goodies (cute shop in town) and usually make makeup time: concealer, black mascara, and, from Jones Road Beauty--flagship store in Montclair, since Bobbi Brown lives here-- brow pencil and dab of Shimmer Face Oil. That’s on the good days. TBH, some days, I drive to Newark and back in my sleep cami, throwing a shirt and skirt on top. My white sneakers are dirty and need a spin in the wash. Still more progress to be made. Yay, getting hair colored and cut today for first time since my stylist, Christina, left for maternity leave in November. She has returned.
• Eat better--and enjoy it. Oatmeal for breakfast sometimes, like today. Instead of decadent sweets or daily dark chocolate, a treat might be a weekly 3.5 ounce round of creamy French Le Pico cheese from Dry Goods Refillery, split two or three ways with Dan and Skipper and eaten with a small baguette from Le French Dad on Church Street or good rye crackers.
• Catch up on doctor visits. Finally made appt. for ob/gyn visit. Can’t get lost entirely in the shuttling of Skip to her many varied appointments. Have to leave energy to take care of myself, too.
• Fall asleep without night eating. Usually 7 to 8 hours a night during the week, sometimes more on weekends. I listen to bedtime sleep stories on the Breethe app (thanks to my friend Rach for recommending). A roster of readers, men and women, British and American, fascinating. I’m generally asleep within 10 minutes, I think, though I don’t check the clock. I have listened to The Great Gatsby, Peter Pan, Cinderella, The Velveteen Rabbit, Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, Moby Dick, Alice in Wonderland and The Little Mermaid (Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale). Love it. Look forward to it. Treat, and not food eaten frenetically.
• Fit in work and earn more money. I have two new writing clients. 
• Communicate more calmly and clearly.

Would like to write more but have to get Uber to 10 a.m. salon appt. (Dan has the car this morning and I didn’t make time to walk the 25 minutes there.)

                                      The Messenger Bath Bomb.

 

Hair-Raising Money Report

I hadn't gotten my hair cut and colored since early June.....long overdue, and just in time for my 40th Dumont High School reunion tomorrow night. I'm going with Moey, and with Fritch, who is flying up from Florida! We three met in kindergarten at Seltzer School....that sunny corner classroom with nap time, a play kitchen and mischievous little boys [Jimmy F. and Frankie I. come to mind].

After kindergarten, we headed to Saint Mary's School and then back to public school again--Dumont High. [Saint Mary's didn't have kindergarten, so that was at a public school, too.]

The salon appointment definitely drove up my spending.

TCOY

1. Getting the hair done.
2. Nap on couch.
3. Steamed baby potatoes with my garden green beans, fresh lemon, Maldon sea salt, freshly ground pepper, EVOO.
4. Made a little bowl of homemade "cannoli" filling--delicious local whole-milk ricotta, a little mascarpone, freshly grated orange peel and some dark chocolate chips. It was good.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Salon 212, Aveda color, cut and blowout by Christina, $150 plus $30 tip and $6 shampoo tip, $186.
• Kings, small gifts for my two friends, smoked salmon, pistachios, baby potatoes, 2 dark chocolate bars, 3 wet dog food, sunflower seeds, Thai chopped salad mix, bunch of bananas, fresh figs, breaded chicken cutlets, good rye bread, $97.66.
• Jackie's Grillette, lamb gyro with feta on pita [brought half home for Punch], fries, $2 jar tip, $16.93.
• Thrift shop at Saint James Church, gently worn JoS. A. Bank purple 100% cashmere sweater with V neck, $5. The comparable cashmere sweaters on that menswear site are $350.
• Uber back home, plus tip, $8.80.

TOTAL DAILY SPEND: $314.39.
Running total for month as of October 18: $1,440,02.
Average daily spend: $80.

COMPARE TO TWO PRIOR MONTHS:

TOTAL SPEND FOR SEPTEMBER (30 DAYS): $2,214.43.🍎⬇️

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $73.81.🍎⬇️

TOTAL SPEND FOR AUGUST (31 DAYS): $2,895.06. ⬆️

AUGUST AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $93.39.  ⬆️

Tuesday Afternoon Quarterbacking

I have to catch up on yesterday, especially the money part. It does feel good to take inventory.

TCOY

1. Walked around block.
2. Walked to town.
3. Got hair colored and cut.
4. Asked Fig to get Punch from schoolbus stop in rain so I could take a short nap.
5. Went to women's group.
6. Made healthy plate to bring to #5 and serve to my family: halved fresh figs, sliced fresh mozzarella and prosciutto arranged on platter, topped with garden basil leaves, drizzled with olive oil and squeezed lemon and showered with freshly ground salt and pepper. This is a dish my friend and next-door neighbor, Julie, had in some wonderful spot in Italy with her husband. She came back home and made it, and shared the recipe.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET
This one is a doozy.

• Vamp Hair Studio, color, cut, blowout, $195 plus tip plus natural lip balm made by Nico, $238.
• Back to Vamp for Bumble and Bumble Mending Shampoo, color-safe to preserve my salon investment, $33.05. [I will keep on top shelf of linen closet so family does not use it.]
• Jackie's Grillette, took myself to lunch with ice water and tip, $16.38.
• CVS, three Hallmark cards, one gift card for bday, local milk, Kind bars, sack of lavender bath salt, etc., $67.20.
• Kings, fresh figs [big, plump and pretty as a painting, but short window of time in market and sky-high $2 each; I got the last 12]; 1/2 lb. prosciutto; 1/2 lb. fresh mozzarella; 2 lemons; organic milk; dinner rolls; etc., $69.21.
• Uber home with groceries in pouring rain, with tip, $9.30.
• Bank ATM fee, $3.
• Lillypulitzer.com, I have been wanting to get a dress for a while. I also needed a new laptop case since the zipper on mine broke after about 2 years and I don't want my valuable laptop getting wet if something spills in my bag. Then I added the great market tote so I would total $150 and get free 2-day shipping [$25 value]. $153.44.
• Gift, $80.

Here are photos of my Lilly purchases, which should last a long, colorful time:

Market tote, $14.

Tech sleeve, $36.

Adrianna dress, size XL, $98. Add order tax of $3.44.

TOTAL SPENT OUT OF POCKET: $669.58.

RUNNING TOTAL FOR MONTH AS OF JUNE 10: $1,694.85.

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $169.48.

MONEY THOUGHTS: Big June spends include LillyPulitzer.com dress, tech sleeve 
for laptop, market tote, $154; salon cut, color and shampoo product, $271; gift, $80; 
Ubers while our only car was in shop for 4 days; Joyist morning, $37; teachers' 
toasts tickets, $74; teachers' gift, $40; and Aerin sale at Williams-Sonoma, $78. 

KEEPING AN EYE ON PAST MONTHS

MAY TOTAL SPEND: $2,348.24.

MAY AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $75.75. 

APRIL TOTAL SPEND: $3,634.28.

APRIL AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $121.14.

Cost of Excellent Blowout? Priceless

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

It was another Uber-heavy day, since Dan needed the car. I usually go to a salon I can walk to in 20 minutes, but I went back to Rachel, a stylist I loved years back. She is now at Gumdrop, on the other end of Montclair--which is too long a walk. Gumdrop is right next to Cafe Giotto on Church Street. I'm not happy about wasting that $21 for wheels, but...

I think I'm going back to weekly blowouts. I stopped to save money and to try to embrace my curls, but you know what? I really miss them. The polish and glamour.  I will have to trim back somewhere else, though, if I splurge on this pampering/TCOY again.

• Whole Foods, quart of sweet organic strawberries, bag organic lemons, pasta, romaine hearts, cucumber, crumbled feta, bananas and long baguette. I realize I will have to add a flowers/garden category starting this month. I love blossoms, indoors and out, and so do the bees and hummingbirds [in garden]. Flowers/garden, 2 huge bags composted organic soil, on sale for $10 vs. $16.99 each; hyacinths in pot for Fig, $5; 2 white tulip pots for us, $1.99 each; and box of bulbs to plant in garden, 75 cents. Also single-issue magazine, America's Test Kitchen Best-Ever Lost Recipes, looks fabulous, $9.95 + tax.  Total, $70.14.
• Repaired windshield wiper, cost $0, thanks to our amazing, kind-hearted mechanic.
• Uber to Gumdrop with Patrice [a man], including $1 tip, $10.42.
• Gumdrop, impeccable blowout by Rachel, $40. Shampoo/condition by Bre, who told me all about the Oribe [nice high-end!] products she was using at the sink. Generous tips for both since first time there, and I didn’t have single bills. Total, $55.
• Cafe Giotto, small, made-from-scratch potato gnocchi Bolognese to go, with tip, and jar of imported artichokes in oil, total $23.85. [I was short on cash, offered to put jar back in pantry but nice woman said I can just give $5 next time.]
• Uber from Gumdrop with Maurice, including $1.50 tip, $10.68.

• I FORGOT TO PUT THE COST OF GROOMER THURSDAY FOR SUG'S BATH AND HAIR STYLING. ADDING TWO DAYS LATER, $65 + tip, $75. BUMMER. NOW ALL NUMBERS UP FOR APRIL. I'M GOING TO ADD A PETS/VET $ BREAKDOWN STARTING AT END OF MONTH.

TOTAL DAILY SPEND: $170.09.
MONTHLY SPEND AS OF APRIL 5 $775.73.
AVERAGE DAILY SPEND SO FAR THIS MONTH: $151.14.

It's 6:25 p.m. and I'm signing off here, have other writing to do. But instead of ballooning today's spend even more by ordering takeout on this rainy Friday, am going to make that romaine salad [with my friend Rach's homemade dressing] and turkey meatballs, using meat in fridge.

The Fuchsia is Bright

I got my hands on a bag of real green moss and relined my metal planter,
then spooned in soil and popped in a pink impatiens.
The moss and the flowers are supposed to thrive in shade, but we shall see. 

Still avoiding flour, sugar and wheat for the most part--baked
these PB cookies with old-fashioned oats, some
whole and some whirred into oat flour. I can't lie, I did
miss the flour and sugar. But the cookies are filling, and
pretty good. Dan and Figgy liked them, too.

Today leaned heavily toward TCOY.  I did sell that new essay [about my hated CPAP machine], so I'm happy, but still struggling to complete kitchen tool copy.

Since I will be driving Punchy 1.5 hours south on the Parkway to see her birth mom for sleepover into Mother's Day, I decided I was long overdue for a pampering blowout. I have been avoiding them to save money, and have also been embracing my springy curls a bit more. Also had not had a pedicure in months, so got one w the Essie summer 2018 color THE FUCHSIA IS BRIGHT. LOL.

I'm tired now and have to rise early for a busy day but here is my TCOY list:

1. Weeded a little spot and inserted my dahlia bulbs. Felt my age down on knees, especially getting up; need gardener’s pad.
2. Freshened up my metal planter. #beautyaboveall
3. Baked the PB cookies. No sugar, flour or wheat except 1 T pure maple syrup.
4. Nap.
5. Beauty salon salvation.
6. Blueberries and yogurt.
7. Walked around block once and another 25 min. back from town.
8. Stopped on way home for coffee energy balls and a cashew milk from Juice Culture and day-boat scallops from Gus's Fish Market.
9. Had those day-boat scallops and a sweet potato.
10. Dan was working at a party tonight and Figgy and Punch were both out with friends. So I rented "California Typewriter," the documentary about a typewriter repair shop and typewriter collectors, including Tom Hanks. Dan, who owns many old typewriters as the 60-Second Novelist, saw the movie in theaters. I enjoyed it, though it was a bit long. It made me want to get out my old portables and spiff them up and use them. The red, blue, yellow and old floral-painted typewriters looked inviting. The collectors' passion was inspiring. We should get shelves to show off Dan's machines; these people have glassed-in cabinets. Also, my Danny should have been in this film!
11. Listened to my playlist on Spotify, including "Peace Train" by Yusuf/Cat Stevens. [Who would have thought when Sis drove me around in the white Ford Falcon in the 1970s and we listened to Cat on 8-track tapes that we would one day call him Yusuf?]

Good night, sleep well.

A First Time for Everything

My marshmallow-making debut today.

The formatting is off a bit whenever I start a blog post on my iPhone and then finish it here on my Rose Gold MacBook. So please forgive all the extra spaces between paragraphs! A while back, I read that beauty visionary Estée Lauder loved chocolate-covered marshmallows. I think it was in something written by her granddaughter, Aerin Lauder, who is also a beauty visionary--and author, style maven, socialite, trendsetter. Williams Sonoma approached her to sell a line of AERIN tableware. She has a jewel-box shop in Southampton [I visit it on my summer day trips] and is opening a second Hamptons location.

In fact, the legendary whipper upper of beauty creams loved candy, period. When I went to a panel discussion last Saturday at the Architectural Digest Spring Design Show in NYC, Aerin said:

Estée had a little refrigerator full of candy in the family room, with boxes of candy. She would say, 'Take one, take two, take whatever you want.' She was fun.

Now that would be my kind of grandmother. Yet somehow, Aerin and her sister, Jane, are slim and beautiful, not carrying around any candy pounds.

I find it fascinating that on esteelauder.com, you can find A RECIPE! from a popular Soho chef--even a marshmallow video, which was very helpful, as the sticky confection is made, in this case, from powdered gelatin, water, light corn syrup, sugar, salt and vanilla bean seeds scraped from the pod.

You must boil the sugar syrup in a covered pan for 10 minutes, until it reaches 240 degrees F. on a candy thermometer. I do not own a candy thermometer now, so I just stuck with the 10-minute guideline. 

But the syrup was so hot and you beat it into the gelatin for so long [15 minutes] that the whisk extension on my red handheld KitchenAid mixer [the only mixer I have right now, and I've had it for years] got red hot hot hot and actually broke off at the stem. Yikes. I hope to mail the whole shebang back to KitchenAid and get a replacement, but I don't know...and plus, the postage would be a lot.

I'm proud of my kitchen crafting today. The marshmallows seem a little plain-Jane at first but then when you dip them in the dark chocolate and let it harden, they turn into glamour girls. I did eat about four of these light ladies, but packed the rest up in cellophane bags with pretty Easter stickers--to give to others. I gave a bag of six to the mom of Punchy's playmate today.

I left a baggie with three marshmallows on the kitchen table for Dan and Punch. [Darn, they almost passed vegan Figgy's test--no egg whites!--but that powdered gelatin contains collagen from animals. So, no.]

What happened to the all the rest of the marshmallows? Dan asked when he came in.

He was impressed with these. I also have to thank him for running to Kings yesterday when I said Please get me good dark chocolate, not a bag of Tollhouse chips. He came back with two nice big Scharffen Berger 70% Bittersweet Dark Chocolate Baking Bars that were on sale; but I only needed one. [I saved six naked marshmallows for the future.]

So maybe I can make them for special occasions, like Easter and Christmas. For me, it's not just about eating the sweets--it's the crafting of them. The candy-kitchen crafting. The chopping and tempering the fine rich chocolate. The dipping [I like Chef Camille Becerra's technique of using two forks.] It's a true passion for me. But as I said under my Instagram post, #backtofruitnow.

Happy Easter to you and yours. Happy Passover, too. Are these kosher? The Lauder family is Jewish. 

TCOY

1. Nice hot bath with the rest of my DollyMoo salts [made in Montclair].
2. Got to my support group, even though Dan took the car to drive Punch to her soccer game and Figgy took the bike to get to work. I walked 15 minutes to get there. Then I walked another 15 minutes in town and 25 minutes back home.
3. Had Asian salad.
4. Think I will sauté a pear now. Sis sent us fresh pears for Easter from Harry & David.

Sunday Good/Bad/Ugly

GOOD
Finally got back to Joe’s restorative yoga class today. It was a gift, from the massage oil I rubbed into my inner wrists and temples to the wonderful resting poses with bolster, blocks and blankets—as the afternoon rain pelted the roof. We were safe inside. I haven’t purchased a block of classes in a while; I bought a set of five today. Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged.
BAD
Our garbage disposal in the sink is broken, yet again. This often causes our dishwasher to overflow. Good times.
UGLY
A lovely child, in innocence, asked me ‘“Why is your belly so big?”  I’m struggling mightily. Here I am trying to replace sweets with fruit, white bread with Ezekiel. I walked into the Little Daisy Bake Shop today and didn’t get a sample or a sweet, just a coffee to bring Figgy at work and a cute pack of Valentine hot cocoa mix for Punchy, to go with the Little Daisy little cup and red spoon I got her the other day. Sigh. Help?

A Beachcomber Massage & a Chat by the Fire

Laura by a fire pit at the Loews Blue Streak poolside bar.

Blogging now from the Business Center at the glamorous Loews Santa Monica Beach Hotel, right on the ocean. [You swipe your credit card and pay $7.50 per 15 minutes to use these big-screen computers. But it's cool, quiet and sleek, unlike my room at the very ordinary Extended Stay America.]

I got a 7 p.m spa treatment: the Signature Beachcomber Massage. The treatment room was candle-lit, the spa bed very comfy. Van was the massage therapist. He showed me the tiger-striped clam shells infused with kelp and seawater that are used for the hot treatment, designed to "melt away muscle tension" per the menu. They are hot to the touch.

"We store a lot of tension in our bodies," Van said, noting that my back felt tight. "Ideally, people should get a massage twice a month."

I wish.

"This must be a hard job," I said. "I mean you really have to work hard, and be energetic." He was kneading and kneading, no rest for the weary. You'd need vitamins to handle that.

"Yes," he agreed with a laugh. "You have to be in it to win it."

Van and I got to talking; I couldn't help it. He moved here from Chicago over 15 years ago, and since I only have one full day left, tomorrow, I asked him for tips about driving the Pacific Coast Highway. He suggested Zuma Beach as a stop-off in Malibu. Sounds good to me. I also hope to find a Catholic Mass earlier in the day, if I'm awake on time,, and might possibly go to Santa Barbara, too....not sure.

I've come a long way since the first time Moey and I ever went to a spa years back, and the whole idea of a little locker, and key, spa slippers and a thick robe were new to us both. I left feeling relaxed, and with an itinerary for my PCH drive, to boot. Thanks, Van.

*****************************************************************************
After that, I met Moey's daughter, Laura, in the lobby. An aspiring actress and singer, she moved to Burbank almost six months ago, and loves it here. She also liked the Loews Hotel. We headed to the hotel's outdoor Blue Streak poolside bar, and both loved the fire pits [13 of them]; you can sit in cushy chairs and order food and drinks while looking out over the Santa Monica Pier, the ferris wheel lit up in pretty colors. We both stared into the flickering flames, talking and reflecting.

Well, I must get my car from the valet and drive back to my Extended Stay America. It's been nice to be at the ball and all, but now my carriage is about to turn into a pumpkin pulled by mice.

Sweet dreams.

*Full disclosure: My service was complimentary as a media guest. The price of the 50-minute service would be $140; 80 minutes, $200. Therefore, I gave Van a 20 percent [or $28] gratuity. There's an unspoken law in the beauty writing world: You usually give the tip even when the service is on the house.