Cookie Cleanse?

My latest piece on Medium:

Addiction Story #18, Marigold: Nabisco in My Rearview Mirror.

https://alicegarbarinihurley.medium.com/addiction-story-18-marigold-nabisco-in-my-rearview-mirror-593c82ef8c7

Good night. 

Hey, Cookie

The Covid-safe cookie swap was fun! We brought the chocolate chip cookies (made by Punch) from a Katie Jacobs recipe. The five great treats we came home with were:

• Amy's shortbread rounds.
• Sally's mini pumpkin bread loaf, made from her mother's recipe.
• Lydia's cutout cookies decorated to look like pretty windows with snowy white icing trim--because we have all been stuck indoors so much, she said.  
• Jen's Norwegian cookies.
• Paige's graham cracker crack, that barklike treat you may have seen made with a saltine cracker base....with butter and chocolate.

It was really nice to catch up in the cold. I also went to Anderson Park with P and our young (six year old) neighborhood friend, a boy named G. We met friend V and her mom at park and walked, but that turned out to be rocky, then I took P and G for hot chocolate and one mini pastry each.

Good night.

I Want Your Blood & Other Upbeat Notes

Upbeat things today:

• Donated platelets at blood center. Platelets (a triple batch, the nurse called it) take a while--I arrived at 10:15 and finished by about 12:45. The young man next to me was donating Covid antibodies, which sounded promising.
• Stopped at nearby Nordstrom in Paramus to get a gift I ordered for Sis, choose something for Punch and drop off empty beauty jars, tubes and bottles for the Beautycycle program.
• Instacarted for healthful groceries. For dinner, made baked potatoes, salmon (with a drizzle of toasted sesame oil on top before it went in the oven), baby spinach salad with sliced English cucumber and my friend Jessi's lemon tahini dressing, so good.
• Six women on our block, including me, are doing a cookie swap tomorrow on Sally's driveway. Since I'm trying my best to sidestep sugar and not bake, P did the baking for our contribution. I tied pretty vintage (1970s) floral paper ribbon around each container. I'm hoping I will keep the cookies we bring home off-limits for me. I just couldn't resist this sweet holiday tradition. I don't think I have been a cookie swap since my friend Candy had one in her apartment on the Upper West Side years before she was married and had children. Because of Covid, we are all packing up the cookies ahead of time tomorrow, no touching.
• Ordered some things to arrive by Christmas. I hope I'm finished now. Well, actually, I'm not....but probably yes for shipped items. 

Good night.

Sorry Not Sorry, Santa--No Cookies for You

1. A picture of me in a dress by Karina Dresses that I came across maybe seven? years ago in Thread, a boutique that used to be right next to Bluestone Coffee Co. on Watchung Avenue in Montclair. That's Punch/Skippy sitting nearby. Then, over Labor Day Weekend 2019, Dan, Punch and I tried to go away overnight at the last minute with our friends A and M and their daughter, but the Airbnb fell through and we ended up walking around Kingston, NY, where my friend A saw the Karina Dress shop, with its motto: "The original easy dress."  However, the shop was closed. I looked it up online later.
2. A link to my latest Medium story, which includes a reference to Karina Dresses and a new teal velvet one.

https://alicegarbarinihurley.medium.com/sorry-santa-no-cookies-for-you-9330a4a10b31

Mass Was Meaningful Today

⛸🎄🍪

The Bon Appetit cookie cover was hard to resist at supermarket checkout today. New twist on Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookie, with a lot of fresh mint to tint the dough green. Hoping I can cut down the sugar and
use high-quality bittersweet chocolate. (Official Thin Mints use peppermint oil.)

I liked the sermon/homily at Mass today. It was about having hope. Also, the Advent wreath on the altar was lit--3 purple candles, and 1 pink one, so far just the first 2 purples glowing, for the first two weeks of Advent.

Our sweet friends were there in the "crying room" [generally for families with kids]--Jessica and Ben and their children, George, 5; Leo, almost 3; and Violet, born August 12. I had seen Ben at Kings after Violet was born--we had both biked there to get groceries--but Punch and I hadn't gotten over to meet the baby and drop anything off yet.

All three kids are darling....but the baby girl.....a precious little angel, smiling and pure and pretty with soft little tights and adorable shoes......such a treat.

TCOY

1. I found beauty and community at Mass--and friendship/talk when I went to pick up Punchy from sleepover at her friend's before 10:30 Mass. Her pal's Dad, a Londoner, is very nice, as are his wife and two girls. 
2. Good homemade coffee.
3. I'm going to take a cat nap if it's the last thing I do. 
4. Dan and I planning to go to see the 7 pm movie "Knives Out" with Punchy tonite. Figgy is busy.
5. Writing this post/tracking money spent.
6. Made a broccoli quiche from Joy of Cooking.
7. Face wash.
8. Eye cream.
9. Filled my Mom’s crystal bowl w clementines.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Lit a candle at church and said a prayer, $3.
• Jessica and Ben like to take the boys [now with baby sis] to the bagel shop after Mass, so Punch and I joined and I treated, counting turkey on bagel for me and tofu spread on bagel for Fig, $23.13.
• Kings, lots of groceries, because I'm finding that Dan is not so good at blending work and dinner planning and dishes, and we are not eating very healthfully. It's a ramp, a moving walkway we are all on since I have gone back to work in NYC. Sack of Halos clementines, five Bosc pears, large container baby spinach, dried figs, fresh broccoli, vegan "Provolone" cheese slices, Bell & Evans frozen chicken patties x 2, Gardein vegan entrees [buy one/get one free], good Russian rye bread, bag of Brie bites, dinner rolls, no-hormone chicken sausage breakfast patties x 2, wet dog food x 2, dozen eggs, half-gallon whole milk, whole-wheat English muffins, 2 gallons distilled water for CPAP machine, family-size box Triscuits, very large box plain Cheerios, half-pint cream, quart half and half, Murphy's Oil orange wood cleaning spray, 2 very large yams, Cheddar slices, large wedge Jarlsberg cheese, bottle Marie's Buttermilk Ranch Dressing and, something I have eyed for a while since Kings launched its Italian festival--Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking by Marcella Hazan. She is so well-known. I hope to make a dish or two to honor my/Dad's/Rosie's Italian heritage this Christmas season. I think the only M. Hazan recipes I've made are tiramisu and a simple, delicious tomato sauce my friend Rach told me about, with a bit of butter in it. $194.07. Oh--and this included the December issue of Bon Appetit Magazine, with a close-up of a beautiful chocolate-dipped minty green cookie on the cover. It was $7.99 cover price, crazy but true. I pledge that this will be my last holiday magazine purchased this year.
• Delvino's Restaurant on Main Street in Belfast, gift card to thank Pat and Martha for their hospitality in Maine over Thanksgiving. Our family stayed there; Pat and Martha so gracious. The gift card will be mailed to them. $50.

TOTAL DAILY SPEND: $270.20.

Ongoing monthly spend as of Dec. 8: $1,641.15.

Avg daily spend: $205.14.
_____________________________________________________

COMPARE TO 4 PRIOR MONTHS:

Total spend for November (30 days): $2,979.03. ⬆️

Average daily spend: $99.30. ⬆️

__________________________________________________________________

TOTAL SPEND FOR OCTOBER (31 DAYS): $2,495.36.🍎 ⬆️

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $80.49.🍎 ⬆️

_____________________________________________________________________

TOTAL SPEND FOR SEPTEMBER (30 DAYS): $2,214.43.🍎⬇️

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $73.81.🍎⬇️

___________________________________________________________________________

TOTAL SPEND FOR AUGUST (31 DAYS): $2,895.06. ⬆️

AUGUST AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $93.39.  ⬆️

New Arctic Blast at Home!

Dan went out Saturday and got a big A.C. for our dining room. We are loving it, and I even worked at home today, mostly in comfort.

TCOY

1. Biked to 7 a.m. support group. Found comfort there.
2. Made a recipe for chocolate chip cookie dough--you roll it in balls and eat, unbaked, as a snack. Almond flour, unsweetened coconut, Enjoy Life dark chocolate chips, no cupfuls of sugar or sticks of butter. It's vegan and calls for Bobbi Brown's EVOLUTION_18 Overnight Vanilla supplement [don't think that is vegan] but I didn't have that; it's on back order. I added some pure vanilla extract. Nor did I have home-soaked or store-bought cashew butter. I substituted peanut butter. I think it would be much better with cashew butter. Next time. My cookie monster verdict: Might be better with the vanilla supplement, too. The treats are not very sweet. And photo of dough on website looks much lighter than mine, due to my PB vs. purer, paler cashew butter. Fig working at campus lab so I don't have her verdict yet.
3. Worked; writing a consumer/health piece for Brain & Life Magazine. Enjoy donning reporter's visor.
4. Private Benjamin appointment. Life feels lighter when I talk to my therapist about depression, money, job hunt, parenting, marriage, most everything.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Kings supermarket, Enjoy Life dark chocolate chips, Bob's Red Mill almond flour [pricey $11.99 per lb. bag], 2 cans Bumblebee tuna, 1 blue glass candle lantern to hang from our dwarf apple tree tonight, and one votive candle to put in it, about $32.
• Uber to Private Benjamin 4:30 appt, plus tip, $9.82. [Dan drove car to Clifton Public Library to write there.]
• Uber back from appt, plus tip, $9.63.
• Yet another Uber home from the movies [Dan and Fig went to a horror movie, they like those] and I went to a great documentary I will write about here. $10.

TOTAL DAILY SPEND: $61.45.

RUNNING TOTAL FOR MONTH AS OF JULY 16 [AND STARTING JULY 5]: $752.43.

JULY AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $62.70.

Big-ticket firecracker items in July: *Marcel bkfast w Punch and loaf of bread, $29; *Tory Burch sandals, $111; Starbucks Camp day, $94 [I subtracted the Bear Mountain pickles and peaches]; Punch bday gifts for friend + tiramisu w Elaine, $37; Joyist to write, + Punch drop-in, $30; one day of Joyist Reset Meal Plan, $35; Elixir of Love body creme, $30; Kings, groceries to make Bobbi Brown website chocolate-chip cookie dough, plus candle holder and votive, $32.

Update, Hospital Food [Carb Loading] & Shopping

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• NYU Medical Center Cafeteria: crustless round quiche, $5.50; 2 small sausage links, $2.50; everything bagel, $1.75; smoked salmon [they gave me A LOT], $4.40; cream cheese, $1; tomato, 30 cents; and then back a second time for large coffee, $2.60 and bag of Financier Patisserie brand mini Coconut Rochers, small macaroons dipped in dark chocolate, $5.50. I saved half the bagel with lox--and of course half the bag of Coconut Rochers--for later. Total for two bills, $25.44. Please note, assuming this is the same size bag as the one on the patisserie website, the hospital gives a discount. On the website, $7.85. It's nice to know a hospital gives a discount on something. Though I have to say this place seems impeccable--in terms of service, staff, organization, branding [including purple color], cleanliness, comfort and more. Sis worked for NYU [prosthetics research] for more than 30 years.
• Amazon, as I sat in the waiting room. The Jackie Kennedy book for my next boot camp book club [book camp] meeting; Ruth Reichl's latest memoir about editing Gourmet Magazine [required reading for a magazine staffer and magazine lover like me]; monogrammed Lilly Pulitzer case for my iPhone 6 [my case is ragged]; and a Maida Heatter book that looked like a must. Total, $65.16. Here are the items. Check that phone case! 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Hospital gift shop. Beautiful low rose arrangement in small stoneware vessel for Sis; card; box of Li-Lac French Chocolates in lovely lavender floral box; a pair of Peepers reading glasses for me; and bag Australian black licorice, including steep NYC local sales tax of 8.875 percent [$9.01], $110.51. Flowers, card and chocolates for Sis from me, Dan, Fig, Punch and Sugar.

• Cafeteria, bottle of water, cup of ice, dark Toblerone bar, muffin, small bag chips, Illy coffee made from freshly ground beans, $13.40. 

TOTAL DAILY SPEND: $214.51.

MONTHLY SPEND AS OF MAY 9: $1,012.35.

AVERAGE DAILY SPEND: $112.48.

Money thoughts: Geez, I am tired and spending the night in hospital with Sis. We rose 5:15 a.m. and left 6:30 a.m with me driving from CT; got to NYU on First Avenue by 8 a.m. You can see that I bought a lot of carbohydrates, I think partly for fuel and partly an attempt to buffer stress. But the surgery went well, good outcome.

I also took my waiting-room opportunity to pay the $400 balance owed for Punchy's week of summer camp at the Wellfleet Bay Wildlife Sanctuary, but not listing that here. The week of day camp for $450 in my favorite place on earth would normally be $500 total but since we are Audubon members, $50 savings.

Adrift But Admiring

Hi....Punch and I went to the South Orange Performing Arts Center this evening, where my friend Anne Mernin, impressive director of Toni's Kitchen in Montclair, was honored with an award at a Women's History Month event.

Anne is an inspiration to me--and to plenty of other people. Punchy and I were proud to attend. Our friend's work as director of the soup kitchen in town over the last eight years has touched and improved many lives, and not just by offering nutritious hot meals. Toni's brings in a nurse to do health screenings, offers memoir workshops for guests [Elly and I led those for a while], and one of my favorite things Anne has done is introduce a backpack program. Children from low-income families get a backpack to bring home, filled with shelf-stable meal ingredients [tunafish, PB, etc.], after-school snacks like granola bars, and fresh produce...then they bring it back empty and it is filled again, like a portable cupboard. How brilliant. Anne doesn't want anyone to be singled out...wants to preserve the families' respect and dignity. The backpacks are distributed discreetly, such as at after-care tutoring programs.

But when our families went out to dinner after the event tonight, Anne asked me what I did today and I didn't have a productive report for the time between 8:35, when Punch leaves for school, and 4, when the bus drops her off. Here is a rambling list....took a bath...cleaned up after Sugar, who has more accidents in the house now....made breakfast and ate it...emailed Rach...talked to Sis....emailed school librarian because I slacked off on volunteering this month, signed up now for a couple of days in April...changed my outfit twice...browsed recipes online...which led me to a link for an interview with a high-profile foodie I admire...and she said that as opposed to job/career boards, to write/reach out directly to people you admire and try to meet for coffee...so now I'm planning that...I did it as a young writer, too, mailing a note to Joan Didion and getting an encouraging letter back! I also procrastinated on starting my article assignments for the next issue of ASPIRE DESIGN AND HOME, which I will tackle tomorrow...I found info needed for writing project due April 8....and then at 3 p.m., I left to walk into town, get flowers for Anne and groceries, get car keys from Dan, who parked at library, and zip back to meet Punchy's bus....

TCOY

1. Cheerios with banana. 
2. Warm bath.
3. Walked into town.
4. Bought ingredients for the Melissa Clark recipe in today's NY Times Food section--it's a main dish, Baked Polenta with Crispy Leeks and Blue Cheese.  Maybe I will try and also make a vegan version, without butter and cheese, for Figgy. It won't taste nearly as good, but she might like it with the crispy leeks anyway.

$ MONEY SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Kings, bouquet of  pale blue hydrangeas for my friend, pound of Breakstone butter [sale], Wasa rye crisps [coupon], If You Care recycled aluminum foil, 3 large leeks, Bob's Red Mill polenta, crumbled gorgonzola [$7], hot chicken sub [did not plan my lunch very well; it was 4 p.m. and I was overhungry], $49.07. The good news is, I'm set for making polenta for dinner tomorrow night, with steamed green beans on the side.
• Two boxes of Thin Mints Girl Scout Cookies purchased by and for Punch, $8. [They are vegan and Fig loves them, too, so Punch will share. But I can't keep them in the kitchen because too tempting.]
• Went to CVS for Punch Rx, bought Foster Grant sunglasses [big spend, $21.99 + tax; mine broke a while ago and I've been walking in and out of town with a deep squint], pint Fairlife chocolate milk for Punch, half-gallon organic milk, single-roll pack of Oreos, $33.02.

DAILY TOTAL: $90.09.

RUNNING TOTAL FOR MONTH AS OF MARCH 26: $3899.31.

SO FAR, THAT'S AN AVERAGE DAILY SPEND OF: $144.42.
MONEY THOUGHT: Oh, Girl Scout Cookies! Mom was a Girl Scout leader/assistant for Sis's troop. I remember when I was finally a Scout, in the 1970s, and got to sell the cookies. We went door-to-door with a large envelope that had color photos of each kind; we kept the money collected inside. I went across the street to the mysterious green ranch house, where the nice lady always bought several boxes. When I see Girl Scouts selling now, it warms my heart. Tradition. And empowering--now that I've been a co-leader, too, for Fig's troop, I know that the girls earn a profit per box [though not nearly as much as you might think] and use the funds to go somewhere special. Our Scouts went on a sleepover to a hotel with a pool one year, and to Great Wolf Lodge another year. 

Sunday Calm

Punchy's pal came over and they made oatmeal raisin cookies to sell door to door. I think they priced them pretty high--one dollar each?!!!--and took in $24 in profit.

I had them use the recipe from the Martha Stewart Baking Handbook. It calls for light brown sugar, pure maple syrup, pure vanilla--and a cup of shredded coconut, but the girls nixed that. I told them toasted coconut takes oatmeal cookies over the top; my friends love that trick I learned from a Good Housekeeping recipe. But today, no coconut.

Figgy was good enough to load the dishwasher when she got back from work; I keep telling the girls, who love to bake and sell, that cleaning up is a big part of being a baker. But once the cookies were ready, they were out on foot with their tray, ringing doorbells. And I was stretched out on the couch, reading "Modern Love" in the Times.

I want to get into bed and read some more now. Monday is coming soon!

Good night.

TCOY

1. Oatmeal w pure pumpkin and sliced almonds, a little cream.
2. Hot bubble bath.
3. Applied Naked & Thriving Detox Oil for face, Nars concealer sample [really like it], Trish McEvoy beauty oil, earrings, skirt, black V-neck, Nars lip balm [love it].
4. Baked those healthy pumpkin cookies again.
5. Turkey chili.
6. Went to 6:30 p.m. Mass with girls. 
7. Grateful to hear Figgy reading to Punch at bedtime, Good feeling.

$ SPENT OUT OF POCKET

• Church donation, $20. 
• By the time we left Mass and found the restrooms, it was after 7:30, the girls were hungry and I didn't want to return V. on a schoolnight without giving her dinner. That's the problem with a Sunday evening Mass. So we went to Villa Victoria, where I got a chicken parm hero for the girls to share and an eggplant one for Dan and me to have at home, plus one can seltzer + tip, $24.
• CVS for jumbo bottle of Listerine Cool Mint Mouthwash, Dr. Teal's bath salts [Punch using now], Dentastix for Sugar [pricey, $12.99], milk, $1.00 American Heart Association donation at register, etc. $39.80.

TOTAL: $83.80.

Big Spender

I overspent today on splurges. However, to my credit, I did make mashed potatoes and frozen breaded fish squares from Whole Foods for dinner, and Dan made a salad, so that was a savings vs. going out to dinner, which can be very expensive even when you think it won't be.

Also, I picked up Punch and friend after school at 3:35 and we walked to the pizza place, getting some exercise. I had a free parking spot on Orange Road.

We went into Blue Mercury, that beauty store I like, and Punch tried on a lipstick and filmed herself on her iPad. I spritzed on the Trish McEvoy Precious Pink Jasmine Eau de Parfum, which I love as much for its pink color and intoxicating scent as for the shape of the bottle. But I have never owned it: 1.7 fl. oz. for $210! plus tax. I loved testing the new fast-absorbing, golden, glitter-dusted 100 Luminous Hair and Body Oil [for arms, décolleté, legs etc.--and hair] on my hand--but alas, $85. Then into Lululemon, where Young Miss tried on a tiny pair of black pants made in a partnership with SoulCycle. So cute.

We bought nothing in either store. Just browsing.

After dinner, I made vegan pumpkin cookies from Vegetable Cakes, that book I was assigned to write about. Surprising ingredient for me: ground cardamom. Dan really likes the cookies. I like them ok. Kind of like a breakfast cookie. Can't get the two fifth graders to try them [yet]. Fig is out but I bet she will like them.

P.S. I just read that the golden Trish oil contains cardamom seed extract...so cardamom is the word of the day....featured in the cookies and the dream beauty potion.

$ MONEY OUT OF POCKET

It looks a million times prettier and sparkles a
thousand times more in person.

1. Let me explain myself. There's a Touchstone Crystal by Swarovski event at my favorite beauty salon periodically. I get the emails, but I've always missed the events. Kim, who works at the salon, has the beautiful Tri-Wrap Bracelet in Blush. I swooped right in on that today, joking with Kim that I hope she didn't mind me copying her. It is so pretty and looks more "blush" colored/not tan, in person. Will go nicely with black especially. I can see myself wearing it year-round, since I prefer bracelet-length sleeves. Photo above, $69 + shipping + tax. $79.95.
2. With girls, Villa Victoria Pizza. 3 special [not regular] slices, 6 garlic knots w red sauce, 1 drink, about $14.80. tip jar $2.20  $17.
3. Montclair Farms, two day-old croissants for P plus 1 container [$6.50] of chocolate-covered protein balls for all of us, even dropped one off to Figgy at work, $8.80 plus tip jar. $9.
4. Signed up for Punchy's Montclair Recreation spring soccer season online. It is such a bargain, thanks to volunteer coaches--$90 with early-bird discount, which includes player's shirt, shorts and socks. But at checkout, I made a $10 donation to help the league/fund scholarships? and ordered "fanwear" shirts for me [$17.99] and Punch [$14.99] and $5.99 for shipping. Geez, that climbed up fast from bargain to bust. $48.97.
5. CVS, would you believe Punchy's monthly RX supply of 1 mg. melatonin tablets--she takes one before bed every night--was so inexpensive? 94 cents.

TOTAL: $155.86.

Under the Sea

This frozen baby octopus is from shop.fultonfishmarket.com.
The children did not buy baby octopus, but
this picture will give you an idea.

Second day off, 4-day MLK weekend. Back to school tomorrow.

Punchy loves her friends, V. and F., very nice twins, and they came over to our house when their mom went to work at 9. They stayed til about 2:45, when their sitter came. My Elaine came at 3. Sis was also in the house, and we enjoyed seeing her. She dropped off her dog, Buttercup, a spunky little pal we will happily watch for 10 days while Sis travels to California. Sis also brought a pizza.

Here is how we spent the day with V., a girl, and F., a boy--both fifth graders, like Punchy.

• Baked a chocolate cake layer from good [Namaste] mix.
• After texting the twins' mom to be sure I could send them all to town without me, they walked in the brisk cold to Kings to get butter and pure vanilla extract, to make snickerdoodles. I gave them $20, because the price of vanilla extract has gone sky-high. I hoped they could get a small McCormick bottle. They planned to go door-to-door selling these treats.
• They came home with pink, frost-nipped cheeks, having spent my $20 plus a few dollars Punch had in her purse--on 1/2 pound butter, a big frozen octopus thingy and 3 mochi [pastel, dough-wrapped Japanese ice cream balls].
• Made a Joy of Cooking silky chocolate sauce to pour over the layer. Nice glaze. I wanted them to do the mocha sauce, but the twins don't drink coffee. 
• Steamed the octopus; it was kind of creepy, with suction cups and all. But all three ate it, I think?, and made some video about it, using my phone.
• Accidentally dropped the tray of chocolate cake slices on the block.
• Came back and ate some cake.
• Made snickerdoodles dough. Then, since they were out ringing doorbells to sell, I rolled the dough into balls, dunked them in cinnamon-sugar, popped on cookie sheets and baked.
• They made $13.25 selling the goodies. I kept $5. Sis had to bring me a brand-new bottle of vanilla from her Connecticut cabinet. Fortunately, she had it, since I could not use the $12.99 octopus in cookies.
• I did a lot of dishes--bowls, measuring cups etc. 

As a mother, I have been at home and in the workplace. I would have to say this 5.5 hours was kind of tiring, though I did listen to some good music in the kitchen. And that tiring was even with the kids out for groceries [15 min. walk each way, plus time in store] and for peddling. But the thing is, when Punch has a schoolday off, we have to have a play date, activity, project or class planned or she will be apt to sit on electronics.

Saying good night to you early. Out working for a while and hope to continue at home.

TCOY

1. Made a meatloaf using half ground beef and half ground turkey. Should be good for sandwiches.
2. Private Benjamin. My therapist helps me.
3. Having mushroom barley soup. Veggies, one point for me.

$MSOOP

• $20 for octopus plus.
• $9.06 plus $1 for tip jar at Marcel, for soup and iced coffee. $10.06.
• 2 mini boureka pastries, one with spinach and one with cheese, and 2 oz. bag salt and vinegar potato chips, $6.16 plus $1 for tip jar.  $7.16.

TOTAL: $37.22

In the Still of Vermont

I stopped here at Vermont Artisan Coffee & Tea Co., in a big red barnlike building in Waterbury, before I head home for the drive that inevitably runs about 7 hours, though it takes others maybe 6.

I want to write here, where it's quiet and still, rather than at home, where things can get pretty hectic--and there's a fussy little dog who pees on the floor, dustballs behind the chairs, cracks in the ceiling paint, an often rambunctious, slime-making fifth grader. [Her slime ingredients are carefully lined up on her vanity: glue, food coloring, scented lotion, shaving cream, etc. Blending, pressing, squishing and kneading the soft slime is a stress reliever for Punch. Kids love it and she even peddles it to her friends.]

I asked Meggy to recommend a good cafe where I could sit and write...and she suggested Artisan. It is on my way home. Her brother, sister-in-law and their two daughters visited this past summer from Oregon and told her about it. You step out of the car and smell coffee. I got a regular cup for $1.95. Delicious. The music is great. There is even a coffee school here.

Anyway, here are some signs of Vermont that I loved on this trip. I arrived Saturday at 5 p.m. and am leaving less than 48 hours later, but rested and recharged. It is fun to see my friend and her husband. I'm so grateful Meg and I met on the first night of freshman year at Douglass College!

The Fabric of Vermont

1. Slippy, muddy dirt road this morning. But Meggy told me to turn left at the red barn in her Cady Hill Road neighborhood, so I did, and that helped. But I should have braked sooner when approaching the stop sign. My brakes stuttered a little.
2. Snow on the mountaintop. We drove up to the ski area, so lovely. Flurries. And we popped into the skytop village, stopping in First Chair Alpine Co. shop to browse fashion that works from town to trail, as the saleswoman said. Such beautiful sweaters, hats and gloves. I want to be rich when I walk in that store and feel the soft white hats, see the tapered, zippered sweaters and the little cosmetic bags made from real Swiss army blankets! I want money to be no object, as they say.
3. The cheery, cherry-red "Over Easy" gondolas that carry skiers [or tourists] from one area to another.
4. Mountains, mountains everywhere. Quiet, strong and still. Tranquil and trustworthy. Reminding me of men, women and sleeping bears of few words. They're not going anywhere. They weather storms--and look even prettier for having done so. Rain and snow cannot beat them down. We women can be like mountains. We weather a lot, have some wrinkles and crinkles but are still beautiful, majestic and strong after the storms. People know they can lean on us.
5. Cabot cheese. Yum, I had on my eggs at the Whip Bar & Grill in the Green Mountain Inn [since 1833] and saw Cheddar mashed potatoes listed on menus.
6. The annual crafts fair in South Burlington! Meggy loves to go, and that's why I came this weekend. It was really something. My favorites included: Alchemy Fine Jewelry, with Connie Coleman's slender, wavy, stackable silver rings with precious stones; Sweet Seasons Farm & Artisan Confections, where I bought lovely packaged vegan chocolates for Figgy's Christmas stocking, and a chocolate-dunked marshmallow on a stick for Punch; the beeswax candle booth, have to find card in my car; and Bonnie Doon's Scottish Shortbread, though I should not have bought a pack of 4 for $5 because I ate 3.5 of them and Meg only ate a half. Meggy always likes to visit artist Ellie Tallon's booth. She buys adorable clay Christmas tree ornaments for the little girls in her life, including her two nieces in Oregon and our Punchy. So sweet.
7. White steeples against November skies.
8. People in plaid shirts and sensible boots.
9. The beautiful deer that visits M & G's yard a lot.
10. Hearing about the events at church that Meggy helps with: the chicken potpie supper and the Christmas fair. Darn, my timing was off for both of those!

Well, I would love to write more, but I better go. I have a long road ahead of me.

Punch has Sister to Sister after school with her friend and my sitter/friend Elaine is getting her at 5:15, then bringing her home. I hope to be home by 9 p.m. Dan should be home well before that.

Have a good Monday.

Fighting the Urge

Please excuse the weird spacing here. Not sure what happened.

Today is Day 19 since I started with my new OA sponsor, and have been avoiding sugar, flour and wheat at his wise encouragement. Yes, you heard this cake lover right.

In that time, I have baked Peanut Butter Cookies twice, using oats and peanut butter, apple juice and coconut oil [and sea salt and a couple other ingredients]. Dan and Figgy like them--can't fool Punchy.

I have had a few falls--I felt shaky and carbohydrate-craving, and then reached once for a whole-wheat English muffin with blueberry preserves and butter and another time for long pretzel logs. Just today, I felt shaky, having had breakfast at 9:45 and not eating lunch till 2:30. I ate 2 spoonfuls of Punchy's green tea ice cream, one of her favorite treats, and some of the granola I got for Figgy, mixed in with plain Cheerios.

Just saying though, it's hard. Two minutes ago, I followed a Food52 link to the recipe 

for Jacques Torres' Chocolate Chip Cookies. 

[Google if you must. It ran one summer in the NY Times, I still remember, and it is an 

incredible cookie, involving sea salt, chocolate disks and a 24-hour resting period in the 

fridge for the dough.]

Onward I go, onward I walk. I have been turning to delicious non sweets, such as the 

fabulously creamy cashew milk with coffee and cacao from Juice Culture in town; the 

baby eggplants I roasted with fresh lemon juice and torn mint leaves; the smoothie I can 


make with frozen banana and pure unsweetened Valrhona cocoa powder from France.

Benefits [This is for my friend, Nan, who always asks, But how do you feel? She is right to ask.]:

1. I have not been losing my temper as much. I am on more of an even keel. I am not as likely to turn into a monster who yells. In other words, I am more patient.
2. No dark depression.
3. My blood sugar is better.
4. I am getting along better with my husband. 
5. I am sleeping better.
6. I am napping less, and for shorter times when I do.
7. I have gotten to my 8 a.m. yoga class 3 times in the last 8 days.
8. I am more present. Stay in today.
9. I have lost several pounds. I have many more to go.

Hope all is well in your pocket of the world. xo

The Fuchsia is Bright

I got my hands on a bag of real green moss and relined my metal planter,
then spooned in soil and popped in a pink impatiens.
The moss and the flowers are supposed to thrive in shade, but we shall see. 

Still avoiding flour, sugar and wheat for the most part--baked
these PB cookies with old-fashioned oats, some
whole and some whirred into oat flour. I can't lie, I did
miss the flour and sugar. But the cookies are filling, and
pretty good. Dan and Figgy liked them, too.

Today leaned heavily toward TCOY.  I did sell that new essay [about my hated CPAP machine], so I'm happy, but still struggling to complete kitchen tool copy.

Since I will be driving Punchy 1.5 hours south on the Parkway to see her birth mom for sleepover into Mother's Day, I decided I was long overdue for a pampering blowout. I have been avoiding them to save money, and have also been embracing my springy curls a bit more. Also had not had a pedicure in months, so got one w the Essie summer 2018 color THE FUCHSIA IS BRIGHT. LOL.

I'm tired now and have to rise early for a busy day but here is my TCOY list:

1. Weeded a little spot and inserted my dahlia bulbs. Felt my age down on knees, especially getting up; need gardener’s pad.
2. Freshened up my metal planter. #beautyaboveall
3. Baked the PB cookies. No sugar, flour or wheat except 1 T pure maple syrup.
4. Nap.
5. Beauty salon salvation.
6. Blueberries and yogurt.
7. Walked around block once and another 25 min. back from town.
8. Stopped on way home for coffee energy balls and a cashew milk from Juice Culture and day-boat scallops from Gus's Fish Market.
9. Had those day-boat scallops and a sweet potato.
10. Dan was working at a party tonight and Figgy and Punch were both out with friends. So I rented "California Typewriter," the documentary about a typewriter repair shop and typewriter collectors, including Tom Hanks. Dan, who owns many old typewriters as the 60-Second Novelist, saw the movie in theaters. I enjoyed it, though it was a bit long. It made me want to get out my old portables and spiff them up and use them. The red, blue, yellow and old floral-painted typewriters looked inviting. The collectors' passion was inspiring. We should get shelves to show off Dan's machines; these people have glassed-in cabinets. Also, my Danny should have been in this film!
11. Listened to my playlist on Spotify, including "Peace Train" by Yusuf/Cat Stevens. [Who would have thought when Sis drove me around in the white Ford Falcon in the 1970s and we listened to Cat on 8-track tapes that we would one day call him Yusuf?]

Good night, sleep well.

Ali's Applesaucers, Vegan or with Butter

#bakeuntilgolden

ALI'S APPLESAUCERS

The comforting scent of cinnamon-flecked apples wafts through your home as these plump cookies bake. But they won't cloud your thinking with added sugar in any form, or lead to a rise and fall/crash, and the whole grains help carry you through the day. Superfast to assemble. Add chopped, toasted pecans or walnuts if you have some.

Makes about 2 dozen large cookies.

4 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
2/3 cup apple juice or apple juice concentrate
1/2 cup [1 stick] butter [today I used vegan cultured butter; you could also use coconut oil instead]
1 egg [today I used The Neat Egg, egg replacer powder to make vegan]
1 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/3 cup raisins or chopped dried apricots
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon

1. Preheat oven to 375 F.
2. Grease two cookie sheets, or line with parchment paper.
3. Whir 1 cup oats in food processor until finely ground to make oat flour.
4. With mixer, beat apple juice and butter until blended. 
5. Beat in egg and applesauce.
6. Stir in oat flour, remaining 3 cups oats, and raisins, salt, baking powder, baking soda and cinnamon until blended.
7. Drop by spoonfuls onto greased or lined cookie sheets.
8. Bake about 12 to 15 minutes or until lightly browned.

This is the vegan, no-flour version of what Dan named "Ali's Applesaucers" 26 years ago, when we were newlyweds. I had started making them in my Ocean Grove, NJ kitchen when we were dating. It is adapted from the Applesauce Cookies recipe from the canary-yellow pages of The Low Blood Sugar Cookbook by Patricia and Edward Krimmel, copyright 1986.

Here is what Dan penned on the page in blue ink when we were younger and [more newly] in love, the second year of our marriage. I baked these in our Montclair apartment, where Dan had stayed up into Easter morning to surprise me with a fresh coat of white paint on our big dish cupboard/cookbook shelf and blue hearts around the border.

Here's the ultimate perfect name:
ALI'S APPLESAUCERS

SUNDAY, OCT 18, 1992

Tonight, after watching 60 Minutes + the old
Ed Sullivan show, Alice found the perfect
all-time great version of these cookies, 
worthy of the name, "ALI BABAS."

"EL PERFECTO"

Did you know that Dan has been a type 1, insulin-dependent diabetic since age 18, his freshman year in college? He has taken such good care of himself. All my life's a circle, as the song goes, and we are coming back to this recipe.

xoxoxo

TCOY

1. Biked in and out of town for 2., below.
2. Solo appt w Punchy’s therapist; helpful insights.
3. Bought green tulip-sleeve [aka bell-sleeve] green cardigan by 525 America at Barbara Eclectic on Valley Road. That label makes cute sweaters. Visualized wearing it over my shoulders on cool Cape Cod night.
4. Went to Gus & Co. Seafood for 1/2 lb delicious day-boat scallops, which I pan-seared for dinner for Punch and me. [Dan and Figgy were out.]
5. Had healthy, fresh vegs and rice bowl, late lunch, at Marcel; Sis treated.
6. Walked Sugar and Buttercup to grassy island.
7. Sweet potato. Plain grass-fed yogurt. Banana. Iced coffee. Plump dried apricots. Rosemary almonds.
8. Nap.

+CHANGE

OREOS ARE VEGAN photo by John Komar via delish.com.

I just went to CVS to get Punch's RX refill and while waiting, browsed around and plucked items so I could cash in on my CVS grocery coupons, saving well over $10.

I noticed this +CHANGE:

I am getting much better at not wandering the cookie aisle and haplessly/helplessly/hopelessly tossing a package of Oreos, Fig Newtons, Nutter Butters or even trail mix with mock M&Ms into my cart--"for our daughters." 

I still falter sometimes [usually with the Tate's chocolate chip cookies Punch favors, from Kings] but far less often.

Simply put, if I buy it, I will eat it. 

The package might last until Punch and Figgy return from school [Oreos are vegan] but then again, it likely will not. 

I will inevitably eat most of it.

It is a battle. The voice inside me reminds me again and again that Punchy's ADHD meds suppress her appetite; her dr. monitors her weight closely and wants her to gain--thus, cookies. We see him every three months. Her weight is low on the growth chart. 

Yet she is strong and fast and smart, so I will continue to focus on normal foods that will not be tempting for me, such as plump dried apricots, cashews, steak, corn on the cob, chocolate milk, berries--and Saltines she can spread PB on. 

She does not take the meds if it is not a schoolday, so she usually enjoys eating on the weekends, vacays, holidays.

This is a sea change for me. As a slim young twentysomething, I would buy one of those single-sleeve boxes of Fig Newtons when I went to do my laundry at the Busy Bee Laundromat in Bradley Beach. The owner, Kathleen, very petite, might eat a couple of them but.....

Change is hard. So hard. I remember Oreos as a rare childhood treat, driving up to the Catskills to visit friends, Dad driving, Mom turning around to hand me a couple from the cellophane sleeve.

I want to sweeten my girls' lives. But a cranky, vicious mother high on sugar and exhausted from being overweight will not sweeten their lives. Such a mother could poison them.

HAVE A GOOD DAY.

Signed, Oreo againster

+CHANGEs

I'd like to start listing positive changes I've been making. Like TCOY [TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF], I hope to now incorporate +CHANGE. These are important changes I've made on my path to better nutrition--many of them thanks to my friend and mentor, Rachael. TCOY actions are just that; but +CHANGEs are ways I have changed my thinking in the big picture and, I hope, for the long run.

I caught the bad cold that went from Punch to Dan. Big mug of tea by my side, scratchy throat, tired.

Talk to you tomorrow.

TCOY

1. Kept appt for routine bloodwork. I kept putting it off and/or making a date and forgetting.
2. Ate vegs.

+CHANGEs

• Dan was picking up Chinese food for our family to share for dinner after 8 p.m.--one tofu and broccoli entree, which came with a small brown rice, and one mu shu shrimp entree. I told him not to get an extra large rice or an order of steamed broccoli--the place charges a lot for those. I made a pot of rice and steamed some broccoli with baby carrots--and then proceeded to add more vegs to my plate.
• There's been a big stir recently about "pot-banging chocolate chip cookies," which are huge and look amazing. You freeze the dough rounds before baking and lift and lower the cookie sheet in the oven to flatten the cookies and make shattered cracks around the edges. I was about to order the author's book [Vanilla Bean something] on amazon and then a voice said, "You can make the cookies if you want. The recipe is online." I have so many dessert books already.....it's an addiction. The big +CHANGE is not just hearing the voice--because I have heard her before--but heeding the message. Exactly how many sweets will it take to take my life?

Day 8: Still Just One Day at a Time

Can't do too much too soon. Getting used to sleep apnea [CPAP] machine, which technician dropped off yesterday. Bought new bubble bath for a nice treat. And Bosc pears to slice and caramelize with a pinch of tawny brown sugar and cinnamon.

Went to therapy today. Respect and trust my therapist [blog code name: Private Benjamin]. But we differ on some significant things. He thinks if sugar is a problem, because it is addictive for some people, that said person should not put herself in the way of it via holiday parties with lavish dessert tables and well-stocked bars. But said person disagrees, does not want to skip the parties. I could conceivably, as I did a couple times last year, bring a big crystal bowl of fresh red strawberries. They disappeared. People loved them.

Didn't have the heart to tell V. today that I am making chocolate biscotti to bring to my book group on Friday night. You see, biscotti contain less sugar and butter than ordinary cookies and are hard, so you can't really race through a handful of soft bites. We read a book based in Italy.

Onward. More to come.

Hunting for Biscotti

Tip of the iceberg: My small sun room office contains my
treasure trove of cookbooks.

 

I sent H. and Punch to our friend's Super Bowl party down the block. I had a melancholy day. Well, it was ok at first but then it kind of descended. I was not in a party mood. I was in a get-out-my-cookbooks-and-find-a-great-biscotti-recipe mood. I've been avoiding sugar but allowing myself some crunchy biscotti made with a little sugar and a little honey. So I decided to make some. Finally settled on the Anise Almond Biscotti in Martha Stewart's Baking Handbook, tweaking it a bit. It makes a big batch and calls for 1 cup sugar, so I cut that to a half-cup and added a few big squeezes from the honey bear. Let me know if you would like the recipe.

As much to partially document my baking books as to inform you of my efforts, here are the books I leafed through, at my leisure. Some had biscotti recipes, some didn't. I loved looking through them all.

1. Alice Medrich's Cookies and Brownies. This small soft-back is special to me because I love Alice Medrich and because my friend Madonna [nickname, Candy] gave it to me one year in NYC for my birthday. The inscription, in green marker, says: 1/21/03 To Alice: A Book of Sweets for a Sweet Friend! Happy Birthday! XXXOOO Madonna.
2. Cooking for Mr. Latte by Amanda Hesser. I adore my hardcover copy of this book.
3. Back in the Day Bakery Made with Love. Kim, a blog reader and friend, lives down in Savannah and when I was at Tybee Island ["Savannah's Beach"] for a press trip, Kim gave me a quick car tour of her beloved city and this bakery, which was charming and wonderful. I bought my copy there and the owners signed it!
4. 125 Cookies to Bake, Nibble, and Savor by Elinor Klivans. My friend Elly gave me this recently!
5. BAKED New Frontiers in Baking by Matt Lewis and Renato Poliafito.. I adore this book. And it's been on my bucket list for years to get to this bakery in Red Hook, Brooklyn Kim, have you been there yet?
6. Chocolate & Vanilla by Gale Gand. Such a clever book. Half is chocolate recipes; then turn and open it from the other side for the vanilla recipes. I used to make the Chocolate-Dipped Peanut Butter Balls after school sometimes for Figgy and her friend Christy. 
7. The Silver Palate Cookbook by Julee Rosso & Sheila Lukins. Memories of the days as a young writer at Woman's Day Magazine when my friend Kim and her editor, Susan, talked about the chicken with prunes and the soup recipes. And my sister-in-law Therese made her wedding cake from a recipe in here. It was so delicious.
8. The All-American Cookie Book by Nancy Baggett. I bought this years back at Kings, the supermarket. I picked it up and put it down on several visits until I succumbed. Cookie cookbooks are hard to resist!
9. Giada at Home by Giada de Laurentiis. She is so pretty, and Italian, so this was a good book to check for Italian twice-baked cookies. 
10. Miette by Meg Ray with Leslie Jonath, recipes from a San Francisco pastry shop that I would love to visit! The edges of the pages are beautifully scalloped. I bought this at a pretty winery in Maine one summer with H.'s sister and her family.
11. Sarabeth's Bakery From My Hands to Yours by Sarabeth Levine. I forget where I bought this big, beautiful book, but I saw Sarabeth at Macy's in Herald Square, making piecrusts.I have made the chocolate pudding in this book; it is complicated but divine.
12. BAKED Explorations, again by Matt Lewis and Renate Poliafito. Again, I want to go to their bakery in Red Hook! Have to drive in one day.
13. The UnCook Book by Tanya Maher. I was drawn to the hot pink type on the cover and bought this raw food cookbook in Whole Foods.
14. Baking with Julia written by Dorie Greenspan. Nice book.
15. Julia Reed's South. Love her writing and her recipes look great.
16. Rose's Christmas Cookies by Rose Levy Beranbaum. This is a beautiful keepsake book. I bought a copy for both my Sis and for my friend Jean Rose. My friend Meggy got me The Cake Bible by this author, another wonderful book.
17. In the Kitchen with a Good Appetite, by Melissa Clark. Clark is the gifted NY Times food writer. I like her roasted butternut squash pie.
18. The Black Dog Summer on the Vineyard Cookbook. I nabbed this on the Cape one summer. H. was mad because he thought I was wasting money. I do have a thing about cookbooks--and this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Thanks for taking this trip down cooking memory lane....what are your favorite cookbooks? Good night, sweet dreams.