Blessings Today: Spiritual and Store-Bought

A quick list.

1. My new Peanuts notebook from the Moleskine store in Moynihan Train Hall, up the escalator on the second floor. I love it. I made a list this morning of tasks for Life and for Work and found it helpful. I was productive. Dan usually doesn't read my blog, so I will say that I got him one, too (he loves Peanuts!!!!) for Father's Day. His set (shown above) includes 4 iconic Blackwing for Moleskine pencils. The following legends loved their Blackwings: John Steinbeck, Truman Capote, E.B. White, Aaron Copeland, Leonard Bernstein, Stephen Sondheim, Eugene O'Neill. You had me at Capote and White.
2. Restore & Release Yoga class tonight with Krystal at Yoga Mechanics in Montclair. "People say 'take up space,'" she said near the end. "You don't take up space, you fill the space you're given." I hope I got her wise words right. Also, lovely music and a drop of moon oil at the end, so beautiful.
3. Jones Road The Nail Polish Kit from Montclair resident Bobbi Brown. I brushed on Poppy tonight, her signature red. It feels modern and clean, went on smoothly, dried quickly. The kit includes a bottle that doubles as base and top coat. Yay. 
   
   
   
4. The New York Times cookbook, No-Recipe Recipes by Sam Sifton. I bought the crimson, cloth-covered book at Friends NYC shop in Bushwick, Brooklyn on Saturday on a fun weekend with Kim, Liz and Nan. Already made the savory French toast with torn basil and tomatoes and the pasta with puttanesca sauce. Empowering and stylish book. I take it with me to the supermarket.
5. Wednesday interactions with Figgy. My niece Leah, up in Maine. My sister. My garden.

Good night.

Note from the Farmhouse: Thanksgiving In Maine

Saturday sunset, 4:11 p.m., Curtis Light in Camden, on the far right. I went lighthouse-chasing while Dan and his brothers took a walk. Fig saw a friend, and Spice was with her cousin and aunt.

View from the 100+-year-old farmhouse in Belfast, where we are staying. Pat and Martha bought it and made it into an amazing Airbnb.

At the Lost Kitchen in Freedom, Maine, on Friday.

                                          Cheese board, hot cider. See The Lost Kitchen.

Well, my fingertips have not touched this keyboard for days, despite my best intentions. Dan and I arrived by about 8 p.m. Wednesday to a Hannaford supermarket in Belfast stripped clean of every can of spray whipped cream, every drop of heavy cream, and even Cool Whip, even frozen vegan whip, everything. (The one thing I didn't hunt down was Dream Whip, sold in boxes.) We searched in desperation for the required pumpkin pie adornment. No one wants naked pie. But apparently, Thanksgiving brings on a dairy stampede. Belfast Variety, open 365 days a year, with gas pumps, had two tall cans of Oakhurst sweetened whipped cream and we went there first, so I got one. Luckily, as in other years, my sister-in-law Martha snapped up a quart of pure whipping cream before the shelves were bare.

I knew we should have gotten it in Montclair but Dan is always in too big a rush to start the long drive. Fortunately, I got a tub of dairy-free CocoWhip at Whole Foods West Orange on Tuesday to cobble together a vegan no-bake pie for Figgy.

It is late, already 10:45 p.m. I've been off-kilter. I ate too many sweets and probably should not have made Fig that pie, but rather bought a vegan dessert. The cobbled-together dessert had a graham cracker crust, vegan mini marshmallows, chocolate chips, peanut butter and that fluffy CocoWhip.

But would an alcoholic make spiked sangria? I was tempted and succumbed. Sugar addict layering sugary things. Nope, not good. 

Today is a new day.

We were all planning to drive back today, Sunday, but Dan really wanted to do this family hike at Camden Hills State Park, where they walked to a cabin and, incidentally, made s'mores and hotdogs. It was a big group, and sounds refreshing, but I can't hike a mountain. I get too tired. So I walked over the Belfast bridge in the bay, and that was pretty. Figgy drove Spice home to Montclair so they can go to work and school tomorrow. 

We have tasks and packing in the morning, so I better resort to a list here. I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.

• Sitting with Figgy as she crocheted on a couch in the farmhouse. Hearing everyone compliment her on the sky-blue top and knee-length sweater coat she had made, and wore Thursday. I really don't want to write here about Spice. Things are still very rough around the edges. How much is enough? How much is too much? Questions from a battle-weary mother.
• Seeing our big family this long weekend. Nieces, nephews, nephew's adorable little boy, 100 percent Hurley, with that brown hair and mischievous spirit. Girlfriends, husbands. Dan's four brothers (John, Mike, Dave, Pat), their wives (Therese, Sheila, Martha). My mother-in-law! Four of her sons carried her into our car and she stayed in her wheelchair  for the holiday meal. Her daughter stuck close by her side.
• The turkey James carved perfectly, rich gravy, Martha's great salad with beets and apples, Ian's homemade rosemary dinner rolls! 
• The Lost Kitchen in Freedom, Maine. My niece Mariah told me about it on Thanksgiving. The holiday shops were open Friday and Saturday. Mariah thought I would like it. She was right. So did Spice. I got my first Erin French cookbook, with beautiful photos, stories and recipes; Maine taper candles; the restaurant's coffee bean blend from Deer Isle, etc. How could I not have known about this, and about Erin? She and her husband were outside, stoking fire pits and helping us find a seat. It was an experience to remember.
• Drove by the first house in Camden where poet Edna St. Vincent Millay lived as a girl. Did not want to be a stalker, and house number (100) was not visible. 
• Curtis Point Lighthouse, so lovely with its green beacon. Good view from the overlook.
• The winter star was lit atop Mount Battie. I saw it on my 6 p.m. drive back to Belfast.
• The lavender store, which I always love, and the Swans Island shop, with blankets and scarves, both in Camden. Beautiful. 
• The Christmas tree by the Belfast Post Office is shining bright. The tree lighting was yesterday.
• Walk over the Belfast bridge. Chilly but pretty.
• Cup of cinnamon-orange tea with my niece Leah today in her Dad's comfy High Street kitchen. Long talk. We've grown closer.

 

Does the Recipe Need More Cream? A Shower of Dark Black Pepper? Straw & Hay and "Ashes & Ink"

By Alice Garbarini Hurley

    Many Italian chefs offer a pasta classic called Straw and Hay. On Friday, I made Lidia Bastianich's version from her book of favorite recipes. The straw is regular (straw-colored) fettuccine and the hay is green (spinach) fettuccine. Add Parmigiano Reggiano, chicken broth, heavy cream, EVOO, prosciutto, baby peas, scallions.... It's an appealing idea, the recipe takes only one page in the book and is prepared in a skillet. I enjoy Lidia, and I enjoyed making it. But it wasn't exactly all I hoped for. 

Spice, teen taster, thought it needed salt, and I thought it needed more clingy richness, like that first Fettuccine Alfredo sauce I made at Dumont High School in the International Chefs' Club. I opened The Pollan Family Table cookbook (Corky, Tracy and Michael Pollan) and found another pasta in a white cream sauce---with butter, garlic, grated Parmesan, and more cream and black pepper than Lidia uses. Also: Plenty of spinach to boost the nutrition. So I made those additions.

In the end, it was good enough. But I think next time, I will also add some grilled chicken.

***  

 

Julian Shatkin as Quinn and Kathryn Erbe as his mother, Molly, in "Ashes & Ink," about addiction. Photo by Thomas Mundell.

Another two-noun title this week that was not quite everything I wanted/expected it to be: The off-Broadway production of "Ashes & Ink," a drama about addiction. The A word is almost a character.

Molly (Kathryn Erbe) is a pretty widow in an Eileen Fisher-style sweater coat. She lives in her tidy city apartment, wearing a headset, cataloging an extensive library of birdsong with a computer program. It's her business. She and her belated husband listened to birds of all feathers. The recordings also include their son, Quinn. Listen: A baby babbling, then the chirp and trill of a juvenile song sparrow. As a young mother, Molly compared the two sounds.

Now an addict in his 20s, Quinn (handsome standout Julian Shatkin, a boy in the 2014 film "Like Sunday, Like Rain") returns from Serenity House rehab, drops his duffel, sits in the chair where Molly had arranged a folded, fringed throw--stylish, homey. "That place was bullshit," he says. Right off, you know. His disorderly conduct and unpredictability are in stark contrast to the calm home, with a few bright Post-it memos on the wall and yellow No. 2 pencils neatly arranged in a cup.

Good luck with such serenity when an addict's sure foothold (in this case, in black Converse high-tops) is in the house. With his black leather jacket and silver rings, Quinn's surprise return is jarring. Molly's love partner, Leo (Francisco Solorzano at this performance) is a widower with a young son, Felix (Rhylee Watson), who adores Quinn but finds a crack pipe big brother buried under an oak tree at the country house. Felix was digging for acorns when he cut his hand. A deep cut for a parent. Shame. Your older child modeling substance abuse for a younger sibling. Making a faint effort to bury it, but no. You failed once, now might fail again because you could not nip the problem in the bud. What a loser you are. Two lives now about to be wasted at your hands.

That's how "fixers" talk to themselves. People who drain their own sanity and health, thinking it is their responsibility to solve the problem, rather than remain standing, even personally thriving, in the face of it. To be better and do better, to do their best, family members eventually arrive at acceptance. 

The Al-Anon part is good. We learn about a secret society. First, Molly faces the hand she was dealt, which takes a lot out of her, out of us all. "Where are you? Where’s my little boy who loves spinach and pirates and snowy owls?" Molly asks. "You hold your beautiful baby in your arms and smell the breast milk, crusting a little behind his ears. I’d dip Q-tips in baby oil and clean back there, really gently. Rock him to sleep and then...who knew... you end up holding a body bigger than yours and pray that he’s still breathing." 

Quinn (Julian Shatkin) and his mother, Molly (Kathryn Erbe). Photo by Thomas Mundell.

"Take Care of You. Who?" She tells of "a drudgy meeting in a dark church hall," code for Al-Anon. Molly's blue denim jacket looks small, so small on her dainty frame, but she is a fighter, a would-be warrior, silvery streaks in her hair, faint crinkles around her eyes. Life's badges, which we mothers see, and celebrate. We know the little creases are hard-earned and true. No mother wants addiction at her door. She loses precious time that could go toward, among other things, bedtime beauty cream rituals. Or work, or creativity. Or other family members. 

We are tiny but mighty in the face of A's force and grip. Like Molly, we learn the three C's of Al-Anon. "I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it." It lifts the blame.  

"Having you here and not knowing where you are is a fucking nightmare," Molly finally says to her son. "Hand me your keys. Leave me be until you can learn to stay alive. You know where to go for help."

Only problem, the story may be a bit too neatly tied up with a square knot. Molly's clearheadedness, bravery and hope, her success at getting Quinn out, at least for now, with support from Leo. IRL, it can take what feels like a lifetime to get there, and maybe there is a catharsis in watching others struggle with us, not pull it together. There's nothing neatly tied up about addiction, for the addict or a bystander. Still, this story helps us ponder, find inner strength. Know we are not alone. We wonder from seat F1 how the writer, Martha Pichey, knows all this.

The play is directed by Alice Jankell, mother to the actor who plays Quinn, with that great hair, ripped* muscles--and a tattoo that may or may not be made from both his father's ashes and studio ink.

Ashes & Ink
At the AMT Theater, Manhattan.

Performance time: 90 minutes. Running through the 2 p.m. matinee on Sunday, November 3.

Leo: Javier Molina.

Bree (Molly's sister): Tamara Flannagan.

Scenic Design: Tim McMath.

Costume Design: Kaitlin Feinberg.

Sound Design: Alexis Attalla.

Lighting Design: Paul Hudson.

Al-Anon Family Groups: alanon.org.

*Merriam-Webster says "ripped" means

1. being under the influence of alcohol or drugs: high, stoned
2. having high muscle definition

As the Sand Passed Through the Hourglass

Note the little bulbs on the brown algae. Fig and I squeezed them to release a beauty treatment to work through our hair. After all, they sell seaweed shampoo at the store.

The surf was rough in Maine--I mean crashing and scary with Punch. Like, get back on the beach, this shark-infested water could kill you. I won't go into details. And it continued to be terrorizing last night, upon return at 11 p.m., and today.

If future me wants to remember the pain and fear (oh, yeah, that's what happened that trip), my code words are Fireside Inn, soap in can and bus ticket.

But there were still some nice moments amidst the fear and danger:

1. The wedding party at Mere Point for Leah and Greg.
2. Drive to Rockport with Figgy to my niece Anna's tiny house in the woods, built by her Dad. Fig had never been there. Anna served us coffee and fruit and Grape-Nuts with a high-protein yogurt I plan to buy. Icelandic, I think, and lemon-flavored without a lot of sugar. It was lovely to see her, and see the girls together.
3. A leisurely stop by the rocky coast to explore with my firstborn and a visit to Dot's Market in Lincolnville Beach, a pricey gourmet shop with a great edit. No, no, I did not notice any chocolate peanut butter cupcakes with fat caps of swirled icing. Nope.
4. Seeing my sisters-in-law (all four). That counts Therese, with a flower in her hair; Sheila, natural beauty and gifted cook (she filled the grill with hotdogs, burgers, chicken and street corn and managed it all); Martha, intellectual, funny, fit, blonde, insightful; and Eileen, Dan's capable, professional, stylish little sister, who moved up to Maine with my mother-in-law as a young girl.
5. Biking over the historic Belfast bridge, and then walking it another day when Fig roller-skated over the span.
6. Small talk with strangers on the bridge about dogs and fishing.
7. July Fourth cookout. Nice hotdog on grilled bun, homemade potato salad.
8. Seeing our nephews' little children--and the Dads we knew as boys.
9. Belfast Co-op.
10. Chamomile flowers. I bought a plant for Anna and one to plant here at home.
11. Baking a Blueberry Galette from a Down East-published book found in Southern Maine with Nancy. The crust was raggedy, hard and off-kilter, I piled the berries too high and the juice ran all over the cookie sheet instead of staying in the galette but it still tasted good. I tried. My life was/is raggedy, hard and off-kilter, so why shouldn't the galette be? Still, I liked gathering ingredients and baking in my sister-in-law Martha's yellow kitchen.
12. Visiting dear Leah at her house on my way home to NJ. Seeing her beautiful pocket gardens and paint colors and home office and pet bunny for the kids.
13. Seaweed hair treatment. Fig and I squeezed the clear juice from the bulbs on seaweed/kelp found in Belfast. Snap, squeeze, finger-comb through hair. We like doing things like that.
14. Cocktails (I had sun tea) at Pat and Martha's neighbors' lovely old farmhouse. Smoked Gouda, sliced baby cucumber from the garden and juicy little strawberries, the fruitful gems of summer in Maine.

I was going to say sorry for another sad sap post but it's not my fault, so can't say sorry.

That's it. The pain is real but there was some beauty. And while I see that 14 might seem like a high tally, in my mind, it did not/could not cancel out even that one first night in a Maine hotel.

Mrs. List

I hope I have time to make the Bliss Balls using Ground Up nut butter from Portland. I got finely chopped walnuts and pecans for the recipe at Stop & Shop last night. 

Years ago, I nicknamed Dan "Mr. List" because he would often jot down daily plans (for life and work) in the morning, putting pen to paper. He still does.

For today, I would like to be Mrs. List, not my strong suit lately. But today Dan is driving back from almost a week in Maine. His mother, Mary, 94, has been failing. When I'm away, he tries to make it his business to have the house looking tidy when I return. Sometimes that means "a lick and promise," a phrase my mother used for doing something quickly but not thoroughly. As in, Dan might sling a sinkful of dishes into the dishwasher but since they sat too long, they emerge still dirty.

Here is my list for today, starting at 9:40 a.m. this foggy Wednesday morning. Well, it is already 9:58 a.m.. I just watched an 11 min 24 sec video of President Biden on the Seth Meyers show. It was good. But that kind of thing, the time stealing, can happen 24/7 if you let it when based at home.

• Write and publish this blog post.
• Text N, angel friend.
• Eat healthy breakfast. Oatmeal with "clean" nut butter and baked apple, milk and a little light cream. 
• Take meds.
• Write Florida postcard to Sis and put in mail basket for pickup.
• NY Times word games on laptop. Another time eater, but I love them.
• Do dishes.
• Shower/shampoo.
• Put on lemon print dress, pantyhose, makeup and earrings. Power dressing at home vs. sleepwear all day.
• Walk around the block once.
• Fold loads of clean wash.
• Make bed. (Can't yet, because clean wash piled on it.)
• Put in one load of wash.
• Write up aspire website Q & A with Inca, the young architect of a beautiful dwelling in Mexico City.
• Contemplate essay writing; where to try and sell one. 
• Have healthy lunch. Rotisserie chicken, yam, 2 t butter, S & P, roasted red peppers with a little of Figgy's delicious cilantro/tahini dressing. (Figgy moving into a NJ apt with her friend at the end of March. Will miss many good things about her, will not miss the rough things.)
• Make cocoa Bliss Balls (energy balls) from the new Nut Butter cookbook I love. The Ground Up company in Portland, Oregon provides job training for women overcoming adversity. They make wonderful nut butters (hazelnut, espresso, snickerdoodle etc) with no added sugar.
• Have Punch help me bring three Christmas bins from Dan's office up to attic?
• Make simple dinner since Dan should be home by about 6 p.m. Hmmm.....prepared mac and cheese, breaded flounder, tartar sauce, steamed broccoli, rolls and butter.

That's it for now. IDK if I can do it all. Yesterday evening, I Swiffered the bathroom floor and ceiling (yes), cleaned litter box, emptied garbage, put kitchen compost out. 

4:24 p.m. update: Another sluggish day. Did I tell you I almost broke my nose last Thursday when I face-planted on the wood floor, tripping over my open, unpacked Florida suitcase in the living room? Big pain, blood, hot tears and bruising, could barely get up....so I have been healing from that trauma, too. Napping etc. Yesterday I wore sunglasses at supermarket with Figgy (7 p.m.) You look weird, Mom, Figgy said, making me laugh.

I should start writing a story or a book, an ongoing project. Sad to say, I ate in a scattered way between breakfast and lunch and became tired, lulled to sleep, and took a long nap. Didn't have the planned lunch. I still haven't showered, but I will, or taken a walk, which I probably won't. Or put on my dress. Or done my writing work. Still cleaning in my sleepwear. Will change! Dan changed ETA to 7 p.m. so that gave me the cushion of extra time. I would like to switch up my daily routine. On my second mug of coffee with oat milk and light cream. Tall ice waters should help energize me; filling one now.

A Dreamer and Her Big Santa-Size Sack of Books for Road Trips

Vintage magazines and recipe booklets are so enchanting--especially the holiday-themed ones. This Farm Journal is from 1966; my neighbor’s Mom saved it.

When I go on my New England overnight road trips--here to Cape Cod, or to visit our family in Maine, Meg and Greg in Vermont or Sis in Connecticut--I bring so many books. (I also brought several on the August 16 girls’ trip to Florida with Figgy, Florida Orange and Skipper, since we were driving there and back.)

It’s as if I think I can catch up on what I want to do in my life--read more--while I am away from home responsibilities for an overnight or longer. And when you drive--without any real baggage limitations or extra fees--it is easy to throw in another and another book.

Besides, I can’t predict if I will be in the mood to read about Cape Cod, page through a novel or learn more ways to tie a scarf.

It’s 10 p.m., and I changed into my red plaid flannel PJ bottoms and soft cotton top from The Salty Crown in Orleans. I would like to blog about Cape Cod now, but if I do, I won’t have read any of the pages in any of the books that I brought this time. 

We head home tomorrow. I’m choosing to read after tallying this list of books I brought. Eccentric to tote such a portable library? Maybe. Yes.

1. Cape Cod, Henry David Thoreau
2. 6 in a Ford, A Tale of a Nation-Wide Tour by a Family from Maine, Marion C. Holmes, gift from Dan found at old book shed in Maine
3. Trending into Maine, Kenneth Roberts, ditto
4. How to Tie a Scarf, 33 Styles
5. A softcover 12-Step book
6. A hardcover 12-Step book
7. A 12-Step dictionary to better understand the words
8. Own It: The Secret to Life, Diane von Furstenberg
9. Shirley Jackson: A Rather Haunted Life, Ruth Franklin, gift from Sis
10. Brave Enough, Cheryl Strayed, gift from Figgy
11. What Would Jackie Do?, Shelly Branch and Sue Callaway, gift from my neighbor
12. Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self-Exploration
13. The Vanishing Half, Brit Bennett, Kate’s copy lent to me (book group)
14. Girl Scouts Handbook, W.J. Hoxie, gift from Sis
15. Java Head, Joseph Hergesheimer, copyright 1946, chosen at little free library cabinet at Snowy Owl Coffee Roasters in Brewster today (IDK what the book is about yet but it’s a pretty vintage edition)
16. Race and the Cosmos, Barbara A. Holmes, from the same library box--I thought it might interest Dan
17. Waterproof guide: Tidepools of the North Atlantic
18. Waterproof guide: The Ultimate Guide to Shells of the New England Coast and Beach Life
19. The Care and Keeping of Friends
20. Drew, holiday issue of the magazine from Drew Barrymore, bought at CVS in Montclair

And oh! My neighbor Beth was just going through her mom’s belongings and knows I love cookbooks, recipe brochures etc. So this time, I slipped these cute old reads into my Lilly laptop case. Their vintage typefaces and photos!!!

• Recipes for Happy Holidays and Goodies for Giving
• Recipes with the Marshmallow Fluff Touch
• Betty Crocker’s Cakes Kids Love for Birthdays, Holidays, Any Day
• Martha Holme’s Holiday Recipes, from the Peoples Gas Light and Coke Company, 122 S. Michigan Avenue
• Farm Journal’s Christmas Book, copyright 1966

Thank you to Beth and her mom!

Good night.

Southern Charm & the Magic of Chicken Potpie

I’m on a lot of email lists...one is for Reed Smythe & Company.

I landed there out of my deep admiration for southern writer Julia Reed (who has since died). I love her books, and she founded Reed Smythe with her longtime friend, a woman named Keith Smythe Meacham.

I love browsing the curated, pricey collection of home and entertaining items (also jewelry by Helen Bransford)....I saw a beautiful garden table with scalloped edge there, and I moon over Bransford’s chain necklace and solid gold lunar charm. But all cost hundreds of dollars, or a thousand plus. Out of loyalty and Julia love, I have ordered one of her books on the site, and a little glass votive, too.

Above: Madison Table ($1,000 plus shipping) inspired by 18th-century shutter paint color used by James and Dolley Madison. Here is product link. Oh, I just know my summer flowerpots would look so pretty on that table.

Anyway, today my email brought a recipe from Keith--her Mama’s Chicken Pie, with an endorsement from Julia (now in potpie and garden heaven, I trust).

https://www.reedsmythe.com/mary-macks-chicken-pie/

I started to follow the recipe--had Dan get the Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup on his blizzard run to ShopRite today. (I used Cream of Mushroom since Dan doesn’t eat chicken, and I was making two filling versions, one for him.)

I used Mary Mack’s technique of simmering the chicken in a stockpot with water to cook. And I loved Keith’s suggestion of pairing the pie with "blanched haricots verts with plenty of coarse salt and lemon zest.” Very good.

But then I remembered the perfect chicken potpies Punchy and I made on Christmas Eve afternoon 2020, following the book So Much to Celebrate by Katie Jacobs. The crust was so good....and easy.....I wanted to go back to that. (Katie’s filling recipe brilliantly calls for two rotisserie chickens, meat removed and shredded.)

I started cooking at 3:30 and didn’t finish until two+ hours later. It felt good, therapeutic--Cat Stevens playing on Google Speaker. Punch is at Mimi’s. Peaceful, must say.

It’s an easy, forgiving dough. I don’t have a food processor, so I adapted it here to use an electric mixer.

I would put my filling recipe here but I doctored it today to make one potful vegetarian for Dan and one with chicken for me (and the little pie I froze for Sis). So it was a mix of Mary Mack’s and Katie J’s. 

But here is the crust from Katie. It makes enough for two standard pie tops, or six individual potpie tops--or even one double-crusted pie, if you were in the mood for fruit instead.

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 cup Crisco (get the sticks, follow markings on wrapper)

1/2 cup (1 stick) cold unsalted butter, diced

1/2 to 2/3 cup ice water (with ice cubes in it)

1 large egg beaten with 1 tablespoon water (for egg wash)

In large bowl, whisk flour, salt and baking powder. Add Crisco and butter and using electric (I used handheld) mixer on low, mix until the fat is the size of peas. Pour in the half-cup ice water (it should be enough) and mix again just until the dough just starts coming together into a shaggy mess (to use the words from a favorite Fine Cooking crust recipe). Dough should not come together in a ball. If you need more water, you can drizzle a little more on. 

Press dough together into a large disk. Wrap disk in plastic wrap and put in fridge for up to 30 minutes.

Then divide disk into two and roll each out on lightly floured surface.

Potpie (or any pie) tops are not picture-perfect in my book--mine are often patched up and a little raggedy. But good ones taste like heaven on a plate.

Thanks to Katie Jacobs (who suggests brushing the tops with the egg wash after they are placed on the filling, and cutting 4 steam vents into each).

Her recommended potpie baking guide is one hour at 375 degrees (place the pies on a baking pan to prevent drips).

LMK if you try it.

Enjoy. It’s tender and delicious, one forkful after another of homespun comfort.

Baker’s Urge/Splurge: $44.53 Spanakopita

The image above is worth a million bucks in my book. That magic happens when you combine phyllo dough, melted butter and toasty oven heat. Photo from the blog Alexandra’s Kitchen.

What’s a lifelong dessert baker to do when she swears off butter/flour/sugar combinations?

I send roses, roses to my long-time writer friend and fellow blogger, Kim, who wrote about the Alexandra’s Kitchen blog, which I love. I’m also holding myself back from ordering Alexandra’s cookbook, called Bread Toast Crumbs. It looks so good. Might succumb one day. (Breads generally don’t contain sugar!)

I made the large spanakopita below, not the individual strudels. (Keep scrolling way down, past the strudels.)

https://alexandracooks.com/2012/03/23/spanakopita-strudels/

I was thinking Punch and I would be in all day and night and I would have her make it. Pandemic cooking lesson #9? (Pot roast twice, chicken pot pies once, skillet chicken ratatouille twice, raspberry buttercream chocolate cake for Christmas, Baker’s Famous One-Bowl Brownies twice.) 

She would be very good at the layering of paper-thin phyllo dough, the spooning of spinach/cheese filling, the brushing of melted butter. I know she would.

BUT: Dan was driving down to South Jersey to get his first vaccine at Rowan University, then driving into NYC to meet his lifelong friend, Dan, for dinner at an outdoor cafe. So he took Punch with him. I got a whole Saturday afternoon and evening off. I plan to take a bath while this baby bakes. It is in the oven now. 

I made two important switches because the recipe was very rich:

1. Reduced melted butter from 3 sticks (!!!!!!) to 1.5 sticks.
2. Reduce feta cheese from 1.5 lbs. to 1 lb. 
3. Reduce number of beaten eggs from 10 (!!!) to 7. After all, I was reducing the cheese, so it made sense to decrease the eggs in the filling.
4. Had to reduce the baby spinach. Recipe called for 20 oz. total (hence, all that filling, I guess) and I asked for two 11-oz. bags, but my shopper brought me two 6-oz bags. Dan has our car, and I didn’t feel like walking to Kings in freezing cold or spending more money. So be it.

Here is the receipt:

• Dozen eggs in cardboard carton (I sidestep single-use plastic when possible), $1.99.
• 2 half-pound feta blocks at $6.99 each (sounds like a lot $), $13.98.
• 2 six-ounce bags baby spinach at $5.99 each, $11.98.
• Friendship Cottage Cheese, 16 oz., $3.79.
• Athens Phyllo Dough, twin pack, 16 oz. total, $6.79.

I already had the butter on hand.

Grocery total: $38.53.

Tip: I had done $3.85 (10 percent), but bc Chaquanda had chatted with me about replacements, etc., I increased it to $5 after giving her a 5-star rating.

Service fee: $1.00.

I got Express Member free delivery but that is because I pay $9.99 per month for my Instacart membership so that I can get groceries and other items delivered from many different stores. Dan and I are looking at our grocery budget with a sharp eye, so I might cancel this membership. I’m not sure what delivery fees would be otherwise. But until now, this monthly investment has been pandemic wise, that’s for sure.

This big 9 by 13 pan is supposed to be 12 servings, so I figure if my family went out to a diner for spanakopita, it might not be as fresh and good as this and also, we would pay close to $10 each with tax and tip, and that’s not counting extras, like beverages. Maybe it would come with a salad, though.

12 diner servings x $10=$120.

Thus, $44.53 for the whole heavy panful is a bargain.

I roasted cauliflower with walnut oil. So I plan to have one serving and round out my plate with vegs.

I plan to watch the 1966 movie "Georgy Girl," set in "Swinging London," which I have never seen.

Good night to you.

Quick & Easy Roasted Chicken Ratatouille

To read about Katie Jacobs, visit THIS LINK.

Now Punch has made six things from the very pretty and reliable pink cookbook by Katie Jacobs called So Much to Celebrate: Entertaining the Ones You Love, copyright 2018.

She whipped up these signature recipes:

1. Honey Mama’s Pot Roast.
2. #1 again.
3. Chocolate Chip Cookies (she accidentally left half the butter out, but people still loved them).
4. Chicken Pot Pies.
5. Chocolate Cake with Raspberry Buttercream (for Christmas Day). It is shown on cookbook cover--Punch chose to make it in three graduated layers, like a tiered wedding cake. Even vegan Figgy said she had to make an exception and have a slice. At least it didn't contain meat, fish or poultry, right? (Dan and I had gotten vegan cupcakes and ice cream for Fig.)
6. Skillet Roasted Chicken Ratatouille.

The ratatouille called for a cast-iron skillet, but we don't have one, so she/we used our cast-iron Dutch oven. She made a separate panful for Dan, without the chicken.

I Instacarted the bone-in chicken, eggplant, zucchini, cherry tomatoes and garlic (along with basics we needed including milk, bread and taper candles). These cooking activities are empowering for Punchy and build her skills, confidence and creativity, especially in this isolated time of Covid. 

We all loved this dinner. I was gunning for her to make the pot roast again, since we have a surplus of carrots, potatoes and onions, but she made a great choice.

#futurechef

I told her I have the perfect name for her successful eatery down the road: Alice's Restaurant. LOL.

Good night to you.

Good Night, White December 16

Pretty snow.

It’s the second Wednesday that Punch made dinner. Tonight it was Honey Mama’s Pot Roast, from a pink cookbook we love by Katie Jacobs. Dan went out and got our ingredients, plus a snow shovel and fire wood. I got candles, some Christmas gifts and, at Vesta, a latte with a dollop of Chantilly (whipped) cream. It was delicious on a 27-degree afternoon.

:) 

Good Stuff

Above, a small but divine tin of designer hot chocolate for the family that my personal shopper delivered--SHOPPING LINK. The $16 price on Sarabeth's website is steeper than the $14.29 + tax Instacart price at Kings.

Definitely still speed bumps in the road--but whose life doesn't have bumps, right?

Positive notes today: 

1. Cautiously happy about a new writing client that seems right up my alley. #gratititude
2. Placed Instacart order and got ingredients for Creamy Tomato Bisque from Ina's new Modern Comfort Food. I won't lie, a big pot of soup calls for 2 cups of cream....also, saffron threads, but the store was out of them. Will do without. Punch said she will make dinner Wednesdays, so I'm hopeful, especially since she was in the mood for tomato soup yesterday.
3. In that delivery, I also made sure to get basic foods I count on: frozen cinnamon-raisin Ezekiel English muffins; jumbo Fage 2 percent Greek yogurt; canned organic pumpkin; cottage cheese; and a good whole-grain Bread Alone loaf from the Catskills. Plus: 3 cardboard half-gallons of organic whole milk (Ina's soup calls for a full quart, and Dan and I use A LOT of milk in coffee....). I'm trying to not buy single-use plastic, including gallon milk jugs, when possible.
4. One of Punchy's middle school teachers had a monthly "Among Us" night, where he and the kids play that wildly popular online game. I can't explain it, so let WIKIPEDIA: check this LINK. I loved overhearing P interacting with her school friends (and they can see each other on Zoom if they use two devices, I guess). Her friend, whose house she pods at (with his sister), came over to play, too. I made them hot chocolate and offered mini marshmallows and squirt whipped cream (Cool Whip for P.). It turns out these things were tempting for me--no surprise--but in the end, I stopped myself and walked away. Sarabeth's Hot Chocolate is the very best, and I got that in my Kings Instacart order, too.
5. Planning some nice walks this week.
6. Standing by through P's Algebra class seems to be helping us both. We are both taking notes and solving (or trying to solve) equations in live time. She has been teaching me things, such as how to define an "open equation."
7. Short walk down the hill and up again.
8. My friend served me a delicious kale salad with tahini-lemon dressing. Yum.
9. I ordered a dress I have been eyeing on Karina Dresses, which is based in Kingston, New York, Kim. They have beautiful styles; I had a $10 reward. The three dresses I have stand up well to machine washing, etc and are very comfortable and pretty.
10. Ordered Hanukkah foods with recipes from a local organic co-op for this week. P wants to be Jewish, and I like making some Jewish foods. Hoping Dan makes his very good latkes, because the produce box include Yukon Gold potatoes. Ordered chocolate gelt for the three kids in the pod, too. Also vegan stocking-stuffer treat for Figgy and something for Dan. And regional farm-sourced items like jam; sour cream; applesauce.
11. Asked my Google speaker to play Italian holiday music and she complied. Fun.

I have to sleep. My turn to get P up by 7. Kim, Lin, Nan, Liz, thanks for the nice notes--I can't comment on this laptop right now, tho I tried.

Good night.

Spending Spree--and Yet, the Sadness Persists [of Course It Does]

The book is appropriately small, about
6.5 x 8.5 inches. Judith Jones is a magical name in the publishing world.
[See below.] Her beef stew sounds like it
will nicely feed me and Punch, the only
meat eaters in the house--and Sug will surely beg for a nibble.

Things have been rocky with raising Punch. And when that happens, I tend to overspend, instead of take stock of our strengths and the blessings we have, the wind and the godspeed that can power us through rough seas. Some of this spending was essential [groceries for meals, new bike lock, new air pump, both long overdue] but some was just to cheer myself up.

• Amazon, Salt on a Robin's Tail paperback by my friend Celia's friend Andrea Kott. It's a memoir and sounds really good.   
  • Salt on a Robin’s Tail: An Unlikely Jewish Journey Through Childhood, Forgiveness and Hope, is a true story of love and loss, struggle and survival, despair and hope. It shatters stereotypes, and inspires reconciliation with painful pasts. Salt On a Robin’s Tail | Andrea Kott andreakott.org/salt-on-a-robins-tail/  With shipping and tax, $21.31.
• Amazon, SKINNY DIPPED ALMONDS SuperDark + Sea Salt Chocolate Covered Almonds, 0.46 Ounce Mini Bags, 24 Count, free shipping, $24.99 plus tax. I read about these via Nutritionist Sam, the nutrition/diet/fitness editor at Good Housekeeping who was handpicked by my friend--the great Delia Hammock--when she retired. Sam has really good advice. Our paths at work crossed briefly.
• Greenwich Avenue parking meter with Sis, 25 cents.
• Out of the Box fashion store on Greenwich Avenue, feminine floral skirt marked down from $168 to $45, with tax, $47.86.
• Iced coffees and biscotti for Sis and me, plus tip, $15.59.
• Kings, Instacart doorstep delivery today, w service fee and tip: 2 half-gallons organic reduced-fat milk; good rye bread; 1 pound good deli turkey; Acme smoked whitefish spread; brioche buns, which Punch loves; organic strawberries; 6 large bananas; Food for Life sprouted almond cereal; and 2 frozen Phillips crab cakes for Dan and Punch dinner, $77.58. 
• Starbucks, Montclair, grande decaf iced coffee plus big $3 tip since first Starbucks drink since March, $6.47.
• Ditto, enticement, curbside pickup to get Punch up and out early yesterday for 2 hours at doctor's office for physical, bloodwork etc, screening for behavioral program. She got 2 egg/bacon/Gouda breakfast sandwiches and one very tall iced drink, $14.20.
• Bank fees, $4.25.
• Watchung Booksellers, back-door pickup in Montclair, $28.75. The book is The Pleasures of Cooking for One by Judith Jones. It is an endearing book that I saw in the bookshop on my day trip to Southampton last summer but didn't have the money to buy it. Judith Jones (née Bailey; March 10, 1924 – August 2, 2017)^[1] was an American writer and editor, best known for having rescued The Diary of Anne Frank from the reject pile.^[2] Jones also championed Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking.^[3][4] She retired as senior editor and vice president at Alfred A. Knopf in 2011.^[5] Jones was also a cookbook author.....  I could have gotten the book much cheaper online, but when I can, I like to support my independent bookstore. It is a keepsake book and I will remember the special place where I first saw it last summer and the place I got it now.
• Figgy--I felt like giving to this hardworking college-loan holder, $20.
• Vesta Chocolate,  bag of pure cacao nibs [no sugar], 2 iced coffee drinks, 1 cacao sea salt brownie, $26 plus $3 cash tip because many small businesses are not making it and we love Vesta, $29. [We found out Joyist is closing permanently. Sad.]
• Ditto, gift bag of 3 cacao sea salt brownies for Punchy's friend's zoom bday, 1 sea salt chocolate chip cookie each for Elaine and Punch, rounded up to next dollar, $31.
• Local Jackie's Grillette, lamb and feta sandwich to last two meals, iced tea, iced coffee, 1/2 gallon organic milk, head of cauliflower, one orange pepper, one loaf local Nicolo's Italian bread, with generous tip, $37.48.
• Kings, large cart of groceries in person Sunday night: pork chops, fresh turkey burgers, vegan veggie burgers, regular veggie burgers, butter, tortilla chips, pita chips, large fresh baby spinach, bread, cantaloupe, Jarlsberg Lite slices, 3 oz. 88 percent dark chocolate bar, bag of potting soil, citronella candle, dog treats, Van's waffles, diet orange soda, large jar wheat germ, 2 half-gallons organic 2 percent milk, cashews, dried figs, and many other items, $213.
• Flowering garden plants [pink and white impatiens, red and white verbena, snapdragons, more] chosen with Punch, She planted a few today. $41.90. The pure whites made me think of the white clothing worn at George Floyd's funeral.
• Artigiano Jewel Box, the wonderful artisan treasure trove designed by Andrea Schettino in my hometown of Dumont. I was feeling especially hopeless and sad today about charting P’s path and how to help her, and I ordered this watermelon tourmaline pendant. Remember what I heard: Pink lifts the spirits of the wearer and those who see her or him. Here is the LINK. I love the handcrafted sterling silver setting. With shipping, $141.03.
• The Bail Project. Our great neighbors Liliana and Michael bought Black Lives Matter lawn signs and handed them out to those who want them, with a suggestion of places where to donate. $25.87.
• Montclair Bikery, sturdy new lock and impressive bike pump, $72.44.
• The Closer, season 4 on Netflix, $29.99.

total spend Friday, June 5 to Thursday, June 11:  $889.28.

ongoing monthly spend as of June 11:  $1,373.59.

avg daily spend: $124.87. As of now, this is more than twice as much as my avg. daily spend in March, when coronavirus took hold. I hope I can rein it in. I have been doing a lot of grocery and other shopping.

Keep an eye on/compare to previous months:

April 2020: Total monthly spend: $2,143.19.
Avg daily spend: $71.44.

March 2020--the effect of coronavirus quarantine and not working in NYC for now

Total monthly spend as of March 31: $1,916.15.

Avg daily spend: $61.81.

February 2020

Total monthly spend as of Feb. 29: $2,480.34.
Avg daily spend: $85.53.

TOTAL SPEND FOR MAY 2019: $2,348.24.

MAY AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $75.75. 

TOTAL SPEND FOR APRIL 2019: $3,634.28.

APRIL AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $121.14.

3 Spoonfuls of Sugar

I stumbled upon this paperback in the 1980s,
and it is a treasure.

We had some apples that were going bad, and don't like to waste anything in this time of fewer trips to the grocery store. This recipe for Apple Cake is from a charming old cookbook I love called Sweets for Saints & Sinners, by Janice Feuer, illustrated by Veronica di Rosa. It was published in San Francisco in 1980, and I found it on the "giveaway table" at my first magazine job. Woman's Day editors often put things out for the taking on the hallway tables--cross-stitched tablecloths, crafty curtains and other projects from photo shoots, cookbooks, even treats.

The recipe is so easy, you can slide it in the oven in under 30 minutes. It is really delicious. I cut back the total sugar from 1 cup to 3 tablespoons. This cake would be delicious made with hazelnut or walnut oil, but they're pricey and I didn't have any. Fig loved the cake. This small loaf is mostly fruit, and it vanishes fast.

APPLE SNACK CAKE, adapted from Sweets for Saints & Sinners

2 cups unpeeled apples [about 2 to 3 apples], rinsed and diced
1 tablespoon brown sugar
2 tablespoons white sugar
1 egg [I used egg replacer powder]
1/4 cup canola oil
2/3 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Grated nutmeg, about 1/2 "nut" or use ground nutmeg but freshly grated is best
Pinch of sea salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup white or whole-wheat flour
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
Shelled walnut or pecan halves, optional

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Line the bottom of an 8 by 4 inch loaf pan or an 8-inch cake pan with parchment paper, or butter and flour the pan.
3. Combine the diced apples with the sugars in a bowl and let stand. 
4. In medium-size bowl, whip the egg lightly with a whisk. Whisk in the oil, then cinnamon, nutmeg and salt.
5. With a wooden spoon, stir in the apple mixture, flour and vanilla. I added a handful of pecan halves.
6. Spoon the thick batter into pan; smooth out best you can.
7. Bake for about 45 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

TCOY

1. Clipped overgrown forsythia shrubs again [we have several in the backyard] and filled a lawn and leaf bag to bring to the curb.
2. Picked up my hair color bag at salon. [It was outside on salon porch with other customers' secret formulas.]
3. Ate some baby spinach.

FOOD

• Dan and I are trying hard to get Punch on board for remote school. She had 11 am Zoom session with math teacher. P lost a tooth last night [still has 3 baby teeth to go]. Was up at 2 am. Dan made a BIG brainy breakfast with scrambled eggs, Hungry Jack pancakes, bacon and sausage, with a little glass of milk. I had 2 fluffy, small, fat HJ pancakes w butter and a little pure maple syrup, 3 pc bacon, 1 sausage, 1 whole-wheat toast with butter, 1 coffee w milk.
• I made the apple cake. I had 2.5 pieces. It was so toasty and good.
• About 6 walnuts.
• Tall ice waters.
• Lunch during home school day; baby spinach w avocado, tomato, croutons, feta and a little dressing; six Bagel Bites, worst ever. 
• Second coffee with whole milk.
• 8 Ritz crackers w a couple slices Cheddar.
• Spoonful crunchy Skippy PB.
• Breaded, pan-browned flounder, tartar sauce, broccoli, Basmati rice.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Nordstrom credit card, pretty Wacoal bra on sale, free shipping, $29.98. [Using the Nordstrom phone app is fun and fast. Great filters for sales, size, brand, etc.]
• Paper Plane Coffee in Montclair, curbside pickup, three iced drinks for tomorrow at 9:30 am, can't wait, including Iced Matcha for Punch, $3.50 tip to help support staff, $22.16.
• Charity donation, Giving Tuesday Now, $25.

Total daily spend: $77.14.

Ongoing monthly spend as of May 5: $220.14.

Avg daily spend: $44.03.

Now Must Add Another Nightcap: What I Ate

One beautiful cookbook, with recipes for everything from
broiled grapefruit halves to lemon panna cotta.

My eating has gotten out of control in this coronavirus pandemic, with the stress of a changed schedule and location for Punch's schooling [now in our home] and for my work--or my efforts to send out pitches, apply for jobs, get work. I'm like a scattered hunter and gatherer at mealtimes and in between.

Tracking my spending since January 2019 has made me more watchful, so I think this will help, too--though it's a lot of data to expect myself to record--and you to read--every night. And unlike money, which I can go back and doublecheck figures on, thanks to receipts and online banking, I can't do that with food.

So now, in addition to daily reports of TCOY [Take Care of Yourself] and $ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET, I will be writing what I ate.

I hope it will help. Something's got to give. Last night, Dan came back from his shopping run with a bottle of Baileys Irish Cream and we poured it over ice. He also bought one pint of ice cream, which I try to avoid, but it was perfectly softened and melty, the way it gets when it's been in the grocery cart and the car for a while. Before I knew it, I had a silver teaspoon in hand and half the pint was gone.

FOOD [Be afraid. Be very afraid. This is not all healthy, home-cooked food like our friend Kim lists.]

• Coffee, ratio 1/3 whole milk to 2/3 java.
• Lunch, 2 pm, 3 slices Provolone, 20 whole-grain saltines, 6 paper-thin slices prosciutto, 1 oz.? fresh mozzarella, 1/2 cup deli potato salad, salted cashews.
• Second coffee, same way.
• Large ice waters.
• Dinner, 7 pm, not too much of a frozen pizza, green salad with a little blue cheese dressing.
• Bedtime, 9 pm, 1 nice cold clementine.
• 10 pm, felt a little hungry, went downstairs and had small bowl of Grape-nuts with whole milk and a splash of cream. Then for good measure, a glass of whole milk.
• 11 pm Punch wild and not going to sleep. I was drifting off. I can't stand this. I need rest. But is food armor? Went downstairs. 6 whole-grain saltines, 4 slices Alpine Lace reduced-fat Swiss, last 2 paper-thin slices prosciutto.

TCOY

1. Called a number to explore more help for Punch.
2. Called her friend's mom to talk and share my upset.
3. Salad, clementine.
4. Talked to Sis.
5. I took great pleasure in making Lemon Panna Cotta with All the Summer Berries from the Prune cookbook--well, the berry part comes tomorrow. Earlier this week, Kim and another friend shared the link to the NY Times piece about Prune restaurant facing closure after 20 years. I had never been there, but googled the cookbook. Then, on my neighborhood Facebook group, Lotta said she was putting 5 books out on her steps yesterday for giveaway. She posted a photo. I didn't see the post til almost 8:30 pm, but the big pink Prune book was still there when I ran down to Lotta's steps! It has a $45 cover price, and I love it. Such wit, the way it is written, and such fresh and wonderful recipes. L.O.V.E. I cut back the sugar, used the advised zest of 2 lemons and hope it thickens as it chills tonight. Not sure I did it right. Plan to serve tomorrow after dinner with All the Summer Berries.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• ZERO.
• Total monthly spend as of April 30: $2,143.19.
• Avg daily spend: $71.44.

Compare to previous months:

March--the effect of coronavirus quarantine and not working in NYC for now

Total monthly spend as of March 31: $1,916.15.

Avg daily spend: $61.81.

February

Total monthly spend as of Feb. 29: $2,480.34.
Avg daily spend: $85.53.

January

Total monthly spend as of Jan 31: $3,063.60.

Avg daily spend: $98.83.

December 2019 [Christmas and all that entails]

Total monthly spend as of Dec. 31: $3,998.16. 

Avg daily spend: $128.97. 

November

Total spend for November (30 days): $2,979.03. 

Average daily spend: $99.30. 

October

Total spend for OCTOBER 31 days: $2,495.36.

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $80.49.

September

TOTAL SPEND FOR SEPTEMBER (30 DAYS): $2,214.43.

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $73.81.

August

TOTAL SPEND FOR AUGUST (31 DAYS/PLUS VACAY IN HERE): $2,895.06. ⬆️

AUGUST AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $93.39.  ⬆️