Off-Broadway: "Joy" Tells a Mop-Top Mom's Story of Success

 

Betsy Wolfe ("& Juliet" and "Waitress") 

plays Long Island inventor Joy Mangano. 

By Alice Garbarini Hurley

At "Joy," you feel hope and laugh loud at the mettle of Joy Mangano, the Long Island inventor of the Miracle Mop in the 1990s. Facing the camera on QVC, she sold 18,000 mops in under 30 minutes. She elevated the unsexy tool to something more fun, if domesticity can be fun. It had a a big cotton string head that stayed fresh and pretty (remove and spin it in the washer) and a handle mechanism for easy wringing and to save back strain. 

Her story inspired the 2015 movie "Joy," starring Jennifer Lawrence. Ms. Mangano had lost her job as an airline travel agent, and her parents lived with her. The bills were piling up. The real Joy, played with sparkle here by Betsy Wolfe ("Waitress," "& Juliet"), was a divorced mom of three but off-Broadway, she has one child, a teen daughter, who can't afford things teens need and want, like money for a school trip to Disney. 

Wolfe wins as a striking blonde in mom jeans, determined to make that mop. She won't take no for an answer, especially not from the men in the QVC boardroom. She begs and borrows money from her father's glam young girlfriend, trusts her dad to manage the books (oops) and gets swindled for a patent by a cowboy who doesn't show his hand (Paul Whitty in a star turn). 

When Wolfe steps off the stage to present mops to some audience members, you can tell everyone wants one. It's a rough world outside the theater, and laughter and lightness is a buffer. A staffer quickly whisks the mops away for safekeeping until after the show. 

This feel-good production features a fine-tuned ensemble that makes quick changes and a roster of songs and dances about believing in yourself and following your dreams. Ms. Mangano went on to mop up annual sales of more than $150 million on Home Shopping Network. She developed other clever, even cute, products including slim, velvety, no-slip Huggable Hangers that caught Oprah Winfrey's eye. The people leaving the theater had pep in their steps (and maybe JOY friendship bracelets in their pockets, since they're sold out now in the official online merchandise shop). But you can still get the gray flowy tee, with a scoop neck and lettering that says SPARK CREATE INVENT SPREAD JOY. There's magic in those words.

Jennifer Lawrence starred in the movie version (2015).

The suits at QVC are captivating and funny. Charl Brown, front and center, is crush-worthy.

Joy: A True New Musical

Through Sunday, August 17 at the Laura Pels Theater, Manhattan; joythemusical.com. Running time: 2 hours.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joy Mangano, cover girl, 

February 2016 issue of Good Housekeeping Magazine.

Writing of Washing Machines

Today I wrote long and hard about the nuts and bolts of the best front-loading washing machines. By that I mean the superior models as judged by professional colleagues in thorough hands-on testing. The smartest front loaders, with intuitive sensors and features, apps to control cycles from the living room, etc. And just like wanting a new winter coat, wool sweater or dark chocolate brand when writing about those, I want one of these, too. Hell, all the ones the editors picked are excellent, but the four below stand out for me. I also love the color choices like Candy Apple Red, Champagne and Forest Green to elevate a drudge chore to glory. 

Our old white Whirlpool top-loader keeps powering on, so I will not be getting one of these any time soon. But when I see my sister's neatly stacked washer and dryer off the kitchen; my sister-in-law Eileen's handy setup of two big, nice-looking front loaders right off the bathroom; and my sister-in-law Martha's side by side machines, also near the bathroom, I want that. We have to walk from the top floor to the basement--4 flights of stairs--to get to our very basic laundry setup. We have lived in our home since 1994, a full 30 years this coming November. We inherited/purchased the previous owners' washer and dryer and had to replace both at least once in these three decades.

Noting sexism: Why do I say "Martha's" machines when she lives with her husband/my brother-in-law Pat? Laundry is not only a woman's domain anymore, not even in my house. And I think it's the technological advances, the bells and whistles, that are drawing more and more men into the laundry room. That and the fact that they need clean clothing and towels and their partners are busy living life, whether they work hard (chore and family wise and/or professionally) at home or away. 

LG WashTower in Candy Apple Red, about $2,500 or more. The washer and dryer are connected, with one control panel in the middle.

 Beko RecycledTub front-load washer. The eco tub is made from 60 recycled plastic bottles. In white, it costs about $1,400 online.

Miele washer in Lotus White with QuickIntenseWash cycle, over $2,000. I also want a pretty Miele canister vacuum in Curry Yellow. I've gone into the vacuum store on Valley Road to fawn over one. But it costs over $800. Maybe one day, bc I believe it will work and work and last and last. It will add fashion and beauty to our home, and our home will be cleaner.

GE Profile 2-in-1 Washer/Dryer Combo on sale on Amazon 

for under $2,000 but about $2,500 on GE.com. Take a look at this great video, featuring a model who is definitely not June Cleaver but very modern. Love it.

Speaking of wringers, wringing and wringing one's hands, I'm trying to keep my distance from teen drama. No amount of hand wringing and stress can stop it.

That's it, that's all. Good night, let's float off on bubbles to dreamland.

Mrs. List

I hope I have time to make the Bliss Balls using Ground Up nut butter from Portland. I got finely chopped walnuts and pecans for the recipe at Stop & Shop last night. 

Years ago, I nicknamed Dan "Mr. List" because he would often jot down daily plans (for life and work) in the morning, putting pen to paper. He still does.

For today, I would like to be Mrs. List, not my strong suit lately. But today Dan is driving back from almost a week in Maine. His mother, Mary, 94, has been failing. When I'm away, he tries to make it his business to have the house looking tidy when I return. Sometimes that means "a lick and promise," a phrase my mother used for doing something quickly but not thoroughly. As in, Dan might sling a sinkful of dishes into the dishwasher but since they sat too long, they emerge still dirty.

Here is my list for today, starting at 9:40 a.m. this foggy Wednesday morning. Well, it is already 9:58 a.m.. I just watched an 11 min 24 sec video of President Biden on the Seth Meyers show. It was good. But that kind of thing, the time stealing, can happen 24/7 if you let it when based at home.

• Write and publish this blog post.
• Text N, angel friend.
• Eat healthy breakfast. Oatmeal with "clean" nut butter and baked apple, milk and a little light cream. 
• Take meds.
• Write Florida postcard to Sis and put in mail basket for pickup.
• NY Times word games on laptop. Another time eater, but I love them.
• Do dishes.
• Shower/shampoo.
• Put on lemon print dress, pantyhose, makeup and earrings. Power dressing at home vs. sleepwear all day.
• Walk around the block once.
• Fold loads of clean wash.
• Make bed. (Can't yet, because clean wash piled on it.)
• Put in one load of wash.
• Write up aspire website Q & A with Inca, the young architect of a beautiful dwelling in Mexico City.
• Contemplate essay writing; where to try and sell one. 
• Have healthy lunch. Rotisserie chicken, yam, 2 t butter, S & P, roasted red peppers with a little of Figgy's delicious cilantro/tahini dressing. (Figgy moving into a NJ apt with her friend at the end of March. Will miss many good things about her, will not miss the rough things.)
• Make cocoa Bliss Balls (energy balls) from the new Nut Butter cookbook I love. The Ground Up company in Portland, Oregon provides job training for women overcoming adversity. They make wonderful nut butters (hazelnut, espresso, snickerdoodle etc) with no added sugar.
• Have Punch help me bring three Christmas bins from Dan's office up to attic?
• Make simple dinner since Dan should be home by about 6 p.m. Hmmm.....prepared mac and cheese, breaded flounder, tartar sauce, steamed broccoli, rolls and butter.

That's it for now. IDK if I can do it all. Yesterday evening, I Swiffered the bathroom floor and ceiling (yes), cleaned litter box, emptied garbage, put kitchen compost out. 

4:24 p.m. update: Another sluggish day. Did I tell you I almost broke my nose last Thursday when I face-planted on the wood floor, tripping over my open, unpacked Florida suitcase in the living room? Big pain, blood, hot tears and bruising, could barely get up....so I have been healing from that trauma, too. Napping etc. Yesterday I wore sunglasses at supermarket with Figgy (7 p.m.) You look weird, Mom, Figgy said, making me laugh.

I should start writing a story or a book, an ongoing project. Sad to say, I ate in a scattered way between breakfast and lunch and became tired, lulled to sleep, and took a long nap. Didn't have the planned lunch. I still haven't showered, but I will, or taken a walk, which I probably won't. Or put on my dress. Or done my writing work. Still cleaning in my sleepwear. Will change! Dan changed ETA to 7 p.m. so that gave me the cushion of extra time. I would like to switch up my daily routine. On my second mug of coffee with oat milk and light cream. Tall ice waters should help energize me; filling one now.

Postcard from My Life

Dan and me last Monday in The Sunshine State. We flew down for five nights to attend the wedding of Florida Orange, our goddaughter. We stayed in Homestead, where the wedding took place. The drive to Miami was about 40 minutes. Photo by Punch.

I can't believe I haven't blogged since November.

On the other side of our Florida trip, I wanted to jot a few notes. We returned last Wednesday.

We packed not just our suitcases, with swimsuits, sunscreen, and wedding clothes, but also our complicated and wrinkly-crinkly personalities, of course. Dan booked on Travelocity and instead of the two lovely, chilled, carefully decorated and kitchen- and laundry-equipped Airbnb homes we splurged on the last two years (the first was steps from the beach), this was the Travelodge by Wyndham Florida City Homestead Everglades motel with a free hot breakfast. (Even so, it was about $1,000 total for five nights and every room was full, many with foreign tourists.) We also had to get plane tickets for three of us, etc. and not overspend. (Fig flew JetBlue and has rewards.)

We did relax, even though we shared one room with two queen beds. I tried to prepare myself mentally ahead of time for that togetherness. (Figgy spent three out of five nights with the bride in Boynton Beach.) We were busy a lot. A rental car means everything. We explored Key Largo a little; drove to South Beach, Miami and enjoyed the gorgeous blue water and the beauty of the breeze; attended the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. Three of Dan's four brothers and two of my sisters-in-law flew down from Maine, and it was fun catching up among palm trees, also with the parents and brothers of the bride!

Figgy, 28, and Punch, on the cusp of 17, at the wedding. 

Torrential rain in the botanic garden outside, so Punch put on a sweatshirt.

My sister-in-law Martha texted this, saying Figgy's look 

reminded her of  the Portrait of Madame X painting 

by John Singer Sargent, 1884. 

I checked out the Robert Is Here tropical fruit stand, colorful and fun. It was under "Things to Do" on the couple's Knot website. I got a fresh mango smoothie with Splenda and had them add raw kale. That was healthy but the green hue not nearly as nice as pure sunny mango would have been on a rainy Florida day. I drove 15 minutes to a Sprouts supermarket, which I hadn't been able to find at home.  They carry the California brand Sweet Laurel's baking mixes (healthy, no refined sugar, also vegan for Fig). They only had the scone mix, but I scooped it up and tucked the pretty pink box in my carry-on.

Punchy did some good things. Florida Orange and Figgy invited her to hang with them and sleep over one night, so she took the train from the Miami Airport to Boynton Beach, responsibly and safely. Dan got her on the train and FLO and Fig met her on the other end. She also went back and forth to the Travelodge pool, sporting her sunglasses and a nice black swimsuit I got her. 

That afternoon in South Beach was pricey, as New York City would be for out-of-towners who don't know the place well. But we had the most enormous slices of pizza I have ever seen, just positively giant. We watched volleyball games with the sea as a backdrop. Driving back to Homestead, Punch and I drifted off into peaceful late afternoon naps after breathing in that beach air. That was a gift.

FLO and Eric tie the knot. Sweet couple. 

They crushed on each other back when; Eric is a friend of FLO's older bro.

Figgy and FLO before.

Figgy and FLO day after wedding.

Dan and FLO.

************************************

I stopped blogging because I wanted to dig in more to writing for pay, and I have. I wanted to stop spending day after day focused on a teenager's life, fielding calls from the high school, swinging at a curve ball with a ping-pong paddle. My efforts seemed fruitless. I was and am a caring witness but no one is equipped to fully fix things, not the trained staffers at a huge public school, though they tried, and surely not Dan or me. Punchy's out-of-district school placement since last March has helped greatly. I have six hours without phone calls and worries, without requests to come get her. She is in a safer place. We also consider her over-one-year relationship with her supportive boyfriend (blog name Great Smile Deep Thinker) helpful.

Still, even with the uninterrupted time, it's a bit of a crawl to make meaningful money. Publications like Brain & Life (about living with neurological diagnoses, from Alzheimer's disease to Parkinson's) pay five times as much as my lifestyle writing--which is called content production now, for the website of the golden Seven Sisters* magazine I will always hold close to my heart. But after 100+ years, that magazine has cut back from 12 issues a year to six. It's sad. Advertisers want instant clicks and purchases. They can't wait around for glossy print ads to grab a reader's purse strings. Everything is #rightnow.

I'm happy to say I've enjoyed all of the assignments. New skills. Anyway, here are three of my most recent articles:

• 12 Best Laundry Detergents of 2024, According to Cleaning Pros Good Housekeeping website
• Young Romeo & Juliet, Neurodiverse Production Brain & Life website and print magazine (subscriptions are free, and bilingual)
• Behind The Design: 5 Creative Questions With Sarah Sherman Samuel aspire design and home website

I'm broadening my horizons and it's great to be working closely again with one of my GH colleagues. 

But a funny thing happened.....just as writing about fashion eventually pumped up my style wanting and spending, even writing about CLEANING PRODUCTS has affected my buying of those. 

It's always been the case, the whole point of lifestyle writing featuring products is to make people want to get stuff. Turns out this can also work with the writer. 

I've now purchased Diptyque (pronounced DIP-TEAK) made-in-Paris wood and leather polish; Dreft baby laundry detergent in the pink bottle (I had a $3 coupon and after all, wrote "The rest of the family will also like the beloved 'Baby Fresh' scent that Dreft delivers," which I have found to be true when I could finally nab a bottle at my store) and reconnected with Caldrea, a brand I met on a Hudson Valley weekend 10 years back but hadn't encountered since. I also bought Safely detergent in a pretty colored jug at Whole Foods on Madison Avenue one Saturday when I had the car in NYC. 

These four purchases racked up a lot of spending but I think it's productive spending, as in cleaning our old wood and making the laundry smell lovely if I can. As Moey's mother, Muriel, wisely told me when I was a newlywed, getting a cleaning product that smells good helps you do the chore.

Good night to you.

*Seven Sisters can refer to a climbing hybrid rose, a cluster of stars or the group of women's (or formerly women's) colleges in the eastern U.S. having high academic and social prestige. It includes Barnard, Bryn Mawr, Mount Holyoke, Radcliffe, Smith, Vassar and Wellesley. 

For the magazine world, I like this Wikipedia definition:

The Seven Sisters is a group of magazines that has traditionally been aimed at married women who are homemakers with husbands and children, rather than single and working women.^[1] The name is derived from the Greek myth of the "seven sisters", also known as the Pleiades. A major force in 20th century American publishing, only three of the magazines are still published as physical magazines:

• Better Homes and Gardens (1922–)
• Family Circle (1932–2019)
• Good Housekeeping (1885–)
• Ladies' Home Journal (1883–2016)
• McCall's (1873–2002)
• Redbook (1903–2019)
• Woman's Day (1937–)

Check out https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Sisters_(magazines) for more details.

Sofa Cinema: We Needed Some Laughs

Jim Carrey image from HERE.

I chose “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective,” the madcap 1994 movie starring Jim Carrey and Courteney Cox.

Dan and I laughed out loud. Carrey’s physical comedy is a gift.

We also cleaned for an hour and a half today--counting both of us, that’s three hours. I organized the sheets and towels, threw out the ones bleached by daughters’ hair dying in the bathroom....filled bags to bring to Goodwill store this Friday. I’ve been gathering a lot of things, and it feels good.

Until tomorrow.

 

Don’t Wear a Cashmere Sweater to Clean the Toilet

Above, Donna Reed does housework. I found the image on this intriguing blog: http://mid-centurypink.blogspot.com/p/mid-century-housewife-project.html. Mid-century housewife project!

My Medium post below:

https://alicegarbarinihurley.medium.com/dont-wear-a-cashmere-sweater-to-clean-the-toilet-f738da492275

Good night, sleep well.

Whisked Away

I love my siblings. So if you happen to know my brother Will--who lives in NYC and doesn't read my blog--I guess please don't tell him that I didn't ask to stay in our family house that he and Kelly now own on the Cape.

It's just--they are very neat in their city apartment, and at the house. As you know, because I've written about it many times, when we leave the house on the Cape, we are expected to follow a whole list of cleaning steps. The older I get, and the more stressful my everyday life has gotten, the less willing I am to have that looming on the last day of vacation. It takes a whole day, by the time we haul out all the laundry and sheets (no washer and dryer there); clean the fridge (and I do mean clean it, not just empty it); sort all recyclables and haul to the dump with the trash; clean the bathroom, etc. etc.

My brother frowns on us hiring a cleaning service upon exit.

So when I zip up to the Cape for two or three nights, I'm not willing to take on that housework commitment. What's nice about going off-season is that room rates dip....and staying in an inn, hotel or Airbnb, I can just pack up my things and leave. That is so different and very restful.

Here's what I DID NOT have to do yesterday:

• Swab down fridge drawers with cleaning spray and paper towels.
• Pack up all of the groceries we bring back home, everything from ketchup to milk to eggs.
• Mop kitchen floor.
• Vacuum rugs.
• Clean window wells, which collect dirt up there.
• Dust wood furniture.
• Sweep up sand.
• Shake out throw rug.
• Urge Dan to get to the dump before it closes. (What would we do if we missed that? Too much trash and paper/glass/plastic to haul home to NJ. We would not have enough room in the car for ourselves, our luggage and our dog, Sugar.)
• Pack a zillion bags of things I brought up with me, including some cooking ingredients (such as pure vanilla extract); kitchen equipment (such as a cheese grater); clothing; beach towels and beach bags; several sunscreens, for variety;  journals; magazines; work folders; candles; beauty products; nature guides; magazines; stack of books; accessories; and CPAP machine.
• Gather from several rooms what I collected that trip on the Cape--stones, shells, pine cones, a jar of Cape Cod sea salt, a bag of coffee beans from the Hot Chocolate Sparrow--and maybe a speckled pink whale mug and a soft pink Eastham sweatshirt.
• Make sure all windows are locked, shades pulled halfway down (I'm serious).
• Mow lawn.
• Check refinished wood floors to be sure we cleaned up every spill and Sugar pee accident.

Have a good day.

Shoulder Wings Tired & Support from Dan

Wings tired....and writing about winged corkscrews etc. I had to tell my client I need until midnight tomorrow night [June 1] to finish.

Yikes almighty. When I get this paycheck, I might buy a pair of earrings with faux blue gemstones.

Dan has been covering things like crazy since Monday, and I am grateful. He:

• Drove to Target to get Punch the black leotard and tights we needed at last minute last night for school dance show rehearsal. It tickles me that he is such a good Dad to Punch and Figgy. I had to explain that they were tights with feet, different from the black leggings he found in her drawer for the show finale.
• Has supervised her homework every night, and done a very good job of it.
• Made us dinner.
• Did dishes and laundry.
• Took Sugar to the vet.
• Picked Punch up at school today and drove her to her 2-hour gymnastics makeup class.
• Applied her lavender-scented fox to her back last night when her muscles hurt. [Have you seen those aromatherapy animals? Filled with lavender, zap in microwave for about 90 secs.]

I know lots of Dads and husbands do lots of things, but this cooperative teamwork is a bit newer for us, at least when it goes as smoothly as this.

Right now, he's out for a well-deserved beer at Tierney's in town with our friend Michael [Anne's husband].

Good night to you.

Magically Multiplying Gadgets

Don't ask me how, I have counted the products on that itemized spreadsheet more than once.....yet the number of empty spaces awaiting copy seem to have multiplied.

Going to bed, signing off with prayers to the gadget goddess in the sky.

I have written today about many products, including

• angled cheese grater
• clear 2-cup measure
• plastic nesting measuring cups
• stainless-steel nesting measuring cups
• locking tongs
• plastic cutting board
• thin plastic cutting boards [pack of 4]
• heavy blonde wood cutting board

It does get a little easier as it progresses. For example, there are mesh strainers, mixing bowls and metal tongs that come in two or more sizes. So I don't have to recreate the wheel each time for features bullets, just the descriptive copy that alludes to what you would use the product for.

I must sleep. Good night to you. Tomorrow should be productive because Dan is getting Punchy at school around 3:35 and taking her to 4 to 6 p.m. gymnastics makeup classs, so I won't have 4 pm bus arrival interruption. 

TCOY

1. Important reading and writing.
2. Delicious cocoa cashew milk, made fresh by the bottle at Juice Culture.
3. I sautéed mushrooms and baked a potato to have with steak kabobs from Whole Foods for lunch.
4. Took little stretch in AC after lunch and read the church bulletin from the Cape and the bird-watching handout from the Audubon. I'm odd, I know, but enjoyed it.
5. Small burger sans roll for supper, with kale salad and a crunchy farmers' market pickle.
6. Texted for support.
7. Fresh cherries.

Grinding Away on Gadget Copy

Hard end-of-month deadline. For a night owl like me [and the company I'm writing for is in California], that gives me till midnight Thursday.

I have 54 products left, so that means 27 each day. And every single one requires 7 to 9 columns of copy created in a spreadsheet. I first have to study the product. Most of the copy blocks are just features, such as Opens any size can or 6-inch stainless-steel blade. But each item needs a long description, several sentences of inviting marketing copy, again created in spreadsheet format--which can feel [far] trickier and confining than composing copy on a blank page.

I've been at my desk most of the day since 10 a.m., with short, planned breaks to:

• Steam a bunch of asparagus bought at Mac's Market & Kitchen on the Cape. Drizzle two platters of it with fresh lemon juice. Leave one like that for Fig and shower the other with freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano.
• Eat lunch [shrimp, avocado, steamed asparagus].
• Have a snack [my delicious smoothie from Juice Culture that I didn't finish at breakfast].
• Start a load of Cape Cod laundry.
• Load and run the dishwasher.
• Schedule hair color and brow tint [a first] for Friday. So.much.gray.
• Water some plants outside.
• Refill my tall cup of ice water several times.
• Stretch out on the couch for 15 minutes to read this past weekend's "Modern Love" essay on NYtimes.com--and catch up on Roseanne's very unfortunate, very unfair, just plain ugly racist comment.
• Talk to our sitter/friend, Elaine, when she got Punchy after school, as she does every Tuesday.
• Talk to Figgy when she came back from campus and before she disappeared upstairs to study chemistry.
• Check Instagram, email and blogs.
• Have another snack [too much snacking].
• Put frozen wild-caught, lightly breaded fish squares in toaster oven and tell Dan to steam corn on the cob to have with dinner.
• Eat dinner.
• Give Punchy her evening medicine [melatonin and another] with ice water.
• Give Sug a brief walk.
• Pay the mortgage online.
• Sign up online to bring watermelon to Punchy's school field day on Friday.

Wow, that's a lot of breaks. I think I might have ADHD?

Sigh, takin' care of business, every day.

I have to go to bed. Our bedroom is the only room so far with an A.C. unit. I am very hot.

Good night.

TCOY
At 9:20 p.m., I drove to Whole Foods to get roasted cashews. I also got organic PB; bananas; unsweetened almond milk for Fig; veg sausages; 2 bunches local asparagus; half-pint heavy cream; almond crackers; horseradish Cheddar dip [a very snacky mistake! but tasty]; cinnamon graham crackers and little packs of Late July brand Cheddar PB sandwiches for Punchy and others; 3 bagels for others; cream cheese for bagels for others; grass-fed burgers; teriyaki beef kabobs; coffee-rubbed pork chops; energy bars with 5 ingredients; Jarlsberg and Cabot slices to top burgers; and a little round of Purple Haze lavender goat cheese from a California creamery--very expensive, an indulgence for myself. I tucked it away in the bottom crisper drawer. I think I like the name and the pretty label as much as anything else about this cheese.

The small Cypress Grove round wss pricey; $7.99.
But I'm  not buying luxe chocolate, cookies, pastries
or ice cream now.

Mystery Dream Roll (or Nightmare Note?): 11 Kids & Counting

Want to jot details before they are erased from my mind:

1. I was hired to work for a family with 11 children. The mom was very pregnant w the 12th.
2. The house was in the Poconos, I think, and had a sprawling white porch. The mountain views were breathtaking. Blue and snow-capped and soaring. Lots of windows to see them through.
3. I didn't see any other houses around. Of course not. It was probably some kind of weird compound.
4. Figgy came to live with me there, too. She was 13 or 14 in one part of the dream, and about 6 or 7 in another [referenced in #13].
5. An exotic dark-haired young woman [maybe 30 years old?] who was expecting her first child also lived there. She was a caretaker for the kids, too. She was wearing a beautiful pink mohair sweater. [I know where this detail came from. Yesterday, I popped into Le Willow 83, the fashion boutique on North Willow Street in Montclair. I saw a delicious mohair sweater that was not in my size, too small, and that I could not afford now even at 50 percent off.] She played piano and the mom said she hoped I would get to hear it there sometime [if I was lucky].
6. I have no clue about the father of the young woman's baby.
7. The dad of the house was Amish, with a beard and eyeglasses.
8. The details emerged gradually: I was supposed to work from 7 a.m. until 1 a.m. every day; no days off.
9. I don't know what the pay was.
10. Some of the children were adopted and/or had been foster children. Some had special needs. A couple had cocoa-colored skin. Some were teens. It was really hard for me to remember their names in the dream and now that I have been awake for an hour, I cannot remember any of them.
11. The mom was telling me about her organic cotton maternity top, the buttery lotion she was massaging into her belly--and the work she expected of me.
12. She and the other young expectant mom were talking about how they could feel their babies kicking.
13. The dad was showing me how to run the dishwasher. (I guess an Amish family would not have a dishwasher, but he had Amish principles.) At first I thought I had to wash everything by hand. He was so organized that the little dishwasher soap packs were in baggies for the week.
14. He prepared the meals. Some of the kids got lucky--randomly--with blueberries on their plates next to a scoop of oatmeal. Some got half a cracker sandwich [with cheese] next to the oats. There wasn't enough of everything to go around.
15. It got weird(er) when the mom said I should be sure Figgy dressed appropriately. Oh, she picks out her own outfit every day, I said. She said I would have to check it each morning because nothing should be too close-fitting or revealing.
16. On my first or second day, the mom and dad were heading out to shop, taking one little baby and leaving me with the other 10 + Figgy.

Let's just say I am very, very grateful that this was not my true life. I would love the mountain views but that is all. Coincidence that I had this dream on Punchy's 11th birthday? Now I see the connection....11 children....and a choice to raise children from the foster care system....in our case, a single child.....

Oh, and I just remembered, maybe I dreamt about this family burden because I am left unsupported by Dan this weekend to get ready for family bday pizza and cake at 5 p.m. today with a few guests, including Sis....he is under a big book writing deadline....has been logging a lot of hours in coffee shops writing....I'm under a big pots and pans [and essay] writing deadline.....but our house is a mess and guess who carved out time to do two loads of dishes and supervise two play dates yesterday? Me. I am angry and resentful. At the first play date, they begged me to do a "Chopped" competition and so I did it for the two of them. At the second, I turned my back to make the brownie base for the Baked Alexa and the partners in crime made a huge mess with slime, that gooey craze I hate. I made them clean it up, with #resistance, but I still had to help because it was horrendous. I am so grateful that my sitter, Elaine, is coming in an hour so I can go to monthly restorative yoga class. Figgy works all day Saturdays and Sundays so I can't rope her in.

Please note, though I used the term Nightmare Note, I honor the women who choose to have many children, like my mom's lifelong best friend, Elaine Bergamini, who had 9; my dear friend Anne's mom, who had 8; and Liz's mom. But this was not a happy-family kind of dream. 

Pots & Pans: A Writer's Tale

I have been at my desk most of the day and night writing about: saucepans, Dutch ovens, frying pans and sauté pans! I'm writing marketing copy for a company out in California. I am convincing buyers that they need these pans to make melty mac and cheese, Sunday sauce, caramelized bananas, fluffy pancakes....you name it. I am singing the praises of nonstick surfaces [but don't use metal cooking tools, they will scratch] and clear, vented lids.

I have to hold and study the samples as I write. My family really likes some of the pans, especially the square stovetop griddle and the mini fry pan for a single egg for Punchy. And when we made popcorn tonight in a big Dutch oven, Dan and I agreed that watching the kernels pop through the big glass lid was really kind of fun.

Brain a bit fried now, pun intended. Losing steam and must sleep. So easy to make puns about pots and pans!

Good night to you.

Signing off,
A working writer

Treasure Hunt

Here are some things I was happy to find when I dug through that dresser top yesterday, dust cloth in hand:

• The tiny gold and diamond stud earrings, the first diamonds I ever received, a lovely graduation gift from my college boyfriend, Jeff. I can't believe I haven't lost them since opening that little box and seeing the sparkling stones in my campus apartment in May 1983.
• A couple of heart pendants, Valentine gifts from Don and Sis. So pretty.
• Two pairs of Christian Dior [costume jewelry] earrings that I bought as a newlywed. One pair is faux amethyst, the other faux aquamarine. Still nice, and I know they will be even nicer once I clean them with hot water, hand soap and a toothbrush.
• My mother's mother's ring, with the birthstones of her four children. Sis passed it on to me. It's too small for my fingers; might have it made into something.
• The skinny Trish McEvoy brow pencil I bought on one of my solo summer drives to the Hamptons! There's a nice little Trish McEvoy store tucked away on Jobs Lane in Southampton. One summer day a couple/few years back, they were even selling beautiful, dreamy Trish McEvoy blouses. Wanted, wanted....not in my size, or my budget, but soooooo pretty. The colors, bows, necklines, feminine details. I can't find images of them anywhere now....HOLD THE PHONE! I just went to TrishMcEvoy.com and it looks like blouses may be coming!!! 

I digress. Must get to work at my desk. Good day to you!

When Punch Goes Away, the Parents Play

Tonight we watched the first "Rocky" movie on TV. I went to see it on my 17th birthday with my friends, Moey, Debbie and others. Great movie, then and now.

Dan and I also do things like scrub the bathtub [me] and call the IRS to work out our payment plan [him]--the extra mental space powers us on when Punch is on holiday [with her Mimi & Co.] and we know she's having a ball.

I have to go to sleep, though, or I will never get up in time to shower and get to 8 a.m. yoga class. I will just keep resetting my alarm. So, good night.

TCOY

1. Treated the rosebushes for aphids, which were eating the leaves into lacy patterns. I also applied fertilizer. Taking care of flowers is taking care of me.
2. Big salad for lunch. 
3. Important class tonight. Had to borrow my friend Elaine's car to get there since ours keeps overheating. We addressed wellness this evening--emotional, financial, physical, social, spiritual and more.
4. Walked Puff around the block.
5. About to wash my face.

HOPE IS THE THING WITH FEATHERS

Our small 1920s home is quite disorganized and bursting at the seams at the moment--Punchy's Pom Pom Wow! materials, play teacher supplies and punching bag are in the living and dining rooms. Figgy has a few fish tanks with big swimmers in her room and the basement, and one for Punchy's hermit crabs in the kitchen--I think watching the sea life calms Fig down--and Dan and I love to garden, so we have fish and plant supplies here and there.

The kitchen is cluttered and messy but, but--let that be my starting point on this list.

1. The sink and counter are piled with dirty dishes since we are busy with work deadlines BUT THERE IS FRESH COFFEE IN THE POT, COLD MILK IN THE FRIDGE AND A CUP FILLED WITH PINK BLEEDING HEART FLOWERS FROM THE YARD.
2. The bathroom could use a nice scrub BUT OUR SOLID GOLD SITTER/FRIEND WASHED, FOLDED AND PUT AWAY STACKS OF TOWELS AND WE HAVE A FEW BOTTLES OF CALMING LAVENDER BABY BATH, WHICH ALL THREE OF US FEMALES USE. [DAN HAS SOAP ON A ROPE.]
3. The dining room is decorated with Easter baskets [just put them away], bills, books, china, platters and cake pedestals BUT WE CAN ALWAYS CLEAR A SPACE FOR PUNCH TO DO HER HOMEWORK AT THE TABLE.
4. The lawn must be mowed and weeded BUT DAN TRIMMED THE RHODODENDRON HEDGES AND I GOT DAHLIA BULBS IN THE DIRT.
5. Our clean laundry gets put away on a hit or miss basis, BUT WE SPENT THREE NIGHTS AT THE CAPE IN APRIL AND HAVE WHITE CLAM SHELLS, BLACK MERMAID PURSES AND AN EGG-SHAPED ROCK TO PROVE IT.
6. The car could use a cleaning BUT WE DROVE 600 MILES ROUND TRIP TO CAPE COD AND MOTORED TO THE TIP, TO PROVINCETOWN, WHERE WE SAW WIND-WHIPPED BEACHES AND NARROW STREETS WE WON'T SOON FORGET.
7. We are short on money for our bills BUT WE SHARED TWO DINNER ENTREES BY CANDLELIGHT AT THE THE WICKED OYSTER IN WELLFLEET THAT SATURDAY NIGHT.
8. My clothes need to be organized and put away again BUT THIS MORNING, AS IF BY MAGIC, I BENT DOWN AND FOUND MY YOGA PANTS RIGHT BY THE BED AT 7:15.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers - (314)

Related Poem Content Details

BY EMILY DICKINSON [1830-1886]

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -

And sore must be the storm -

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -

And on the strangest Sea -

Yet - never - in Extremity,

It asked a crumb - of me.

Coming out of the Closet

I spent hours in the bedroom today, specifically in the closet, sifting through heaps of unorganized and sometimes wrinkled clothes. Unearthing camisoles, handbags, totes, yoga tanks and jeans. 

I organized my closet so my Tory and Lilly clothes have their own sections; the few Burberry items I have are grouped together, too.

It really helped to download Spotify on my phone and play music the whole time. I especially like the playlist called Road Trip Sing-Along Songs, with "Born to Run," "Free Fallin," "Walking on Sunshine" and lots of other great tunes.  I also had a planned break at 5:30 to go to yoga class.

It was so great to finally find my other black leather Tory Burch glove with gold zipper at cuff; I thought it was gone for good. I also found Punchy's tablet!!!!! Mimi gave it to her a couple years ago and I took it away when Punch was misbehaving but could never find it again. So glad!!!!! I had checked and rechecked all the usual hiding places. She is thrilled.

First day back to school for Punch tomorrow, and I will be back at my desk.

Good night.

Balancing Act

Sometimes things are off-kilter. I fit in the grocery shopping and a walk but then eat a readymade sandwich for dinner. Or I get Punchy to take her shower but postpone mine until the morning [like tonight]. I nurse a cold but then fall behind on work deadlines that seem to be getting more and more frequent. I brush and floss my teeth, even scrub the toilet, but cheat the dog out of long walks she loves. I water the daisies but don't empty the compost or weed the backyard. There are only so many hours in a day.

I'm doing my best to manage my life. I hope tomorrow runs smoothly.

Good night.

Diana Krall Makes Housework Bearable

Folded lots of wash while playing Diana CD tonight. Love her music. You probably already know she is a jazz singer and pianist. Her music is so soothing. She is married to Elvis Costello and they have twin sons. Gnite.

TCOY

1. Mass.

2. Folded all that wash.

3. Read more about Harper Lee after her death a few days ago. I've long loved reading whatever I could find about an author who captured my heart.

Tired, Good Niight

H. and I tag-teamed this evening, with me making dinner and baking with Punch, he doing math with her and sorting her laundry, me doing dishes, getting her into the bath and putting fresh flannel sheets on her bed, he reading Harry Potter. Then he dashed out to Tierney's on Valley Road, the old local watering hole, for drinks with his guy friends. And I am sinking to sleep. Good night to you.

TCOY

1. Boot camp in Gary's studio in Little Falls. Involved punching bags.

2. Walked Sug around block w H..

3. Nap by Christmas tree.

Book Group Report

Love my time with these friends. Jeanne brought her signature, stepped-up green salad, Julie a tray of delicious hot appetizers, Anne supplied chips and guacamole--and Karen made classic banana pudding with meringue top [she even made the vanilla wafers from scratch]. It's Southern, she said, a nod to Harper Lee. I cleaned the house for hours and served baked sweet and white potatoes and Ina's lemon chicken with pan-browned croutons.

And H. took Punch out to a movie.

I used a mix of my parents' wedding china and ours, and we had wine and ice water. Since Anne is gluten- and dairy-free, I added a bowl of organic raspberries and some dark chocolate dipped Oreos. Ooops just realized that Oreos are vegan but might not be gluten-free?

Oh, the book? We read Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee. We talked about how Jean Louise idolized Atticus; the relationship between Scout and Calpurnia; how black women must feel raising white children; and more. I played a little bit of the audio recording of the book, read by Reese Witherspoon. And along with a pot of chamomile tea, I served a pitcher of Stumptown iced coffee, with a wink to the "coffee" for friends and neighbors that Jean Louise's aunt holds at home in honor of her niece.

Good night. Not proud of losing my temper this morning.

TCOY

1. It felt good to clean and throw stuff out. To polish wood, clean mantel, mop floor.

2. Seeing my friends.