Treats That Are Not Candy

Omigosh, so beautiful. I didn’t see this bracelet at Pink Bungalow* in Montclair today, but here is the description from an online shop: 

PowerBeads by Jen Blessed Mother Blue Agate Paired with Silver Hammered Fleur-de-Lis Charm

Blessed Mother blue agate! Wow, love the name and the look.

I am a nature fan, but also a material girl. It’s a paradox. My latest material purchases include:

1. Pretty lace underwear (on sale). I weathered the pandemic without much lace.

2. Organic coffee beans with notes of dark chocolate in the roast, from Red Rooster Coffee in Floyd, Virginia. I think I noticed the brand in New Bern, North Carolina when Skippy and I drove back from Florida in summer 2021 and stopped to see her friend, but I’m not sure. Also: Since I have written about coffee, I received a press sample and liked it. I just placed my first order on the website. Good coffee is my life.

3. Chopped pecans and whole walnuts, to top yogurt or cottage cheese. Nuts are expensive, a treat I don’t take for granted.

4. A string of beautiful beads on a bracelet from PowerBeads by Jen. The pretty spheres I chose are opalite and the tag says CALMING/PEACE/ACCEPTING CHANGE. Oh yes, accepting change. That’s my mantra.  (One regret: The shop only had one size, average--I still love mine, and it’s stretchy, but I see on shop link above that I could have held out and ordered a large online.)

Good night.

*Ah, Montclair. Economically diverse, but also home to shops with enthralling storybook names, such as:

-Blueberry Lane (closed, shoes, accessories, lovely)

-Moss & More  (fairy-tale-like garden/plant shop)

-The Little Daisy Bake Shop (nut-free, dreamy)

-Tory Janes (closed; I loved that shoe/accessory source)

-Speakeasy Vintage (no longer but wonderful treasure trove hidden upstairs)

If you know Montclair, pls. LMK if I missed some!

Southern Charm & the Magic of Chicken Potpie

I’m on a lot of email lists...one is for Reed Smythe & Company.

I landed there out of my deep admiration for southern writer Julia Reed (who has since died). I love her books, and she founded Reed Smythe with her longtime friend, a woman named Keith Smythe Meacham.

I love browsing the curated, pricey collection of home and entertaining items (also jewelry by Helen Bransford)....I saw a beautiful garden table with scalloped edge there, and I moon over Bransford’s chain necklace and solid gold lunar charm. But all cost hundreds of dollars, or a thousand plus. Out of loyalty and Julia love, I have ordered one of her books on the site, and a little glass votive, too.

Above: Madison Table ($1,000 plus shipping) inspired by 18th-century shutter paint color used by James and Dolley Madison. Here is product link. Oh, I just know my summer flowerpots would look so pretty on that table.

Anyway, today my email brought a recipe from Keith--her Mama’s Chicken Pie, with an endorsement from Julia (now in potpie and garden heaven, I trust).

https://www.reedsmythe.com/mary-macks-chicken-pie/

I started to follow the recipe--had Dan get the Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup on his blizzard run to ShopRite today. (I used Cream of Mushroom since Dan doesn’t eat chicken, and I was making two filling versions, one for him.)

I used Mary Mack’s technique of simmering the chicken in a stockpot with water to cook. And I loved Keith’s suggestion of pairing the pie with "blanched haricots verts with plenty of coarse salt and lemon zest.” Very good.

But then I remembered the perfect chicken potpies Punchy and I made on Christmas Eve afternoon 2020, following the book So Much to Celebrate by Katie Jacobs. The crust was so good....and easy.....I wanted to go back to that. (Katie’s filling recipe brilliantly calls for two rotisserie chickens, meat removed and shredded.)

I started cooking at 3:30 and didn’t finish until two+ hours later. It felt good, therapeutic--Cat Stevens playing on Google Speaker. Punch is at Mimi’s. Peaceful, must say.

It’s an easy, forgiving dough. I don’t have a food processor, so I adapted it here to use an electric mixer.

I would put my filling recipe here but I doctored it today to make one potful vegetarian for Dan and one with chicken for me (and the little pie I froze for Sis). So it was a mix of Mary Mack’s and Katie J’s. 

But here is the crust from Katie. It makes enough for two standard pie tops, or six individual potpie tops--or even one double-crusted pie, if you were in the mood for fruit instead.

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 cup Crisco (get the sticks, follow markings on wrapper)

1/2 cup (1 stick) cold unsalted butter, diced

1/2 to 2/3 cup ice water (with ice cubes in it)

1 large egg beaten with 1 tablespoon water (for egg wash)

In large bowl, whisk flour, salt and baking powder. Add Crisco and butter and using electric (I used handheld) mixer on low, mix until the fat is the size of peas. Pour in the half-cup ice water (it should be enough) and mix again just until the dough just starts coming together into a shaggy mess (to use the words from a favorite Fine Cooking crust recipe). Dough should not come together in a ball. If you need more water, you can drizzle a little more on. 

Press dough together into a large disk. Wrap disk in plastic wrap and put in fridge for up to 30 minutes.

Then divide disk into two and roll each out on lightly floured surface.

Potpie (or any pie) tops are not picture-perfect in my book--mine are often patched up and a little raggedy. But good ones taste like heaven on a plate.

Thanks to Katie Jacobs (who suggests brushing the tops with the egg wash after they are placed on the filling, and cutting 4 steam vents into each).

Her recommended potpie baking guide is one hour at 375 degrees (place the pies on a baking pan to prevent drips).

LMK if you try it.

Enjoy. It’s tender and delicious, one forkful after another of homespun comfort.

Such Luxury of Time

I'm so happy my friend Anne and I took this girls' trip. I qualify this Anne as my friend because, well, IDK, but my Mom spelled her name Anne and Figgy's real name is Anne.

We spent about $125 each per night ($245 each, total), counting taxes and fees, for this Airbnb stay at the Rugosa Guest House in Eastham. I would highly recommend this place. In season, of course, the rates for this spacious suite would be higher. It includes two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a deep tub with water jets and a small deck with table and chairs. 

In early October, I received a press email from Gayle Conran of ConranPR regarding the "Annual Monumental Yard Sale" in Provincetown this weekend. Anne loves yard sales. I knew she would literally drive to the end of the earth to get to this one, and I was right. Ptown is where the land meets the sea.

Fun today:

• A morning shower with my Twilly d'Hermes Body Shower Cream.
• Coming across Sarah Kain Dresses on Commercial Street in Ptown! The designer upcycles fabrics...I bought a beautiful scarf (red velvet one side, mauve fabric the other, with fringe trim) and a dress she sewed from vintage denim.
• Good coffee.
• Pretty views.
• Nap.
• Walk along beach in Provincetown.
• Exploring the Jewelry Studio of Wellfleet. where two sisters polish their craft. Gorgeous silver and gold, sea glass, turquoise, miniature Wellfleet oyster charms. Browsing, just browsing.
• Checking out every T-shirt on God's green earth so Anne could get some for her husband and kids (and one for herself, which she loves, a Mac's Seafood one with a mask on the fish.) I didn't mind a bit. No rush, pure fun. Where Anne seeks out bargains and stylish tees, I seek out velvet scarves and vintage dresses.
• Chose cute gift for Figgy! at Utilities, a kitchen/home shop I will definitely revisit!!!!!!!!
• Steamed Chinese food for dinner. Lots of vegs.
• Continued chatfest with Anne.
• Lovely audio text from Punchy! Lovely calls and texts from Dan, Figgy, Sis. Even when we stray from home, it's nice to be grounded.

Good night. We head home tomorrow at noon. But Wellfleet Bay Wildlife Sanctuary before that, and last stop at Hot Chocolate Sparrow!!!

Thank You, God, for Power + Grace

Punch started the support program today. So far, so good. It is online because of the pandemic, but there's a chance that could change.

I am very impressed with the skilled staff. I am going to draw support and smarts and empathy from this program, too. So will Dan and Figgy. I trust and pray that we will all emerge with more tools for dealing with life's challenges and stresses. I will stop blogging about this now, because it is personal to this young lady's life path. Just know it looks helpful. Very.

To be sure she wasn't being left behind at a milestone moment, Sugar came into the sunroom and pooed on the floor while we were in the early appointment. Remember, her nickname in this house is "Baby Nurse" because she always ran up to the crib with me when a coo or cry came over Punchy's baby monitor.

I am thankful for clarity, power and grace.

TCOY

1. Listened to the most beautiful song: "Be More Kind" by Frank Turner [above]. Go ahead, enlarge to full screen.
2. Wearing my small "watermelon slice" tourmaline pendant from artisan silversmith and friend Andrea Schettino, from my hometown. Like a talisman for a scary day. I love it. Last night was awful. We were all up past 1 am, discord.
3. Homemade oatmeal w banana, sliced almonds, cacao nibs and a little PB. Yum.
4. Plan to walk at least around the block later.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Uber from home to dr office in Montclair for routine bloodwork, $13.36 and back home, $25.07. I was surprised by how much the rate went up between 3:42 pm and 4:27 pm. Guess it was because it was closer to end of workday and dinnertime. $38.43.
• Sunday, biked to Kings for groceries. Biggest splurges: Vogue June/July [combined!!!!] issue, $7.99, yikes; Lily's dark chocolate no-sugar baking chips, $7.99; fancy Father's Day card, $7.95. Other items included half-gallon organic milk; half-gallon oat milk; six-pack brioche burger rolls, buy one, get one free; sliced mozzarella; raspberry preserves; blueberries, raspberries, local buttermilk, butter, sliced almonds, sugar and cream to make individual Father's Day berry shortcakes [with biscuits]; thin-sliced bread; mushrooms; 1 lb. flounder; creamy cucumber/dill sauce and a lemon to have with it; 2 half-pound packs sliced roast turkey from deli; head of lettuce; 1 pack cookies for Punch; scented votive candle; 3/4 lb. grass-fed ground beef; 3 oz. 88 percent dark chocolate bar; huge can of coffee; 3 lb. bag of clementines; and a second Father's Day card, $153.
• Rented Bill Cunningham documentary online, $4.99.
• 3 Lilly Pulitzer masks [the limit was 3], shipping from Anchored in Pink in Newport, Rhode Island, free shipping, $45.

total spend: $241.42.

ongoing monthly spend as of June 23: $2,367.04.

avg daily spend: $102.91.

Keep an eye on/compare to previous months:

April 2020: Total monthly spend: $2,143.19.
Avg daily spend: $71.44.

March 2020--the effect of coronavirus quarantine and not working in NYC for now

Total monthly spend as of March 31: $1,916.15.

Avg daily spend: $61.81.

February 2020

Total monthly spend as of Feb. 29: $2,480.34.
Avg daily spend: $85.53.

TOTAL SPEND FOR MAY 2019: $2,348.24.

MAY AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $75.75. 

TOTAL SPEND FOR APRIL 2019: $3,634.28.

APRIL AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $121.14.

Spending Spree--and Yet, the Sadness Persists [of Course It Does]

The book is appropriately small, about
6.5 x 8.5 inches. Judith Jones is a magical name in the publishing world.
[See below.] Her beef stew sounds like it
will nicely feed me and Punch, the only
meat eaters in the house--and Sug will surely beg for a nibble.

Things have been rocky with raising Punch. And when that happens, I tend to overspend, instead of take stock of our strengths and the blessings we have, the wind and the godspeed that can power us through rough seas. Some of this spending was essential [groceries for meals, new bike lock, new air pump, both long overdue] but some was just to cheer myself up.

• Amazon, Salt on a Robin's Tail paperback by my friend Celia's friend Andrea Kott. It's a memoir and sounds really good.   
  • Salt on a Robin’s Tail: An Unlikely Jewish Journey Through Childhood, Forgiveness and Hope, is a true story of love and loss, struggle and survival, despair and hope. It shatters stereotypes, and inspires reconciliation with painful pasts. Salt On a Robin’s Tail | Andrea Kott andreakott.org/salt-on-a-robins-tail/  With shipping and tax, $21.31.
• Amazon, SKINNY DIPPED ALMONDS SuperDark + Sea Salt Chocolate Covered Almonds, 0.46 Ounce Mini Bags, 24 Count, free shipping, $24.99 plus tax. I read about these via Nutritionist Sam, the nutrition/diet/fitness editor at Good Housekeeping who was handpicked by my friend--the great Delia Hammock--when she retired. Sam has really good advice. Our paths at work crossed briefly.
• Greenwich Avenue parking meter with Sis, 25 cents.
• Out of the Box fashion store on Greenwich Avenue, feminine floral skirt marked down from $168 to $45, with tax, $47.86.
• Iced coffees and biscotti for Sis and me, plus tip, $15.59.
• Kings, Instacart doorstep delivery today, w service fee and tip: 2 half-gallons organic reduced-fat milk; good rye bread; 1 pound good deli turkey; Acme smoked whitefish spread; brioche buns, which Punch loves; organic strawberries; 6 large bananas; Food for Life sprouted almond cereal; and 2 frozen Phillips crab cakes for Dan and Punch dinner, $77.58. 
• Starbucks, Montclair, grande decaf iced coffee plus big $3 tip since first Starbucks drink since March, $6.47.
• Ditto, enticement, curbside pickup to get Punch up and out early yesterday for 2 hours at doctor's office for physical, bloodwork etc, screening for behavioral program. She got 2 egg/bacon/Gouda breakfast sandwiches and one very tall iced drink, $14.20.
• Bank fees, $4.25.
• Watchung Booksellers, back-door pickup in Montclair, $28.75. The book is The Pleasures of Cooking for One by Judith Jones. It is an endearing book that I saw in the bookshop on my day trip to Southampton last summer but didn't have the money to buy it. Judith Jones (née Bailey; March 10, 1924 – August 2, 2017)^[1] was an American writer and editor, best known for having rescued The Diary of Anne Frank from the reject pile.^[2] Jones also championed Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking.^[3][4] She retired as senior editor and vice president at Alfred A. Knopf in 2011.^[5] Jones was also a cookbook author.....  I could have gotten the book much cheaper online, but when I can, I like to support my independent bookstore. It is a keepsake book and I will remember the special place where I first saw it last summer and the place I got it now.
• Figgy--I felt like giving to this hardworking college-loan holder, $20.
• Vesta Chocolate,  bag of pure cacao nibs [no sugar], 2 iced coffee drinks, 1 cacao sea salt brownie, $26 plus $3 cash tip because many small businesses are not making it and we love Vesta, $29. [We found out Joyist is closing permanently. Sad.]
• Ditto, gift bag of 3 cacao sea salt brownies for Punchy's friend's zoom bday, 1 sea salt chocolate chip cookie each for Elaine and Punch, rounded up to next dollar, $31.
• Local Jackie's Grillette, lamb and feta sandwich to last two meals, iced tea, iced coffee, 1/2 gallon organic milk, head of cauliflower, one orange pepper, one loaf local Nicolo's Italian bread, with generous tip, $37.48.
• Kings, large cart of groceries in person Sunday night: pork chops, fresh turkey burgers, vegan veggie burgers, regular veggie burgers, butter, tortilla chips, pita chips, large fresh baby spinach, bread, cantaloupe, Jarlsberg Lite slices, 3 oz. 88 percent dark chocolate bar, bag of potting soil, citronella candle, dog treats, Van's waffles, diet orange soda, large jar wheat germ, 2 half-gallons organic 2 percent milk, cashews, dried figs, and many other items, $213.
• Flowering garden plants [pink and white impatiens, red and white verbena, snapdragons, more] chosen with Punch, She planted a few today. $41.90. The pure whites made me think of the white clothing worn at George Floyd's funeral.
• Artigiano Jewel Box, the wonderful artisan treasure trove designed by Andrea Schettino in my hometown of Dumont. I was feeling especially hopeless and sad today about charting P’s path and how to help her, and I ordered this watermelon tourmaline pendant. Remember what I heard: Pink lifts the spirits of the wearer and those who see her or him. Here is the LINK. I love the handcrafted sterling silver setting. With shipping, $141.03.
• The Bail Project. Our great neighbors Liliana and Michael bought Black Lives Matter lawn signs and handed them out to those who want them, with a suggestion of places where to donate. $25.87.
• Montclair Bikery, sturdy new lock and impressive bike pump, $72.44.
• The Closer, season 4 on Netflix, $29.99.

total spend Friday, June 5 to Thursday, June 11:  $889.28.

ongoing monthly spend as of June 11:  $1,373.59.

avg daily spend: $124.87. As of now, this is more than twice as much as my avg. daily spend in March, when coronavirus took hold. I hope I can rein it in. I have been doing a lot of grocery and other shopping.

Keep an eye on/compare to previous months:

April 2020: Total monthly spend: $2,143.19.
Avg daily spend: $71.44.

March 2020--the effect of coronavirus quarantine and not working in NYC for now

Total monthly spend as of March 31: $1,916.15.

Avg daily spend: $61.81.

February 2020

Total monthly spend as of Feb. 29: $2,480.34.
Avg daily spend: $85.53.

TOTAL SPEND FOR MAY 2019: $2,348.24.

MAY AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $75.75. 

TOTAL SPEND FOR APRIL 2019: $3,634.28.

APRIL AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $121.14.

Until Tomorrow

I’ve been cleaning and tossing all day--filling bag after bag for donation--and it feels good!

Also rediscovering buried treasures, like a real gold and pearl earring--one mate had strayed--a Tiffany silver heart necklace and the Tiffany silver ring that was my 10-year anniversary gift from Hearst.

Good night. 

Pearl [not Ruby] Tuesday

Wearing my swingy faux-pearl mala beads with equally swingy leather tassel made a few years ago by talented Mary Marino. And a black, bell-sleeve Julie Brown dress I bought at STITCH a few years back, plus patterned Wolford tights I snagged on sale. I feel feminine--and trendy.

Home-based today.

I went to Punchy's IEP* meeting at 8:45....the first meeting for middle school. Key. I liked talking to the team, the people who see our Punch in school, when she is away from home and out in the world. They already know about her love for pets. Of course they do. [Every other Friday, therapy dogs come in....the teacher, who was very nice, said she loves it. Yup. So grateful they have that. And so grateful for the education and support Punch has been getting in the public school system. I hope it is enough, that she is getting what she needs. We try hard at home, and so does her Mimi.]

Then I went to Jefferson's Cafe, 88 Maple Avenue, iconic I think, on the south end of town, close to the school....I didn't know it existed until this year, and I've lived in Montclair since 1991. I also walked by on Back-to-School Night, in the rain.

The menu offers waffles with white chicken and waffles with dark chicken, plus grits and biscuits, fried catfish etc. I had a biscuit with turkey sausage and cheese....the oven treasure was warm and tender....very, very good. The perfect handheld vessel for melty Cheddar and a slim sausage patty. Some biscuits can be hard, thick, dry or rubbery. This one tasted like it was made from an old family recipe. It was on the wide side, and not too lofty. I got some cheese grits to go, also excellent.

I was the only white person I saw there. A woman in blue nursing scrubs/uniform got something to go; a man and woman arrived as I left, after parking their new SUV; two older gentlemen held the door for me on the way in; two women sat together; one young woman sat alone, in a winter hat with big pompom and sweat pants with a glittery word on the seat.

Oh, so that's how it feels, I thought, when a black person walks into a white restaurant. But am I wrong?

I am a white person and as such, in this town and at this time, feel entitled to go pretty much anywhere I choose. Is that how it feels for a black person entering a lily-white restaurant?

I think of the days of Rosa Parks. For starters, the black person would not have been served. And look--two black men welcomed me, holding the door open so I could enter. Back in the day, would a black person only be in a white restaurant if cooking, serving or washing dishes, or was that off-limits, too? Indignity. Shame on our forebears. This morning, I took zero risk to take a comfortable seat at Jefferson's Cafe. I felt I deserved to be there, in fact. I am a foodie and simply followed my nose.

I am going back, want to bring Punch and Nikki some time.

TCOY

1. Paid $600 of our $810 heating oil bill--enough to get a delivery, because the tank gauge is hovering on empty, and schedule our annual oil burner tuneup. I'm owed money for writing, but it can take a while. Thank you, Judy at oil company.
2. Short walk with Sug.
3. Private Benjamin appt. Helpful. Good insights.
4. Finally picked up my pink bike from Punchy's friend's house. She biked over there a couple of weeks ago and then it was too dark to bike back. I rolled it into back seat of our blue Toyota. Happy to have it back.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Jefferson's Cafe, down-home breakfast [see above], about $8.25 plus tip, $10.
• Kings, 2 rolls Viva,  Newman's Own dog treats to support hips and joints, and Mast Brothers dark chocolate bar on sale for $2.99, $14.
• Marcel Bakery & Kitchen, saw Rach for first time in weeks. This should also be under TCOY both for friendship and nourishing food. Daily roasted veggies over hummus, delicious, with tip, $15.

TOTAL DAILY SPEND: $39.

ONGOING MONTHLY SPEND AS OF NOV. 5: $275.33.
AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $55.06.

COMPARE TO 3 PRIOR MONTHS:

TOTAL SPEND FOR OCTOBER (31 DAYS): $2,495.36.🍎 ⬆️

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $80.49.🍎 ⬆️

_____________________________________________________________________

TOTAL SPEND FOR SEPTEMBER (30 DAYS): $2,214.43.🍎⬇️

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $73.81.🍎⬇️

_______________________________________________________________________________

TOTAL SPEND FOR AUGUST (31 DAYS): $2,895.06. ⬆️

AUGUST AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $93.39.  ⬆️

*Per Google: The IEP, Individualized Education Program, is a written document that's developed for each public school child who is eligible for special education. The IEP is created through a team effort and reviewed at least once a year. Before an IEP can be written, your child must be eligible for special education. 

"Want, and Want Will Be Your Master"

That quote in the post title--my Mom used to say that to me. I have to research who originally said it.

She knew me well, didn't she? Or was it that she knew herself?

Still job hunting. Dan and I feeling the cost of medicines, mortgage, monthly IRS payment plan, etc. etc. But it does feel good to be working together toward a healthier financial life. I'm posting this now, at 4:05 p.m., in case I don't get back on WiFi before bedtime. But likely I will be at Starbucks doing a job application after dinner; if so, will check back in and update.

We are supposed to leave for Cape Cod this Friday nite after Punchy returns about 6 from her Keiki Explorers Club day. She will be tired, but we want to avoid Saturday traffic.

If I were richer, or had more pocket/"pin" money at the moment, I would have wanted to buy these things today, impulse buys:

• Beautiful Julie Vos jewelry, sample sale ends tonight [received email].
• Barneys beach-inspired jewelry [ditto].
• And especially the Moonlight Lover overnight floral facial oil and "The Martini" Emotional Detox Bath Soak with pink Himalayan salt that Gwyneth Paltrow loves. [I received email and read about it on her goop site.] It costs $35 but contains 3 cups, enough for 3 baths, per product copy.
• The pineapple-print beach coverup with fringe, size XL, that I just passed on a clothing rack outside a boutique on my walk here. So cute.

Do I need any of those things? Nope.

TCOY

1. Set alarm for 6:20, got to 7 a.m. support group. Helpful, always helpful. Moments of clarity and grace.
2. Did a load of delicate wash with Woolite, so my dresses are fresh.
3. Watered back garden.
4. Had lots of vegs in mushroom soup at lunch. Also: Oatmeal w pecans and banana at breakfast; and at Joyist, the Greg blend with banana, PB, raw cacao, dates and raw local honey.
5. A lot of ice water.
6. Walked to town in this ghastly heat, to get exercise--and because our internet bill is a bit late, so had to come in for WiFi to work. Still, Dan was driving in, and I took the step of walking. 
7. Private Benjamin appointment coming up this afternoon.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Marcel Bakery & Kitchen, many cups of free ice water and large mushroom barley soup, plus $1 jar tip, $7.97.
• Joyist, the Greg blend, $12.

TOTAL DAILY SPEND: $19.97.

RUNNING TOTAL FOR MONTH AS OF JULY 30 [AND STARTING JULY 5]: $1,593.25.

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND SO FAR: $61.28.

This monthly spend is pretty low so far, thanks to Punchy being Mimi-based for 2 full weeks--and me being at Sis's for four nights.

Big-ticket firecracker items in July: *Marcel bkfast w Punch and loaf of bread, $29; *Tory Burch sandals, $111; Starbucks Camp day, $94 [I subtracted the Bear Mountain pickles and peaches]; Punch bday gifts for friend + tiramisu w Elaine, $37; Joyist to write, + Punch drop-in, $30; one day of Joyist Reset Meal Plan, $35; Elixir of Love body creme, $30; Kings, groceries to make Bobbi Brown website chocolate-chip cookie dough, plus candle holder and votive, $32; and Nest Fragrances candles/lip balm website order, $82; took Sis to Thai restaurant for lunch, $36; The Paper Store, cross-body bag, notebook, etc., $66; Whole Foods, quiche and chocolate espresso custard ingreds plus groceries, $80.63; pre-theatre Junior's dinner for me and P,  $64; King Kong Bway ticket, $99; and that expensive Montclair burger w shaved truffle, about $28 with tip.

A Touch of Melancholy

I think Sis and I both feel melancholy about me leaving tomorrow.....I arrived last Wednesday night.

Her home is neat, tidy and organized....I will return to some chaos.....I will do my very best.....here, I've scrubbed the white G.E. glass stovetop every night, first with cleanser and then, if necessary, used a razor blade to remove cooked-on food or gunk! I clean our stovetop at home, too, but not every night. It helps that it is dark.

I won't leave tomorrow until 4 or later to Uber to train, then connect in NYC to bus. I will have been here for visits from the nurse administrator, physical therapist and dog walker, the regular nurse and the home health aide.....a fleet of Sis's friends are standing by.....and Figgy will be coming overnight Thursday....

Good night to you.

UPDATE: Dan and I just talked at 9:33 p.m. He’s leaving later Thursday for work in Savannah--he can get Punch on morning bus and I can get back by afternoon. Now Sis won’t have to be alone tomorrow night.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT POCKET

• Parking meter near Stamford Public Library, one hour, $1 in quarters.

TOTAL DAILY SPEND: $1. 💍🛎💰
RUNNING TOTAL FOR MONTH AS OF MAY 14: $1,198.15.

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $85.58.

Money thoughts: I spied a vintage clothing store across from the Stamford Library. I popped in and it turned out that Donna Schmerzler had a pop-up shop there that was ending today. Eye-catching earrings, rings and more....but I resisted. I have to conserve my money to pay the dentist and therapist bills right now. I hope to check out Deedles & Shay [NY & CT] again sometime in the future. The business is run by twin-sister fashionistas.

keeping my eye on past numbers:

TOTAL APRIL SPEND OUT OF POCKET: $3,634.28.

AVG. DAILY SPEND FOR APRIL: $121.14.
TOTAL MARCH SPEND OUT OF POCKET: $4,128.41.

TOTAL FEBRUARY SPEND OUT OF POCKET: $3,159.25.

Put Down the Debit Card! Get off the Playground*

Sis is resting....things looking pretty good....we are back home in Connecticut now. Both of us tired, especially her. We went to sleep at about 11 p.m. [they rolled in a cot for me at the last minute] and the doctors started making their rounds at 6:30 a.m.

We liked the view of the East River--the boats, bridges, lights, neon Pepsi sign.

Sweet Buttercup was at the boarder since Wednesday; I just went and picked her up. Heavy local traffic in Stamford--Friday afternoon rush hour.

TCOY

1. Ice water.
2. Lots of vegs--cauliflower and broccoli from cafe hot line.
3. Reading.
4. Short prayer/contemplation in Meditation Room at hospital.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• NYU Medical Center Cafeteria, 2 pieces crispy bacon; 1 toasted corn muffin w butter; large Illy coffee; and 2 kosher cheese blintzes, very good [saved one for Sis], $17.20.
• Tisch Gift Shop in hospital, 2 Mother's Day gifts for me, who was tired, Amano Studio gold-plated light faux aquamarine [or blue topaz?] small post earrings, made in Sonoma, CA, $25 + tube of elizabethW small-batch Dandelion Hand Cream from California, $24, total w tax, $53.35. I tried tester tubes and hands felt so soft, scent so fresh and delicious.
• Cafeteria for lunch, 2 small pieces prime rib w horseradish cream; mashed potatoes; and a lot of vegs, plus Florentine cookie, $16.33.

TOTAL DAILY SPEND: $86.88.

RUNNING TOTAL FOR MONTH AS OF MAY 10: $1,099.23.

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $109.92.

Money thoughts: Sis had recurring breast cancer. I hope she won't mind me writing that. I was trying not to, but it all went well for now, though complicated recovery; lymph node did come back negative/clean. Our mom died of cancer at age 56 [started with hysterectomy, ended with colon cancer as cause of death]. Was I filling a void by buying the hand cream? Revisiting the past, trying to soften its hard edges? Maybe. Or maybe I'm just a compulsive spender.

*In no way do I mean to imply that a hospital is a playground. I know people go for happy occasions--having a baby, getting a lifesaving transplant--but it is the opposite of a playground most of the time. But for a spender under stress, being in a place with good foodie and beauty brands in the cafe and shop--well, they were like toys. 

My City, My Pearl

It's my city...it's everyone's city....whether you live there or not, New York City energizes you and opens your eyes to great possibilities.

Sis took the train from CT and I took the bus from NJ and we met at Grand Central for the #5 subway uptown to 86th Street. We ate at a nice French restaurant [shared excellent cheese fondue, sidestepped Crepes Suzette] and then went to the jewelry exhibit at the Met, a show that is closing shortly. Sis is a Member, so we got in free. Crowns, belts, collars, bracelets, rings, jade--from all times and all places.

It was a friendly day. We chatted with Peggy and Jane, pals since schooldays in CT., now older women, who were next to us at lunch, and at the Met, with Cathy [sp], who flew into NYC [from CA] to celebrate her 70th bday with her friend and daughter.

I got up for 7 a.m. support group, so I'm tired. Must rest. Good night to you.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• DeCamp bus to NY and back, $7.65 each way, $15.30. [Sis paid for subway with her MetroCard.]
• I  joined Joyist! Here is the link. I signed on to support the healthy venture with one unlimited coffee week, which I will get later this spring. $40.
• Lunch with Sis, $43.
• Tip for tote check at Met, $1.

DAILY TOTAL: $99.30

Going to Hell in a Handbag

Yikes.....I said I overspent yesterday, but today was one big purse party.

It's no surprise, or secret, that spending [or overspending] can be addictive and compulsive, just like cupcake or Reese's Peanut Butter Cup eating. And it's also common knowledge that people who suffer from one addiction can shift their compulsions to another.

Let's just get to it. The writing is a release, and I like that this blog--and your care--keeps me scrupulous. 

$ MONEY OUT OF POCKET

• Donation, $2.
• Figgy worked from 9 to 6 and I stopped by the store to bring her a Java Love red-eye with a little soy milk and a vegan sandwich, hummus with sun-dried tomatoes, etc. $12.95.
• Parking at meter, 50 cents.
• At Montclair Stationery, while making the delivery to Fig, I bought pretty valentines for two special people and two packs of heart-shaped paper doilies, one white and one red, $3.99 each. I hope to decorate around the house with them. I love Moleskine notebooks and was set to buy a new pink one, about $20, but Fig--who rings items up at the one register--said, without judgment, "Mom, you have so many notebooks already," so I put it back, reluctantly. I really did want it. $16.89.
• ATM bank fees, $1.25 + $3. $4.25.
• Then I went back to Blue Mercury, where I had my eye on that Trish McEvoy Golden Oil yesterday, and bought it. I also bought a Nest candle [burn time 20 hours] and a Nars Afterglow Lip Balm with SPF, $137.55.
• Oh, and Blue Mercury had a special guest: jewelry designer Regan Caton of Charmed By a Cause. Stop right there, right?  Beauty and jewels in one spot. Regan, whom I had never met before, is very nice and lives in town. She pointed out the recycled Sterling Silver and that 20 percent of sale price goes to your choice of three charities. I chose the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) and since the multi heart band ring was $80, $16 went right to that. Plus tax, $85.30. Look at this beautiful modern cocktail ring that I didn’t see until now.
• Cafe Giotto, near Blue Mercury, for avocado toast w prosciutto and two more jars of those imported Italian tomatoes, which were delicious in the pan of eggplant parmigiana. $21.86.
• Bad, bad: I thought I had parked in a legal spot but rats, I returned, dismayed, to a ticket tucked on windshield, $30. Just plain careless.
• Okay, here's where it gets crazier. Had to get groceries and get car back to Dan, who was driving to Boston to write 60-Second Novels at a party. It was 12:21 p.m. and I was supposed to have car back at 1. Long grocery list. No way I could get to ShopRite in Bloomfield after all that other frivolous shopping time. Whole Foods was a block away. Didn't pull up in front of our house til 1:17; the store was packed, hard to maneuver cart. $205.74. **[And very stressful to get car back late, miscommunication with Dan. I think he miscalculated travel time.]
• Uber to drop Punch and pal off at friend's Valentine's party in Montclair, $8.57 + $1.50 tip, $10.07.
• Too cold to walk, and felt like nesting, so took Uber back home after dropping girls off, $8.05 + $1.50 tip, $9.55. [Another mom drove them home after party.]

DAILY TOTAL: $514.75. I realize I could have purchased a round-trip flight with that amount. 

I also see that I was racing around, frenzied, in a short window of time while I had the car, independence and mobility. Like I won a 30-minute shopping spree or something. [Remember seeing that on TV? A woman would win 5 minutes in a grocery store and sprint through the aisles, filling her cart.]

I felt sorry for myself that Dan was going to Boston--even though it’s a long, tiring ride and he would be working at the event for hours--and I would be home with Punch and ferrying her to a party.

As I handed over my debit card for those splurges, I felt the freedom of being alone, and defiance; no one to stop me--except Figgy with the Moleskine. I thought I deserved these things, that this was a way of taking care of myself--gentle candle glow, nourishing body oil, smooth lip balm. I do pamper myself with those products. Beauty, style--on the outside, not in.

I often feel unappreciated and unloved by Punch in my role as her legal guardian. In another time and place, I might have soothed my unease with a rich brownie at a bakery or a candy bar from a newsstand.

----------------------------------------

**According to my receipt, I bought 50 items. Four of them were big-ticket purchases: $10.99 for a large 24-oz. bag of coffee; $13.96 [good sale] for four quarts of strawberries, two of which Punch brought to Valentine's party; $19.99 for a large jug of pure maple syrup for baking; $19.99 [excellent price] for a full pound of smoked salmon.

I bought two wasteful treats: some kind of honey & truffle [earthy, not chocolate] Greek yogurt in a small, sexy black jar, $5.99, and a wedge of fancy French triple cream cheese, $5.28, which I should have skipped.

Punch and Fig both love the chocolate oat milk from Oatly, half-gallon, $4.99. I also got a ton of healthy foods, including almonds, asparagus, a lot of bananas, 3 huge bell peppers, yams, frozen broccoli, frozen mushrooms, frozen green beans, Ezekiel bread, coconut milk, organic whole milk, 7 cans of beans to make excellent chili, ground turkey for the same, large hummus, large salsa, large imported canned tomatoes, large local canned tomatoes etc.--and for Punch and friends' next baking adventure, large bag semisweet chocolate chips, big sack King Arthur flour and pound of butter.

Big Spender

I overspent today on splurges. However, to my credit, I did make mashed potatoes and frozen breaded fish squares from Whole Foods for dinner, and Dan made a salad, so that was a savings vs. going out to dinner, which can be very expensive even when you think it won't be.

Also, I picked up Punch and friend after school at 3:35 and we walked to the pizza place, getting some exercise. I had a free parking spot on Orange Road.

We went into Blue Mercury, that beauty store I like, and Punch tried on a lipstick and filmed herself on her iPad. I spritzed on the Trish McEvoy Precious Pink Jasmine Eau de Parfum, which I love as much for its pink color and intoxicating scent as for the shape of the bottle. But I have never owned it: 1.7 fl. oz. for $210! plus tax. I loved testing the new fast-absorbing, golden, glitter-dusted 100 Luminous Hair and Body Oil [for arms, décolleté, legs etc.--and hair] on my hand--but alas, $85. Then into Lululemon, where Young Miss tried on a tiny pair of black pants made in a partnership with SoulCycle. So cute.

We bought nothing in either store. Just browsing.

After dinner, I made vegan pumpkin cookies from Vegetable Cakes, that book I was assigned to write about. Surprising ingredient for me: ground cardamom. Dan really likes the cookies. I like them ok. Kind of like a breakfast cookie. Can't get the two fifth graders to try them [yet]. Fig is out but I bet she will like them.

P.S. I just read that the golden Trish oil contains cardamom seed extract...so cardamom is the word of the day....featured in the cookies and the dream beauty potion.

$ MONEY OUT OF POCKET

It looks a million times prettier and sparkles a
thousand times more in person.

1. Let me explain myself. There's a Touchstone Crystal by Swarovski event at my favorite beauty salon periodically. I get the emails, but I've always missed the events. Kim, who works at the salon, has the beautiful Tri-Wrap Bracelet in Blush. I swooped right in on that today, joking with Kim that I hope she didn't mind me copying her. It is so pretty and looks more "blush" colored/not tan, in person. Will go nicely with black especially. I can see myself wearing it year-round, since I prefer bracelet-length sleeves. Photo above, $69 + shipping + tax. $79.95.
2. With girls, Villa Victoria Pizza. 3 special [not regular] slices, 6 garlic knots w red sauce, 1 drink, about $14.80. tip jar $2.20  $17.
3. Montclair Farms, two day-old croissants for P plus 1 container [$6.50] of chocolate-covered protein balls for all of us, even dropped one off to Figgy at work, $8.80 plus tip jar. $9.
4. Signed up for Punchy's Montclair Recreation spring soccer season online. It is such a bargain, thanks to volunteer coaches--$90 with early-bird discount, which includes player's shirt, shorts and socks. But at checkout, I made a $10 donation to help the league/fund scholarships? and ordered "fanwear" shirts for me [$17.99] and Punch [$14.99] and $5.99 for shipping. Geez, that climbed up fast from bargain to bust. $48.97.
5. CVS, would you believe Punchy's monthly RX supply of 1 mg. melatonin tablets--she takes one before bed every night--was so inexpensive? 94 cents.

TOTAL: $155.86.

Oopsy Daisy

I can see you--through the miles and over the airwaves--keeping me honest. I overspent today.

There's N., in the D.C. area, diligently reporting to work at her government job even with the shutdown/pay freeze. I spy Liz, who swore off buying new clothes and Kim, who meticulously reorganized her stuff, down to every necklace, and likes to shop her own closet. Don't forget Eileen, mother of three, who goes into Whole Foods solely for the good salmon, and will not take a cart, not even a basket, to avoid other temptations.

Can’t miss Sis, who is not an overspender or waster; Moey, who generally doesn't buy at full retail price; and Anne, who loves thrift shopping. My friend Bill, cub reporter/editor at The Daily Targum, who told me about the Mint spending tracker. And what about Mary Kate, who said I was doing well?

Or my cousin Lin? We share the same Italian immigrant grandma, Rosie, who worked hard in NYC doing piecework [artificial flowers for hats, etc.]  while mothering four boys, one who died in babyhood. I don’t think Rosie wasted money--or had much money to waste.

But in my defense: Did you know that my first staff magazine job was in a fashion department? I was indoctrinated at age 22 into the world of insider sample sales [where designers sell clothing at giveaway prices] and a locked fashion closet, similar to but smaller than the one in "The Devil Wears Prada." Did ya know that when I was at Good Housekeeping, my editor loved my accessory style and inquired about me moving from writer to fashion editor? And before that, another EIC wondered if I would be interested in being beauty editor?

Oh, hell, none of that pays the heating bill, does it?

I always check the coupon machine when I arrive at CVS to get Rxs. Today
I had $4 off Neutrogena Rainbath [I take a lot of baths] and $2.50 off
Colgate toothpaste.

Anyway, here goes. As forecasted, I received an electronic payment--for $960. Unlike someone I mentioned who might have been tempted to drink his paycheck, I did pay some key bills first.

• I was at the dentist this morning to get my crown [not gold tiara, sadly]. On my way out, I doubled down on our monthly payment plan agreement and paid $300 instead of $150.
• I paid off the total balance owed to my therapist, so I have a clean slate going forward: $320.
• Fees for using an ATM that was not my home bank: $1.25 and $3.
• Then, innocently enough, I was driving by Frederic Goodman, an anchor in our town--an establishment, a jewelry store that has been there for 40 years and is going out of business. The other day, I stepped in and Jeannie [sp] showed me a beautiful Swarovski crystal wraparound bracelet with 7 large genuine pearls spaced among the crystals. No clasp to open and close, and slow me down, making me less likely to wear it. It was marked down from $486 plus tax to $195 plus tax. It will also go nicely with the necklace your husband got you for Christmas, Jeannie said. I resisted. But the store only has a few days left and now the bright signs say, YOU SET THE PRICE. I walked in and asked Jeannie if the bracelet was still there. It was. She said How about $145? I said okay, and walked out wearing it. With tax, that was about $154. I feel like I'm disappointing you, friend, but not necessarily myself, in admitting that. I think I can see you shaking your head in dismay? Three thoughts/emotions were at play here when I handed over my debit card: 1. That I had made a big dent in family bills already and 2. That Frederic Goodman was closing, so this was a last chance and 3.,A  biggie, the idea that I deserve this treat and shouldn’t be deprived. See, the road to overeating and overspending starts with #3 for me. I lose sight of the bigger picture, my overall health and my family’s financial well-being. I also believe that fashion softens life and adds beauty and sparkle--so there’s that.
• Parking meter was 50 cents for 30 minutes.
• Next stop, Williams-Sonoma, but not for me. For a $25 gift card to mail to sweet newlyweds. [Dan and I were invited but could not attend reception.]
• Then, CVS, to get Punchy's melatonin. I spent $22.24, which included $4.99 plus tax for a Hallmark wedding card to go with the W-S gift card I will mail.
• Then I went back to Chelsea Square and got another tube of that Kiehl's Butterstick SPF Lip Treatment in Touch of Berry because I really love it and decided the color is just right. Price with tax, $20.79.
• Jackie's Grillette for my lunch and a coffee for Figgy. $15.99 plus $3 tip.  $18.99
• Joyist, where I have come to work until 4:15, for a handcrafted cappuccino [delicious custom Java Love bean blend, $6] and 2 small cacao PB cups, $4.; so $10 total.

$MSOOP

So, if we take away the family bills [therapy and dentist], and the $4.25 in ATM fees, we are left with $252.13. What? Wow. That is a lot.

Postscript
It's 3:42 p.m. and I've had a very difficult time settling down and getting my work done. Does overspending, like overcaffeinating, bring on this jingly-jangly feeling? Is it the cappuccino? Or the carbs at lunch at Jackie's? Or the overstimulation of spending too much $? Also, it does take time to write these posts....adding up every cent....I did walk the 20 minutes into town with Figgy in the brisk sunshine, but did not sleep well last night. Could use a nap right about now.

The spending continues and I feel every dollar. Punch has weekly therapy but this week is talking alone, not with me. So I'm working in Java Love, right near therapist's office and Punch will walk down and meet me. I had to buy something, so got Figgy a wrapped vegan raw bar for $4 plus 31 cents in tip jar.

Revised total. $256.44.

Bring on the Crazy

Everything feels off-kilter. Hell Monday.

1. Punch watched too much "Supergirl" on Netflix this evening and freaked out when we said her time was up--even though she had fair warning. It was frightening and upsetting. I believe this is fallout--a reaction related to seeing birth mom and baby sister 8 days ago. Things she wants more of and cannot have? Wanting to control things out of her control? Not liking adults managing her life--adults who can let her down? I am a pocket philosopher, I know.
2. Figgy is so busy with ornithology mid-term, studying hard, working. It seems like every time she turns around from the laptop to talk to me/answer a How are you doing? question, she has a different face mask on [oatmeal, blue clay etc.] I think maybe she has been breaking out from stress or something. I hope she is not taking on too much. This semester, she has organic chemistry; physics; genetics; ornithology; and maybe something else. She has several full-day Saturday birdwatching trips, often a long drive away. And a boyfriend. She is not sleeping enough. God bless.
3. Dan is unhappy and difficult even though he has a great magazine assignment. He rallied to put up our orange Halloween lights and go to CVS for tealights to put in our cute jack-o’lanterns on the mantel but then vanished into darkness of the mind & spirit again. This is all hard to bear when it is prolonged in your partner.
4. And, since everyone has to fall apart together--though no, we’re not really falling apart--even Sug got into the act, biting at a cyst and getting an infection. The vet’s office was crowded, all of us eager to help our cats and dogs. I got there at 3 [late for 2:40 appt, parked where there was no meter, escaped ticket] and left near 4:30 but love Dr. Cameron & Co. And the receptionist, Joyce, who said it was so busy yesterday that she needed roller skates to get around!
5. So what do you think someone attached to the substance sugar does on a day like this? She eats the perfect brownie perfectly wrapped in cellophane that she purchased for Punch, who loves brownies. It was baked in New York for fabulous Cafe Angelique, which has a sister location in the old train station in Tenafly. She was in that town to pick up a turquoise choker from a high-end consignment shop; she had taken 6 months to pay it off. And now that she is home, her hair looks dirty and she is tired and when she tries it on in the bedroom at 9 p.m., the choker does not at all measure up to her glamorous recollection of it. And her young girl acts mean and her dog tries to bite and her husband is angry and her college girl still isn’t home yet. The woman thinks fashion is her armor in a shifting, hard world but sometimes even fashion cannot protect her--or buffer her from the pain.

I pray for peace all around.
The girl went to sleep in her Supergirl Halloween costume, something about feeling protected or strong.
Tomorrow I’m meeting my friend/former editor in NYC for lunch and will bring my laptop to do some work before or after in my inspiring metropolis.
I am flying to Miami Saturday for four days as guest of Sis! I hope my turquoise choker, and my family, will rise to the occasion.
Below, the old train station at 1:54 p.m. today.

Good night.